Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay

A Step-by-Step Guide to Help You Decide Whether to Stay In or Get Out of Your Relationship

By: Mira Kirshenbaum

Narrated by: Adriane McNeely

To make up or break up? Whether you’re just getting serious or have a long-term commitment, no other question causes so much heartache and self-doubt. Many other books tell you how to fix your relationship. This groundbreaking best seller is the first one to help you choose whether you should try—or you need to go.

Psychotherapist Mira Kirshenbaum draws on years of research and her work with real-life couples to help you make the right decision. She shows you how to diagnose your unique situation with self-analysis and questions like these, which get to the very heart of your problems:

What sins are forgivable and which ones unpardonable?

Is your partner questioning your opinions to the point where you doubt yourself?

What is your sex life really like, and how important is it?

Is there real love left between you, and how does it stack up against all that you find unlovable?

Mira Kirshenbaum provides expert guidelines that are the key to making all your choices, concrete steps that you can implement right now, and the ultimate way to determine your personal bottom line—what you need to be happy. This remarkably insightful and probing guide offers advice that lets you see the truth about your relationship—and with wisdom and compassion, it helps you act with the confidence of knowing that, whether you decide to go or stay, you are doing the very best thing.

©1997 Mira Kirshenbaum (P)2010 Brilliance Audio, Inc.

Critic reviews

"[T]hreaded through the book, which is written in a sympathetic, chatty, accessible style, are validating anecdotes that dramatize how other people have experienced and responded to the same problems the reader is going through." ( Publishers Weekly)

Helped me decide whether to leave my husband

What did you love best about Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay?

I loved the question format of hte book as the author takes you through 30+ areas to examine in your relationship. It ended the going round and round in circles of guilt at wanting to leave, and fear of not wanting to leave.

What was one of the most memorable moments of Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay?

The realisation that I had mostly negative answers to the 30+ questions posed, and that I was staying out of guilt/fear and not love.

Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?

No - it requires a digestion question by question

Any additional comments?

A must read for anyone who has any doubts about their relationship. It is such a relief to get clarity on whether it works or not!

I learned a lot.

I saw myself in some of the behaviors that make a relationship too bad to stay. I assumed it would be pro woman point of view but it's very fair on both sides. I realize I also have a responsibility for this mess I call a relationship. Good wake up for me.

great book

excellent book - thorough, addressing all points one should consider & a very fast listen.

non judgmental approach

I really liked this book. I mean... yes, sometimes it was a little corny and i may have giggled a time or two. The message, though, is incredibly simple and on point. It very easily guides you through stories of other couples and explains what each partner felt and why. And even more valuable, it directly asks you the questions that can guide you to the answer you already know. I would recommend this book to anyone, even those not facing this choice.
I can see value in these lessons reaching even casual, work or familial relationships.

Don't wait for issues to arise to read

great book for anyone wanting to have a good, balanced relationship. I got plenty of tips on the boundaries I would like to have and how to adress these delicate subjects with my partner.

Insightful

I’m now going to listen to this book again… My fiancée is reading it as well … we’re comparing notes as we go and it makes for insightful sharing! We shall see…

This book really helped me.

The book made me think about a lot of things I’ve never considered and helped me make a decision and feel confident about it.

Excellent Book!

Well written and the reader was perfect... I listened to this book 3 times over. I highly recommend it.

Hit the mark

Right from the get-go, this book hits the mark. I felt it delivered what it promised, and for me it was a case of 'right book, right time'. It is very easy to listen to. I would highly recommend it for those in 'relationship ambivalence'. It promises clarity, and delivers. The rest is up to you.

This book helped me get to the next step

I didn’t know I wasn’t alone in my my confusion in my marriage until I found this book. It helped clarify I’m definitely not! And I’m not wrong for my feelings and disappointments.