Laid and Confused
Why We Tolerate Bad Sex and How to Stop
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Laid and Confused
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Narrated by:
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Maria Yagoda
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By:
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Maria Yagoda
About this listen
This program is read by the author.
A refreshingly honest, deeply researched, and frequently hilarious deep-dive into the cultural crisis of bad sex, as one brave sex columnist recruits the counsel of coaches, psychologists, pro-dommes, and peers in the pursuit of pleasure.
Far more alarming than the millennial “sex recession"—the phenomenon of young people having less sex than previous generations—is that we’re in the middle of a bad sex epidemic that all generations are suffering from. Despite major advances in sex education, positivity, and technology, we haven’t moved the needle on better. We’re still quietly enduring unsatisfying sex, whether that’s resigning ourselves to the same three positions we secretly hate, or lying when our Bumble date asks if we’re “close” after fifteen seconds of oral. We’ve been trained to optimize everything, except our own pleasure.
For journalist Maria Yagoda, bad sex was her villain origin story. After going viral for a column calling out bad sex on her college campus, she launched a career as a sex columnist, earning a global following for her wit, vulnerability, and expertise in her popular VICE series, Sex Machina. But even as a professional sex writer, most of the sex she was having landed somewhere between passable and “huh.” In search of understanding, she consulted sex therapists, psychologists, dominatrixes and sex toy creators, as well as young people of all genders and sexualities, putting her own sex life on the line—from hiring a sex coach to attending a “masturbation meditation” Zoom seminar—in order to pave a new path forward.
In the vein of Come as You Are for the Trick Mirror audience, Laid and Confused presents a fresh, funny, and compassionate analysis of our current sexual moment, and offers research-based tools that will empower listeners to craft the deeply pleasurable sex lives they deserve.
A Macmillan Audio production from St. Martin’s Press.
©2023 Maria Yagoda (P)2023 Macmillan AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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“Goofy, inclusive, and cheekily affirming, Laid and Confused digs into sexuality and pleasure with all the charm that made author Maria Yagoda’s Sex Machina column at VICE so beloved.” --Autostraddle
"An extraordinarily informative, inclusive, and entertaining book...Complete with both poignancy and humor, I found myself both nodding along and laughing out loud as I read this masterpiece. This book will spur you to think about why we tolerate bad sex—and importantly, to embrace pleasure as a fundamental human right.” –Laurie Mintz, licensed psychologist, certified sex-therapist and author of Becoming Cliterate: Why Orgasm Equality Matters—And How To Get It
“Maria Yagoda started writing about sex when she was at Yale and ten years later is still at it. In Laid and Confused: Why We Tolerate Bad Sex and How to Stop, Maria admits that after all that she's learned there's still more to find out and uses her own experiences to illuminate the path away from bad sex for her readers.” –Dr. Ruth K Westheimer
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 2,825
For much of the 20th and 21st centuries, women’s sexuality was an uncharted territory in science, studied far less frequently - and far less seriously - than its male counterpart. That is, until Emily Nagoski’s Come As You Are, which used groundbreaking science and research to prove that the most important factor in creating and sustaining a sex life filled with confidence and joy is not what the parts are or how they’re organized but how you feel about them.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Usless!!!
- By tammy on 03-04-21
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Bad Sex
- Truth, Pleasure, and an Unfinished Revolution
- By: Nona Willis Aronowitz
- Narrated by: Nona Willis Aronowitz
- Length: 9 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 75
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 64
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 64
At thirty-two years old, everything in Nona Willis Aronowitz’s life, and in America, was in disarray. Her marriage was falling apart. Her nuclear family was slipping away. Her heart and libido were both in overdrive. Embroiled in an era of fear, reckoning, and reimagining, her assumptions of what “sexual liberation” meant were suddenly up for debate.
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5 out of 5 stars
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I was born in the 50s, sexually active in the mid 70s
- By Pixel on 08-22-22
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Sexual Citizens
- A Landmark Study of Sex, Power, and Assault on Campus
- By: Jennifer S. Hirsch, Shamus Khan
- Narrated by: Laura Jennings
- Length: 11 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 67
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 57
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 56
The fear of campus sexual assault has become an inextricable part of the college experience. But why is sexual assault such a common feature of college life? And what can be done to prevent it? Drawing on the Sexual Health Initiative to Foster Transformation (SHIFT) at Columbia University, the most comprehensive study of sexual assault on a campus to date, Jennifer S. Hirsch and Shamus Khan present an entirely new framework that emphasizes sexual assault’s social roots
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3 out of 5 stars
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4 star ouch
- By Wild on 05-31-20
By: Jennifer S. Hirsch, and others
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Love and Limerence
- The Experience of Being in Love
- By: Dorothy Tennov
- Narrated by: Tanya Eby
- Length: 10 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 58
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 49
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 49
First released more than 40 years ago, Love and Limerence has become a classic in the psychology of emotion. As relevent today as it was then, this book offers insight into love, infatuation, madness, and all flavors of emotion in between.
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1 out of 5 stars
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rundown of surveys and stats
- By supermichelle on 12-28-22
By: Dorothy Tennov
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What Do Women Want?
- Adventures in the Science of Female Desire
- By: Daniel Bergner
- Narrated by: Charles Pasternak
- Length: 6 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 476
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 407
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Story4 out of 5 stars 402
When it comes to sex, common wisdom holds that men roam while women crave closeness and commitment. But in this provocative, headline-making book, Daniel Bergner turns everything we thought we knew about women's arousal and desire inside out. Drawing on extensive research and interviews with renowned behavioral scientists, sexologists, psychologists, and everyday women, he forces us to reconsider long-held notions about female sexuality.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Masterfully read, depressing yet thoughtful book
- By Boom Depleter on 10-10-14
By: Daniel Bergner
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The Men on My Couch
- True Stories of Sex, Love, and Psychotherapy
- By: Brandy Engler, David Rensin
- Narrated by: Abby Craden
- Length: 8 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 208
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 191
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 186
When Dr. Brandy Engler opened her sex therapy practice for women in Manhattan, she got a big surprise. Most of the calls were from men. They wanted to talk about womanizing, porn addiction, impotence, prostitutes - and most of all, love.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Not what you'd expect
- By J Lee on 03-26-13
By: Brandy Engler, and others