Toxic Positivity

Keeping It Real in a World Obsessed with Being Happy

By: Whitney Goodman LMFT

Narrated by: Whitney Goodman LMFT

A powerful guide to owning our emotions—even the difficult ones—in order to show up authentically in the world, from the popular therapist behind the Instagram account @sitwithwhit.

Every day, we’re bombarded with pressure to be positive. From “good vibes only” and “life is good” memes, to endless advice, to “look on the bright side,” we’re constantly told that the key to happiness is silencing negativity wherever it crops up, in ourselves and in others. Even when faced with illness, loss, breakups, and other challenges, there’s little space for talking about our real feelings—and processing them so that we can feel better and move forward.

But if all this positivity is the answer, why are so many of us anxious, depressed, and burned out?

In this refreshingly honest guide, sought-after therapist Whitney Goodman shares the latest research along with everyday examples and client stories that reveal how damaging toxic positivity is to ourselves and our relationships, and presents simple ways to experience and work through difficult emotions. The result is more authenticity, connection, and growth—and ultimately, a path to showing up as you truly are.

©2022 Whitney Goodman (P)2022 Penguin Audio

Critic reviews

“More than a self-help book, this is a society-help book. It’s ambitious but based on the simple idea of being, as Goodman describes herself, ‘radically honest’ with each other. And it’s about not pushing don’t-worry-be-happy talk on everyone around you, including yourself. Isn’t that something to (genuinely) smile about?”
--Kimberly Harrington, The Washington Post

“I‘ll be forever changed by Toxic Positivity—before offering words of validation, I will choose what I say wisely. Whitney Goodman’s book unlocks the difference between being helpful and harmful. This trailblazing book will help you transform your perspective about positivity.“ --Nedra Glover Tawwab, bestselling author of Set Boundaries, Find Peace

"Sorely needed….Whitney Goodman elegantly weaves together her personal and clinical experience, academic research and practical advice to offer us a refreshing antidote to the seemingly innocuous but ultimately harmful message of ‘good vibes only.’" --Iris McAlpin, trauma professional

I wish everyone would read this!

This author’s explanation of the effects of the positivity movement on our current culture is spot on and reading this was very affirming and powerful.

Fantastic, especially for people with chronic illness / disability

If you have a chronic illness / disability or care about someone who does, this book is a must read! The amount of toxic positivity our community faces on a DAILY basis from (usually well-meaning people) is enough to drive anyone insane with feelings of frustration, invalidation, isolation. This book won’t cure your illness / disability, BUT, it will validate your experience and make you feel more sane.

Life isn't Roses

It was good to hear a different yet interesting narrative that provoked realistic insights mixed with everyday struggles... it made you take accountability for your own toxic yet positive behaviors(unbeknownst to yourself) and made you think more on ways to have more compassion for yourself and others.

Eye-opening

This book has made me think a lot about how I speak to people when they are having a hard time. I think I’m going to be a better communicator with my friends and family because of what I have learned from this book. I would recommend it for sure.

Best book I’ve read in a long time

Chapter 1 where she goes into the history of toxic positivity was so eye opening for me. The book continued to get better and better as it went on. It was a bit slow though so I listened at 1.4x, which seemed to be the perfect speed.

Interesting Read

I am terrible at writing reviews. This book is an interesting read. The “think good thoughts and good things will happen” just may be a bit gimmicky.

What I was looking for

Good easy read/ listen. So glad to find a book on this topic. Loved the reframing of negativity- there are no negative people. Thanks.
I had no issue with her voice- enjoyed this a lot!

yes

I believe that the perspective was solid. I enjoyed the message. The delivery was tougher at times. Overall it's a message that needs repeating.

Interesting and different

Definitely a unique spin on positivity, in my opinion. Not sure I agreed with all the points the author made, however, it was a very good read to get different viewpoints. To not beat yours

Positivity Clowns Need Nuance & This Book.

Goodman illustrates how emotions are there to be felt and not ignored. People of all backgrounds misunderstand positivity as keeping good optics when it can be used to bully or ignore legitimate grievances. The antidote is as she prescribes is establishing healthy boundaries with empathy. Yes positivity is toxic when others use their facade of positivity to ignore your sentiments.