Showing results by narrator "Patton Oswalt" in All Categories

Are the kids asleep? Yes? Good. This one isn’t for them. Now, if your weary, grown-up mind has been searching for a snarkier alternative to your favorite childhood tales, this Audible Original, hosted by Nick Offerman (Parks & Recreation), will scratch that itch - and then some. Enjoy a hilarious collection of short stories, featuring performances from the likes of Tommy Chong (Cheech & Chong), Tony Hale (Veep), Patton Oswalt (The Goldbergs), and David Spade (Saturday Night Live).

Narrated by Patton Oswalt, Melissa McBride, and Alex Brightman, this collection includes all three of Alvin Schwartz's classic story collections: Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark, More Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark, and Scary Stories 3. Walking corpses, dancing bones, knife-wielding madmen, and narrow escapes from death - they're all here in this chilling collection of ghost stories, collected and retold by folklorist Alvin Schwartz. These horrific tales are guaranteed to raise goosebumps. Let the faint of heart beware.

Someone is committing random murders across Chicago—and making sure detectives Billy Harney (Aaron Paul) and Patti Harney (Krysten Ritter) are first on the crime scene. What connects the victims, and why is the killer leaving clues behind with each body? Billy and Patti are scrambling to stop the next killing when their father, Chief of Detectives Dan Harney (Beau Bridges), is kidnapped. But in their race to track him down, they uncover pieces of his past that simply can’t be true. Could their own flesh and blood be covering up a dark secret?

A masterful true crime account of the Golden State Killer - the elusive serial rapist turned murderer who terrorized California for over a decade - from Michelle McNamara, the gifted journalist who died tragically while investigating the case.

Comic-Con, 2036. The world is rocked by the bizarre and inexplicable materialization of Cateklysm Catholicon - a colorfully clad whack job decreeing that humanity's only hope lies in the lessons found in superhero comic books. "Cateklysm's Challenge" is born, enticing even the most skeptical with a prize that promises "the power to change the world".

Oswalt combines memoir with uproarious humor, from snow forts to Dungeons & Dragons to gifts from Grandma that had to be explained. He remem­bers his teen summers spent working in a movie Cineplex and his early years doing stand-up. Readers are also treated to several graphic elements, includ­ing a vampire tale for the rest of us and some greeting cards with a special touch.

Finding seeds of inspiration in the Brothers Grimm, seventeenth-century French lore, and Scottish ballads, Kelly Link spins classic fairy tales into utterly original stories of seekers—characters on the hunt for love, connection, revenge, or their own sense of purpose. Twisting and winding in astonishing ways, expertly blending realism and the speculative, witty, empathetic, and never predictable—these stories remind us once again of why Kelly Link is incomparable in the art of short fiction.

New York Times best-selling author, comedian, and actor Patton Oswalt shares his entertaining memoir about coming of age as a performer and writer in the late '90s while obsessively watching classic films at the legendary New Beverly Cinema in Los Angeles. Between 1995 and 1999, Patton Oswalt lived with an unshakeable addiction. It wasn't drugs, alcohol, or sex. It was film.

For more than 10 years, a mysterious and violent predator committed 50 sexual assaults in Northern California before moving south, where he perpetrated 10 sadistic murders. Then he disappeared, eluding capture by multiple police forces and some of the best detectives in the area. Three decades later, Michelle McNamara, a true crime journalist who created the popular website True Crime Diary, was determined to find the violent psychopath she called the Golden State Killer. Michelle pored over police reports, interviewed victims, and embedded herself in the online communities that were as obsessed with the case as she was.

Michelle Obama's legacy transcends categorization. Mrs. Obama was not only our first black first lady; she was President Obama's equal partner in marriage and parenthood and a tireless advocate for women's rights, education, healthy eating, and exercise. Her genre-busting personal style encouraged others to speak, to engage, even to dress as they wished.

An essay from Things I've Learned From the Women Who've Dumped Me.

What's it like to act with Johnny Depp and Tom Cruise? To direct Bob Dylan? More important, what's it like to live inside the minds of the inspired comedians telling these hilarious stories about celebrities?

Finding seeds of inspiration in the Brothers Grimm, seventeenth-century French lore, and Scottish ballads, Kelly Link spins classic fairy tales into utterly original stories of seekers—characters on the hunt for love, connection, revenge, or their own sense of purpose.

This definitive Un-Cabaret album features unusually honest stories from seriously funny performers from the groundbreaking Un-Cabaret live show.

The definitive Un-Cabaret audio features seriously funny one-of-a-kind stories about sex, celebrities, inter-racial love, public humiliation, Hollywood horror stories, spiritual transcendence, and more! From the ground-breaking live show.

Performing for a packed house at Spreckels Theater in San Diego, comedian Patton Oswalt delivers a blistering standup set in his trademark blend of acerbic wit and unabashed silliness. His topics range from the future of our nation to daddy/daughter outings gone wrong to the scope of humor in Germany.

Patton Oswalt: "Annihilation" is a deeply personal and powerful stand-up special that dives into recent developments in Patton’s life, following the passing of his wife, and how he worked through the pain and grief by finding humor. Oswalt also explores topics including the angst of social media, the current political climate, and being tricked by robocalls. Filmed at Chicago’s Athenaeum Theatre, the one-hour stand-up special originally premiered globally on October 17 on Netflix.

Patton dishes out a little philosophy and a lot of funny in this classic Un-Cab set about a singular encounter with a NY cabbie.

Patton Oswalt is a brilliant comedy writer and the ringleader of Comedians of Comedy on Showtime and on tour. In fact, he's probably appearing at a club in your area right now. You've probably seen him on King of Queens or Balls of Fury and heard him as the voice of Rattatouile.

Patton Oswalt falls in love. This is a classic Un-Cabaret performance, in which Beth's questions push the performer to go deeper and find all kinds of funny.