Trauma Bonding: Understanding and Overcoming the Trauma Bond in a Narcissistic Relationship

Narcissistic Relationship Recovery, Book 1

By: Lauren Kozlowski

Narrated by: Stephanie Murphy

"If your relationship is so bad, why don't you just leave them?"

"If you were in such an abusive relationship, why did you stay with them for so long?"

"If you knew you were in a relationship with such a toxic person, why didn't you ask people for help?"

If you've ever been asked these questions, aside from being ignorant and hurtful, you'll know it's beyond frustrating. The answer to the above questions, whilst it's complex and often confusing, can be given with two words: trauma bonded. If you find you're in a relationship that you know is so toxic that it's crushing your very being, but you can't bring yourself to leave, you may be in the clutches of a tight trauma bond.

If you're constantly feeling on edge, forever working to appease your spouse to little avail and feel like you're constantly being chipped away at with their abusive behavior, then I can understand how emotionally shattering it feels to live this way.

If, in the same breath, it breaks your heart to even consider leaving them because you can't imagine life without them, then I can understand that feeling too - because I was trauma bonded to my abusive ex.

From my own personal experience and from the experiences other survivors have opened up to me about, this book will cover the following:

• What trauma bonding really is
• The seven stages that lead to you becoming trauma bonded
• The parallels that Stockholm syndrome has with trauma bonding
• The five stages you go through when you come to accept you're trauma bonded - the cognitive dissonance a trauma bond can cause
• Breaking free from the traumatic bond

This book will also include my own experiences and I'll draw upon those to help you really understand trauma bonding, and let you know that you're not alone in being shackled by this emotionally crippling bond. More importantly, this book will help you understand that the invisible chain that tethers you to your abuser can be broken.

©2020 Escape The Narcissist (P)2020 Escape The Narcissist

truth

please help me! how I feel is sick to my stomach. make a plan now

When you can’t quite put your finger on why you stay!

I really like how trauma bonding was broken down and explained. This book was direct and to the point and easy to understand how, who and why you can find yourself in trauma bond and not even realize it. I finally understand myself and the situation I’m in. This book is definitely for anyone who can’t quite put their finger on why you stay in toxic relationship knowing its abusive and unhealthy. A must read or listen to!!

Incredible reinforcement!

I am in the process of breaking a 12 year cycle of a marriage with a narcissistic, who also is an alcoholic and abusive.

All of the information in Lauren’s book is not new to me, but to hear it so clearly from someone else helps to keep me grounded and steadfast to not allow myself to be taken advantage of anymore.

I know it is likely I will return to my husband (again) and cause unnecessary heartache for myself, but it is encouraging to know I am not alone and I am not as weak or stupid as I thought for thinking things could change.

Loved this book

This was so helpful. I have been separated from my ex for almost 2 years and cannot let go. This helps me understand that a bit better. Thank you!

Helpful, honest, genuine

The author sharing examples from her own life make this book relatable, as oppose to a how to book book full of advice from someone who has studied the subject matter, it is advise from someone who has lived it and has first hand knowledge of the subject matter. Offers specific instruction that can be applied and followed. Good read!
Also offers info on a support group. I recommend this to anyone who is finding there way out of a toxic relationship, unsure if they are in a toxic relationship but suspect they may be, or someone who knows someone or cares for someone who is experiencing these things, it will help those unfamiliar to understand what there loved one is going through. Great read!

Emotional hard read

Being a person in a long term relationship with a narcissist I found this book hard to listen to as it brought back what I had gone through and haven’t recovered from.

Now I get its not my insecurity but gaslighting

I am mostly healed but men and dating is a trigger. I have also seen myself repeating the pattern with my kids at times. Good pointers on how to recover and move on without letting their gaslighting ruin the rest of your life.

to Heal

I learned and took notes. I hope to use some of these suggestions to break the trauma bond.

Trauma bonding

This was a great book for me helping me to understand what I’m going through. I suggest anyone in an abusive relationship reading this to determine if this is for them.

Best book ever!

This book helped me in tremendous ways. It was short yet informative and impactful. I liked the practical aspects and checklists to help me detach. I'm so glad I searched for this book because it's has already transformed my life.