Born for Love

Why Empathy Is Essential - and Endangered

By: Bruce D. Perry, Maia Szalavitz

Narrated by: Corey M. Snow

From birth, when babies' fingers instinctively cling to those of adults, their bodies and brains seek an intimate connection - a bond made possible by empathy, the remarkable ability to love and to share the feelings of others. In this unforgettable book, award-winning science journalist Maia Szalavitz and renowned child psychiatrist Bruce D. Perry explain how empathy develops, why it is essential both to human happiness and for a functional society, and how it is threatened in a modern world.

©2010 Maia Szalavitz and Bruce D. Perry (P)2015 Tantor

Critic reviews

" Born for Love is truly fascinating." (Gretchen Rubin, author of The Happiness Project)

A good read to do twice in a row

There is so much helpful information. A lot of scientific references were hard to comprehend, but as I got to the end chapters I was really starting to comprehend and tie ideas together. Thank you for teaching my more about empathy and compassion. My major in school is Community Health Administration and the topics of empathy and compassion in a neurological and scientific sense is important.

Perfect Mix of Storytelling and Scientific Study

While this book focuses heavily on the empathy developed in childhood and infants, this book does make it clear that it can be developed and improved throughout life. I thought that was an excellent point to be made and providong a sense of hope to readers.
The book also highlights the work of others in studying and developing empathy. It also includes specific policies and practices we can use as individuals and society to foster the growth of empathy.
His statements based on research and personal stories from people he works or spoke to compliment each other perfectly. The audio and reader were also great.

Must Read

A must read to understand the vital importance of connection for every woman/man and humanity. Our society has become socially impoverished and is growing more so; we must turn this ill trend. This book is convicting, yet hopeful. Read...

I'm hopeful

Most of the studies in this book are not recent, but the hope for children is. I found this book after reading Oprah Winfrey's book, "What Happened to you," which includes Dr. Perry. I wish Dr. Perry had narrated this book because I wondered if the inflection and emphasis in some section would have been different. I love learning about the force behind these programs that will slowly alter American society and IMHO make this country shine as a leader in humane growth.

Considering what we know about the pervasiveness and impact of adverse childhood experiences, it seems intuitive that we would focus on treating childhood trauma as our first concern in education. We know what works and that the problems span every part of society, but the focus in education is academic achievement and discipline. Achievement is what we measure as progress and anything that interferes with 'that progress' is a burden to taxpayers that should be excluded or molded for the sake of the good children and good schools. Framing our goal as empathy and our expectations of childhood where trauma as common, changes the paradigm of what we should be measuring schools on. How empathetic our our schools, day care, and psychologists? Why do women need to see a trauma psychologist when experiencing spousal abuse to avoid the focus on saving the marriage as a social solution?

I especially liked the discussion on diet, exercise, and human touch as a basic need with massive therapeutic benefit. The discussion on the influence of oxytocin in the mother child bond is long overdue. We are biological creatures on an unstable landscape and the temptation to address violence with violent discipline is truly in our DNA.

I am afraid that parental inclusion in public education is problematic. My experience is that of educators,including special ed teachers, collaborating with administrators to bully weak parents in schools where soccer moms rules in political armies. I don't think schools can reach these goals through self-governance. Perhaps a check and balance system outside of school influence that oversees empathy and health, with the authority to insure s a child's needs are appropriately addressed, would be more effective than our current system. (Something more accessible that suing the school for special ed resource which is ineffective).

We have missed the boat on diet and exercise , so, I guess progress is slow. I like to study children in history because I am more hopeful progress is evolving.

Amazing as always

Dr Perry’s books are always amazing and well worth the reading. Anyone in the helping profession should be required to read them.

Insightful Read

This book highlights the importance of empathy and kindness in a way that allows you to reflect on your life and those you grew up with, and who you are today.

As always I am not disappointed

Bruce and Maia have such great insights. The stories they use to relay the research is always fantastic.

Empathy is learned in the home

Empathy starts in the home with good enough parenting and sometimes with not so good parenting. Fascinating true stories are told to get a better understanding of what is needed to learn and feel empathy for self and others.
Listening to this book was not always easy but it is well worth the time and discomfort to learn this important information. There are proven ways to improve your life your children's life and the life of others. A must-read!

thank you Dr Berry!

This book on empathy and your subsequent book with Oprah have been very helpful to
understanding my early childhood experiences and how they reflect in my adult life. heartfelt thanks . 🙏.

Dr Perry is well worth your time!

Just a great book on child development in general and human relationships. I’ll be listening to this one again someday soon I hope.