Real Boys

Rescuing Our Sons from the Myths of Boyhood

By: William Pollack

Narrated by: John McDonough

After more than two decades of research at Harvard Medical School, clinical psychologist William Pollack concludes that our sons are in trouble. In this provocative study, as he examines the causes of this crisis, Dr. Pollack offers ways we can help boys grow up into healthy adults. Just as Mary Pipher's Reviving Ophelia offers hope for troubled adolescent girls, Real Boys is an invaluable work.

An unwritten "Boy Code" perpetuates the myths that boys are driven by testosterone and other uncontrollable forces and that boys are inherently dangerous. As a result of these beliefs, boys are taught to conceal their emotions from others, keep their distance in relationships, and be tough. Dr. Pollack's book offers healthier attitudes to replace this damaging Code.

As Dr. Pollack discusses each of the myths of boyhood, he uses case studies to show how we can help boys understand and deal with such issues as anger, sexuality, peer pressure, and self-image. A New York Times best seller, Real Boys provides critical information that everyone should have.

©1998 William Pollack (P)1999 Recorded Books

Required reading

Not a parent, but was once a boy who had a bumpy but generally positive experience.

The bumpy part was trying to understand WTH adults were up to, with rigid rules, requirements and ideas about adulthood.

This book changes the focus to boys themselves, with touchingly empathetic understanding about what it means to be a boy, how boys are processing all the information, explicit and implicit, and how to communicate with boys on their own level as human beings.

The author encourages adults to put away the stern-ness, the finger wagging, the talking down to and arbitrary rules-laying. Talk with - instead of to - boys. Learn that shame is the one emotion boys will do anything to avoid - and don't weaponize it (which will never achieve the long-term goal, anyway).

Learn about working through separation anxiety empathetically rather than brutally pushing the boy into the ring.

Ditch the tropes and stereotypes about "what boys are like" and pay attention to the human being in your presence. Guide, don't push. Encourage their interests - even if they're not what you had planned for the child.

Rather than repeating all the material in the book, the main point I found was empathy, empathy, empathy to the human being in a boy's body.

Even though published more than 20 years ago, this book needs to be on top of the desk of anyone interacting with boys, especially in a guiding capacity.

The narration by John McDonough was superb.

powerful information.

As the mother of two little boys, my number one goal is making sure I raise two healthy productive kind loving men. Every book I looked at in regards to raising healthy successful sons all referenced this author. So I was glad to be able to download his book. going straight to the source for the information. This book is packed full of valuable insights information and advice and how to raise a great son.