Get out of Your Own Way: Overcoming Self-Defeating Behavior
Overcoming Self-Defeating Behavior
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Get out of Your Own Way: Overcoming Self-Defeating Behavior
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Narrated by:
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Mark Goulston
About this listen
Practical, proven self-help steps show how to transform 40 common self-defeating behaviors, including procrastination, envy, obsession, anger, self-pity, compulsion, neediness, guilt, rebellion, inaction, and more.
©1996 Mark Goulston and Philip Goldberg (P)2018 Penguin AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Bonds That Make Us Free
- Healing Our Relationships, Coming to Ourselves
- By: C. Terry Warner
- Narrated by: C. Terry Warner
- Length: 10 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 324
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 273
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 270
Bonds That Make Us Free is a groundbreaking book that suggests the remedy for our troubling emotions by addressing their root causes. You'll learn how, in ways we scarcely suspect, we are responsible for feelings like anger, envy, and insecurity that we have blamed on others. Even though we fear to admit this, it is good news. If we produce these emotions, it falls within our power to stop them. But we have to understand our part in them far better than we do, and that is what this remarkable book teaches.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Helped save our marriage.
- By Kevin Gray on 02-15-19
By: C. Terry Warner
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The Good Karma Divorce
- Avoid Litigation, Turn Negative Emotions into Positive Actions, and Get On with the Rest of Your Life
- By: Judge Michele F. Lowrance
- Narrated by: Judge Michele F. Lowrance
- Length: 4 hrs and 20 mins
- Abridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 57
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 37
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 36
The average divorce takes two years with a median cost of $30,000. Yet the true cost of divorce is more than time or money; it is the legacy of the decisions made during the process. No matter how long two people have been married, whether there are children or not, divorce often leads to bad choices that can forever alter a family's life. But what if you could reverse the stereotype and move regret-free through this process?
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5 out of 5 stars
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Thanks for the great advice!
- By Tom Clemente on 11-09-16
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Codependent No More
- How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself
- By: Melody Beattie
- Narrated by: Melody Beattie
- Length: 8 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,053
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 917
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 914
Is someone else's problem your problem? If, like so many others, you've lost sight of your own life in the drama of tending to a loved one’s self-destructive behavior, you may be codependent—and you may find yourself in this book. With personal reflections, exercises, and instructive stories drawn from Beattie’s own life and the lives of those she’s counseled, Codependent No More helps you break old patterns and maintain healthy boundaries, and offers a clear and achievable path to healing, hope, freedom, and happiness.
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2 out of 5 stars
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great book with unbearable reader
- By Nielah on 09-01-22
By: Melody Beattie
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How Can I Forgive You?
- The Courage to Forgive, the Freedom Not To
- By: Janis A. Spring, Michael Spring
- Narrated by: Coleen Marlo
- Length: 7 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 94
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 79
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 79
Until now, we have been taught that forgiveness is good for us and that good people forgive. Dr. Spring, a gifted therapist and the award-winning author of After the Affair, proposes a radical, life-affirming alternative that lets us overcome the corrosive effects of hate and get on with our lives - without forgiving. She also offers a powerful and unconventional model for genuine forgiveness - one that asks as much of the offender as it does of us.
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3 out of 5 stars
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I'm a Christian
- By jelady on 06-14-19
By: Janis A. Spring, and others
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Toxic Parents
- Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life
- By: Craig Buck, Susan Forward
- Narrated by: Jo Anna Perrin
- Length: 10 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 768
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 647
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 641
In this remarkable self-help guide, Dr. Susan Forward draws on case histories and the real-life voices of adult children of toxic parents to help you free yourself from the frustrating patterns of your relationship with your parents---and discover a new world of self-confidence, inner strength, and emotional independence.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Its worth a listen.
- By Amanda on 08-20-12
By: Craig Buck, and others
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Recovering from Emotionally Immature Parents
- Practical Tools to Establish Boundaries and Reclaim Your Emotional Autonomy
- By: Lindsay C. Gibson PsyD
- Narrated by: Suzie Althens
- Length: 7 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 565
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 474
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 470
In this important sequel to Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, author Lindsay Gibson offers powerful tools to help you step back and protect yourself at the first sign of an emotional takeover, make sure your emotions and needs are respected, and break free from the coercive control of emotionally immature parents.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Asinine
- By Amazon Customer on 07-14-20
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Anger Management Workbook for Men
- Take Control of Your Anger and Master Your Emotions
- By: Aaron Karmin MA
- Narrated by: Brett Barry
- Length: 3 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 201
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 173
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 170
Clinical therapist Aaron Karmin teaches you the skills to manage your anger without aggression and build up your self-confidence, self-control, and self-respect. The Anger Management Workbook for Men goes beyond why men get angry and helps you get to the root of your anger. It gives you positive and productive anger management tools to strengthen the most important and most overlooked relationship in your life - your relationship with yourself.
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1 out of 5 stars
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just not good at all.
- By brian gregory on 06-02-22
By: Aaron Karmin MA
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12 Smart Things to Do When the Booze and Drugs Are Gone
- Choosing Emotional Sobriety Through Self-Awareness and Right Action
- By: Allen Berger PhD
- Narrated by: Matthew Boston
- Length: 5 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 32
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 25
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 25
Allen Berger, PhD, draws on the teachings of Bill W. and psychotherapy pioneers to offer 12 hallmarks of emotional sobriety that, when practiced, give people the confidence to be accountable for their behavior, ask for what they want and need, and grow and develop a deeper trust in the process of life. These smart things include: understanding who you are and what's important to you; learning not to take others' reactions personally; trusting your inner compass; and taking responsibility for your reactions to problematic situations.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Rich exploration and application of ES principles
- By rdkemper on 08-12-23
By: Allen Berger PhD
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10 Stupid Things Couples Do To Mess Up Their Relationships
- By: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
- Narrated by: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
- Length: 2 hrs and 37 mins
- Abridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 199
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 128
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 124
In Ten Stupid Things Couples Do to Mess Up Their Relationships, Dr. Laura Schlessinger calls for a return to traditional courtship. Courtship allows couples and their families to get acquainted with each other over a longer period of time, and provides structure and guidelines for that important process.
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5 out of 5 stars
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No brainer ideas that we can forget
- By Ali0531 on 07-06-15
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Daily Wisdom for Why Does He Do That?
- Encouragement for Women Involved with Angry and Controlling Men
- By: Lundy Bancroft
- Narrated by: Gary Galone
- Length: 11 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 137
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 116
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Story5 out of 5 stars 116
Like a constant friend, this collection of meditations is a source of strength and reassurance designed to speak to women like you, women in relationships with angry and controlling men. It helps you to digest what is happening a piece at a time, so you can gain clarity, safety, and freedom.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Just what I needed.
- By lori Goodson on 11-07-15
By: Lundy Bancroft
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Should I Stay or Should I Go?
- A Guide to Knowing If Your Relationship Can - and Should - Be Saved
- By: Lundy Bancroft, JAC Patrissi
- Narrated by: Stephen R. Thorne
- Length: 13 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 275
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 234
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 233
In this supportive and straightforward guide, Lundy Bancroft, the author of Why Does He Do That?, and communication specialist JAC Patrissi offer a way for women to practically take stock of their relationships and move forward, with or without their partners.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Paradigm Shift
- By Sydnee Adams-Hancock on 04-08-16
By: Lundy Bancroft, and others
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Break Through
- When to Give In, How to Push Back
- By: Tim Clinton, Pat Springle
- Narrated by: Christopher Prince
- Length: 6 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 29
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 22
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 22
When you really care about someone, it’s easy to get stuck in painful, even destructive patterns - caving in to a spouse’s manipulation, ignoring a live-at-home son’s irresponsibility, not confronting a friend’s addiction. We excuse people again and again, and then kick ourselves for not setting better boundaries. But this important audiobook, with its transformational tools from leading Christian counselor Tim Clinton and noted author Pat Springle, will guide you in not only breaking through to better relationships but making big changes for the better.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Worth the read
- By Jessie on 12-29-19
By: Tim Clinton, and others
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Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart
- 30 True Things You Need to Know Now
- By: Gordon Livingston
- Narrated by: James Jenner
- Length: 4 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 529
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 303
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 305
Full of things we may know but have not articulated to ourselves, Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart is a gentle and generous alternative to the trial-and-error learning that makes wisdom such an expensive commodity. For everyone who feels a sense of urgency that the clock ticks and still we aren't the person we'd like to be, it offers solace, guidance, and hope.
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4 out of 5 stars
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This guy is a straight shooter
- By Julia on 11-13-05
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Self-Esteem
- A Proven Program of Cognitive Techniques for Assessing, Improving, and Maintaining Your Self-Esteem
- By: Matthew McKay PhD, Patrick Fanning
- Narrated by: Gillian Vance
- Length: 13 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 51
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 35
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 35
The much-anticipated fourth edition of the best-selling classic by Matthew McKay, Self-Esteem is the go-to guide for those seeking to increase their sense of self-worth. This fully revised new edition features an innovative application of acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) to self-esteem and utilizes updated cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) to help listeners create positive change and thrive.
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1 out of 5 stars
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for professionals only
- By Sharon B on 01-12-21
By: Matthew McKay PhD, and others
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The Emotional Edge
- Discover Your Inner Age, Ignite Your Hidden Strengths, and Reroute Misdirected Fear to Live Your Fullest
- By: Crystal Andrus Morissette
- Narrated by: Andi Arndt
- Length: 9 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 23
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 19
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 18
The Emotional Edge is an exciting expansion of Crystal's successful brand - she has tackled weight management, confidence building, and spiritual growth; now she combines all that and more into her most powerful program yet. The Emotional Edge is a guide for letting go of the past and embracing a more empowered future. This audiobook is spiritual self-help designed to teach listeners how to overcome behavioral ruts and engage the world from a happier, more empowered place.
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5 out of 5 stars
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the world needs more of this.
- By Amber Jessop on 11-25-17
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The Journey of the Heroic Parent
- Your Child's Struggle & The Road Home
- By: Brad M. Reedy Ph.D.
- Narrated by: Tom Parks
- Length: 8 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 201
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 169
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 169
When a child is hurting, it can be the most painful challenge a parent will face. With compassion and perspective, Dr. Brad Reedy offers hope and wisdom for children who struggle and the parents who love them. The Journey of the Heroic Parent will take you on a journey to a happier, healthier relationship with your struggling child - and yourself. Through lessons learned, mother, father, and child will achieve greater understanding, love, and humanity - no matter what the outcome.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Loved it! Will read over again and again!
- By wooplicity on 06-21-15
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When a looming career funk, a growing drinking problem, and a challenging trek through therapy battered Dave Hollis, a Disney executive and father of four, he began to realize he was letting untruths about himself dictate his life. As he sank to the bottom of his valley, he had to make a choice. Would he push himself out of his comfort zone to become the best man he was capable of being, or would he play it safe and settle for mediocrity?
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great teaching points
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10 out of 10
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After two decades of personal experience, study, and client work, she is finally releasing her knowledge, wisdom, and practices into a short, powerful book to help people get out of their own way once and for all. Self Sabotage No More are the mindsets and methods that Jennie’s been sharing and using with clients to great success and transformational results.
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How to Stop Being Toxic: Overcome Manipulative Behaviors, Build Healthy Relationships and Restore Inner Peace Even if You're Surrounded by Negativity
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End the toxic cycle now: Quit manipulative behaviors, avoid hurting others and embrace meaningful connections with the people you love, all through 8 transformative steps. Are you struggling with the weight of your own identity, caught between who you are and who you're pressured to be, exacerbating your toxic behaviors? Does the shadow of chronic relationship conflicts darken your every interaction, leaving you entangled in a web of toxicity? You're not alone. Remarkably, a vast majority have experienced this, with studies indicating that 84% of women and 75% of men have had toxic ...
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So so
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I Know What to Do So Why Don't I Do It? (Second Edition)
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Life becomes complicated when you realize that the motivation to start or delay a task is a tug-of-war between positive and negative emotions. Don’t blame lack of willpower, laziness, or low motivation if you aren’t achieving your goals. Motivation is not a skill. Like a muscle, it’s subject to fatigue when stretched. That’s why fascinating research in the field of psychoneuroimmunology has revealed another reason you may feel paralyzed to take action—one with the potential to dramatically transform your life.
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Unfu*k Yourself
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Are you tired of feeling f*cked up? If you are, Gary John Bishop has the answer. In this straightforward handbook, he gives you the tools and advice you need to demolish the slag weighing you down and become the truly unf--ked version of yourself. "Wake up to the miracle you are," he directs. "Here's what you've forgotten: You're a f--king miracle of being." It isn't other people that are standing in your way; it isn't even your circumstances that are blocking your ability to thrive. It's yourself and the negative self-talk you keep telling yourself.
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Now I'm F'd for sure!
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Whether it’s by procrastinating or undermining our own abilities, we often let ourselves get in the way of our happiness or success. Why do we create our own obstacles and - more importantly - how do we stop? In this workshop, award-winning clinical psychologist and TV personality Dr. Judy Ho identifies the six thought triggers that often lead to self-sabotage, then lays out the four strategies that will help you fight these thought patterns and allow you to reach your best life.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Hits home
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Just Listen
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 345
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 344
Drawing on his experience as a psychiatrist, business consultant, and coach, author Mark Goulston combines his background with the latest scientific research to help listeners turn the "impossible" and "unreachable" people in their lives into allies, devoted customers, loyal colleagues, and lifetime friends. Just Listen provides simple but powerful techniques listeners can use to really get through to people.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Meh.
- By AnnMarie on 08-23-21
By: Mark Goulston MD
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The Leader in You
- By: Michael A. Crom, Stuart R. Levine, Dale Carnegie & Associates
- Narrated by: Stuart R. Levine
- Length: 1 hr and 29 mins
- Abridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 183
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 121
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 121
For 80 years, Dale Carnegie & Associates, Inc., has been training people to get the most out of what they put into their careers. The Leader in You builds on the fundamentals of human relationships to help you develop your own innate leadership skills. Learn basic techniques and find the leader in you to succeed.
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1 out of 5 stars
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the agony and the agony
- By Zach on 06-16-03
By: Michael A. Crom, and others
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Self Discipline: 30 Days to Self Discipline
- 30 Days to Greatness, Volume 2
- By: 30 Days to Greatness, Lucia Georgiou
- Narrated by: Matyas J.
- Length: 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 23
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 18
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Story4 out of 5 stars 18
What is self-discipline? What does it mean to lack it? Why do you think you're not as disciplined as you would like? Is it because you manage your time poorly? You lack organizational skills? You lack motivation? Procrastination is your greatest enemy? You're just too lazy? What many people don't realize is that all of these issues, which they see as causes of poor self-discipline, are actually symptoms. Are you confronting one or more of them?
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1 out of 5 stars
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"Day 12: create a routine. today set one"???HOW
- By Max-Laurent Alexandre on 09-28-22
By: 30 Days to Greatness, and others
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Control Your Mind and Master Your Feelings: This Book Includes - Break Overthinking & Master Your Emotions
- By: Eric Robertson
- Narrated by: Seth Thompson
- Length: 7 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 234
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 202
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Story4 out of 5 stars 203
We oftentimes look towards the outside world to find the roots of our problems. However, most of the times, we should be looking inwards. Our mind and our emotions determine our state of being in the present moment. If those aspects are left unchecked, we can get easily overwhelmed and are left feeling unfulfilled every single day.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Narrated by AI
- By Kate Stalter on 04-06-23
By: Eric Robertson
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Help Me, I'm Stuck
- Six Proven Methods to Shift Your Mindset from Self-Sabotage to Self-Improvement
- By: Vaughn Carter
- Narrated by: Alexander Burns
- Length: 3 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 229
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 226
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 225
Just a shift in your perspective can help you see things differently—not just with what you do, but also how you see yourself. In fact, you can get out of this mindset of feeling stuck and bring more positivity into your life all by yourself. All you have to do is follow these six simple methods. It’s not the circumstances around you that control the outcome, but the power of your thoughts and how you look at things. Are you ready to take control of your life? Discover how you can get unstuck from a negative mindset and live a rewarding life.
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5 out of 5 stars
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inteoduction
- By Heather Cummins on 09-21-24
By: Vaughn Carter
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Enough About Me
- The Unexpected Power of Selflessness
- By: Richard Lui
- Narrated by: Richard Lui
- Length: 7 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 35
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 24
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Story4 out of 5 stars 24
When his father was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease, Richard Lui made a tough decision. The award-winning news anchor decided to set aside his growing career to care for his family. At first, this new caregiving lifestyle did not come easily for Lui, and what followed was a seven-year exercise in what it really means to be selfless.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Not what I expected..
- By Danica Anderson on 04-05-21
By: Richard Lui
What listeners say about Get out of Your Own Way: Overcoming Self-Defeating Behavior
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Amazon Customer
- 03-02-19
Powerful
I never knew so much of my behaviors were based on situations I encountered as a child and inadvertently carried over to adulthood.
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14 people found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Calcifer kingsbury
- 04-07-20
Awareness Creator!!!
This book is absolutely incredible. it helps you delve deeper into WHY you react to things the way you do and where the root is. It helps you recognize areas in your life you didn't pay attention to. one of my favorite things is how it mentions that sometimes we need to be the parents our parents never had.
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Anonymous User
- 03-31-20
Very helpful information on dealing with people
Information was clear and concise, examples were helpful, and pointing out things to remember was great for notes
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Scott B.
- 08-21-24
insightful
With so many self defeating actions in life, many insightful actions are presented. Well worth a read (listen) and a re-read.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- MindfulCreator
- 02-02-19
Another Insightful and Practical Masterpiece of Dr. Goulston
What I appreciate about Dr. Goulston’s books is his not only sharing valuable and insightful information, but putting his heart in his words. As an author, Dr. Goulston truly cares about the reader and does this best to give them all they need to change their own lives and help others to change their lives for better. Dr. Goulston even included specific action steps to made it easier for the reader. If you are an action taker, you can’t fail following the practical advice in this book.
Wishing you success in implementing what you learn from Dr. Goulston!
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2 people found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Fred A. Cajuste
- 03-29-19
Overwhelming
Feels like this book was written just for me. Thanks for the awesome breakdown. Uncanny
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Michael
- 06-13-20
A must Listen! I took so many notes!
Mark, this book is amazing! I have read and listened to so many self help books over the years and I am surprised by how much I still took away. You are a brilliant man and a genuine soul. This book inspired me to reach out to my father and finally tell him that I loved him for the first time in 30 years. I have already recommended this book to many friends, family and associates. I can’t wait to listen to your other books! Congratulations on a job well done on your life’s work and this amazing book! Thank you so much! :-)
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Andreea Birsan
- 01-04-20
Loved it
Great structure (argument, usable insight, taking action), great examples, straightforward ideas meant to awaken one to understanding and taking new approaches to daily challenges. Performance not at all monotonous (there is always 1.25/1.5 speed available for those who are in a hurry:)). The author's training and clinical experience was also a criterion when choosing the book. Very satisfied with my purchase
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Michael Brown Jr
- 08-04-21
Very Good Book!
This is a very good book. You may not realize how many of these behaviors you exhibit until you listen. That’s how it was for me. Very good insights and action suggestions.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Amazon Customer
- 05-03-20
Great Educational Piece on living life
Very well thought out work on self improvement and taking control of your outlook and outlook comes.of your life. This book is a must read for anyone suffering from moving forward with their life. It's a be "the driver of your life not a passenger" type of work. Great Audible selection.
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