My Three-Year-Old Is a Barbarian and Other Parenting Problems
Misfits of Carnt, Book 1
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My Three-Year-Old Is a Barbarian and Other Parenting Problems
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Narrated by:
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Rebecca Woods
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By:
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Aaron Frale
About this listen
Necromantic rituals, murderous ogres, battle-scarred rangers: not a typical Saturday detention for unsuspecting teaching assistant Petra and her delinquent teen charges.
The Beaverton High School Breakfast Club show up for what they thought would be cleaning the locker room with a toothbrush when the morning goes horribly wrong, and they fall victim to a deadly, dark spell.
Some jerkwad moon mage shoves the consciousness of Petra's three-year-old into the body of a musclebound barbarian, and she is transformed into a halfling. The kids get stuck as a cleric, fire mage, and other stalwarts of your typical fantasy gaming party.
Now they must quest through a land of pissed-off warriors, angry giants, a pompous vampire, and a necromancer out to kill Petra and her child.
Despite being in a world where everything threatens to shuffle off her mortal coil, the hardest part is convincing a hulked-out man that the battle axe is not a toy, the undead are not cuddly, and he should use the potty.
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Story5 out of 5 stars 165,445
Ryland Grace is the sole survivor on a desperate, last-chance mission - and if he fails, humanity and the Earth itself will perish. Except that right now, he doesn't know that. He can't even remember his own name, let alone the nature of his assignment or how to complete it. All he knows is that he's been asleep for a very, very long time. And he's just been awakened to find himself millions of miles from home, with nothing but two corpses for company.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Bazinga
- By Davidgonzalezsr on 05-04-21
By: Andy Weir
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George Orwell’s 1984
- An Audible Original adaptation
- By: George Orwell, Joe White - adaptation
- Narrated by: Andrew Garfield, Cynthia Erivo, Andrew Scott, and others
- Length: 3 hrs and 27 mins
- Original Recording
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 8,083
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 7,693
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 7,692
It’s 1984, and life has changed beyond recognition. Airstrip One, formerly known as Great Britain, is a place where Big Brother is always watching, and nobody can hide. Except, perhaps, for Winston Smith. Whilst working at the Ministry of Truth, rewriting history, he secretly dreams of freedom. And in a world where love and sex are forbidden, where it’s hard to distinguish between friend and foe, he meets Julia and O’Brien and vows to rebel.
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5 out of 5 stars
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A Revelation!
- By wotsallthisthen on 04-07-24
By: George Orwell, and others
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Starter Villain
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: Wil Wheaton
- Length: 8 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 10,445
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 9,286
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 9,280
Inheriting your uncle's supervillain business is more complicated than you might think. Particularly when you discover who's running the place. Charlie's life is going nowhere fast. A divorced substitute teacher living with his cat in a house his siblings want to sell, all he wants is to open a pub downtown, if only the bank will approve his loan. Then his long-lost uncle Jake dies and leaves his supervillain business (complete with island volcano lair) to Charlie. But becoming a supervillain isn't all giant laser death rays and lava pits.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Volcanic Lairs, Death Rays & Cats… Oh My! 😼
- By C. White on 09-19-23
By: John Scalzi
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The Martian
- By: Andy Weir
- Narrated by: Wil Wheaton
- Length: 10 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 37,676
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 33,530
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Story5 out of 5 stars 33,426
Six days ago, astronaut Mark Watney became one of the first people to walk on Mars. Now, he's sure he'll be the first person to die there. After a dust storm nearly kills him and forces his crew to evacuate while thinking him dead, Mark finds himself stranded and completely alone with no way to even signal Earth that he’s alive - and even if he could get word out, his supplies would be gone long before a rescue could arrive. But Mark isn't ready to give up yet.
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1 out of 5 stars
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I love Wil Wheaton but why not R. C. Bray?
- By L. Newman on 01-11-20
By: Andy Weir
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Artemis
- By: Andy Weir
- Narrated by: Rosario Dawson
- Length: 8 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 94,513
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 86,520
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Story4 out of 5 stars 86,318
Jazz Bashara is a criminal. Well, sort of. Life on Artemis, the first and only city on the moon, is tough if you're not a rich tourist or an eccentric billionaire. So smuggling in the occasional harmless bit of contraband barely counts, right? Not when you've got debts to pay and your job as a porter barely covers the rent. Everything changes when Jazz sees the chance to commit the perfect crime, with a reward too lucrative to turn down.
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3 out of 5 stars
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A ferrari with no motor
- By will on 11-18-17
By: Andy Weir
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Temporal
- By: Julian Simpson, Richard MacLean Smith, Bec Boey, and others
- Narrated by: Nicola Walker, Sanjeev Bhaskar, Jessie Mei Li, and others
- Length: 4 hrs and 26 mins
- Original Recording
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 2,041
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,991
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Story4 out of 5 stars 1,992
In the not-too-distant future, a 21-member crew launches from Earth. Their mission: to establish a temporary colony on Mars. Little do they know that colony will become permanent–and the last stand of the human race. Because, without warning, every single person left on Earth simply...vanishes. Now, a thousand years later, the resources needed to sustain life are running out, and the very existence of the Mars colony is threatened. Humankind has only one option–to return to its home planet.
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3 out of 5 stars
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It was ok.
- By Cregg Terasa on 08-06-24
By: Julian Simpson, and others
What listeners say about My Three-Year-Old Is a Barbarian and Other Parenting Problems
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Shay
- 02-17-24
Fun-tasy
A funny book made even funnier by a fantastic audiobook narrator. She does great accents and gives a distinct personality to each of the characters. You can tell how much fun she had with the narration.
The book follows a distinct cast of characters you aren’t going to find anywhere else. A three year old trapped in an adult barbarian king’s body. An evil necromancer king who is embarrassed by his proud mama who just wants to cheer him on. A girl who uses photographic evidence of a magical realm to become an Instagram influencer. It’s a cool genre blend about average modern day people who find themselves body swapped and realm swapped with a gang of fantasy heroes. It’s fun watching all the different characters and pieces come together around the plot in a cohesive way.
The book doesn’t take itself too seriously either, and that makes space for plenty of jokes and references to slip in when you least expect it. The author does a great job subverting expectations and getting a laugh out of you over all the little details.
This book is just fun. If you like fantasy and comedy, this is the book to read/listen to.
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- Athena (OneReadingNurse)
- 02-09-24
hilarious story
This is so much fun and the narrator is absolutely amazing. I am not a fan of kids and she did a great job bringing out how annoying they are, plus a ton of other accents and fun things.
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