How to Raise an Adult

Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success

By: Julie Lythcott-Haims

Narrated by: Julie Lythcott-Haims

A provocative manifesto that exposes the harms of helicopter parenting and sets forth an alternate philosophy for raising preteens and teens to self-sufficient young adulthood.

In How to Raise an Adult, Julie Lythcott-Haims draws on research; on conversations with admissions officers, educators, and employers; and on her own insights as a mother and as a student dean to highlight the ways in which overparenting harms children, their stressed-out parents, and society at large. While empathizing with the parental hopes and, especially, fears that lead to overhelping, Lythcott-Haims offers practical alternative strategies that underline the importance of allowing children to make their own mistakes and develop the resilience, resourcefulness, and inner determination necessary for success.

Relevant to parents of toddlers as well as of 20-somethings - and of special value to parents of teens - this audiobook is a rallying cry for those who wish to ensure that the next generation can take charge of their own lives with competence and confidence.

Download the accompanying reference guide.©2015 Julie Lythcott-Haims (P)2015 Macmillan Audio

Critic reviews

"Julie Lythcott-Haims is a national treasure.... A must-read for every parent who senses that there is a healthier and saner way to raise our children." (Madeline Levine, author of the New York Times best sellers The Price of Privilege and Teach Your Children Well)

"For parents who want to foster hearty self-reliance instead of hollow self-esteem, How to Raise an Adult is the right book at the right time." (Daniel H. Pink, author of the New York Times best sellers Drive and A Whole New Mind)

Parenting book if you only read one

How to raise an adult is a great book. Julie Lythcott-Haims lays out a strong argument that the problem kids are having today is not, not enough parenting, but rather too much parenting. She suggests that raising an adult is the most important thing a parent can do and to do this we need to back off. The approach sounds simple but runs counter to many recent trends. I enjoyed this book and am someone who never, but perhaps should, read parenting books.

Easy read. Heavy subject.

Loved the advice given. However, perspective was a little too much on college and academia. I was way more interested in the sociology and cultural aspect of parental guidance in today's society. I also didn't need so much convincing that over parenting was a problem. That was the primary reason I read the book in the first place. Good intro into a deeply philosophical subject.

so great for parents of kids

This book had so many great stories. I've shared it with family and friends. While I'm not one of the insane parents in the book, there are some things I can see I may have done differently like allowing small failures so they can learn how to deal with it and be resilient.

Oxygen for parents that were thinking that something has to change

You want nothing but the best for your child. However, over parenting doesn’t feel right. It’s difficult to dare to approach the preparation of your child differently when the norm is the helicopter parents model. This book demonstrates and brings evidence that supports a more life-skills-based model. You will feel that despite being surrounded by insanity, stress, helicopter parents, tests, rankings, etc we are not alone and success when it comes to raising a our children can be achieve without damaging them and ourselves in the process. It’s very uplifting to learn actionable tips to start bringing our little human beings to become the adults of tomorrow, happy, sane, and successful beyond measure.

Insightful and timely

Amazing how she summarizes the sad childhoods of parents trying too hard. Useful info. What's missing? Stay married, have your kid in scouts or 4H and realize that government guarantee student loans created the mess of unaffordable college tuitions.

Great book, but it could have half of its lenght

The author takes too much time to deliver her good and important message. She had great performance reading her own book.

worth to listen for future stories

suggestions made here are based on statistics and nearby stories, but redundant somewhere.there is certain analysis in this but there are also conflicting suggestions indicating this is a parent have the same problems to face. worth to read, think and do.

JUST A LITTLE PUSH

This book has been eye-opening to facts of which the society-changing consequences can be seen already. It presents in a very positive way the suppirt we are supposed to be for our children for their oersonalities and beautiful selves to bloom. The author provides us with multiple resources to find support ourselves. I loved it and I will read it again.

Every parent today should read this book.

While the book starts off with some pretty jaw-dropping stories of the extent that some parents go to these days; I very quickly saw how it truly applies to most parents of middle to upper class families these days. And it gives concrete examples of how we can help our children to grow into capable adults by letting go of our insane grip that we think will ensure them a good life in the future, but will instead only make their path more difficult.

SORELY NEEDED ADVICE FOR "PERFECT" PARENTS.

This book was even more refreshing a breath of fresh air after a flatulent in a space suit. An exceptional job of not only addressing the problem, but giving many practical elements that can help parents discern whether or not THEY are the problem and need to reevaluate their 'exceptional' parenting techniques. It's almost easy to call this book common sense, but then again, why is common sense so uncommon? Because we live in a country where it is clear that so many people (parents, people in general) are more concerned with outward appearances than true quality of life. Hopefully this book gets read by those who truly need it, but that remains to be seen, as the helicopter parents described in the book are in abundant supply here in Southern California, despite their insistence on being "progressive" and whatever other buzzword will make them appear to be paying the least bit of attention. I suggest parents of all kids make this and some of the other texts referred to in this book topics of conversation whenever possible - so we might eventually gain the upper hand FOR OUR KIDS to live their own lives and grow up without some illusory bubble so many parents assume is essential for their well being.
Julie, you need to do a TED talk if you haven't already.