Too Much

A Guide to Breaking the Cycle of High-Functioning Codependency

By: Terri Cole MSW LCSW

Narrated by: Terri Cole MSW LCSW

An empowering new take on codependent behavior, revealing the underlying reasons we struggle with doing it all—and the path to recovery and freedom.

Are you the person everyone comes to when they’re in a jam?

Do you regularly accommodate others’ needs and preferences?

Does it feel like chaos will ensue if you don’t handle the travel plans, divvy up the check at group dinners, sort out your friend’s latest crisis, and so on?

If these questions resonate, the odds are good that you are one of the over-giving, over-extending individuals struggling with what psychotherapist and boundary expert Terri Cole has termed high-functioning codependency (HFC).

When you hear the word codependent, you might think of the traditional enabler framework involving a hapless victim and their selfless rescuer. Terri certainly did. But after years in her therapy practice, she realized that many of her clients were presenting codependent behaviors that fell outside of the classic model.

The ironic truth with HFC is that the more capable you are the more codependency doesn’t look like codependency.

In Too Much, you’ll discover how to identify your HFC blueprint (or why you relate to others the way you do), the source of the attraction between codependents and narcissists, and how to cultivate emotional resiliency, practice real self-care, and much more.

Each chapter includes tips, self-assessments, and exercises to help you transform how you see yourself and the world, avoid relapses, and stay centered in your own experience so that you can relate to others in a healthier way.

“How you feel, what you think, what you want matters. In fact, those things need to matter to you the most,” writes Terri. “By choosing the path of healing and recovery, you are coming home to yourself.” Here is a book for making the shift “from too much to just right,” so you can live a life that’s full of authenticity, freedom, and joy.

©2024 Terri Cole (P)2024 Sounds True

Critic reviews

“Too Much reveals how our deepest compulsions to help and heal others can unexpectedly lead us away from our true selves. A transformative read that offers a pathway to reclaim your personal power and emotional integrity.” —Dr. Shefali, New York Times bestselling author of The Conscious Parent and The Parenting Map

“This is a crash course for anyone who can do it all and suffers because of it. With masterful storytelling and expert techniques, Too Much will teach you how to stop protecting others over protecting yourself.” —Elizabeth Earnshaw, author of I Want This to Work and ’Til Stress Do Us Part

“This book is everything we need it to be—honest, sincere, and practical. Cole dismantles the misconceptions surrounding codependency, inviting readers into a judgment-free zone where shifts and breakthroughs are possible.” —Sara Kuburic, author of It’s On Me

This is me to a T

I heard this author on a podcast and I was so blown away I bought this book before the podcast was over. I’d never even heard of HFC’s before and I had to stop right where I was and hear EVERYTHING she knew about this. Even before finishing the book I’ve recommended it to several friends. I will take these lessons with me through the rest of my life. I’ve started making and enforcing boundaries already and I love it. Truly amazing book!!!!

Love Terri!

Terri has been an essential contributor to my recovery. Thank you for this great work.

Therapist recommended!

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

As an LCSW in private practice, listening to Too Much by Terri Cole felt like getting the friendliest slap on the wrist ever. Professionally called out? Check. Past mistakes in codependency coming back to haunt me? Absolutely. I could practically feel Terri leaning over my shoulder, gently nudging, “Hey, remember that time you put your safety (and maybe others’) at risk just because saying ‘no’ felt…awkward?” Yeah, same.

The clients she describes mirror so many of my own, and now I’m over here recommending Terri Cole like I’m her unofficial apprentice. (Honestly, at this point, I might as well apply for that role.) Her down-to-earth approach normalizes and validates everything that feels complicated and overwhelming, creating this incredible foundation for inner healing. I’ve even been using her online resources with my clients, and they love her practical wisdom just as much as I do.

If you’re a therapist or anyone who’s ever caught yourself in the “people-pleasing Olympics,” grab this book. It’s insightful, validating, and might just make you laugh (or wince) at how much you recognize yourself in these pages. Thanks, Terri, for the reminder that saying “no” can actually be a very kind “yes” to ourselves.