Zuvok

Brides to Beasts, Book 1

By: Athena Storm

Narrated by: Tristan James, Meghan Kelly

I am Zuvok the Terror. Feared soldier of the Trident Alliance. And I will not do housework!

I relish the fury of combat. I love the adrenaline as I kill my enemies. Blood drips from my hands. Until I go too far.

So my commanders send me a foe that I never expected: my bride. A comely, curvy, human woman. A princess. She must be insane. She has to be if she agreed to be my mail-order bride.

But I don't want a bride. Zuvok the Terror will not be tamed. He will not be civilized! He will not hang balloon valances on windows with pastel-hued drapes. He will not dry dishes as she washes them! He will not sweep before he mops the floors!

But then, this tiny human woman does something more powerful than a killing blow from an Odex wielding a power-blade. She gets on her tip toes and wraps her arms around me, squeezing herself to me. She coos. And giggles. And kisses me on my nose. And my heart melts for her.

Zuvok the Terror? More like Zuvok the Terrier. Damn humans.

Contains mature themes.

©2020 Athena Storm (P)2020 Tantor

So bad it's good

The entire story sounds like it is read in the voices of Leela and Zapp Brannigan from Futurama. I could not stop listening.

fast pace plot

good verbage, and dirty talk but little plot and little real character development, very flat main characters

Hilarious and I loved it!

I'll agree with another reviewer, you are either going to love this or hate it. It is purposefully over-the-top with improbable and impossible situations; however the romance is cute, the plot is fast action, and the narrators (especially Tristan) make it laugh out loud funny! I absolutely love the corny and crude language because it just fits the characters.

My only issue is the forward chapter that does this very boring recap of the universe. It really doesn't matter because it just follows their little side of the story on one planet. Unfortunately I think when you listen to the sample this is all you get. I was able to listen to this first book because it was part of the Plus catalog. So if you can get it that way, give it a listen. I think I might have bought it anyway since it is on sale, which is what my plan is for the next book so I can laugh some more. Just go in knowing it is meant to be a silly romp.

It's so bad but so good.

Well after seeing the reviews on how bad it was I had to see and i actually loved it. soooooo cheesy and hilarious. I don't think it was meant to be a serious Romance to begin with. But It really made me laugh and go I wish....
you either love it or you don't. I loved it and looking forward to more of this author.

Hilarious

I love Zuvok ❤️
His irreverent attitude makes me laugh. The story is pretty good and there are several likable characters. Unfortunately the female narrator has a weird inflection that gets irritating fast. But not a deal breaker for me cause I LOVE ZUVOK❤️

zuvok the terror

I have to say, it' s a book you love or you hate! No middleway. The beginning was adjusting to the way the book is written. The first 3 chapters you need to let loose the way a lot of books are written. This one has a lot of Ironie and the way the princess is made alife by the narrator is very good. So please try it. I did not receive this book for free. I bought it.
Happy reading every one, Sidhaeg

fun read

loved the characters, plenty of humor and a great heroine. store line is interesting. loved it.

Aweful

Tristan James performance is great as usual. Meghan Kelly's is horrible. I should have searched for a sample of her narration before getting this book. Her voice is unpleasantly shaky.
I had hoped the story would be cute, funny, and sexy. Not sure about the third, I stopped at chapter 8. As soon as they meet, the heroine's a raging bitch. Balloon valances? Really? Didn't that horrific style go out with hair scrunchies in the 90's? Not sure what the author was going for, it definitely wasn't endearing the female to us. I can't even remember her name.

When she bolts at the prospect of marrying her older cousin, I'm cringing. Would she have been happy if he was younger? The writing is lacking her emotions, or the narration is lacking them. I honestly couldn't tell if she would have been ok in an incestuous relationship if her betrothed had been younger.

Only to marry Zuvok the Terror. Within a half chapter, he's whipped and afraid of her. That's when I turned it off and had to post this review. Listen to both narrators before making your decision.

I gave up and returned it. Perhaps if Mr. James narrated the whole book, it would have been better.

It's a no for me.

I have never before had a struggle with a male narrator sounding like the comedic Trump impersonator. Also, the spicy scenes were terrible in a not supposed to be funny, but made me snort anyway, way. There were so many things with this story that were blech to me, and I read a lot of romance variety genres (alien, shifter, historical, poly, etc). I have also never heard the word t-word so much in my entire life, and never as a "sexy" word. lmao

I don't think I'll try this author again.

No, no no!

I tried so hard to finish! Neither narrator sound good, but the female is the worst! the story had potential to be good, I guess.... but just fell very short. Just not a good read to me!