Why Does He Do That?

Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men

By: Lundy Bancroft

Narrated by: Peter Berkrot

He says he loves you. So...why does he do that? You've asked yourself this question again and again. Now you have the chance to see inside the minds of angry and controlling men---and to change your life. In this groundbreaking book, a counselor who specializes in working with abusive men shows you how to improve, survive, or leave an abusive relationship. You will learn about:

• The early warning signs
• Ten abusive personality types
• The role of drugs and alcohol
• What you can fix, and what you can't
• How to get out of a relationship safely

©2002 Lundy Bancroft (P)2011 Tantor

Critic reviews

"This is essential reading for those in the helping professions and highly recommended for all libraries, especially those in communities with emergency shelter programs." ( Library Journal)

A must read

Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?

Yes, it is the best book I have read on abuse. I am therapist and wanted more information to help my clients. It helped me to understand that most abusers do not change and that what they say in therapy is usually a lie.

A must for women to read / listen to!!

What made the experience of listening to Why Does He Do That? the most enjoyable?

Enjoyable? Not so much, informative, YES!!

What did you learn from Why Does He Do That? that you would use in your daily life?

Why men are angry and violent and what to be aware of

Helped with my healing process tremendously

I knew that I had escaped a psychologically & emotionally abusive and controlling relationship after only a year together. And, I also knew it was only a matter of time before it turned physically abusive as it had sometimes become sexually abusive. However, as is with most women in these situations, we question our reality and emotions severely and wonder if we were just imagining it and maybe it really was all our fault. I dove immediately into talk therapy and began listening to several books about Trauma and breakups. But it wasn't until this book that I finally realized it wasn't just me. There were so many situations and cases that were very similar to my own experience. My guy was a combo of the water torturer, the sensitive, and the Rambo, and sprinkled with a few other traits, one of the loudest being that he was the "Victim" in Everything, not just in our relationship woes. I urge every woman to read/listen to this book. Your significant other may not be consciously subjecting you to abuse, and it may likely be a learned behavior. But this isn't about them, this is about you. How to protect yourself by learning and understanding the signs and symptoms.

Wow. Eye opening.

Very very very useful. If you have questions at all this book will help. I can make a better decision now.

Every abused woman and her supporters should read

Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?

Yes, if she was in an abusive relationship or helping someone in one. Or if one is confused about why women stay with abusive men. This book showed me the truth for the first time!

Who was your favorite character and why?

The author or counsellor who says why he needs to talk to the wife's and girlfriends of the abuser. Not many counsellors do that so they don't get the truth from the man. The author explains why this is so crucial.

What does Peter Berkrot bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?

One of the best narrators. He read it like he was the author, understood what he was reading and sounded as though he believed what he was saying which is critical for abused women. he's fantastic!

What did you learn from Why Does He Do That? that you would use in your daily life?

A ton of it! I know what questions to ask women in similar circumstances and how to keep myself safe!

Any additional comments?

Read the book and let your daughters read it

Noteworthy!

This book should be required reading for every young woman and young man as they reach dating age. I believe in the message of this book. It is well researched, backed by endless case studies, and provides women (and/or abused partners, their families, friends and therapists) a guiding light and a sense of freedom from their partners blame. Everyone should read this book!

A classic explanation of domestic abuse

This is *the* book given to people in treatment for being the victims of domestic abuse by their treatment providers. If you or some you know is being physically, psychologically, or sexually abused, they need this book. It's written for adults, not children. It will help them understand why the abuse is happening and give overarching strategies on how to address the problem. It's not an easy read, but it's an important one.

very helpful

This book helped me allot. he's right once you have a taste of life without abuse it's impossible to go back

Great!

Excellent book! It's nice to see the directness and way in which the author calls the abuser out and doesn't allow room for excuses. Most counselors and books I've read on marriage/relationships don't specifically address how to handle abusive men. Not all men beat their partners, but they can still be abusive. It's refreshing to hear a stance taken that doesn't hold an innocent parter at fault for an abusers actions. Nothing done by a women constitutes a mans right to be abusive. Excellent book. Very empowering.

Essential Reading!

This is by far the most informative and helpful non I have read on domestic abuse. I wish I could give a copy to everyone I know!