Us, After

A Memoir of Love and Suicide

By: Rachel Zimmerman

Narrated by: Rachel Zimmerman

Length: 7 hrs and 6 mins

Publisher's summary

When a state trooper appeared at Rachel Zimmerman’s door to report that her husband had jumped to his death off a nearby bridge, she fell to her knees, unable to fully absorb the news. How could the man she’d married, a devoted father and robotics professor at MIT, have committed such a violent act? How would she explain this to her young daughters? And could she have stopped him?

A longtime journalist, she probed obsessively, believing answers would help her survive. She interviewed doctors, suicide researchers, and a man who jumped off the same bridge and lived.

Us, After examines domestic devastation and resurgence, digging into the struggle between public and private selves, life’s shifting perspectives, the work of motherhood, and the secrets we keep. In this memoir, Zimmerman confronts the unimaginable and discovers the good in what remains.

“This poignant, soul-baring memoir is truly one of the most moving accounts of grief, loss and resilience that I’ve read.”—Tara Parker-Pope, The Washington Post

©2024 Rachel Zimmerman (P)2024 Recorded Books

Gripping!

Amazing detailed story of surviving grief and finding forward movement while honoring such a special man. 🙏

Beautiful memoir of grief and life

Rachel’s exploration of her husband’s death and the impact on her life and the life of her daughters is moving and beautiful. A relatable and inspiring story for anyone who has experienced an important loss. It’s a reminder that we are not alone and life is worth living and fighting for.

Heartbreaking, but uplifting

Zimmerman’s memoir is a heartfelt and moving story about her husband’s sudden suicide, which left her and their two young daughters shocked and heartbroken. As a journalist, Zimmerman is determined to understand why her loving husband took such a drastic step and what drives other seemingly happy people to do the same. She dives into her personal story and combines it with her research on suicide, including interviews with psychiatrists and experts.

As a mom, Zimmerman’s top priority is making sure her daughters can still have happy, normal childhoods. The way the story jumps between events before and after the tragedy gives readers a better picture of what happened and how everyone coped.

Listening to the audiobook, narrated by Zimmerman herself, makes the emotions in the story feel even more real. And don’t worry, despite the heavy topic, the book ends on a hopeful note that leaves you feeling uplifted.

There’s no “good suicide”

Though it was mentioned a few times by the author it may help others to know before reading that the extraordinary resources, access and support, available to this family create a dreamscape for overcoming tragedy. So much so the author calls it a “good suicide”. Though unintended this feels dangerous for obvious reasons. Your family will not be better off without you.

As a survivor of familial suicide I found it engaging and well told but unrelatable. The privilege to have physical circumstances unchanged and access to so many experts to ask all the questions reads like a fairytale. It does help prove no matter how much money and determination there are no answers to why.

Surviving Suicide Loss

I’ll get the don’t-like out of the way. I don’t like that any of us have to experience the loss of a loved one to suicide. In shortest form, all our stories say how incredibly awful and barely survivable it is, and then gradually it gets better, and there are blobs of more awful and shining happiness along our path.

What I like the most is that Rachel, with her honesty, integrity, talent, skills, and everything else, was the person to write it. This book in this time should become the new classic read for those surviving the loss of a loved one to suicide. It has been 25 years for me but I was still riveted to the writing.

Couldn’t stop listening

A very real scenario. Rachel is a phenomenally gifted writer. Lots of wisdom in her words, with ten years of reflection.

Beautiful and gripping

What a beautiful and gripping story - and how Zimmerman presents the story, how it unfolds in the book, is masterful. Loved it.