Raising Resilient Children with a Borderline or Narcissistic Parent

By: Margalis Fjelstad, Jean McBride

Narrated by: Senn Annis

Being partnered with a narcissist or borderline personality can be hard enough, but learning how to shield children from the fallout is paramount. Here, the authors tell listeners how to manage parenting when a narcissistic or borderline partner is part of the equation.

Life in a narcissistic family system is at best challenging, and too often filled with chaos, isolation, emotional outbursts, and rigid controlling behaviors. It is too often devoid of peace and emotional safety. In the worst outcomes, children in these families grow up with low self-worth, issues with trust and belonging, and a lack of self-compassion. They are at significant risk of carrying the cycle forward and having poor adult relationships. This book offers a way to intervene and disrupt the cycle of negative outcomes for children.

Authored two family therapists who bring a combined total of 60 years of clinical practice with individuals and families, the book pulls no punches, giving clear-headed advice, easy-to-follow actions to help children, and an abundance of teaching examples. Instead of the doom and gloom scenarios often presented about life with a narcissist or borderline, this book provides a much more positive outlook, and most importantly, it offers hope and a path to an entirely different outcome for the family members.

Supported by current research in neuroscience and mindfulness, and parenting information, the book focuses on teaching resilience and self-compassion to raise emotionally healthy children, even in a narcissistic family system. It starts by helping parents get a clear understanding of what they face with a narcissistic or borderline partner. There is no room here for denial, but there are also many options to explore. It explains how and why the narcissistic family system functions so poorly for raising healthy children, and pinpoints the deficits while providing information on how to intervene more effectively for the benefit of the children.

Using their years of experience, the authors present ideas for staying together as well as knowing when to leave the relationship and how best to do that. Emphasis throughout the book is on supporting and strengthening the listener with encouragement, concrete ideas, skills, and compassionate understanding.

©2020 Margalis Fjelstad and Jean McBride (P)2020 Rowman & Littlefield

Extremely helpful for a single dad.

Extremely helpful, whether divorced or not, even for couples that just seem to struggle at times.

So helpful

Definitely a must read for parents with a significant other/spouse with BPD/NPD. Validates many thoughts and feelings and provides many helpful suggestions. Let’s you know the “model” everyone else shoves at you to do, does not fit for relationships with a BPD/NPD. But….gives hope that a relationship can continue. Also, very realistic. Doesn’t just try to make everything sound perfect or easy.

Thank you

Thank you for taking the time to create and share this book with us. This book has helped me understand so many of my experiences.

Fascinating description

This was helpful while our daughter was going through a divorce. Signs none of us had picked up on.

Helpful and frank

I found this book to be a practical guide to parenting, when the other parent has narcissistic personality disorder. This book provides real-life examples and tips that also do not minimize or sugarcoat the circumstances of such a volatile and stressful environment.

Absolute GOLD

I wish I had found this years ago! So validating, and lots of good suggestions even if the kids are older. Can I give it more stars??

Wow! Are you spying on my family?

At first I didn't know if this book would be helpful. I would highly recommend it now. I also will be listening to it again and again.

Very Informative and resourceful

Ask the ex husband of someone with borderline personality disorder Whom I share two young children with, I found this very helpful in maintaining a working relationship with her for the sake of the children. I feel as if maybe the terms; BP and NP may be triggering to some while at the same time helping the one with the disorder better understand and come to terms. So many practical and effective strategies and different ways to cope while together and apart. I will definitely be sending my ex wife a link for this audio book in hopes she will listen and implement at least some of the suggestions mentioned! overall it was a great listen! I had learned so much, thank you for taking the time to write this book!

Highly recommend!

Lots of very helpful and useful information. Validation and understanding.
Not a big fan of the narration of the audible version.

Must Read!!! For anyone in any narcissistic household!!!

If you or anyone you know is experiencing a relationship of any sort with a narcissist, please read this!!!