How to Love Someone Without Losing Your Mind

Forget the Fairy Tale and Get Real

By: Todd Baratz LMHC

Narrated by: Vikas Adam

A sanity-saving guide that cuts through the sky-high expectations of modern love and helps you build healthier and more fulfilling relationships, from the creator of viral Instagram account YourDiagnonsense

“Witty, practical, fun, and deeply honest.”—Terrence Real, New York Times bestselling author of Us

You’re not crazy. You’re human.

Modern love is a mess and life is (spoiler alert!) very hard. Whether you’re in a committed relationship or on the apps, buckle up, there’s a lot to unlearn.

How to Love Someone Without Losing Your Mind is your guide to sanity in a culture gone mad. Psychotherapist and sex therapist Todd Baratz blends sharp humor with raw insight as he challenges us to break every rule about love. It’s time to move beyond the relentless pursuit of the perfect partner, to challenge the stigma against neediness, and to rethink our obsession with diagnosing common challenges as disorders.

Instead, he offers an empowering new perspective: Embrace challenges, feel deeply, make mistakes, learn, and grow. Drawing from his extensive experience as both a therapist and a patient, Baratz shares stories of navigating his personal traumas and guiding others through theirs.

This book is an invitation to understand your life as part of a larger cultural narrative. It encourages you to delve into your history, cultivate self-awareness, and take responsibility in your relationships. By doing so, you can move beyond the fairy tale and transform your approach to love.

* This audiobook edition includes a downloadable PDF of resources and a key visual aid from the book.

PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.

©2024 Todd Baratz (P)2024 Random House Audio

Critic reviews

"Todd Baratz will help you love and live sanely. This smart, surprising, and compassionate book is for anyone who ever fell for someone, felt hurt, wondered why, and longed for a better way.”—Wednesday Martin, PhD, New York Times bestselling author of Primates of Park Avenue

“Witty, practical, fun, and deeply honest . . . Baratz’s insights liberate us from the ubiquitous nonsense about relationships that only make us feel worse about ourselves. You might just walk away with a changed life.”—Terrence Real, New York Times bestselling author of Us

“Embark on a journey of self-discovery with Baratz’s insightful exploration of love. In this accessible book, he skillfully demystifies the intricacies of fostering a relationship with oneself while navigating the challenges of being in love. It is a must-read for anyone seeking a deeper understanding of relationships and personal well-being.”—Nedra Glover Tawwab, LCSW, therapist, New York Times bestselling author of Drama Free

Honest, real, exactly what I needed to read

Not your average self help book. Honest and real. I’m all about option 3!!!!! Please read this book to help heal your heart and grow ✨💗🪴

is Todd telling my own story?

the parallels between my husband's and my personal story to Alex and Todd's story are at points scary.
Yet, I heard the truth from Michael and forgot about the fairy tale.

now to work on myself and writing my own story

Reliability is the best part !!

This book is a must read. I loved the entire book , it gave everything it needed to and then some.

phenomenal

it's hard to explain to fellow friends what is love and how to navigate the lasting good and bad feelings of it. I can't explain how well the author has articulated it. I highly recommend.

Reinvigorate hipe

Im a huge fan of Todds instagram and email newsletter but found this book rather blasé in comparisoon. Lots of gems and great refreshing perspectives aside from culturally predominant narratives that get regurgitated over and over again. He does make some astute points but generally takes a while to get there. I appreciate the self revelatory bits to humanize him as a therapist and contextualize his advice and recommendations. Still it felt more like a conversation with a friend about their experiences than any real concrete advise on how to navigate relationship conflict besides “communicate and keep an open mind” which can be heard on any blog or forum.

Practical, helpful advice

This book goes beyond typical dating advice and challenges listeners to look at themselves, family patterns and cultural norms in an effort to be honest so that change and true and fulfilling relationships can happen.

Refreshingly honest

I have read countless therapy books, as a therapist myself. But what sets this book apart is the genuine vulnerability of its author. There are many talented clinicians who have offered powerful books about mental health, but very few have been brave enough to bring their own ups and downs into the conversation. In every chapter, Todd ties in the history of his family and his most significant romantic relationship, warts and all. As a reader, it gave me a sense of being less alone. His unashamed confessions modeled what I hope we can all learn to do with our life stories, telling them proudly as a testament to the vivid and colorful human condition. His perspective on the meaning of life and pain felt so true, and felt all the more strengthened by his radical honesty.

The Car Story (Fanning Self)

I really loved this book. It gave me a lot to think about and how it’s okay to have feelings about everything. That it’s okay to talk about your fears and challenges. How to not have huge expectations but to be curious and I guess open to possibilities whatever they may be. Not be bogged down by a certain dogma that prevails with dating and relationship content. I really feel for and relate to Todd’s childhood and first long term relationship and the aftermath. I am looking forward to implementing some these lessons in my own life. Thank you

Honest and inspiring

I thought this was such a heartfelt story with such deep impactful Truths. Todd gives the most insightful advice based on hard traumatic lessons in his life as well as all he is has counseled and learned from. This book can be a pivotal read in your life and help transform your relationships. It gave me Hope.

Refreshing, Relatable, and Easy

As a longtime fan of Todd's work, I found his new book to be both refreshing and incredibly helpful. His insights are relatable and often hit home, making the content easy to digest and apply to your own life. This book serves as a practical guide for your healing journey, filled with exercises and prompts that encourage self-reflection and growth. Whether you're new to self-discovery or a seasoned explorer, this book is a valuable resource for anyone seeking healing and personal transformation.