BuyMort: Smart Shopper: How I Became the Accidental Warlord of Arizona
Shopocalypse Saga, Book 2
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BuyMort: Smart Shopper: How I Became the Accidental Warlord of Arizona
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Narrated by:
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Wayne Mitchell
About this listen
The algorithms predicted that Nu-Earth would fall, that all Nu-Earth humans would soon be extinct.
The algorithms didn't understand Tyson Dawes.
After pacifying the old Earth underground military base and defeating the Sleem, Tyson Dawes and Silken Sands are flush with new items and morties. But the Dearth Conglomerate has been circling over them in Arizona, and they want his land.
Which wouldn't be such a problem if the boss weren't such an incompetent and spoiled child.
Bad business decisions, cronyistic impulses, and an unrelenting invisible hand continue to hem in Tyson and his Nu-Earth refugees. Allies fall, and life, already cheap, moves to the discount bin as he's forced to face the bottom line.
This story features an amalgamation of Amazon, Walmart, every service fee, sales algorithm, membership perk, advertising jingo, Microsoft mascot, and insane discount that you have ever experienced in your life coupled with the madness of the multiverse, a dash of invisible hand monopolism, feudalism, straight-up cronyism, and LOTS of profanity.
This MC is unlike others you have heard before. He cares about other humans, even his crappy boss. He doesn’t seek to be the leader—he just naturally is.
It’s him leading the desperate and hopeless against the machine.
BuyMort: Smart Shopper: How I Became the Accidental Warlord of Arizona has fantasy, violence, base-building, tons of market loot, monsters, a dungeon, affiliate and credit levels, and progression. It is single PoV and has no harem elements.
©2022 Damien Hanson and Joseph Phelps (P)2023 Podium AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 102
When the Guardians attempt to evacuate a Kree prison planet and end up in a fight for their lives - what else is new? - they discover their old pal Groot is stretched a little thin. Someone is planting stolen branches of the monosyllabic hero and selling the saplings across the galaxy! The search to find Groot's missing pieces forces the Guardians into an alliance with the unscrupulous Collector, but the real problem is more complicated than he wants them to believe.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Same old same old
- By B. Williams on 06-14-21
By: Corinne Duyvis, and others
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Return of the Dwarf King
- Adventures of Finnegan Dragonbender
- By: Charley Case, Martha Carr
- Narrated by: Austin Rising
- Length: 6 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 24
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 20
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Story5 out of 5 stars 20
Stranded and alone in Denver, Colorado, Finn and his partner Penny (a foot and a half long Faerie Dragon) search for friends and allies in this strange new land. But something about this place isn’t right. Magic has gone underground, and has anyone seen John Wayne? Lucky for Finn he’s a Dwarf, and underground is where he does his best work. Join Finn, Penny, and their new friends on an adventure that spans the globe and holds the fate of an entire planet in its twists and turns. And just maybe a tall Dwarf and a small dragon can find their place in the universe.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Awesome!
- By Wallace E Edson on 08-28-24
By: Charley Case, and others
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Overtaken Online Books 1-4
- A Dark LitRPG/LitFPS SciFi-Shooter Box Set
- By: Ben Ormstad
- Narrated by: Doug Tisdale Jr.
- Length: 56 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 278
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 258
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Story4 out of 5 stars 258
Thirty-three-year-old game designer Dex Walsh spends an entire year devoured by sorrow after the death of his wife. As a last-ditch effort to regain his joy, he sells everything and joins Overtaken Online. Expecting to spawn in a noob-friendly area with guidance from his personal assistant, he instead finds himself naked and alone in a dark prison cell rapidly filling with gas. Under-leveled and not knowing how to escape, he has no idea how far he will be able to progress as long as he pushes forward and doesn't give up.
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2 out of 5 stars
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The "hero" is a creep.
- By Barbara H. Huewitt on 09-24-22
By: Ben Ormstad
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The Hospital: The First Mountain Man Story
- By: Keith C. Blackmore
- Narrated by: R.C. Bray
- Length: 1 hr and 37 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 15,366
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 13,285
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Story4 out of 5 stars 13,328
A survivor of undead suburbia, mountain man Augustus “Gus” Berry is extremely careful when it comes to his actions and movements. He takes no chances and painstakingly weighs every decision—until he sets out for the hospital at the edge of town, hoping to discover a treasure trove of essential supplies. Soon, Gus will experience terror the likes of which he's never encountered before . . .
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5 out of 5 stars
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40 ROLLS OF ASS CLEANING GOODNESS
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 04-25-15
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Will Save the Galaxy for Food
- By: Yahtzee Croshaw
- Narrated by: Yahtzee Croshaw
- Length: 10 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 11,035
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 10,147
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 10,128
Space travel just isn't what it used to be. With the invention of quantum teleportation, space heroes aren't needed anymore. When one particularly unlucky ex-adventurer masquerades as famous pilot and hate figure Jacques McKeown, he's sucked into an ever-deepening corporate and political intrigue. Between space pirates, adorable deadly creatures, and a missing fortune in royalties, saving the universe was never this difficult!
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4 out of 5 stars
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Great
- By K. F. on 03-09-17
By: Yahtzee Croshaw
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Orion Colony
- An Intergalactic Space Opera Adventure
- By: Jonathan Yanez, J. N. Chaney
- Narrated by: Ray Porter
- Length: 6 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,505
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,380
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Story4 out of 5 stars 1,375
When half of mankind revolts and demands more opportunity, those at the top decide on a compromise: They will build the first colony ships and allow the rest to discover new worlds and start over. Twelve ships are built. The first is called the Orion. Many are eager to go, but only 100,000 are chosen for each vessel. Far from Earth, a new life awaits, and it promises the prosperity they've always wanted. But still, resistance stirs.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Poorly Conceived Pseudo Sci Fi
- By Dave on 07-21-19
By: Jonathan Yanez, and others
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Guardians of the Galaxy
- Collect Them All
- By: Corinne Duyvis, Marvel
- Narrated by: Scott McCormick, full cast
- Length: 8 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 114
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 102
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 102
When the Guardians attempt to evacuate a Kree prison planet and end up in a fight for their lives - what else is new? - they discover their old pal Groot is stretched a little thin. Someone is planting stolen branches of the monosyllabic hero and selling the saplings across the galaxy! The search to find Groot's missing pieces forces the Guardians into an alliance with the unscrupulous Collector, but the real problem is more complicated than he wants them to believe.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Same old same old
- By B. Williams on 06-14-21
By: Corinne Duyvis, and others
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Occupation
- Rise, Book 1
- By: Devon C. Ford, Nathan Hystad
- Narrated by: Ray Porter
- Length: 8 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,879
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,628
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,622
Alec works in the Detroit Overseer-factories, building a mysterious alien device. When three strangers appear, he's provided an opportunity to escape after years of servitude. Cole, a Freeborn loner, encounters Lina after her village is destroyed by the alien Occupation. Together, they make the arduous journey to a fabled safe-zone, trying to stay one step ahead of the enemy drones on their trail. Dex is a Hunter, working for the Occupation to track down escaped factory slaves, or Roamers, at all costs. But his latest hunt uncovers a massive secret.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Exceptional Character Driven Alien Invasion Story!
- By Jas P on 05-24-20
By: Devon C. Ford, and others
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The Wastes of Keldora
- Factory of the Gods, Book 1
- By: Alex Raizman
- Narrated by: Christopher James Mayer
- Length: 8 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 88
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 79
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 78
Summoned to another world where gods and monsters roam, Julian continues his streak of bad luck. Rather than touching the Godcore directly, he let his smartphone absorb it. Now, he's got to figure out how to make the Godcore and his phone work together to help the people who summoned him survive their upcoming annihilation by the mad God of Chains.
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3 out of 5 stars
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New beginnings. Same people.
- By GrimReaperD13 on 08-14-21
By: Alex Raizman
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Resurrection of the Damned
- War of the Damned, Book 1
- By: Michael Todd, Michael Anderle, Laurie Starkey
- Narrated by: Emily Beresford
- Length: 5 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 37
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 34
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 33
In a world invaded by demons, it's up to Katie and her Killers to restore order while also evading enemies - and friends - who want her in the worst way.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Totally Spoiled Storyline
- By Linda Luella on 01-03-20
By: Michael Todd, and others
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Battle Miner
- By: Kirk Mason
- Narrated by: Melanie Hastings
- Length: 9 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 75
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 59
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 59
When I got the letter, I couldn't believe it. When I drove down the highway, I still couldn't believe it. And when I got there? I finally realized I had a purpose: breaking rocks with my crazy new roommates.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Great start
- By Austin Verm on 03-21-23
By: Kirk Mason
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Inception
- A Near Future Thriller
- By: Jonathan Yanez
- Narrated by: Jay Snyder
- Length: 49 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 452
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 398
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 397
My history is unknown. My present is violent. My future may be more dangerous still. I use my unique skillset in one of the Moon’s many watering holes. Here, miners can spend their hard-earned money to forget that they’re not among the wealthy elite in the paradise colony on Mars. When a known crime boss walks in, events will begin to unfold hinting at a dark past and an even murkier future.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Hunh?
- By Linda Luella on 11-08-19
By: Jonathan Yanez
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First Encounter
- Ascension Wars, Book 1
- By: Jasper T. Scott
- Narrated by: Ben Jaeger-Thomas
- Length: 8 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 588
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 528
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 525
The United Nations of Earth sent out the Forerunner ships to explore and colonize the four most promising star systems within 50 light-years of Earth. Forerunner One left Earth under the command of Captain Clayton Cross, heading for Trappist-1. After a ninety year journey to reach it, the crew encountered not only a habitable world, but alien life already inhabiting it, and dark secrets lurking beneath the surface. The revelation of who these aliens are and what they want proves more terrifying than promising, and Captain Cross is forced to make tough decisions that will affect not only his crew, but the fate of the entire human race.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Good Story and Concept; Narrator mispronouncing
- By Vance F. on 02-18-20
By: Jasper T. Scott
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The Queen's Road
- By: R. S. Belcher
- Narrated by: Kaleo Griffith
- Length: 10 hrs and 20 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 522
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 457
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 455
Ramon “Ray” Cosa’s life is not what he expected it to be. Living in a small Texas town ravaged by Hurricane Harvey, Ray has suffered many losses in his young life, and he has little hope left that anything will ever change or get better. That is, until the vintage Ford Galaxie and its strange, dying owner enters Ray’s life. Given a jeweled ring he cannot remove and a desperate mission, Ray is plunged into a universe of secrets, wonders, and terrors he never dreamed exists. Now, he travels the Queen's Road - a hyper-space highway that connects all the planets in creation.
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5 out of 5 stars
-
Hopefully the start of a new series.
- By Alex Sumner on 01-26-20
By: R. S. Belcher
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So Not a Hero
- By: S. J. Delos
- Narrated by: Angela Brazil
- Length: 11 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 508
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 461
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 461
After serving two years in a federal prison, Karen Hashimoto is out on parole and eager to put her criminal past behind her. No easy task, since she's also the former supervillain known as Crushette. A chance encounter leads to an unexpected opportunity, and she is recruited as the newest member of the city's premier team of superheroes: The Good Guys.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Graphic Suprrhero Sex
- By The Blue Canary on 05-17-16
By: S. J. Delos
-
Federal Histories Bundle, Books 1-3
- By: Michael Anderle
- Narrated by: Jesse Vilinsky
- Length: 68 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 23
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 19
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 19
The future has amazing technology. Our alien allies have magic. Together, we are building a training system to teach the best of humanity to go to the stars. But the training is monumentally expensive. Stephanie Morgana is a genius, she just doesn't know it. Join her on the first half of her adventure with this collected edition, including the first three megabooks in the Federal Histories series.
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1 out of 5 stars
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I see why this series/book has low sales.
- By Rondell on 02-09-24
By: Michael Anderle
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Tesser: A Dragon Among Us
- A Reemergence Novel, Book 1
- By: Chris Philbrook
- Narrated by: James Foster
- Length: 12 hrs
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 3,065
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 2,815
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 2,814
Tesser, the dragon of life itself, is one of seven: Earth’s primordial draconic guardians, destined to oversee its development and safety. Species rose and fell, and 10,000 years ago...Tesser disappeared. The golden dragon woke up this morning, buried deep beneath the city of Boston, with no idea how he got there, and no idea how humanity grew so fast and learned so much while he was away. He is lost, a fish out of water. Where is the magic? He’s got a lot of catching up to do if he’s going to find his missing sister and stop an incursion of daemons from beyond the Veil.
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3 out of 5 stars
-
I dont think the author has ever actually communicated with another human being.
- By Konrad on 04-11-16
By: Chris Philbrook
-
Resonant Son
- Resonant Son, Book 1
- By: Christopher Hopper, J. N. Chaney
- Narrated by: Mark Boyett
- Length: 9 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 349
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 325
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 322
After losing his job and family, Flint Reed finds himself in the middle of a terrorist attack. With nothing but his wits and experience as a former Union police officer, he must do everything he can to stay alive. As he soon discovers, however, there are also hostages, and no one is coming to save them. All hope falls to Flint. But as he fights to navigate the building, the real answers begin to unravel. What are the terrorists really after, and why are they so intent on getting into the vault?
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5 out of 5 stars
-
Die Hard in the Renegade Universe!
- By MLT78 on 02-18-20
By: Christopher Hopper, and others
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No Planet for Good Men: A Sheriff Duke Story
- Forgotten Fallout, Book 1
- By: M.R. Forbes
- Narrated by: Jonathan Davis
- Length: 9 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 195
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 165
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 165
Earth. After the invasion. The planet is in ruins. Humankind struggles to survive. Hayden is a Sheriff in a world without law. A good man in a world gone bad. He knows the fallout of an alien attack when he sees it. He's never seen anything like this before. Isaac is a Marine in a world without order. A good man with troubles of his own. His mission was to protect the innocent, including his son. Instead, he's the only survivor.
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4 out of 5 stars
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A Sheriff in Battle Armor
- By Sailfish on 11-04-19
By: M.R. Forbes