Dating Without Fear

Overcome Social Anxiety and Connect

By: Thomas Smithyman PhD

Narrated by: Thomas Smithyman PhD

Discover how to overcome social anxiety in dating and form genuine connections that are rooted in authentic self-confidence.

This engaging, science-backed blueprint—written by a clinical psychologist—will help you understand your anxiety, work through it, and naturally connect.

Packed with proven strategies, personal stories, distilled research, and examples from his clinical practice, Dr. Thomas Smithyman leads you through the maze of dating-based social anxiety and helps you discover the warm social world that awaits.

In Dating Without Fear, you will learn how to:

• Unwind the beliefs that trigger social anxiety
• Reduce shame and overcome the fear of rejection
• Be seen and liked for who you truly are (flaws and all)
• Let go of worry, rumination, and overthinking
• Lower performance demands and find ease in social situations
• Express romantic interest and invite connection

It’s possible to overcome your social anxiety, and it’s possible to date without fear. Connection might be closer than you think.

©2022 Thomas Smithyman, PhD (P)2022 Thomas Smithyman, PhD

Critic reviews

“Dating Without Fear blends solid, evidence-based science with relatable vulnerability. Both useful and entertaining, this gem of a book will transform your dating life.” —Dr. Ellen Hendriksen, Author of How To Be Yourself: Quiet Your Inner Critic and Rise Above Social Anxiety

"You don't need to continue sitting on the sideline of the dating world. Put your trust in this superb book, full of clear, engaging strategies that are firmly grounded in the latest scientific research." —Reid Wilson, Ph.D., Author of Stopping the Noise in Your Head: The New Way to Overcome Anxiety and Worry

"A phenomenal resource for anyone experiencing anxiety in dating. This will be my go to recommendation for my own clients fighting to overcome dating anxiety and start the journey toward dating again." —Dan Cummings, LCSW-S Clinical Director, Mindful Counseling of Texas

A life-changing listen

Dating can be scary and hard, but reading this book gives you a superpower.

I got divorced when I was 40. When I was ready to to dating again, I was terrified. I expected to get rejected over and over for all of my perceived flaws: I was too old; my hair wasn't as thick as it used to be; my last relationship had ended in a failure; I spent most of my evenings cooking dinner for children instead of taking part in the exciting and sexy social events the rest of the single people in my city were experiencing. What a loser! Et cetera.

Don't get me wrong — I have gotten rejected, even after reading this book, and I've even done some rejecting. But listening to it gave me something incredibly valuable: a perspective on my scary internal narrative, a way of thinking about it that helped ratchet it down.

Listening to this book felt like having a warm, caring friend speaking directly into my ear about one of my most shameful fears. The science behind the content is robust — especially the sections about how strangers so rarely notice our flaws, about how the dating world isn't nearly as dangerous as we fear. But the true value is in the sympathy and care with which we're told why we needn't be afraid.

In the end, due to this book and the subsequent dating experiences I've had that backed up its claims, I find myself in a place that I couldn't imagine only a few years ago: excited about dating, and actually looking forward to the next time I meet someone new.

Very helpful.

For someone who’s a public figure, we don’t often think we need help overcoming fear in something as simple as dating. Grateful this book was like having a personal life coach to guide me.

Great For Social Anxiety

Although I’m already in a relationship, this book contains a lot of ways to think about social anxiety as a whole and not just for dating. Applies for all aspects in social interactions and how to cognitively think in times of anxious feelings and self doubt.

Eh

I didn’t think that the book was terrible or that his voice was terrible. He’s actually an excellent reader. But the book sort of hopped all over from one point to another. It didn’t really help me feel differently…just sort of tried to convince me why I should. But the problem is that I know why I should feel differently. I’m able to recognize that my anxiety isn’t rational. I’m still anxious, though! I don’t know, maybe it just wasn’t the right book for me.