So When Are You Having Kids

The Definitive Guide for Those Who Aren’t Sure If, When, or How They Want to Become Parents

By: Jordan Davidson

Narrated by: Jordan Davidson

As we expand our understanding of what “family” means, we need to change the way we think about having kids.

How much does it cost to have kids? How long can I wait? What if I have fertility issues? And, wait a minute… do I even want kids? If you’re unsure whether you want kids or struggling to decide, this book is for you.

So When Are You Having Kids? is not your parents’ parenting book, nor is it a how-to for getting pregnant. It’s a nonjudgmental, inclusive guidebook for women, men, gender-nonconforming people, same-sex couples, and prospective single parents who want to make an informed decision regarding if and how they bring children into the world. Combining research with over 100 compelling real-life stories, the resources in this book are as diverse as the generations they’re meant to serve.

With deep insight and empathy, Davidson explores:

• Ways to cope with familial and societal pressure to have children
• What makes a good parent, and the skills you need to be one
• The facts about infertility, adoption, fostering, and alternative methods of becoming a parent
• The real financial costs of having and raising kids
• How to move past fears related to pregnancy and childbirth
• The ethics and consequences of having kids in the face of climate change
• And, what it means to choose a child-free life for those who are unsure whether they want kids

So When Are You Having Kids? is a much-needed resource for family planning in the modern world, packed with the knowledge and tools you need to make one of the most important decisions—if not the most important decision—of your life.

©2022 Jordan Davidson (P)2022 Brilliance Publishing, Inc., all rights reserved.

Critic reviews

“Davidson narrates her own work, delving deep into the reasons why and how people choose to have children by drawing on substantial information gleaned through interviews with straight, cis white men and women, as well as people of color and trans, nonbinary, and other queer individuals.… This is a much-needed book on how to decide to become a parent. Davidson handles the diversity of individuals and situations with tact and care.”—Library Journal

“Whether or not to become a parent is the biggest decision a person will ever make. Jordan’s book leaves no stone unturned in helping people consider their options and will undoubtedly help people feel more confident in pursuing whatever path is right for them.”—Ruby Warrington, bestselling author of Sober Curious and Women Without Kids

“It is rare for someone like me—disabled, queer, and childfree—to feel welcome in a book about having children, but Jordan Davidson’s debut made me right at home. If you’re deciding ‘if, when, and how’ to have children (or even if you’ve already made up your mind), Davidson’s text will arm you with empowering information and a steady, guiding voice. The rest, as she gently reminds readers, is (and always should be) up to us.”—Tessa Miller, New York Times editors’ choice author of What Doesn’t Kill You

A Safe Space for All Feelings on Parenthood

This book was incredible. I stumbled across it on an Audible newsletter and snatched I up immediately. I bought both the audiobook and borrowed the ebook from the library and read concurrently. I loved the messaging and felt that this book created a safe space for my uncertainties that I haven’t been able to voice.

I may have walked away from this read more confused than ever, but at least I have more information available to me and a better idea of next steps depending on decisions I may make on the subject. I am so grateful to the author for compiling such a great piece that accounts for all possibilities while not pushing an agenda to sway the reader one way or another.

As a cisgender, straight, married, white woman, I shouldn’t even mention representation since I’m not the person who needs more of it in the subject. However, I feel the author did a great job representing all individuals who come to the parenting, childbearing/rearing, and pregnancy table and maintained neutral language throughout. I felt seen, and I hope everyone feels seen in this book.

Regarding the audiobook, the author/narrator had a great voice and did a brilliant job narrating. The standard narration speed though was quite slow for me, especially when paired with my reading along. I did ramp it up quite a bit.

Excellent comprehensive book

This book answered practically every question I could ever have about if, when, and how to become a parent in todays world. I absolutely recommend it to anyone who is asking themselves similar questions. The author has such a kind tone and perspective and I loved all of the anecdotes she pulled in.

The first few sections are a must for everyone. From there, you could pick and choose which topics are most applicable to your situation (fertility treatments, adoption, choosing not to have kids.) I chose to read the entire book straight through and I can’t believe how much I learned.

Disappointing

The authors reading is not very good. She sounds like a robot. And it’s pretty dry. I don’t think this provided any helpful insight into my decision.