BuyMort: Rise of the Window Puncher: How I Became the Accidental Warlord of Arizona
Shopocalypse Saga, Book 3
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BuyMort: Rise of the Window Puncher: How I Became the Accidental Warlord of Arizona
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Narrated by:
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Wayne Mitchell
About this listen
A leader dead. A complicated relationship lost. And a conglomerate angered...
After unwittingly becoming the CEO of the growing Silken Sands Affiliate, Tyson finds himself in an increasingly dangerous Arizonan desert, the protector of a growing community of Nu-Earth humans faced with the very real possibility of total corporate annihilation.
Dearth wants their land, and they will not take no for an answer. But behind Tyson stand a growing band of capable administrators and heroes, and a community of people who believe in him. He is their leader. They trust in him, even if he doesn't trust in himself.
Powerful multiversal forces are at play. Market upsets, brilliant purchases, and the invisible hand slide, slap, and strangle as the campaign for Arizona state rages, and Silken Sands digs in for a decisive battle.
This story features an amalgamation of Amazon, Walmart, every service fee, sales algorithm, membership perk, advertising jingo, Microsoft mascot, and insane discount that you have ever experienced in your life coupled with the madness of the multiverse, a dash of invisible hand monopolism, feudalism, straight-up cronyism, and LOTS of profanity. There is fantasy violence, base-building, tons of market loot, monsters, a dungeon, affiliate and credit levels, and progression.
BuyMort: Rise of the Window Puncher completes the How I Became the Accidental Warlord of Arizona story arc, but the Shopocalypse Saga will continue.
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George Orwell’s 1984
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- By: George Orwell, Joe White - adaptation
- Narrated by: Andrew Garfield, Cynthia Erivo, Andrew Scott, and others
- Length: 3 hrs and 27 mins
- Original Recording
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 8,058
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 7,670
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 7,669
It’s 1984, and life has changed beyond recognition. Airstrip One, formerly known as Great Britain, is a place where Big Brother is always watching, and nobody can hide. Except, perhaps, for Winston Smith. Whilst working at the Ministry of Truth, rewriting history, he secretly dreams of freedom. And in a world where love and sex are forbidden, where it’s hard to distinguish between friend and foe, he meets Julia and O’Brien and vows to rebel.
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5 out of 5 stars
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A Revelation!
- By wotsallthisthen on 04-07-24
By: George Orwell, and others
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Starter Villain
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: Wil Wheaton
- Length: 8 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 10,431
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 9,272
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 9,266
Inheriting your uncle's supervillain business is more complicated than you might think. Particularly when you discover who's running the place. Charlie's life is going nowhere fast. A divorced substitute teacher living with his cat in a house his siblings want to sell, all he wants is to open a pub downtown, if only the bank will approve his loan. Then his long-lost uncle Jake dies and leaves his supervillain business (complete with island volcano lair) to Charlie. But becoming a supervillain isn't all giant laser death rays and lava pits.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Volcanic Lairs, Death Rays & Cats… Oh My! 😼
- By C. White on 09-19-23
By: John Scalzi
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The Martian
- By: Andy Weir
- Narrated by: Wil Wheaton
- Length: 10 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 37,665
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 33,520
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Story5 out of 5 stars 33,416
Six days ago, astronaut Mark Watney became one of the first people to walk on Mars. Now, he's sure he'll be the first person to die there. After a dust storm nearly kills him and forces his crew to evacuate while thinking him dead, Mark finds himself stranded and completely alone with no way to even signal Earth that he’s alive - and even if he could get word out, his supplies would be gone long before a rescue could arrive. But Mark isn't ready to give up yet.
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1 out of 5 stars
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I love Wil Wheaton but why not R. C. Bray?
- By L. Newman on 01-11-20
By: Andy Weir
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Artemis
- By: Andy Weir
- Narrated by: Rosario Dawson
- Length: 8 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 94,510
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 86,517
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Story4 out of 5 stars 86,315
Jazz Bashara is a criminal. Well, sort of. Life on Artemis, the first and only city on the moon, is tough if you're not a rich tourist or an eccentric billionaire. So smuggling in the occasional harmless bit of contraband barely counts, right? Not when you've got debts to pay and your job as a porter barely covers the rent. Everything changes when Jazz sees the chance to commit the perfect crime, with a reward too lucrative to turn down.
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3 out of 5 stars
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A ferrari with no motor
- By will on 11-18-17
By: Andy Weir
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Temporal
- By: Julian Simpson, Richard MacLean Smith, Bec Boey, and others
- Narrated by: Nicola Walker, Sanjeev Bhaskar, Jessie Mei Li, and others
- Length: 4 hrs and 26 mins
- Original Recording
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 2,029
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,979
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Story4 out of 5 stars 1,980
In the not-too-distant future, a 21-member crew launches from Earth. Their mission: to establish a temporary colony on Mars. Little do they know that colony will become permanent–and the last stand of the human race. Because, without warning, every single person left on Earth simply...vanishes. Now, a thousand years later, the resources needed to sustain life are running out, and the very existence of the Mars colony is threatened. Humankind has only one option–to return to its home planet.
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3 out of 5 stars
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It was ok.
- By Cregg Terasa on 08-06-24
By: Julian Simpson, and others
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BuyMort: Grand Opening: How I Became the Accidental Warlord of Arizona
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- By: Damien Hanson, Joseph Phelps
- Narrated by: Wayne Mitchell
- Length: 16 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 446
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After the arrival of the multiversal monopoly BuyMort, life got brutal. All systems were through BuyMort. All currency was through BuyMort. All sales were through BuyMort. You could resist, you could compete, but it didn’t really matter because in the end you used BuyMort—or you perished. BuyMort be praised. But not everyone’s happy with the new system. Some, even, want to see it destroyed. It’s quick. It’s convenient. And it will help people kill you and your family as readily as it will help them sell you knickknacks for a quick mortie.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Funny
- By Mandymomof3boyz on 05-20-23
By: Damien Hanson, and others
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12 Miles Below
- A Progression Fantasy Epic
- By: Mark Arrows
- Narrated by: Scott Aiello
- Length: 14 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 262
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 200
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 200
Extreme sub-zero temperatures suffocate the surface. Frozen structures of bygone eras span across massive ice-wastes. And the survivors closely guard any technology rediscovered within them. The only escape from the deadly climate is beneath the surface, but that doesn't mean it's safe... Monstrous machines lurk in the depths. Unhinged demigods war against them, dying over and over, treating it all like a game. The depths themselves shift over time, more contraption than rock.
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4 out of 5 stars
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!!Definitely NOT Litrpg!!
- By Kindle Customer on 10-31-23
By: Mark Arrows
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All the Dust That Falls
- An Isekai LitRPG Adventure
- By: zaifyr
- Narrated by: Phil Thron
- Length: 20 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 303
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 244
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 244
Spot was summoned from his comfortable charging pad and familiar floors to a world of magic and intrigue. But after the flight of his new patrons, he is left alone to care for a filthy castle. During his quest to keep this new home clean, Spot will face demons, foreign armies, and his arch nemesis, the dreaded stairs. All those who stand before him will be swept away. Those who follow his spotless trail will find enlightenment, purity, and a world on its knees.
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5 out of 5 stars
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A rare 5 star from me. looking forward to the next
- By Nathan Allen on 12-27-23
By: zaifyr
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Enter System
- Natural Laws Apocalypse Series, Book 1
- By: Tom Larcombe
- Narrated by: Derek Shoales
- Length: 12 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 778
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 698
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 697
Marc's home from college on break, spending his time laughing about some of the crazy news stories he's found online, and gaming. When a message appears in his line of sight, blocking out absolutely everything else, he nearly freaks out. The message warns that the world has been in a variant Natural Laws beta test for millennia and that it's about to revert to the norms.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Awkward. Painful. A choir.
- By Joseph on 02-10-22
By: Tom Larcombe
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Beware of Chicken: A Xianxia Cultivation Novel
- Book 1
- By: Casualfarmer
- Narrated by: Travis Baldree
- Length: 12 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 6,430
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 5,625
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Story5 out of 5 stars 5,614
Jin Rou wanted to be a cultivator. A man powerful enough to defy the heavens. A master of martial arts. A lord of spiritual power. Unfortunately for him, he died, and now I’m stuck in his body. Arrogant Masters? Heavenly Tribulations? All that violence and bloodshed? Yeah, no thanks. I’m getting out of here. Farm life sounds pretty great. Tilling a field by hand is fun when you’ve got the strength of ten men—though maybe I shouldn’t have fed those Spirit Herbs to my pet rooster.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Fun
- By Julie on 05-26-22
By: Casualfarmer
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Induction
- Welcome to the Multiverse, Book 1
- By: Sean Oswald
- Narrated by: Travis Baldree
- Length: 12 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,683
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 1,491
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,491
Silas is inducted into the System, becoming the last in a long line of Earth's "forerunners." The rewards are great, but the danger is greater. We are not alone in the universe. The fate of five worlds hangs on how their forerunners perform. Will Silas have what it takes to win Earth a place in the multiverse? Or will Earth become another mining world stripped of all resources and left a barren husk floating in the cosmos?
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3 out of 5 stars
-
the main characters annoying to a degree
- By Anonymous User on 11-08-23
By: Sean Oswald
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BuyMort: Grand Opening: How I Became the Accidental Warlord of Arizona
- Shopocalypse Saga, Book 1
- By: Damien Hanson, Joseph Phelps
- Narrated by: Wayne Mitchell
- Length: 16 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 446
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 330
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 330
After the arrival of the multiversal monopoly BuyMort, life got brutal. All systems were through BuyMort. All currency was through BuyMort. All sales were through BuyMort. You could resist, you could compete, but it didn’t really matter because in the end you used BuyMort—or you perished. BuyMort be praised. But not everyone’s happy with the new system. Some, even, want to see it destroyed. It’s quick. It’s convenient. And it will help people kill you and your family as readily as it will help them sell you knickknacks for a quick mortie.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Funny
- By Mandymomof3boyz on 05-20-23
By: Damien Hanson, and others
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12 Miles Below
- A Progression Fantasy Epic
- By: Mark Arrows
- Narrated by: Scott Aiello
- Length: 14 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 262
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 200
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 200
Extreme sub-zero temperatures suffocate the surface. Frozen structures of bygone eras span across massive ice-wastes. And the survivors closely guard any technology rediscovered within them. The only escape from the deadly climate is beneath the surface, but that doesn't mean it's safe... Monstrous machines lurk in the depths. Unhinged demigods war against them, dying over and over, treating it all like a game. The depths themselves shift over time, more contraption than rock.
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4 out of 5 stars
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!!Definitely NOT Litrpg!!
- By Kindle Customer on 10-31-23
By: Mark Arrows
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All the Dust That Falls
- An Isekai LitRPG Adventure
- By: zaifyr
- Narrated by: Phil Thron
- Length: 20 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 303
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 244
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 244
Spot was summoned from his comfortable charging pad and familiar floors to a world of magic and intrigue. But after the flight of his new patrons, he is left alone to care for a filthy castle. During his quest to keep this new home clean, Spot will face demons, foreign armies, and his arch nemesis, the dreaded stairs. All those who stand before him will be swept away. Those who follow his spotless trail will find enlightenment, purity, and a world on its knees.
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5 out of 5 stars
-
A rare 5 star from me. looking forward to the next
- By Nathan Allen on 12-27-23
By: zaifyr
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Enter System
- Natural Laws Apocalypse Series, Book 1
- By: Tom Larcombe
- Narrated by: Derek Shoales
- Length: 12 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 778
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 698
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 697
Marc's home from college on break, spending his time laughing about some of the crazy news stories he's found online, and gaming. When a message appears in his line of sight, blocking out absolutely everything else, he nearly freaks out. The message warns that the world has been in a variant Natural Laws beta test for millennia and that it's about to revert to the norms.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Awkward. Painful. A choir.
- By Joseph on 02-10-22
By: Tom Larcombe
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Beware of Chicken: A Xianxia Cultivation Novel
- Book 1
- By: Casualfarmer
- Narrated by: Travis Baldree
- Length: 12 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 6,430
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 5,625
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Story5 out of 5 stars 5,614
Jin Rou wanted to be a cultivator. A man powerful enough to defy the heavens. A master of martial arts. A lord of spiritual power. Unfortunately for him, he died, and now I’m stuck in his body. Arrogant Masters? Heavenly Tribulations? All that violence and bloodshed? Yeah, no thanks. I’m getting out of here. Farm life sounds pretty great. Tilling a field by hand is fun when you’ve got the strength of ten men—though maybe I shouldn’t have fed those Spirit Herbs to my pet rooster.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Fun
- By Julie on 05-26-22
By: Casualfarmer
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Induction
- Welcome to the Multiverse, Book 1
- By: Sean Oswald
- Narrated by: Travis Baldree
- Length: 12 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,683
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 1,491
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,491
Silas is inducted into the System, becoming the last in a long line of Earth's "forerunners." The rewards are great, but the danger is greater. We are not alone in the universe. The fate of five worlds hangs on how their forerunners perform. Will Silas have what it takes to win Earth a place in the multiverse? Or will Earth become another mining world stripped of all resources and left a barren husk floating in the cosmos?
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3 out of 5 stars
-
the main characters annoying to a degree
- By Anonymous User on 11-08-23
By: Sean Oswald
What listeners say about BuyMort: Rise of the Window Puncher: How I Became the Accidental Warlord of Arizona
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- casey bumgarner
- 01-05-24
doof
Great take on post apocalypse life. Plenty of humor light and heavy. The world building is on point.
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2 people found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- ApprenticeCook
- 07-23-24
Great battles
The author and the narrator do an excellent job pulling you into each scene. You feel like you're actually going through the moment with Tyson.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Amazon Customer
- 09-29-23
morb
God It is just morbin 10/10 would morb it again morb morb morb morb
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2 people found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Jed Gray
- 11-08-23
Original
A sort of lit RPG I’ve never heard before excellent story, excellent narration, and it keeps you on the edge of your seat. It’s been quite a while since I had a new series keep me this interested very well done!
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Oliver
- 09-27-23
Very engaging.
The story's pacing remains strong, though slightly slower than the first two. However, the change of pace is welcome because the extra time is spent planting the seeds of important character developments. The writing remains excellent. Clear dialog. Intense and evocative action. Well aportioned slice-of-life scenes.
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- L. Lipp
- 07-24-24
A page turner!
Same literary quality as the books before, now the narration has improved and we can understand what the hobs say!
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Margrett Irish
- 10-02-23
Just awesome
I'm loving these books and the stories is so engaging, it moves fast, is action packed and the imagination of some of the creatures and tech is fantastic. I wanted to take my time listening to this one who knows if another one will come out soon but it's so addicting I finished it in two days.
These three together the authors and narrator are my new favorites for sure.
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Philip
- 11-02-23
I hope this story never ends
Best story best narrator buymort buymort buymort buymort buymort. Not sure if it could be a good movie tho
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Jarred Scoopie Allen
- 09-27-23
one heck of a ride
from start to finish this book keeps pumping out the goods every goods book needs
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- Amazon Customer
- 06-16-24
Great addition to the series.
Rise of the Windowpuncher did not disappoint. Strong character building and a peek at the larger world of the series make this a strong addition for any action and sci-fi fan.
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