How I Lost You
A Novel
Failed to add items
Add to Cart failed.
Add to Wish List failed.
Remove from wishlist failed.
Adding to library failed
Follow podcast failed
Unfollow podcast failed
$0.99/mo for the first 3 months
Prime members: New to Audible? Get 2 free audiobooks during trial.
How I Lost You
Buy for $19.49
No default payment method selected.
We are sorry. We are not allowed to sell this product with the selected payment method
-
Narrated by:
-
Jennifer Ness
-
By:
-
Jenny Blackhurst
About this listen
A woman without a memory struggles to discover the truth about her past and her identity in this cerebral and dark thriller reminiscent of works by best-selling authors S. J. Watson and Ruth Ware.
I have no memory of what happened, but I was told I killed my son. And you believe what your loved ones, your doctor, and the police tell you, don't you?
My name is Emma Cartwright. Three years ago I was Susan Webster, and I murdered my 12-week-old son, Dylan. I was sent to Oakdale Psychiatric Institute for my crime, and four weeks ago I was released early on parole with a new identity and address and a chance to rebuild my tattered life.
This morning I received an envelope addressed to Susan Webster. Inside it was a photograph of a toddler called Dylan. Now I am questioning everything I believe because if I have no memory of the event, how can I truly believe he's dead?
If there was the smallest chance your son was alive, what would you do to get him back?
©2014 Jenny Blackhurst. Originally published in Great Britain in 2015 by Headline Publishing Group. Published by arrangement with Jenny Blackhurst Books Limited. (P)2014 Headline Digital. All rights reservedListeners also enjoyed...
-
Before I Let You In
- By: Jenny Blackhurst
- Narrated by: Jennifer Ness
- Length: 10 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 58
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 53
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 52
Karen, Eleanor, and Bea have been best friends since childhood. They know everything about each other’s lives, or at least they think they do. Now in their thirties, though their lives are beginning to diverge: Eleanor is a young wife and mother who is struggling; Bea is happy being single - or so she lets people think; and Karen is a psychiatrist who, despite the secrets in her past, considers herself the anchor of the group. But when she takes on a new patient with issues she just can’t quite put her finger on, she begins to realize she may have put her dearest friends in danger.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Excellent!
- By PollyAnna2 on 04-19-18
By: Jenny Blackhurst
-
The Girlfriend
- By: K.L. Slater
- Narrated by: Clare Corbett
- Length: 8 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 4,831
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 4,607
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 4,603
The doorbell rings, just days after my beloved husband’s sudden death. I don’t recognise the woman on our doorstep, with her blonde highlights, a diamond bracelet identical to my own and a bouncing baby boy in her arms. As I show her inside, I notice her eyes grow wide as she takes in our spacious hallway, and the big squashy sofas that we all used to pile on. She glances at the silver-framed family photos and my little daughter hiding behind my skirts. She looks at me, her blue eyes serious. ‘I’m sorry’ she says. ‘I am your husband’s girlfriend. And this is his son.'
-
3 out of 5 stars
-
Uh, what?
- By Karyn Cavanaugh on 02-22-23
By: K.L. Slater
-
Do I Really Know You?
- By: Sheryl Browne
- Narrated by: Tamsin Kennard
- Length: 10 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 111
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 103
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 103
Maddie and Kiara have been best friends since they met on their first day at university. They have always shared everything with each other--everything except one big secret, which Kiara knows would tear them apart…. When the police knock on Maddie’s front door as she and husband Nick are getting ready for the morning school run, she’s not expecting to hear what they have to tell her. Kiara is dead.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Clever! Complexellent! Compelling!
- By Karenique on 08-02-22
By: Sheryl Browne
-
The Maid's Diary
- A Novel
- By: Loreth Anne White
- Narrated by: Jane Oppenheimer
- Length: 12 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 3,865
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 3,506
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 3,496
Kit Darling is a maid with a snooping problem. She’s the “invisible girl,” compelled to poke into her wealthy clients’ closely guarded lives. It’s a harmless hobby until Kit sees something she can’t unsee in the home of her brand-new clients: a secret so dark it could destroy the privileged couple expecting their first child. This makes Kit dangerous to the couple. In turn, it makes the couple—who might kill to keep their secret—dangerous to Kit.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Dark, powerful, twisty thriller
- By MA Reviewer on 03-04-23
-
The Lodge
- By: Sue Watson
- Narrated by: Tamsin Kennard, Alison Campbell
- Length: 9 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 574
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 538
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 538
Two days ago, the Wilson family checked into the imposing, glass-fronted Lodge, surrounded by snow and perched perilously on the edge of a cliff looking out to a gray sea. Not everyone was looking forward to the family get-together. But mother-in-law Angela insisted the winter trip would help heal their rifts....
-
3 out of 5 stars
-
More like 3.5
- By ROBIN on 12-01-23
By: Sue Watson
-
The Family Holiday
- By: Shalini Boland
- Narrated by: Katie Villa
- Length: 7 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 2,132
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,909
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 1,900
The white-washed Italian villa is perfect. I thought it might feel odd, living in a stranger’s house for the summer, but as my husband and children swim in the infinity pool, I start to relax. And then, in the back of a wardrobe, I find something that shatters everything.... Sparkling green eyes, square jaw, lopsided smile. A young man with his arm around a beautiful woman. The picture is old and faded, but I’d recognize him anywhere. The man is my husband.
-
2 out of 5 stars
-
Remarkably Terrible
- By Bitten and Seven Forever on 04-02-22
By: Shalini Boland
-
Before I Let You In
- By: Jenny Blackhurst
- Narrated by: Jennifer Ness
- Length: 10 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 58
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 53
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 52
Karen, Eleanor, and Bea have been best friends since childhood. They know everything about each other’s lives, or at least they think they do. Now in their thirties, though their lives are beginning to diverge: Eleanor is a young wife and mother who is struggling; Bea is happy being single - or so she lets people think; and Karen is a psychiatrist who, despite the secrets in her past, considers herself the anchor of the group. But when she takes on a new patient with issues she just can’t quite put her finger on, she begins to realize she may have put her dearest friends in danger.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Excellent!
- By PollyAnna2 on 04-19-18
By: Jenny Blackhurst
-
The Girlfriend
- By: K.L. Slater
- Narrated by: Clare Corbett
- Length: 8 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 4,831
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 4,607
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 4,603
The doorbell rings, just days after my beloved husband’s sudden death. I don’t recognise the woman on our doorstep, with her blonde highlights, a diamond bracelet identical to my own and a bouncing baby boy in her arms. As I show her inside, I notice her eyes grow wide as she takes in our spacious hallway, and the big squashy sofas that we all used to pile on. She glances at the silver-framed family photos and my little daughter hiding behind my skirts. She looks at me, her blue eyes serious. ‘I’m sorry’ she says. ‘I am your husband’s girlfriend. And this is his son.'
-
3 out of 5 stars
-
Uh, what?
- By Karyn Cavanaugh on 02-22-23
By: K.L. Slater
-
Do I Really Know You?
- By: Sheryl Browne
- Narrated by: Tamsin Kennard
- Length: 10 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 111
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 103
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 103
Maddie and Kiara have been best friends since they met on their first day at university. They have always shared everything with each other--everything except one big secret, which Kiara knows would tear them apart…. When the police knock on Maddie’s front door as she and husband Nick are getting ready for the morning school run, she’s not expecting to hear what they have to tell her. Kiara is dead.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Clever! Complexellent! Compelling!
- By Karenique on 08-02-22
By: Sheryl Browne
-
The Maid's Diary
- A Novel
- By: Loreth Anne White
- Narrated by: Jane Oppenheimer
- Length: 12 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 3,865
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 3,506
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 3,496
Kit Darling is a maid with a snooping problem. She’s the “invisible girl,” compelled to poke into her wealthy clients’ closely guarded lives. It’s a harmless hobby until Kit sees something she can’t unsee in the home of her brand-new clients: a secret so dark it could destroy the privileged couple expecting their first child. This makes Kit dangerous to the couple. In turn, it makes the couple—who might kill to keep their secret—dangerous to Kit.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Dark, powerful, twisty thriller
- By MA Reviewer on 03-04-23
-
The Lodge
- By: Sue Watson
- Narrated by: Tamsin Kennard, Alison Campbell
- Length: 9 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 574
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 538
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 538
Two days ago, the Wilson family checked into the imposing, glass-fronted Lodge, surrounded by snow and perched perilously on the edge of a cliff looking out to a gray sea. Not everyone was looking forward to the family get-together. But mother-in-law Angela insisted the winter trip would help heal their rifts....
-
3 out of 5 stars
-
More like 3.5
- By ROBIN on 12-01-23
By: Sue Watson
-
The Family Holiday
- By: Shalini Boland
- Narrated by: Katie Villa
- Length: 7 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 2,132
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,909
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 1,900
The white-washed Italian villa is perfect. I thought it might feel odd, living in a stranger’s house for the summer, but as my husband and children swim in the infinity pool, I start to relax. And then, in the back of a wardrobe, I find something that shatters everything.... Sparkling green eyes, square jaw, lopsided smile. A young man with his arm around a beautiful woman. The picture is old and faded, but I’d recognize him anywhere. The man is my husband.
-
2 out of 5 stars
-
Remarkably Terrible
- By Bitten and Seven Forever on 04-02-22
By: Shalini Boland
-
The Silent Bride
- By: Shalini Boland
- Narrated by: Katie Villa
- Length: 8 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 637
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 599
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 599
Alice and Seth are a perfect love story: the handsome doctor and his beautiful fiancée. They’re wealthy, well liked and made for each other—the envy of all their friends. Alice can’t wait for the day of their dream wedding. But when she arrives at the altar, she doesn’t recognise the man waiting to marry her. When this stranger insists he’s Seth, her husband-to-be, the entire congregation seems to agree. Even her parents try to persuade Alice to go through with the wedding.
-
1 out of 5 stars
-
Too Slow
- By Aiyisha Adams on 06-09-23
By: Shalini Boland
-
A Slow Fire Burning
- A Novel
- By: Paula Hawkins
- Narrated by: Rosamund Pike
- Length: 9 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 6,291
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 5,662
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 5,636
When a young man is found gruesomely murdered in a London houseboat, it triggers questions about three women who knew him. Laura is the troubled one-night-stand last seen in the victim’s home. Carla is his grief-stricken aunt, already mourning the recent death of yet another family member. And Miriam is the nosy neighbor clearly keeping secrets from the police. Three women with separate connections to the victim. Three women who are – for different reasons – simmering with resentment. Who are, whether they know it or not, burning to right the wrongs done to them.
-
2 out of 5 stars
-
This book should have a DISCLAIMER!
- By Amazon Customer on 09-06-21
By: Paula Hawkins
-
All the Little Raindrops
- A Novel
- By: Mia Sheridan
- Narrated by: Jesse Vilinsky, Aaron Shedlock, Christopher Lane, and others
- Length: 13 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 2,163
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 2,076
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 2,076
It’s senior-year spring break, and Noelle Meyer and Evan Sinclair have been kidnapped. Neither knows why they were chosen, only that they share a tragic past: Evan’s father got away with killing Noelle’s mother, effectively ruining her family when the death was ruled an accident. Despite the connection that should have made them enemies, the teens instead unite to face their other common denominator—their abductors. Noelle and Evan survive one sadistic circumstance after another, eventually making a harrowing escape. But every happy ending comes at a price…
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
The sins of there fathers
- By Buzy_reading on 11-10-23
By: Mia Sheridan
-
The Overnight Guest
- By: Heather Gudenkauf
- Narrated by: Brittany Pressley
- Length: 9 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 3,182
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 2,884
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 2,878
True crime writer Wylie Lark doesn’t mind being snowed in at the isolated farmhouse where she’s retreated to write her new book. A cozy fire, complete silence. It would be perfect, if not for the fact that decades earlier, at this very house, two people were murdered in cold blood and a girl disappeared without a trace.
-
1 out of 5 stars
-
Not for me.
- By Mark D on 01-31-22
-
The Secret Mother
- By: Shalini Boland
- Narrated by: Katie Villa
- Length: 6 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 5,617
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 4,967
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 4,939
"Are you my mummy?" Tessa Markham returns home to find a child in her kitchen. He thinks she’s his mother. But Tessa doesn’t have any children. Not anymore. She doesn’t know who the little boy is or how he got there. After contacting the police, Tessa is suspected of taking the mystery child. Her whole life is turned upside down. And then her husband reveals a secret of his own. Tessa isn’t sure what to believe or who to trust. Because someone is lying. To find out who, she must confront her painful past. But is the truth more dangerous than Tessa realises?
-
3 out of 5 stars
-
thanks
- By LaDawn Rowe on 12-23-19
By: Shalini Boland
-
Missing Molly
- By: Natalie Barelli
- Narrated by: Lucy Price-Lewis
- Length: 7 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 19,898
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 17,984
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 17,884
Everyone has secrets, and Rachel Holloway is no exception. She’s worked hard to keep the past where it belongs: dead and buried. And so far, she’s been very successful. But now the small newspaper where she works wants to produce a podcast on a cold case: the disappearance 12 years ago of young Molly Forster. Some secrets should never see the light of day, and, as far as Rachel is concerned, whatever happened to little Molly is one of them.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Thrilling -from a verified Audible Junkie
- By Katie LeF on 04-22-19
By: Natalie Barelli
-
The Narrator
- By: K. L. Slater
- Narrated by: Clare Corbett, Kristin Atherton
- Length: 8 hrs and 5 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 4,106
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 3,913
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 3,911
When the call came it seemed like the answer to my prayers. My career as a voice actor had been over for months and me and my little girl Scarlet were living back at my mum’s place. I felt like a failure professionally—and with Scarlet having problems at school, as a parent as well. So, when I was asked to narrate a new book by disappeared novelist Philippa Roberts I jumped at the chance, even if it meant leaving Scarlet with my ex, Hugo, for a few weeks. Hugo, with his perfect new home and his perfect new girlfriend Saskia. But this isn’t a dream come true. It’s a nightmare.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Love but it's a production issue!
- By Mary on 09-02-22
By: K. L. Slater
-
Black Heart
- Detective Dan Riley, Book 1
- By: Anna-Lou Weatherley
- Narrated by: James Lailey
- Length: 9 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 5,822
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 5,481
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 5,467
When Nigel Baxter, a middle-aged married banker with an unremarkable past, is found dead in the bath of a plush hotel suite, his wrists slit, it looks as if he's taken his own life. At first. But when Detective Inspector Daniel Riley is assigned to the case, he soon realises all isn't as it first appears to be. When a postmortem shows Baxter was poisoned, Riley suspects foul play. And then there's the odd addition of a teddy bear left at the crime scene....
-
3 out of 5 stars
-
Difficult to Love
- By Lynn on 06-06-20
-
One of the Girls
- By: Lucy Clarke
- Narrated by: Natalie Simpson, Sofia Zervadachi
- Length: 10 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 676
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 618
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 615
It was supposed to be the perfect weekend away. Six very different women travel to a sun-soaked Greek island for a bachelorette trip, to celebrate Lexi’s upcoming wedding. From the glorious ocean views to the quaint tavernas and whitewashed streets, the vacation seems too good to be true. But dangerous undercurrents run beneath the sunset swims and midnight cocktails—because each of the women is hiding a secret. Someone is determined to make sure that Lexi’s marriage never happens—and that one of them doesn’t leave the island alive.
-
4 out of 5 stars
-
Found a new writer! 🎉
- By Mary Grady on 08-24-22
By: Lucy Clarke
-
The It Girl
- By: Ruth Ware
- Narrated by: Imogen Church
- Length: 17 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 10,886
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 9,845
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 9,815
April Clarke-Cliveden was the first person Hannah Jones met at Oxford. Vivacious, bright, occasionally vicious, and the ultimate It girl, she quickly pulled Hannah into her dazzling orbit. Together, they developed a group of devoted and inseparable friends—Will, Hugh, Ryan, and Emily—during their first term. By the end of the year, April was dead.
-
2 out of 5 stars
-
Way too long and way too whiney - needed editing
- By Lynn on 07-14-22
By: Ruth Ware
-
The Family Remains
- A Novel
- By: Lisa Jewell
- Narrated by: Dominic Thorburn, Bea Holland, Hugh Quarshie, and others
- Length: 11 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 4,128
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 3,791
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 3,771
Early one morning on the shore of the Thames, DCI Samuel Owusu is called to the scene of a gruesome discovery. When Owusu sends the evidence for examination, he learns the bones are connected to a cold case that left three people dead on the kitchen floor in a Chelsea mansion thirty years ago. Rachel Rimmer has also received a shock—her husband, Michael, has been found dead in the cellar of his house in France. All signs point to an intruder, and the French police need her to come urgently to answer questions about Michael and his past that she very much doesn’t want to answer.
-
1 out of 5 stars
-
It’s hard to understand
- By Avid series reader on 08-12-22
By: Lisa Jewell
-
The Lies We Told
- By: Camilla Way
- Narrated by: Sally Scott, Patience Tomlinson
- Length: 11 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 2,532
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 2,280
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 2,272
Beth has always known there was something strange about her daughter, Hannah. The lack of emotion, the disturbing behavior, the apparent delight in hurting others.... Luke comes from the perfect family, with the perfect parents. But one day, he disappears without a trace, and his girlfriend, Clara, is desperate to discover what has happened to him. As Clara digs into the past, she realizes no family is truly perfect and uncovers a link between Luke's long-lost sister and a strange girl named Hannah. Now Luke's life is in danger because of the lies once told and the secrets once kept.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Wow. Highly Recommended Mystery/Thriller
- By Jenn on 10-16-18
By: Camilla Way
What listeners say about How I Lost You
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars
-
Performance1 out of 5 stars
-
Story4 out of 5 stars
- Ben C
- 09-17-23
Good book
The story was good, but I almost did not finish because of the narrator. She had so much spit in her mouth and kept smacking when she started a sentence.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!