Showing titles in Humor

58,643,129. That's how many dollars 17-year-old Fortuna Jane Belleweather just won in the lotto jackpot. It's also about how many reasons she has for not coming forward to claim her prize. Problem #1: Jane is still a minor, and if anyone discovers she bought the ticket underage, she'll either have to forfeit the ticket or worse.... Problem #2: Let her hoarder mother cash it. The last thing Jane's mom needs is millions of dollars to buy more junk. Problem #3: Jane's best friend, aspiring journalist Brandon Kim, declares on the news that he's going to find the lucky winner.

Angelica Marie Hutcherson only agreed to write 250 words on the Academic Battle for the Homecoming Edition of the school's newspaper because the editor won't accept any of her other stories. But as Angelica starts to do her research, she comes to a startling realization: The Academic Battle, the Homecoming game, and the class election have all accidentally been scheduled on the same day, and it's too late to do anything about it!

Eunice "Bug" Smoot was 13 years old when her grandfather put her soul up as collateral on his dream car -- a classic 1958 Cadillac Biarritz. Now, five years later, Papa C is dead and buried, and Bug is trying to make it on her own by delivering pizzas and staying one step ahead of her landlord. And then the repo man arrives

Online, Fred goes by Existor@stmarks. His alter ego is the best gamer around - constantly on a winning streak, with tonnes of followers, and the confidence to go with it. But offline, Fred's life is miserable. His dad's always working, his mum's struggling, and at school, everyone looks straight through him. Until Existor's notoriety spreads to his school, and Fred sees an opportunity: everyone listens to what Existor has to say, so why not use that?

Sheils is very pleased with her perfectly controlled life (controlling others while she's at it). She's smart, powerful, the student body chair, and she even has a loving boyfriend. What more could a girl ask for? But everything changes when the first-ever interspecies transfer student, a pterodactyl named Pyke, enrolls at her school. There's something about him - something primal - that causes the students to lose control whenever he's around.

Sixth formers Kerry and Annie are nerdy, horny, hilarious, and exceptionally uncool. They’re never invited to parties, picked for sports teams or included in jokes, yet together they form a unit so great that they don’t need anyone else. But, when they’re approached by the popular Heather and invited to one of the coolest parties in town to help her find out who’s been trolling her from an account claiming to be her dead dad, their investigations take a turn. Heather’s best friend is found murdered. Suffocated with a mooncup.

What if you hung out with Jesus before he was, well, J.E.S.U.S? What if Jesus went to your high school, drove an old Jeep, and delivered pizzas part-time to save money for college? For Paul Watson, Jesus is just a fellow A.P. student and pizza delivery co-worker who becomes a close friend. When a seemingly random pizza delivery mixes up Paul with Jesus - and an eerie and awkward encounter with the Lord of Darkness himself - the two friends are catapulted on a journey beyond space and time...literally.

From Governor General's Literary Award-winning author Susin Nielsen comes a funny and heartfelt story about learning how to rise above your most embarrassing moment with humor, best friends, and a killer triangle solo.

Don't mess with Timothy. He might seem like your average chipmunk who loves seeds, sunbathing, and enjoying a quiet life in the suburbs. But after new neighbors move in and wreak havoc, they will have to come face to face with his wit and resourcefulness. The last straw is that the new neighbors keep calling him Chip. Convincing all manner of rodents and other small wildlife to work together, Timothy launches an assault against their invasive neighbors.

Jesse is having the worst year. First a race of homicidal (but very polite) aliens invaded Earth, killing pretty much everyone and enslaving the few people left behind, including Jesse; his best friend, Michael; his sort-of girlfriend, Lauren; and the girl of his dreams, Catlin. Then he and the other survivors discovered that they had some sort of latent telepathic abilities that made them dangerous to the aliens, so their only hope for survival was to run away. But not everyone made it out alive.

It’s not because she hates weddings. It’s not because the groom is her boyfriend’s dad (although yuck). It’s not even because Vegas weddings are cliché as hell. It’s because her mom is an evil incarnate vamp known as The Executioner. Nothing good can come of someone marrying a person named The Executioner. Nothing.

Seventeen-year-old River doesn't know what to do with himself when Penny, the girl he adores, breaks up with him. He lives in LA, where nobody walks anywhere, and Penny was his ride; he never bothered getting a license. He's stuck. He's desperate. Okay...he's got to learn to drive. But first he does the unthinkable - he starts walking.

Meet Paul (again). Yes, Paul has solved the mystery of his girlfriend’s behavior; no, Paul makes no sense out of his encounter with the creepy guy; and, yes, Paul does manage to finish his paper and turn it in on time. However, Paul, Jesus, and Lacy only discover more unanswered questions than answers. It doesn’t help matters either that Jesus finally meets the creepy guy with the pristine dental work. Will Paul recover from his second trip to lunch detention for reasons that nobody would believe? Will it go on his transcript?

Tiffany Aching is a trainee witch now working for the seriously scary Miss Treason. But when Tiffany witnesses the Dark Dance, the crossover from summer to winter, she does what no one has ever done before: she leaps into the dance. And into the oldest story there is. She draws the attention of the Wintersmith himself....As Tiffany-shaped snowflakes hammer down on the land, can Tiffany deal with the consequences of her actions?

Aphra Brown is bold and outgoing. Her best friend, Bethany, is achingly beautiful. Individually, they could both do a little better in the self-esteem department, but together? Together, they have what it takes to win over Greg D'Agostino, a proverbial "10", who happens to be fluent in six languages - seven if you count the language of smoldering gazes. What begins as an honest mistake turns into an elaborate deception, wherein Bethany goes on dates with Greg while Aphra coaches her on what to say, and texts him in the guise of Bethany....

Una volta abbattute le pareti, cominciano a spuntare fuori problemi di ogni genere. Legno marcio, muffe tossiche, creature indesiderate e qualcosa di ancora più sinistro: siamo sicuri che valeva davvero la pena di lanciarsi nella ristrutturazione della casa? si domandano Greg e la sua famiglia. Quando finalmente tutta la polvere si poserà, gli Heffley potranno rimanere... o dovranno lasciare la città?

Nothing ever happens to Charlotte and Frankie. Their lives are nothing like the lives of the girls they read about in their YA novels. They don't have flowing red hair, and hot romantic encounters never happen - let alone meeting a true soul mate. But when Charlotte decides to write down everything that happens during their sophomore year - to prove that nothing happens and there is no plot or character development in real life - she's surprised to find that being 15 isn't as boring as she thought.

Jack did something awful with an ice cream: now it's his turn to get licked. The girl sucks Jack's eye. Her tongue is huge and spongy and dribbly. The tip of it goes up one nostril.

Imagine there was never a Laguna Beach, a Newport Harbor, the shimmering Hills. Imagine that your hometown - your school - is the first place XTV descends to set up cameras. Now imagine they've trained them on you. When Jesse O'Rourke gets picked for a "documentary" being filmed at her school in the Hamptons she's tempted to turn down the offer. But there's a tuition check attached to being on the show, and Jesse needs the cash so she can be the first in her family to attend college.

>In the case of Savanna and Gracie, friendship isn’t based on reason, but on the notion that opposites attract. Savanna is a head-turning, attention-seeking, accessorized one of “Those Girls,” while Gracie’s love of old movies and commitment to protecting the environment put her into the “everyone else” category. It seems as if nothing could come between them until Savanna’s lies and dependence on Gracie as a false alibi start to take a toll on their relationship.