Funny Science Fiction Fantasy

The story is supposed to be over. Simon Snow did everything he was supposed to do. He beat the villain. He won the war. He even fell in love. Now comes the good part, right? Now comes the happily ever after.... So why can’t Simon Snow get off the couch? What he needs, according to his best friend, is a change of scenery. That’s how Simon and Penny and Baz end up in a vintage convertible, tearing across the American West. They find trouble, of course. (Dragons, vampires, skunk-headed things with shotguns.) And they get lost.

After saving the grim and gritty alien city of Down Here from something big, mean, and mind-bendingly horrible, Dan is looking forward to unwinding in the closest available bar. Annoyingly, the universe has other ideas. Instead, Dan finds himself investigating a cheating husband, two horrible murders, and the potential enslavement of everyone in the galaxy. With his caseload stretching his woefully limited detective skills, his car in pieces, and the whole "being dead" thing not doing him any favors, Dan has no choice but to ask his friends for help.

Trauma is a fact of life. Veterans and their families deal with the painful aftermath of combat; one in five Americans has been molested; one in four grew up with alcoholics; one in three couples have engaged in physical violence. Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, one of the world’s foremost experts on trauma, has spent more than three decades working with survivors. In The Body Keeps the Score, he uses recent scientific advances to show how trauma literally reshapes both body and brain, compromising sufferers’ capacities for pleasure, engagement, self-control, and trust.

Tamsyn Muir’s Gideon the Ninth unveils a solar system of swordplay, cut-throat politics, and lesbian necromancers. Her characters leap out of the audio, as skillfully animated as arcane revenants. The result is a heart-pounding epic science fantasy. Brought up by unfriendly, ossifying nuns, ancient retainers, and countless skeletons, Gideon is ready to abandon a life of servitude and an afterlife as a reanimated corpse.

One day a little creeper wakes up and decides to leave the cave in order to explore the wider world. He's friendly to everyone and would really like to make some noncreeper friends. However, most of the beings he encounters seem to be scared of him. Can the friendly creeper convince those he meets that he means them no harm, or will he be forced to become a dangerous creeper like his peers?

Elijah Muddle’s life changed in an instant. The son of a spiteful and mean manure farmer, Elijah now has become an apprentice to the town’s warlock, Caliban. The chance to escape his terrible father and learn magic? It’s a dream come true! Until...it turns out that Elijah’s internal magic is wonky, and he is the absolute worst warlock ever - all his spells go wildly wrong, causing both hilarious and disastrous consequences all over town.

When petty criminal Cal Carver is locked in a cell with a deranged, semi-naked cannibal, he suspects his life has hit its lowest point. He is mistaken. Abducted by aliens and whisked across the galaxy, Cal is thrown into a team of misfits and criminals and sent on a top secret mission for the president of Space. And that's when everything starts to go very, very wrong....

S.T., a domesticated crow, is a bird of simple pleasures: hanging out with his owner Big Jim, trading insults with Seattle's wild crows (i.e. "those idiots"), and enjoying the finest food humankind has to offer: Cheetos®. Then Big Jim's eyeball falls out of his head, and S.T. starts to think something isn't quite right. Even the slobbering affection of Big Jim's loyal but dim-witted dog, Dennis, fails to cure Big Jim's debilitating malady. S.T. is left with no choice but to abandon his old life and venture out into a wild and frightening new world with his trusty steed Dennis.

The Cryptids have started to kill a large amount of humans in the Upper Midwest. Banks' bosses told her not to call in the Cryptid Assassin.... He's too expensive. Now, the showdown between Taylor and the creatures will stop when one or the other is dead...and it isn't looking good for Taylor.

Special Agent Niki Banks has called in a favor, and now Taylor has a young hacker with an attitude as an employee. Along with new monsters to kill, a business to get off the ground, a relationship with an annoying FBI handler to...deal with, Taylor is becoming a surrogate male figure for a role he didn't want. But he may be the best man for the job.

One night with a superpowered babe. Alan Star thinks he's the luckiest guy in the world, but fantasy turns into nightmare when a late-night meetup with a heroine turns deadly. To the dismay of the powers-in-charge, Alan has stumbled upon the dirty truth behind the squeaky-clean image of the hero business. Soon, everyone from government black ops to angry superpowered flames want to shut him up. Permanently. With nowhere else to run, Alan escapes to the one place that the heroes won't go: the underground world of a fabled hero-killer. There, he discovers the key to becoming the greatest hero...

Fifi is one of the kindest fairies in all of Sunflower Grove. She will do anything in her power to help maintain the magic of the home that she loves so much. When something - or someone - appears to be stealing precious water from the soil, Fifi and her fairy friends will stop at nothing to restore the nature around them, even if it means going up against one of their own. If you like magic, kid's fairy tales and stories with heart, you'll love The Fairies of Sunflower Grove series!

When half your galaxy is unexpectedly sucked into a black hole - when a hitherto-unknown species of space aliens lays waste to your home planet - when disaster rears its ugly head (or heads) - who can you call for faster-than-light appraisals and best-in-the-multiverse customer service? Just one man - Tom Stranger, Interdimensional Insurance Agent. In this latest chapter of his interstellar exploits, Tom is about to deliver a crushing performance evaluation to Jimmy the Intern when the unimaginable happens: The beloved Wendell the Manatee has been kidnapped!

“Before I can begin my tale, you need to know about the king's panties.” So begins the epic adventure of 14-year-old Nigel, digger of latrines, shoveler of poop, and the single greatest threat to all the humans, elves, and halflings of Esteria. Nigel needs to escape from military school. Who can blame him? After all, the king just declared war on the gorks, and he's pretty sure his latrine-digging skills aren't going to be much good on the front lines.

Captain Willard Phule has whipped his troops into shape, turning Phule's Company from the laughingstock of the Legion into...a crack team of casino security guards. Now his company is deployed to help an underdeveloped planet. And what better way to utilize their major area of expertise - goofing off - than to turn the planet into the biggest intergalactic playground ever?

Fort Fitzgerald can’t stop having nightmares about the day his father was taken from him in an attack on Washington, DC. In these dreams, an Old One, an evil beyond comprehension, demands the location of the last dragon. But other than some dragon skeletons dug up with the books of magic on Discovery Day, Fort has never seen a dragon before. Could there still be one left alive? And weirdly, Fort’s not the only one at the Oppenheimer School having these nightmares. His new roommate, Gabriel, seems to know more than he’s letting on about this dragon as well.

For Milo, everything’s a bore. When a tollbooth mysteriously appears in his room, he drives through only because he’s got nothing better to do. But on the other side, things seem different. Milo visits the Island of Conclusions (you get there by jumping), learns about time from a ticking watchdog named Tock, and even embarks on a quest to rescue Rhyme and Reason. Somewhere along the way, Milo realizes something astonishing. Life is far from dull. In fact, it’s exciting beyond his wildest dreams.

Pandemonium: a twilight dimension of nightmare creatures, mythical beings, the undead, and everything in between. To Dead Jack, it’s hell sweet hell. In the first book of the series, the tortured, drug-addicted detective and his associate, the homunculus Oswald, face rogue leprechauns, ghost pirates, a sex-obsessed shark woman, sycophantic ghouls, an insecure fire demon, and a goateed maniac who calls himself the Duke of Pandemonium.

Superweapon stud? That's what the doctor ordered. The Beastmasters are dwindling. The Mekanics are growing bolder. Everyone's desperate for the next magic bullet. With no more Chimerics arriving, there's only one way to make more Beastmasters. Me. I'm not against making baby Beastmasters with the hotties on my squad. The problem is that they're not telling me everything. The last time they tried this, things got pretty ugly... All hell's breaking loose. Secrets are spilling left and right. Even my alien cat Zoe can't keep all the facts straight. And everyone wants a piece of me. There's ...

Jacques McKeown is the most celebrated author of star-pilot fiction in the galaxy. He's rich, famous, and living in luxury, and his universe-wide fanbase eagerly awaits any news of his next book. There's just one small hitch. He's not Jacques McKeown. He's Dashford Pierce, star pilot and con artist, and if only the impatient calls from his publisher were the worst of his problems. There's also the last vestige of the Henderson crime gang, trouble brewing in the retired star-pilot community, and a small matter of somebody trying to kill him.