Attached
The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find—and Keep—Love
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Narrated by:
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Robert Petkoff
About this listen
"A groundbreaking book that redefines what it means to be in a relationship." (John Gray, PhD., best-selling author of Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus)
We already rely on science to tell us what to eat, when to exercise, and how long to sleep. Why not use science to help us improve our relationships? In this revolutionary book, psychiatrist and neuroscientist Dr. Amir Levine and Rachel Heller scientifically explain why some people seem to navigate relationships effortlessly, while others struggle.
Discover how an understanding of adult attachment—the most advanced relationship science in existence today—can help us find and sustain love. Pioneered by psychologist John Bowlby in the 1950s, the field of attachment posits that each of us behaves in relationships in one of three distinct ways:
- Anxious people are often preoccupied with their relationships and tend to worry about their partner's ability to love them back
- Avoidant people equate intimacy with a loss of independence and constantly try to minimize closeness.
- Secure people feel comfortable with intimacy and are usually warm and loving.
Attached guides listeners in determining what attachment style they and their mate (or potential mate) follow, offering a road map for building stronger, more fulfilling connections with the people they love.
*Includes a PDF of the attachment style questionnaire
PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.
©2010 Amir Levine and Rachel Heller (P)2019 Penguin AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
"A groundbreaking book that redefines what it means to be in a relationship." (John Gray, PhD., best-selling author of Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus)
"Amir Levine and Rachel Heller have written a very smart book: It is clear, easy to read, and insightful. It's a valuable tool whether you are just entering a relationship with a new partner or—as in my case—even after you've been married 21 years, and had thought you knew everything about your spouse." (Mariette DiChristina, editor in chief, Scientific American)
"Attached is a fascinating and enormously useful guide to one of life's most important ventures—finding and sustaining a secure, satisfying love relationship. Based on 25 years of research, laced with vivid and instructive examples, and enriched with interesting and well-designed exercises, the book provides deep insights and invaluable skills that will benefit every reader." (Phillip R. Shaver, PhD, Distinguished Professor of Psychology, University of California, Davis and Past President, International Association for Relationship Research)
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The Breakup Bible
- The Smart Woman's Guide to Healing from a Breakup or Divorce
- By: Rachel Sussman
- Narrated by: Susan Boyce
- Length: 12 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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Psychotherapist and breakup expert Rachel A. Sussman, LCSW, reveals the secrets every woman needs to get her life back on track. Drawing on hundreds of counseling sessions she's conducted with women at all stages of recovery, Sussman developed a proven three-phase process for healing from a breakup.
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lifesaver!
- By Dawson on 11-30-17
By: Rachel Sussman
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I Want This to Work
- An Inclusive Guide to Navigating the Most Difficult Relationship Issues We Face in the Modern Age
- By: Elizabeth Earnshaw LMFT CGT
- Narrated by: Elizabeth Earnshaw LMFT CGT
- Length: 9 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Elizabeth Earnshaw is here to help. The renowned Gottman therapist, founder of A Better Life Therapy, and influential Instagram therapist behind @lizlistens has helped to transform countless relationships. With I Want This to Work, she presents for today’s generation the most effective and proven steps for relationship success.
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I want this to work too. Excellent information, excruciating execution
- By Sunny Bettley on 03-17-23
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When Friendship Hurts
- How to Deal with Friends Who Betray, Abandon, or Wound You
- By: Jan Yager Ph.D.
- Narrated by: Tanya Eby
- Length: 7 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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We’ve all had friendships that have gone bad. Whether it takes the form of a simple yet inexplicable estrangement or a devastating betrayal, a failed friendship can make your life miserable, threaten your success at work or school, and even undermine your romantic relationships. Finally there is help. In When Friendship Hurts, Jan Yager, recognized internationally as a leading expert on friendship, explores what causes friendships to falter and explains how to mend them - or end them.
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Boring and patronizing
- By KDS on 11-17-22
By: Jan Yager Ph.D.
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Relationship Breakthrough
- How to Create Outstanding Relationships in Every Area of Your Life
- By: Cloe Madanes, Anthony Robbins
- Narrated by: Aimee Jolson
- Length: 6 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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Everyone faces the challenges of making relationships work. Whether with spouses, family members, friends, lovers, or colleagues, relationships have the power to make one feel happy, frustrated, or miserable. In Relationship Breakthrough, Cloe Madanes - an expert in creating healing, empowering relationships - gives listeners vital tools to transform their relationships and their lives. Madanes's cutting-edge methods produce real results and create rewarding, sustainable relationships.
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Disappointed
- By Dee on 01-10-16
By: Cloe Madanes, and others
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Rethinking Narcissism
- The Bad - and Surprising Good - About Feeling Special
- By: Dr. Craig Malkin
- Narrated by: Kiff VandenHeuvel
- Length: 6 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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In Rethinking Narcissism listeners will learn that there's far more to narcissism than its reductive invective would imply. The truth is that narcissists (all of us) fall on a spectrum somewhere between utter selflessness on the one side and arrogance and grandiosity on the other. A healthy middle exhibits a strong sense of self.
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Great info, but proceed with caution
- By Caterina M. Platt on 11-16-17
By: Dr. Craig Malkin
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Living with the Passive-Aggressive Man
- Coping with Hidden Aggression - From the Bedroom to the Boardroom
- By: Scott Wetzler Ph.D.
- Narrated by: Matthew Josdal
- Length: 6 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Do you know one of these men? The catch-me-if-you-can lover...Phil's romantic and passionate one minute, distant and cold the next. The deviously manipulative coworker or boss...Jack denies resenting Nora's rapid rise in the company, but when they're assigned to work together on a project, he undermines her. The obstructionist, procrastinating husband...Bob keeps telling his wife he'll finish the painting job he began years ago, but he never seems to get around to it. These are all classic examples of the passive aggressive man.
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A good review of the PA type man
- By Dew on 12-29-17
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Why Mars and Venus Collide
- Understanding How Men and Women Cope Differently with Stress
- By: John Gray
- Narrated by: John Gray
- Length: 6 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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Once upon a time, Martians and Venusians functioned in separate worlds. But in today's hectic and career-oriented environment, relationships have become a lot more complicated, and men and women are experiencing unprecedented levels of stress. To add to the increasing tension, most men and women are also completely unaware that they are actually hardwired to react differently to the stress.
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Very insightful & evokative for introspection
- By Amazon Customer on 02-04-12
By: John Gray
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Frientimacy
- How to Deepen Friendships for Lifelong Health and Happiness
- By: Shasta Nelson
- Narrated by: Robin Eller
- Length: 8 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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In Frientimacy, award-winning speaker Shasta Nelson shows how anyone can form stronger, more meaningful friendships, marked by a level of trust she calls "frientimacy". Shasta explores the most common complaints and conflicts facing female friendships today, and lays out strategies for overcoming these pitfalls to create deeper, supportive relationships that last for the long-term.
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I didn't finish it, but I still recommend it
- By Emily on 10-21-17
By: Shasta Nelson
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The Happy Stepmother
- By: Rachelle Katz
- Narrated by: Gayle Hendrix
- Length: 8 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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You found the love of your life, and you vowed to have, to hold, and to stepmother. You always thought that in time you'd grow to be the perfect, loving family. So why does it seem that the harder you try, the more unappreciated you feel? As a stepmother, therapist, and founder of the popular stepsforstepmothers.com, Dr. Rachelle Katz knows all too well how challenging stepmotherhood can be. Based on thousands of in-depth interviews and the latest research, she's created a powerful program to help you.
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horrible
- By Marcia R on 02-07-17
By: Rachelle Katz
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Loving People
- How to Love and Be Loved
- By: John Townsend
- Narrated by: Matthew Josdal
- Length: 7 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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Best-selling author Dr. John Townsend teaches you that love can actually be learned and gives you the steps and tools to become skilled in love. Using his trademark stories to flesh out the important principles, Dr. Townsend covers receiving love, connecting love, healing love, confronting love, romantic love, and surrendering love. Through his teaching, listeners will discover - and start enjoying - the words, actions, and experiences of authentic love.
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Very insightful
- By Amazon Customer on 05-17-19
By: John Townsend
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30 Lessons for Loving
- Advice from the Wisest Americans on Love, Relationships, and Marriage
- By: Karl Pillemer Ph.D.
- Narrated by: Sean Pratt
- Length: 8 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Based on the most detailed survey of long married people ever conducted, 30 Lessons for Loving shows the way to lifelong, fulfilling relationships. The author, an internationally renowned gerontologist at Cornell University, offers sage advice from the oldest and wisest Americans on everything from finding a partner, to deciding to commit, to growing old together.
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Our Elders Really are the Experts!
- By Cher Finnan on 12-29-15
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We Love Each Other, But . . .
- Simple Secrets to Strengthen Your Relationship and Make Love Last
- By: Ellen Wachtel
- Narrated by: Joyce Bean
- Length: 6 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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We Love Each Other, But... offers simple, practical tips that will help you restore and strengthen a relationship that has gone off track. It lays out the nuts and bolts of building relationships so they continue to be gratifying over the long haul. Dr. Ellen Wachtel shows how, even when you feel like giving up on a relationship or marriage, you can recapture why you fell in love in the first place. Dr. Wachtel promises that there is more and suggests simple ways to keep vitality in relationships.
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Some interesting material
- By Scott on 10-25-12
By: Ellen Wachtel
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What does a healthy relationship look like? A good question, in theory, but couple’s therapist Julie Menanno wants you to consider: what does a securely attached relationship feel like? The answer to this question is the ultimate goal in Secure Love, an “incredibly wise and helpful guide” (Jen Sincero, New York Times bestselling author of You Are a Badass) to understanding secure attachment in adult relationships.
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Best book on relationships I have ever read.
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Overthinking is when your brain just won’t switch off. It feels like it’s stuck going around and around on the same loop as a hamster stuck on a wheel. But while the hamster is having fun and getting fit, you’re feeling lower and lower and burning out.
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Hits home
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I waited more than 30 years for this book.
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In order to improve closeness and intimacy in all relationships, it is important to first understand the clear parallels between adult behavior and childhood experiences. Attachment Theory combines traditional teachings with knowledge of subconscious patterns to provide powerful tools for powerful change.
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Narrator talked at you
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"Most people think of love as a feeling," says David Richo, "but love is not so much a feeling as a way of being present." In this audiobook, Richo offers a fresh perspective on love and relationships - one that focuses not on finding an ideal mate, but on becoming a more loving and realistic person. Drawing on the Buddhist concept of mindfulness, How to Be an Adult in Relationships explores five hallmarks of mindful loving and how they play a key role in our relationships throughout life.
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Missing text
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No matter how much advice we get or how much work we do on our “stuff,” nothing ever seems to make the difference. The truth of it is, you’re woefully ill-equipped for one of the most life-defining things you will ever take on—being in a committed relationship. Whether you’re currently in one, want to be in one, half in–half out, getting over one, married, single, separated, divorced, or just overwhelmed with the whole thing, let’s cut through the morass of relationship schtick and put you back in charge.
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A candid kick in the a$$ about your relationships
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Audio quality is lacking:(
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The Body Keeps the Score
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Overall Worthwhile, Lingers Too Long in the Why
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The New York Times best-selling guide to transforming an intimate relationship into a lasting source of love and companionship, now fully revised with a new foreword and a brand-new chapter.
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Terrible narration
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The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts
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Dr. Gary Chapman identifies five basic languages of love and then guides couples towards a better understanding of their unique languages of love. Learn to speak and understand your mate's love language, and in no time you will be able to effectively love and truly feel loved in return. Skillful communication is within your grasp!
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Unexpected Brilliance
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The Power of Attachment
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From our earliest years, we develop an attachment style that follows us through life, replaying in our daily emotional landscape, our relationships, and how we feel about ourselves. And in the wake of a traumatic event - such as a car accident, severe illness, loss of a loved one, or experience of abuse - that attachment style can deeply influence what happens next.
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I now know more about attachment in relationships
- By Bao on 03-03-21
By: Diane Poole Heller PhD, and others
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Anxious Attachment Recovery
- Go from Being Clingy to Confident & Secure in Your Relationships (Break Free and Recover from Unhealthy Relationships)
- By: Linda Hill
- Narrated by: Alene Sorensen
- Length: 4 hrs and 2 mins
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Moths that get too close to the light burn their wings. Men and women who become too attached to their partners tear their relationships apart. Your relationship doesn't have to end in heartache like so many others.
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Healing Anxious Attachment
- By Jamie Bee on 08-25-23
By: Linda Hill
What listeners say about Attached
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Tammy
- 09-12-21
Well worth the listen. Definitely Recommend it.
There is so much you can learn from this audio book. So to learn about yourself and the way you relate to your partner, your children, your peers, your family and anyone you have a relationship with. That said, the focus is on couples relationships. I liked most of this audiobook, and wholeheartedly recommend this listen (or read if you have the print). The only thing I didn’t agree with was the part where they mention if you are one attachment type, say anxious and your partner is avoidant type, that you two are incompatible (specifically during dating). However, they do mention something critical about the main body of research, and it is that attachment styles are not permanent. People who want to change their patterns and behaviors can do so by learning and applying what they learned and by applying secure style behaviors vigilantly. Thereby, their attachment style remains dynamic. You can start out as anxious and move into secure. You can also move from secure to avoidant. It all depends on the partner and what attachment style they are exhibiting and whether or not the partner desires to change their own patterns and behaviors for the betterment of the relationship.
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4 people found this helpful
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- JCB
- 01-04-21
Everyone Needs to Read this Book
This book is extremely enlightening, well-written, and thorough. It explains why people tend to repeat the same patterns in relationships and explains techniques for healthy attachment and intimacy. Everyone should read it.
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2 people found this helpful
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Overall
- Amazon Customer
- 01-10-21
securely anxious
very interesting. It is nice to finally be able to name and understand better who I am.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Lio Bee
- 11-03-21
HOLY COW
This needs to be required to be part of curriculum in high school all four years!
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1 person found this helpful
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- Marie Adair
- 05-13-20
Brilliant absolutely everything I needed to hear
This book was brilliant. I want to send it to everyone I know! I have such a deeper understanding of myself and others now. These tools are invaluable
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- becka jay
- 02-23-21
Great read!
As far as the assessments, you can take them online or print the PDF to manually take them.
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- @SleepingBeautyBlogs
- 02-24-21
So Helpful!
I loved this book! I finished it in the course of a school day and was pleasantly surprised at the accuracy and helpful information provided. It just explains so much!
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- Lisa
- 08-13-21
Self Reflective
I truly enjoyed the importance of getting to know yourself throughout the book. I was able to sell for flecked and realized my attachment style and how it played out in my marriage which ended in divorce. I beat myself up thinking that there was something wrong with me. However, after listening to this book I was able to self reflect and give myself grace because I understood my attachment style and can now knowingly move forward.
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- melisa
- 10-22-20
Easy to listen
I loved it this is my favorite book so far. I couldn’t stop listening to it. It made so much sense regarding relationships that I have been in.
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- Florina-Maria
- 06-04-20
Great read! I recommended it to all of my friends!
There is so much to learn from this book! All my friends who have started to read it, love it as well. A real treasure with valuable insight.
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