Assume Nothing

A Story of Intimate Violence

By: Tanya Selvaratnam

Narrated by: Tanya Selvaratnam

Award-winning filmmaker Tanya Selvaratnam bravely recounts the intimate abuse she suffered from former New York State Attorney General Eric Schneiderman, using her story as a prism to examine the domestic violence crisis plaguing America.

When Tanya Selvaratnam met then New York State Attorney General Eric Schneiderman at the Democratic National Convention in July 2016, they seemed like the perfect match. Both were Harvard alumni; both studied Chinese; both were interested in spirituality and meditation, both were well-connected rising stars in their professions - Selvaratnam in entertainment and the art world; Schneiderman in law and politics.

Behind closed doors, however, Tanya’s life was anything but ideal. Schneiderman became controlling, mean, and manipulative. He drank heavily and used sedatives. Sex turned violent, and he called Tanya - who was born in Sri Lanka and grew up in Southern California - his “brown slave”. He isolated and manipulated her, even threatening to kill her if she tried to leave.

Twenty-five percent of women in America are victims of domestic abuse. Tanya never thought she would be a part of this statistic. Growing up, she witnessed her father physically and emotionally abuse her mother. Tanya knew the patterns and signs of domestic violence, and did not see herself as remotely vulnerable. Yet what seemed impossible was suddenly a terrifying reality: she was trapped in a violent relationship with one of the most powerful men in New York.

Sensitive and nuanced, with the gripping power of a dark psychological thriller, Assume Nothing details how Tanya’s relationship devolved into abuse, how she found the strength to leave - risking her career, reputation, and life - and how she reclaimed her freedom and her voice. In sharing her story, Tanya analyzes the insidious way women from all walks of life learn to accept abuse, and redefines what it means to be a victim of intimate violence.

Supplemental enhancement PDF accompanies the audiobook.

PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.

©2021 Tanya Selvaratnam (P)2021 HarperCollins Publishers

Beautifully Written

Thank you for sharing your story with the world! Thank you for standing up for women!

Beautifully written, both personal and political in scope.

This book is a beautifully written, and although much of the content is dark (the author is a victim of abuse and generously shares her story with us), the memoir is full of light. The author is intelligent, articulate, calm, fair minded. This work, her coming forward is inspirational, the boom has has a clarity of thought and argument that allows us access to this charged material, access to this as both a personal story and a broader political one, societal one. She also brings a POV about both race and class as well as gender that can sadly be missing from conversations about feminism. The warm, gentle but fearless tone of this work in addition to the brilliant writing makes it a must read / listen for anyone who wishes to live in a more just, safer world for all.

Truly Insightful and Inspiring!

Tanya's story, top to bottom, is one of the most difficult and emotional reads I've ever had. From her strength to share intimate and personal details about family, to the fact she provides detailed insight on how to help others who struggle with IPV... Tanya is a true "world breaker."

I hope other men read this and understand the impact of their actions in relationships.

I hope other women read this and know there's absolutely support out there.

Thank you, Tanya!

the detail picture painted for intimate partner violence

I appreciate her brave and would read her book again. I encourage people to read her book

An authentic account of strength, wisdom and conviction

This account of bravery beyond measure displays The author’s tremendous courage and determination in preventing other women from going through a similar experience. Relationship abuse and intimate partner violence are issues affecting all of us and it is courageous voices like Tanya’s that will help us all stand up to say “no more”.

After listening to this book I felt as if I had made a new friend. Tanya’s telling of her story is calm, balanced and vulnerable; and I found myself wanting more.

Absolutely Awesome!!!!!

This book is truly Amazing!! Tanya Selvaratnam you are a True Hero!!! Every woman should own this book!

Powerful and Brave

This is a very brave memoir by a bright ,very accomplished woman.
Tanya Selvaratnam courageously tells her story of
Her relationship and shocking,physical, sexual & emotional abuse by a man of huge power in the state oF NY, Eric Schneiderman - NYS AG
It’s terrifying to listen to and while you applaud her , you fear for her safety every step of the way.
Loved listening to the audible that the author narrates 🙏

A book for our time

The book, "Assume Nothing", by Tanya Selvaratnsam will haunt me. Being a domestic abuse survivor, I am a sister to intimate partner abuse . All abuse is wrong and Tanya explains why in simple and concise terms. I love how she talks about it with the " Me-Too" movement , the Black Lives Matter protest and the Trump Administration in the backdrop. It gives a totally different perspective to all of these events; a nightmare in a sea of bad dreams. Most of all I love how she constantly reminds us of where she was in her life when she was drawn in; between suffering and healing which makes it all too clear how easily one can fall into the arms of an abuser. This should be required reading for all women.

Everyone should read

We've either experienced this kind of abuse or we know someone who has. Thank you for sharing, it helps those of us who still can't share what happened.

Powerfully Shared. Disturbing and Timely.

Tanya spoke at a Women's event I attended, months before her book launched. She was transparent, engaging and clear about how important it is to share our stories. This book is important because it sheds light on how easy it is to get sucked in by charismatic men and how dangerous the outcomes can be. Everyone who reads this will remember. Warn your loved ones...better yet, tell them to read this book.