
The Self-Driven Child
The Science and Sense of Giving Your Kids More Control over Their Lives
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Narrated by:
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Kaleo Griffith
About this listen
A clinical neuropsychologist and test prep guru combine cutting-edge brain science with insights from their work with families to make a radical new case for giving kids more control if you want to unleash their full potential.
Many of us know we're putting too much pressure on our kids - and on ourselves - but how do we get off this crazy train? We want our children to succeed, to be their best, and to do their best, but what if they are not on board?
A few years ago, Ned Johnson and Bill Stixrud started noticing the same problem from different angles: even high-performing kids were coming to them acutely stressed and lacking any real motivation. Many complained that they had no real control over their lives. Johnson runs PrepMatters, an elite tutoring service that teaches teens how to perform better on standardized tests. Stixrud is a clinical neuropsychologist who helps patients suffering from ADHD, anxiety, eating disorders, and depression. Both have devoted their lives to coaching kids and they have hit on a counterintuitive solution to unlocking their full potential: even at a young age kids need to feel that their views matter. They need more agency. A healthy motivation hinges on having a strong sense of control. So how do you do that without giving up all authority as a parent?
The Self-Driven Child offers a combination of brain science, the latest discoveries in behavioral therapy, case studies drawn from the thousands of children and teens Stixrud and Johnson have helped over the years, and concrete advice that you can act on tonight to teach you how to unlock your children's potential and set them on the real road to success. We can only drive our children so far. At some point, they have to take the wheel themselves. Those who have never been allowed to make meaningful decisions until then are likely to flounder.
The Self-Driven Child will give you the tools to make sure your children navigate with confidence and determination and find their own path.
©2018 William Stixrud and Ned Johnson (P)2018 Penguin AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Target Audience- Upper-Middle Class
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Critic reviews
“Instead of trusting kids with choices. . . many parents insist on micromanaging everything from homework to friendships. For these parents, Stixrud and Johnson have a simple message: Stop. Instead of thinking of yourself as your child's boss or manager, try consultant.” (NPR)
“William Stixrud and Ned Johnson focus on the ways that children today are being denied a sense of controlling their own lives - doing what they find meaningful, and succeeding, or failing, on their own. Screen time, the authors say, is part of the problem, but so are well-meaning parents and schools, who are unwittingly taking from children the opportunities they need to grow stronger, more confident, and more themselves.” (Scientific American)
“If there’s one book I’d recommend to parents who are raising children of all ages - I’m talking preschool to 12th grade - this is the book.” (Atomic Moms)
Featured Article: The 10 Best Parenting Audiobooks
As many parents know all too well, there’s no official guide on how to raise your child. From all the ways you can show love and affection to the more difficult acts of helping them grow through discipline, each kid—and each family—is unique in what they need. A one-size-fits all approach doesn’t exist, which is why finding the advice and resources that best speak to you are so important. We’ve pooled together the top resources on parenting for all different styles and families, and parents looking for a wide breadth of advice.
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An essential guide to raising happy children from author Christine Carter, complete with tips, secrets, and strategies that will set the stage for positive emotions into adolescence and beyond.
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One of the best parenting books I have come across
- By Kristine on 02-05-13
By: Christine Carter
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Differently Wired
- Raising an Exceptional Child in a Conventional World
- By: Deborah Reber
- Narrated by: Deborah Reber
- Length: 8 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Today millions of kids are stuck in a world that doesn't respect, support, or embrace who they really are - these are what Deborah Reber is calling the “differently wired” kids, the one in five children with ADHD, dyslexia, Asperger’s, and other neurodifferences. Their challenges are many. But now there’s hope. Written by Deborah Reber, a best-selling author and mother in the midst of an eye-opening journey with her son who is twice exceptional (he has ADHD, Asperger’s, and is highly gifted), Differently Wired is a how-to, a manifesto, a book of wise advice, and more.
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very well thought out but not for everyone
- By Trudy Owens on 01-01-19
By: Deborah Reber
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The ADHD Advantage
- What You Thought Was a Diagnosis May Be Your Greatest Strength
- By: Dale Archer MD
- Narrated by: Walter Dixon
- Length: 8 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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Sharing the stories of highly successful people with ADHD, Dr. Archer offers a vitally important and inspiring new way to recognize ADHD traits in oneself or in one's loved ones, and then leverage them to great advantage - without drugs. As someone who not only has ADHD himself but also has never used medication to treat it, Dr. Archer understands the condition from a unique standpoint.
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This guy doesn't understand ADHD – at all
- By Oliver Nielsen on 02-25-16
By: Dale Archer MD
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How Children Succeed
- Grit, Curiosity, and the Hidden Power of Character
- By: Paul Tough
- Narrated by: Robert Petkoff
- Length: 8 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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The story we usually tell about childhood and success is the one about intelligence: success comes to those who score highest on tests, from preschool admissions to SATs. But in How Children Succeed, Paul Tough argues that the qualities that matter most have more to do with character: skills like perseverance, curiosity, conscientiousness, optimism, and self-control. How Children Succeed introduces us to a new generation of researchers and educators who, for the first time, are using the tools of science to peel back the mysteries of character.
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Detailed deep dive into the developmental challenges of all youth
- By Andrew little on 01-01-25
By: Paul Tough
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The Grown-Up's Guide to Teenage Humans
- How to Decode Their Behavior, Develop Unshakable Trust, and Raise a Respectable Adult
- By: Josh Shipp
- Narrated by: Roger Wayne
- Length: 7 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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Written in Shipp's playfully authoritative, no-nonsense voice, The Grown-Up's Guide to Teenage Humans tells his story and unpacks practical strategies that can make a difference. Ultimately, it's not about shortcuts or magic words - as Shipp reminds us, it's about investing in kids and giving them the love, time, and support they need to thrive. And that means every kid is one caring adult away from being a success story.
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Read it....then read it again!
- By R. Eichelberger on 11-07-17
By: Josh Shipp
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The Gentle Sleep Book
- For Calm Babies, Toddlers and Pre-Schoolers
- By: Sarah Ockwell-Smith
- Narrated by: Katy Sobey
- Length: 8 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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The Gentle Sleep Book offers gentle, no-tears sleep solutions for exhausted parents of newborns to five-year-olds. A large percentage of parents find their young children's sleep - or lack of - challenging. This new audiobook from Sarah Ockwell-Smith, founder of BabyCalm, will be an indispensable guide for parents, whatever challenges they are facing with their child's sleep - from the day they bring their newborn home until their child is settled in at school.
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It's fine but not much about 2-4 years
- By Patrick on 02-12-18
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The Marshmallow Test
- Mastering Self-Control
- By: Walter Mischel
- Narrated by: Alan Alda
- Length: 7 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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In The Marshmallow Test, Mischel explains how self-control can be mastered and applied to challenges in everyday life - from weight control to quitting smoking, overcoming heartbreak, making major decisions, and planning for retirement. With profound implications for the choices we make in parenting, education, public policy and self-care, The Marshmallow Test will change the way you think about who we are and what we can be.
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Great performance, but lacking in content
- By Hilary - San Francisco on 09-27-14
By: Walter Mischel
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Disconnected
- How to Reconnect Our Digitally Distracted Kids
- By: Thomas Kersting
- Narrated by: Jonathan Coleman
- Length: 3 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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We see it everywhere: at the park, in restaurants, and inside our homes and cars - kids connected to handheld devices and disconnected from the world around them. According to the latest research, the average 13-year-old spends eight hours per day, seven days a week, glued to a screen. Yes, this is problematic, but for every problem there is a solution. In Disconnected, renowned psychotherapist and longtime school counselor Tom Kersting explores the device-dependent world our children live in and how it is impacting their mental and emotional well-being.
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Great Reminder!
- By Frank Pavlik on 07-06-19
By: Thomas Kersting
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Back to Normal
- Why Ordinary Childhood Behavior Is Mistaken for ADHD, Bipolar Disorder, and Autism Spectrum Disorder
- By: Enrico Gnaulati
- Narrated by: Matthew Kugler
- Length: 8 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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A veteran clinical psychologist exposes why doctors, teachers, and parents incorrectly diagnose healthy American children with serious psychiatric conditions. In recent years there has been an alarming rise in the number of American children and youth assigned a mental health diagnosis. Current data from the Centers for Disease Control reveal a 41 percent increase in rates of ADHD diagnoses over the past decade and a forty-fold spike in bipolar disorder diagnoses. Similarly, diagnoses of autism spectrum disorder has increased by 78 percent since 2002.
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surprisingly useful and specific
- By SaturdayDad on 03-07-14
By: Enrico Gnaulati
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It's OK to Go up the Slide
- Renegade Rules for Raising Confident and Creative Kids
- By: Heather Shumaker
- Narrated by: Laurel Lefkow
- Length: 9 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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Heather Shumaker has sparked much discussion with her "renegade rules for raising competent and compassionate kids". In this follow-up book, she takes on new hot-button issues like banning homework, technology use, and skipping kindergarten. Shumaker offers broader guidance on how parents can control their own anger and move from an overscheduled life to one of more free play.
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Amazing resource for parents and teachers
- By Ahmed on 05-11-16
By: Heather Shumaker
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The Kazdin Method for Parenting the Defiant Child
- By: Alan Kazdin
- Narrated by: L. J. Ganser
- Length: 10 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Most child-behavior books are filled with advice that sounds reasonable, fits with what parents already believe about child-rearing, and isas Dr. Kazdin proves guaranteed to fail. The Kazdin Method for Parenting the Defiant Child makes available to parents for the first time Dr. Kazdins proven program, one backed up by some of the most long-term and respected research devoted to any therapy for children.
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Same old same old
- By Amazon Customer on 10-26-10
By: Alan Kazdin
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The Childhood Roots of Adult Happiness
- Five Steps to Help Kids Create and Sustain Lifelong Joy
- By: Edward M. Hallowell MD
- Narrated by: Pete Larkin
- Length: 8 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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Edward M. Hallowell, MD, father of three and a clinical psychiatrist, has thought long and hard about what makes children feel good about themselves and the world they live in. Now, in The Childhood Roots of Adult Happiness, he shares his findings with all of us who care about children. We don't need statistical studies or complicated expert opinions to raise children. What we do need is love, wonder, and the confidence to trust our instincts.
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Love this book and will be listening again
- By Jenny on 09-15-22
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The Importance of Being Little
- What Preschoolers Really Need from Grownups
- By: Erika Christakis
- Narrated by: Teri Schnaubelt
- Length: 12 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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A bold challenge to the conventional wisdom about early childhood, with a pragmatic program to encourage parents and teachers to rethink how and where young children learn best by taking the child's eye view of the learning environment.
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Points out many problems; offers no real solution
- By K. Lynn on 08-06-18
By: Erika Christakis
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