
More Bedtime Stories for Cynics
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2020 Audie Award, Humor
Nick Offerman and his posse of high-profile guests present this series of 12 short stories written in the style of classic kid’s tales, but with a decidedly adult approach.
If children's literature is any guide, we should all be able to magically fall asleep simply by saying goodnight to the things we can see from our beds. But any adult knows that our work anxieties and shameful memories would rather stay up all night and chat. That’s where Offerman and Co. come in—with clever and occasionally downright dark parodies of the classic kids genre. What really happened after Snow White died, from the perspective of the one medically trained dwarf? A naive wizard professor reports back from the trenches of an underprivileged school of magic. A middle-aged man is haunted by the voices of his own aging body. The stories will make you laugh, cry and probably squirm a little.
Performers include: Patrick Stewart, Alia Shawkat, Jane Lynch, Aparna Nancherla, Harry Goaz, Mike Birbiglia, Ellen Page, Rachel Dratch, Gary Anthony Williams, Nicole Byer, and Matt Walsh.
Please note that this audiobook contains explicit content.
©2018 Audible Originals, LLC (P)2019 Audible Originals, LLC.Los oyentes también disfrutaron...
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Nancy Kranich (played by Emmy-nominated actress Natasha Lyonne of Russian Doll and Orange Is the New Black) is a night nurse on an orbiting space station. But Nancy hates her job, is sick of space, and longs to find adventure and a safe place to smoke cigarettes that won’t blow everyone up. But when Nancy gets caught up in an outer-space conspiracy involving President Kennedy, former vice-president Richard Nixon, and an intergalactic object that could change the course of history, she gets way more adventure than she bargained for.
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Audie Award Winner, Humor, 2020
Our favorite moments from More Bedtime Stories for Cynics

About the Host
Best known as the indomitable Ron Swanson in the popular NBC television series Parks and Recreation, Nick Offerman is an uncommon quadruple threat: carpenter, comedian, actor, and author. Offerman first hit the New York Times bestseller list with the release of his semi-autobiographical work Paddle Your Own Canoe: One Man’s Fundamentals for Delicious Living, and followed it up with the best-selling Gumption: Relighting the Torch of Freedom with America’s Gutsiest Troublemakers and Good Clean Fun: Misadventures in Sawdust at Offerman Woodshop. Offerman co-wrote and co-narrated the Audie Award winning audiobook The Greatest Love Story Ever Told: An Oral History with his wife Megan Mullally. Currently he keeps busy producing and hosting a lighthearted crafting competition, Making It, alongside Amy Poehler for NBC.

About the Performer
Patrick Stewart is one of the most acclaimed performers working today, with numerous and varied roles on both the stage and screens big and small. He has been awarded multiple Golden Globe, Screen Actors Guild, Emmy, and Tony nominations for his work. Stewart was nominated for a Critics’ Choice Award for his performance in James Mangold’s Logan opposite Hugh Jackman. In addition to starring on the Starz comedy Blunt Talk as lead actor Walter Blunt, he also starred opposite Anton Yelchin in Jeremy Saulnier’s genre film Green Room which went to the Cannes Film Festival and Toronto International Film Festival. On Broadway and West End stages, Patrick has also appeared in A Life in the Theatre, The Master Builder, The Ride Down Mt. Morgan, and The Tempest. For his acclaimed solo production of A Christmas Carol, Stewart played over 40 characters, garnering an Olivier, Drama Desk, and WhatsOnStage Award.

About the Performer
Academy Award-winning actress and director Anjelica Huston continues her renowned family’s legacy in film. Throughout her career, Huston has received a Best Supporting Actress Oscar for her role as Maerose Prizzi in the black comedy Prizzi’s Honor, in which she starred opposite Jack Nicholson and Kathleen Turner. In 2005, Huston received a Golden Globe Award for her role in HBO’s original movie Iron Jawed Angels, in which she starred opposite Hilary Swank and Julia Ormond. Her directorial debut was an unflinching adaptation of Dorothy Allison’s best-selling memoir, Bastard Out of Carolina, which garnered Huston critical acclaim. She received an Emmy Award nomination for her work on the controversial drama, as well as a Directors Guild Award nomination. Huston is also a New York Times best-selling author. Her memoir A Story Lately Told: Coming of Age in Ireland, London, and New York was published in November 2013.

About the Performer
Aparna started out doing comedy in her hometown of Washington DC and now resides in New York City. She is a series regular in Comedy Central’s Corporate and has reprised her role of Anaya in season 3 of HBO’s Crashing. Aparna is also featured in the second season of Netflix’s The Standups. Other television credits include Netflix’s Master of None and Love, HBO’s High Maintenance, Comedy Central’s Inside Amy Schumer, and Hulu’s I Love You, America with Sarah Silverman. In 2018 she made her feature debut in the Paul Feig movie A Simple Favor. Aparna has been featured on and in NPR, Reader’s Digest, The Huffington Post, The Washington Post Magazine, XM Radio, and Slate V. She can regularly be seen performing at the Upright Citizen’s Brigade’s in LA and NYC. Her debut album Just Putting It Out There was released in July 2016 by Tig Notaro’s label Bentzen Ball Records and hit #4 on the Billboard Comedy Charts. Her TV writing credits include Late Night with Seth Meyers as well as being a regular correspondent/writer on FX’s Totally Biased with W. Kamau Bell.

About the Performer
Alia Shawkat stars in the Jax Media produced TBS series Search Party which she also produces. She can be seen in Comedy Central’s Broad City, HBO’s Getting On, Amazon's Transparent, and in her best known role as Maeby Fünke in the cult series Arrested Development. Shawkat also starred in Sophie Hyde’s Animals opposite Holliday Grainger which premiered at the Sundance Film Festival. She can be seen in Ethan Hawke’s film Blaze, in the thriller Green Room, and in the Paul Reubens and Judd Apatow Netflix feature Pee-wee’s Big Holiday. Alia's other feature credits include Paint It Black, Nasty Baby, Wild Canaries, Night Moves, The To Do List, The Final Girls, Me Him Her, The Driftless Area, 20th Century Women, and Izzy Gets the F Across Town. Shawkat also lent her voice to the Gimlet scripted podcast Sandra
opposite Kristen Wiig and Ethan Hawke. In addition to acting, Alia is a talented jazz singer, pianist, and an accomplished painter and illustrator.
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Heads Will Roll
- De: Kate McKinnon, Emily Lynne
- Narrado por: Kate McKinnon, Emily Lynne, Tim Gunn, y otros
- Duración: 4 h y 6 m
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Heads Will Roll is an Audible Original from Saturday Night Live star Kate McKinnon and her cocreator/costar (and real-life sister) Emily Lynne. Produced by Broadway Video, this is not an audiobook - it’s a 10-episode, star-studded audio comedy that features performances from Meryl Streep, Tim Gunn, Peter Dinklage, Queer Eye’s Fab Five, and so many more. Please note: This content is not for kids.
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More like this please
- De Anon893 en 05-03-19
De: Kate McKinnon, y otros
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Bedtime Stories for Cynics
- De: Dave Hill, Jessica Conrad, Sean Keane, y otros
- Narrado por: Nick Offerman, Phoebe Robinson, David Spade, y otros
- Duración: 1 h y 42 m
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Are the kids asleep? Yes? Good. This one isn’t for them. Now, if your weary, grown-up mind has been searching for a snarkier alternative to your favorite childhood tales, this Audible Original, hosted by Nick Offerman (Parks & Recreation), will scratch that itch - and then some. Enjoy a hilarious collection of short stories, featuring performances from the likes of Tommy Chong (Cheech & Chong), Tony Hale (Veep), Patton Oswalt (The Goldbergs), and David Spade (Saturday Night Live).
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It's Just...Alright.
- De Chelsea en 06-10-19
De: Dave Hill, y otros
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The Man Who Knew the Way to the Moon
- De: Todd Zwillich
- Narrado por: Todd Zwillich, Angelo Di Loreto
- Duración: 3 h y 32 m
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Without John C. Houbolt, a mid-level engineer at NASA, Apollo 11 would never have made it to the moon. Top NASA engineers on the project, including Werner Von Braun, strongly advocated for a single, huge spacecraft to travel to the moon, land, and return to Earth. It's the scenario used in 1950s cartoons and horror movies about traveling to outer space. Houbolt had another idea: Lunar Orbit Rendezvous. LOR would link two spacecraft in orbit while the crafts were travelling at 3,600 miles an hour around the moon. His plan was ridiculed and considered unthinkable.
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Caveat Emptor: Bone to Pick
- De Judah Family en 07-05-19
De: Todd Zwillich
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George Carlin Reads to You
- An Audio Collection Including Grammy Winners 'Braindroppings' and 'Napalm & Silly Putty'
- De: George Carlin
- Narrado por: George Carlin
- Duración: 7 h y 5 m
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If one George Carlin audio is funny, then two are funnier and three must be funniest, right? That's our thinking behind this new collection. t's a HighBridge library of laugh-out-loud, award-winning recordings featuring George himself performing many of his best bits.
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Like a Cast of Thousands
- De Rick en 07-16-12
De: George Carlin
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The Man on the Mountaintop
- An Audible Original Drama
- De: Susan Trott, Libby Spurrier - adaptor
- Narrado por: Stanley Tucci, Toby Jones, Clare Corbett, y otros
- Duración: 5 h y 45 m
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The Man on the Mountaintop tells the story of Holy Man Joe, an ageing and unassuming man who lives in a hermitage on top of a mountain. During the summer months, thousands of hopefuls line the path leading to his door, seeking his wisdom. From bombastic, wealthy nobles intent on cheating their way to the top to drunkards who gradually build the physical and mental strength they need to quit their addiction, The Man on the Mountaintop is a rousing tale full of humour, wit and life lessons.
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Great listen!
- De LisaMarie en 01-29-18
De: Susan Trott, y otros
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The Christmas Hirelings
- De: Mary Elizabeth Braddon
- Narrado por: Richard Armitage
- Duración: 3 h y 53 m
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Sir John Penlyon is planning to spend Christmas at his estate with his niece and his friend Danby, the closest thing he has to family since disowning his daughter years ago. (She eloped with the parson, who was, of course, penniless.) Danby suggests that at Christmastime the estate needs the presence of small children, and offers to find some - the “hirelings” - despite Sir John’s skepticism. Three children duly arrive, and the youngest, precocious four year-old Moppet, quickly endears herself to Sir John.
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Boring
- De Allen en 12-10-18
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Heads Will Roll
- De: Kate McKinnon, Emily Lynne
- Narrado por: Kate McKinnon, Emily Lynne, Tim Gunn, y otros
- Duración: 4 h y 6 m
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Heads Will Roll is an Audible Original from Saturday Night Live star Kate McKinnon and her cocreator/costar (and real-life sister) Emily Lynne. Produced by Broadway Video, this is not an audiobook - it’s a 10-episode, star-studded audio comedy that features performances from Meryl Streep, Tim Gunn, Peter Dinklage, Queer Eye’s Fab Five, and so many more. Please note: This content is not for kids.
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More like this please
- De Anon893 en 05-03-19
De: Kate McKinnon, y otros
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Rivals! Frenemies Who Changed the World
- De: Scott McCormick
- Narrado por: Prentice Onayemi, Samantha Turret, Khristine Hvam, y otros
- Duración: 2 h y 55 m
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Did you know that most of our dinosaur fossils were discovered because two grown men absolutely hated each other? It’s true! Rivals! Frenemies Who Changed the World is a riotous audio exclusive, like if Monty Python taught your history class. Each volume of four 30-minute histories will dig into the petty name-calling and grumbling grudges that led to many of the world’s greatest advancements, all delivered with a cheeky sense of humor. Choose sides: Cope or Marsh, the jerks who discovered so many dinosaurs; Hamilton or Burr, whose rivalry fueled American politics; and many more....
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Warning for parents...
- De Jetjaguar15 en 07-08-19
De: Scott McCormick
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Twain’s Feast
- De: Audible Originals
- Narrado por: Nick Offerman
- Duración: 4 h y 27 m
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Mark Twain, beloved American writer, performer, and humorist, was a self-proclaimed glutton. With the help of a chef and some friends, Nick Offerman presents the story of Twain’s life through the lens of eight of Mark Twain’s favorite foods.
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Audible Recycling
- De Greg Hill en 11-17-18
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Atomic Marriage
- De: Curtis Sittenfeld
- Narrado por: Diane Lane
- Duración: 58 m
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All marriages are hard. Many of them fail. Brock Lewis, an evangelical businessman turned self-published author, has the answer. Follow his international bestselling book’s 12-point “Atomic Doctrine” - make eye contact with your spouse? Always! Use the bathroom in front of them? Never! - and you, too, can build a marriage that thrives.
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Awful.
- De Amy en 01-04-19
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Foreverywhere
- De: Steve Burns, Steven Drozd, Gabe Soria
- Narrado por: Steve Burns, Carly Ciarrocchi, Stephanie Mayers
- Duración: 3 h
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Foreverywhere tells the tale of a young unicorn (perhaps the last on Earth?!) and his quest, along with a Giant named Rick, a spider named Betsy and the guitar-shredding Princess Rainbow, to form the best band in the fantastical world of Anyville. But first, they’ll have to contend with the increasingly strange weather that seems to follow Princess Rainbow everywhere, and a rival band determined to bring them down. Will this group of misfits be able to rise above?
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My new favorite Audible Original
- De GranularGray en 08-05-19
De: Steve Burns, y otros
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Herbie
- De: Rich Cohen
- Narrado por: Rich Cohen
- Duración: 2 h y 7 m
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Every life reaches that crucial intersection, the place where you must choose your fate, or have it chosen for you. For best-selling author Rich Cohen (The Fish That Ate the Whale, The Last Pirate of New York), it came in a writing workshop senior year in college, when, at 17, he had to knuckle under to a ruthless professor or make a righteous, self-defeating stand.
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Foul Language Warning
- De In SLC en 06-14-20
De: Rich Cohen
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True West
- De: Sam Shepard
- Narrado por: Kit Harington, Johnny Flynn
- Duración: 1 h y 27 m
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Kit Harington (Games of Thrones) and Johnny Flynn (Beast) smolder and burn as sparring brothers in Sam Shepard’s darkly comic 1980 drama. The live theatre production of True West was performed at the Vaudeville Theatre in London, United Kingdom, in 2019. It was produced by Joseph Smith and John Brant for Smith & Brant Theatricals and James Bierman for Empire Street Productions.
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Screenwriters, golf and brother's hate
- De Kingsley en 04-05-19
De: Sam Shepard
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Midnight Son
- De: James Dommek Jr., Josephine Holtzman, Isaac Kestenbaum
- Narrado por: James Dommek Jr.
- Duración: 3 h y 23 m
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James Dommek, Jr., an Alaska Native writer and musician, sheds new light on a real-life mystery that pits Native American folklore against the US justice system. In the vast Alaskan Arctic, legend has it there once lived a mythic tribe—Iñukuns—that only existed in rumors and whispers. This changed forever when an actor-turned-fugitive, Teddy Kyle Smith, had an encounter that brought Iñukuns from myth to reality. Smith was an aspiring actor with a promising career until it all came quickly crashing down with a gunshot, a manhunt, bloodshed, and other frightful events.
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It’s an Inuit Thing. You possibly don’t understand it.
- De Amazon Customer en 11-13-19
De: James Dommek Jr., y otros
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Escape from Virtual Island
- An Audio Comedy
- De: John Lutz
- Narrado por: Paul Rudd, Jack McBrayer, Sue Galloway, y otros
- Duración: 4 h y 28 m
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In the year 2038, there’s only one destination that can play host to the world’s wealthiest adventure seekers: the Pengalaman Island Resort and Virtual Reality Theme Park. Located on a private South Pacific island, guests here live out their wildest fantasies in custom-made virtual reality simulations while also enjoying the usual amenities of an exclusive five-star getaway. All is relatively breezy until famed billionaire and avid guest, Mr. Wagner, goes missing within a virtual simulation. His only hope? A daring rescue led by Derek Ambrose and his ragtag search party.
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Story is a Bit Stupid
- De Jeffrey veals en 04-03-20
De: John Lutz
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Nut Jobs: Cracking California's Strangest $10 Million Dollar Heist
- An Audible Original
- De: Marc Fennell
- Narrado por: Marc Fennell
- Duración: 3 h y 59 m
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It’s the $10 million heist you’ve never heard of. In a matter of months, dozens of truckloads disappeared from American highways. But what were they carrying? Nuts. Marc Fennell takes you into a rabbit hole of crime syndicates, stolen identities and private investigators that will change the way you think about food forever. Eighty per cent of the world’s almonds are grown in the heart of California, but this journey will take you to Italy, the Spanish coast, deep under the earth and even into space.
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Could have been interesting if...
- De M Ren en 06-09-20
De: Marc Fennell
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The Absolute Brightness of Leonard Pelkey
- De: Celeste Lecesne
- Narrado por: Celeste Lecesne
- Duración: 1 h y 2 m
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This live performance of a powerful police procedural comes to life through the artistry of Celeste Lecesne and is accompanied by the original music of Duncan Sheik. Celeste portrays every character in a small Jersey Shore town as they unravel the story of Leonard Pelkey, a tenaciously optimistic and flamboyant 14-year-old boy who has gone missing. A luminous force of nature whose magic is only truly felt once he is gone, Leonard becomes an unexpected inspiration as the town’s citizens question how they live, who they love, and what they leave behind.
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A Story About People Like Me, But Not For Us.
- De 'Nathan en 09-16-19
De: Celeste Lecesne
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Dodge & Twist
- An Audible Original Drama
- De: Tony Lee
- Narrado por: Matt Lucas, Stephen Mangan, Michael Socha, y otros
- Duración: 4 h y 56 m
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It’s rumoured that Dickens wanted to return to his classic novel Oliver Twist, to bring him back into a later book as an older character, but he never managed this before he died. However, if Oliver had returned, what would he have been like? Would the scars of his childhood affect the man he would become? And what of ‘Dodger’, sent to a land halfway around the world, his friend, mentor and master dead because of Oliver? Dodge & Twist is that story. The tale of two boys, 12 years later, returning into each other’s lives - for both good and bad.
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Excellent performance, pretty dismal story
- De Kevin en 02-04-19
De: Tony Lee
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The Dead Drink First
- De: Dale Maharidge
- Narrado por: Dale Maharidge
- Duración: 3 h y 31 m
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Dale Maharidge’s father, like many World War II veterans, never talked about “the good war”. There was just one clue to his dad’s experience as a US Marine - a portrait with a close friend that hung permanently in their home. In The Dead Drink First, Dale, now a Pulitzer Prize-winning author, recounts his 18-year quest to find and repatriate the missing remains of his dad’s buddy, Herman Walter Mulligan, 73 years after he was killed in action.
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read it even if it's not your usual genre
- De Kindle Customer en 06-07-19
De: Dale Maharidge
This audiobook is short enough to make a long drive more bearable, or play the stories a few at a time for commute listening.
Quirky and Enjoyable
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The stories were really fun !
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Funny!
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Then stories took weird turns and twists that were captivating and made walking my dog even more FUN!
My Favorite was Nick Offerman's Intro to the Dog
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I thoroughly enjoyed this book
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AMAZING!
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great performance
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This is the best book ever!
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Very funny and entertaining
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Nick Offerman is a national treasure.
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