All Rise
Audio Perambulation
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All Rise
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Narrated by:
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Nick Offerman
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By:
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Nick Offerman
About this listen
Spend a rollicking evening with Nick Offerman's All Rise, an evening of deliberative talking, mirth, and song that compels listeners to chuckle while also causing them to contemplate a better side of humanity than the one to which they've grown accustomed.
In Nick Offerman's view, we as a country can be doing a better job when it comes to decency. While most of the country has spent the last few years fighting about everything from politics to the existence of science, there are some things we can all agree about, like that we only really need one flavor of Oreo cookies. And that despite all the challenges we're currently facing, America can get it together if we can, simply, rise above it all, and admit that a lot what we're fighting about is actually pretty stupid, especially when told in Nick's signature comedic voice - songs included.
An Audiobook Original.
Cover illustration by Matt Davies
©2020 Nick Offerman (P)2020 Penguin AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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In this award-winning Audible Studios production, Trevor Noah tells his wild coming-of-age tale during the twilight of apartheid in South Africa. It’s a story that begins with his mother throwing him from a moving van to save him from a potentially fatal dispute with gangsters, then follows the budding comedian’s path to self-discovery through episodes both poignant and comical.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Great book and perfect narration
- By MarilynArms on 12-15-16
By: Trevor Noah
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The Best Man's Ghostwriter
- By: Matthew Starr
- Narrated by: Glen Powell, Nicholas Braun, Ashley Park, and others
- Length: 4 hrs and 37 mins
- Original Recording
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 916
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 886
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 886
A bad best man’s speech can ruin a wedding. Why do we plan every detail of a perfect day and then give the groom’s idiot best friend five minutes of total power? Enter Nate (Glen Powell), a speechwriter-for-hire who helps people write incredible best man speeches. To keep the best man from embarrassing himself (and the newlyweds), Nate uses his list of don’ts: Don’t mention the exes, don’t be rated R, and don’t bum everyone out. Nate’s system never fails. That is, until he meets Dan (Nicholas Braun).
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5 out of 5 stars
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SO GOOD
- By Csutty on 09-23-24
By: Matthew Starr
-
Slaughterhouse-Five
- By: Kurt Vonnegut
- Narrated by: James Franco
- Length: 5 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 18,949
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 16,938
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 16,913
Traumatized by the bombing of Dresden at the time he had been imprisoned, Pilgrim drifts through all events and history, sometimes deeply implicated, sometimes a witness. He is surrounded by Vonnegut's usual large cast of continuing characters (notably here the hack science fiction writer Kilgore Trout and the alien Tralfamadorians, who oversee his life and remind him constantly that there is no causation, no order, no motive to existence).
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4 out of 5 stars
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Don't Quit Your Daytime Job, James
- By Keith on 11-20-15
By: Kurt Vonnegut
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The Great Indoors
- By: Ginny Hogan
- Narrated by: Mae Whitman
- Length: 3 hrs and 53 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 279
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 273
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Story4 out of 5 stars 273
Alice's journey begins as all good journeys do: hitting on the sales guy at REI. After a tumultuous breakup, a quick career transition, family upheaval, and a sobriety journey that didn't fix her life quite as much as she expected it to, Alice decides that the only way to solve all her problems is to hike the Pacific Crest Trail. But as she begins preparing for the months-long quest, she realizes the answers she's seeking might not be on top of a snow-covered mountain. Especially since she just learned there was snow in California.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Chuck full of laughs to lift anyone's spirits.
- By Laura Boogaert on 09-22-24
By: Ginny Hogan
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I Can't Make This Up
- Life Lessons
- By: Neil Strauss - contributor, Kevin Hart
- Narrated by: Kevin Hart
- Length: 11 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 56,000
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 50,447
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 50,191
Superstar comedian and Hollywood box-office star Kevin Hart turns his immense talent to the written word by writing some words. Some of those words include: the, a, for, above, and even even. Put them together and you have the funniest, most heartfelt, and most inspirational memoir on survival, success, and the importance of believing in yourself since Old Yeller.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Best Audiobook I Ever Listened To
- By Sam Clear on 07-13-17
By: Neil Strauss - contributor, and others
-
The Perfect Find
- By: Tia Williams
- Narrated by: Wesleigh Siobhan
- Length: 11 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,590
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 1,466
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,463
Jenna Jones, former It-girl fashion editor, is broke and desperate for a second chance. When she’s dumped by her longtime fiancé and fired from Darling magazine, she begs for a job from her old arch nemesis, Darcy Vale. The beyond-bitchy publisher of StyleZine.com, Darcy agrees to hire her rival - only because her fashion site needs a jolt from Jenna’s old school cred. But Jenna soon realizes she’s in over her head.
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5 out of 5 stars
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A-FREAKING-MAZING!!!
- By Bernadette on 05-30-21
By: Tia Williams
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American Psycho
- By: Bret Easton Ellis
- Narrated by: Pablo Schreiber
- Length: 16 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 5,259
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 4,662
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 4,670
Patrick Bateman moves among the young and trendy in 1980s Manhattan. Young, handsome, and well educated, Bateman earns his fortune on Wall Street by day while spending his nights in ways we cannot begin to fathom. Expressing his true self through torture and murder, Bateman prefigures an apocalyptic horror that no society could bear to confront.
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4 out of 5 stars
-
Fanntastic book but maybe not for everyone....
- By So Fain on 03-27-11
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CRAY
- By: Darrell Hammond, Elizabeth Stein
- Narrated by: Darrell Hammond
- Length: 1 hr and 10 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 144
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 141
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 141
He is one of the longest-running cast members on Saturday Night Live, an American comedy genius renowned for his spot-on sendups of politicians and celebrities. But off-stage, Darrell Hammond’s life was anything but a joke. In CRAY, a special audio performance captured live onstage at Audible’s Minetta Lane Theatre, Hammond brings to life his acclaimed memoir, God, If You're Not Up There, I'm F*cked: Tales of Stand-Up, Saturday Night Live and Other Mind-Altering Mayhem.
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5 out of 5 stars
-
Thanks for sharing
- By Nickisnotgary on 09-06-24
By: Darrell Hammond, and others
-
Breakfast of Champions
- By: Kurt Vonnegut
- Narrated by: John Malkovich
- Length: 6 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 4,309
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 3,889
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 3,880
Breakfast of Champions (1973) provides frantic, scattershot satire and a collage of Vonnegut's obsessions. His recurring cast of characters and American landscape was perhaps the most controversial of his canon; it was felt by many at the time to be a disappointing successor to Slaughterhouse-Five, which had made Vonnegut's literary reputation.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Kurt Was Right to Grade This a C
- By Dubi on 01-10-16
By: Kurt Vonnegut
-
Heads Will Roll
- By: Kate McKinnon, Emily Lynne
- Narrated by: Kate McKinnon, Emily Lynne, Tim Gunn, and others
- Length: 4 hrs and 6 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 17,427
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 15,879
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 15,813
Heads Will Roll is an Audible Original from Saturday Night Live star Kate McKinnon and her cocreator/costar (and real-life sister) Emily Lynne. Produced by Broadway Video, this is not an audiobook - it’s a 10-episode, star-studded audio comedy that features performances from Meryl Streep, Tim Gunn, Peter Dinklage, Queer Eye’s Fab Five, and so many more. Please note: This content is not for kids.
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5 out of 5 stars
-
More like this please
- By Anon893 on 05-03-19
By: Kate McKinnon, and others
-
Napoleon's Hemorrhoids…And Other Small Events That Changed History
- By: Phil Mason
- Narrated by: LJ Ganser
- Length: 8 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 1,188
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 1,054
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 1,050
Hilarious, fascinating, and a roller coaster of dizzying, historical what-ifs, Napoleon's Hemorrhoids is a potpourri for serious historians and casual history buffs. In one of Phil Mason's many revelations, you'll learn that Communist jets were two minutes away from opening fire on American planes during the Cuban missile crisis, when they had to turn back as they were running out of fuel. You'll discover that before the Battle of Waterloo, Napoleon's painful hemorrhoids prevented him from mounting his horse to survey the battlefield.
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3 out of 5 stars
-
They just throw the facts too fast
- By Concerned_llama on 12-11-20
By: Phil Mason
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Growing a perfect moustache, grilling red meat, wooing a woman - who better to deliver this tutelage than the always charming, always manly Nick Offerman, best known as Parks and Recreation's Ron Swanson? Combining his trademark comic voice and very real expertise in woodworking - he runs his own woodshop - Paddle Your Own Canoe features tales from Offerman's childhood in small-town Minooka, Illinois, to his theater days in Chicago, beginnings as a carpenter/actor and the hilarious and magnificent seduction of his now-wife Megan Mullally.
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5 out of 5 stars
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On the need to acknowledge the role luck plays
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1 out of 5 stars
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By far his worst work to date.
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At last, the full story behind Megan Mullally and Nick Offerman's epic romance, including stories, portraits, and the occasional puzzle. How did they do it? They came from completely different families, endured a significant age difference, and were separated by the gulf of several social strata. Megan loved books and art history; Nick loved hammers. But much more than these seemingly unsurpassable obstacles were the values they held in common: respect, decency, the ability to mention genitalia in almost any context, and an abiding obsession with the songs of Tom Waits.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Not sure if I like or not.
- By KJ1022 on 10-03-18
By: Megan Mullally, and others
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Good Clean Fun
- Misadventures in Sawdust at Offerman Woodshop
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,626
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Nick shares his experience of working at the woodshop with his ragtag crew of champions, tells you all about his passion for the discipline of woodworking, and teaches you how to make two of the woodshop’s most popular projects along the way: a Pop Top bottle opener and a three-legged stool. This audiobook will take you behind the scenes of the woodshop, both inspiring and teaching you to make your own projects while besotting you with the infectious spirit behind the shop and its complement of dusty wood-elves.
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5 out of 5 stars
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A woodworking audiobook *yawn*
- By Chad E. Lindsey on 04-05-18
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Adam Savage is a maker. From Chewbacca’s bandolier to a 1,000-shot Nerf gun, he has built thousands of spectacular projects as a special-effects artist and the cohost of MythBusters. Adam is also an educator, passionate about instilling the principles of making in the next generation of inventors and inspiring them to turn their curiosity into creation. In this practical and passionate guide, Adam weaves together vivid personal stories, original sketches and photographs from some of his most memorable projects, and interviews with many of his iconic and visionary friends.
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3 out of 5 stars
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I love Adam Savage and I returned this book
- By Shane Brown on 06-18-19
By: Adam Savage
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On the need to acknowledge the role luck plays
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1 out of 5 stars
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By far his worst work to date.
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What listeners say about All Rise
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- dannyevans62
- 05-06-22
Simply hilarious.
Nick Offerman is a true gentleman who tells it like it is. I love his straight and to the point attitude. He's a great story teller. I would cover myself in melted cheese just to hear this man's voice narrate my life.
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Jessica Elaine
- 01-04-21
Good listen
I am a nick offerman fan and so I enjoyed this. if you are not, you wont.
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2 people found this helpful
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars
-
Story3 out of 5 stars
- Lucas Samples
- 12-03-20
I didn't know this was a stand up
I am not one for sing song stand up routines so I could not fully appreciate this work.
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1 person found this helpful
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Elizabeth P. Kelly
- 10-30-20
Nick Offerman is the Best!
Loved it!
Great satire with nuggets of wisdom.
Just brilliant!
I need to add more words so here you go.
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6 people found this helpful
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Corbet
- 10-16-20
Thank you The Daily Show!
So funny, poiniant and fu**ing sad. Nick's variety of stereotypes is spot on. Please give it a listen.
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9 people found this helpful
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Alonso Cardenas
- 11-03-20
Stand up comedy music show
Funny, moving & very relevant to today’s socio political situation Stand up comedy music show. Highly recommended.
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6 people found this helpful
-
Overall2 out of 5 stars
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Performance2 out of 5 stars
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Story1 out of 5 stars
- Thaddeus L.
- 01-05-23
Not that funny
Just an hour of a privileged white guy complaining about how bad white guys are.
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Overall1 out of 5 stars
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Performance1 out of 5 stars
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Story1 out of 5 stars
- Amazon Customer
- 11-19-20
From high atop Mt. Woke
Are you interested in hearing the Hollywood elite political narrative in the voice of Ron Swanson? Do you also believe white men are responsible for everything wrong with this country? Well take your kale-eatin finger, press purchase, and head to your favorite safe space. You're going to love it!
Nick is a rich white man who hates rich white men. Listen to this book to find out just how much Nick isn’t racist, homophobic, or sexist. Its virtue signaling at its worst.
This audiobook is a recording of a political rant slash stand up performance. Either it was a coffee shop size crowd or they didn't think it was funny either. Nick not only bombs on stage, he records it and sells it to his fans. I guess the joke is on us. Shame on you bro, you lost a long time fan. Audible was kind enough to give me my money back.
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8 people found this helpful
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Overall3 out of 5 stars
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Performance3 out of 5 stars
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Story2 out of 5 stars
- James Montesano
- 03-31-23
off the deep end
normally an enjoyable left of center, though able to see the fallacy of all, nick went off the deep end here. I've enjoyed most everything he does, but not this. Dem media rhetoric put to a tune. I'll go back to his books on wood only I guess.
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