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Come As You Are: Revised and Updated

The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life

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Come As You Are: Revised and Updated

By: Emily Nagoski PhD
Narrated by: Emily Nagoski, Nicholas Boulton
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About this listen

A revised and updated edition of Emily Nagoski’s game-changing New York Times best seller Come As You Are, featuring new information and research on mindfulness, desire, and pleasure that will radically transform your sex life.

For much of the 20th and 21st centuries, women’s sexuality was an uncharted territory in science, studied far less frequently - and far less seriously - than its male counterpart.

That is, until Emily Nagoski’s Come As You Are, which used groundbreaking science and research to prove that the most important factor in creating and sustaining a sex life filled with confidence and joy is not what the parts are or how they’re organized but how you feel about them. In the years since the book’s initial publication, countless women have learned through Nagoski’s accessible and informative guide that things like stress, mood, trust, and body image are not peripheral factors in a woman’s sexual well-being; they are central to it - and that even if you don’t always feel like it, you are already sexually whole by just being yourself. This revised and updated edition continues that mission with new information and advanced research, demystifying and decoding the science of sex so that everyone can create a better sex life and discover more pleasure than you ever thought possible.

PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.

©2015, 2021 Emily Nagoski, Ph.D. All rights reserved. (P)2021 Simon & Schuster, Inc. All rights reserved.
Gender Studies Psychology Psychology & Mental Health Social Sciences Well-being Essentials Thought-Provoking Inspiring Funny Witty
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Featured Article: The Best Sex-Positive Books to Empower and Inspire You


Sex is a natural part of life, but it can sometimes feel like a taboo subject—which is a bit preposterous, considering how sex is linked to politics, gender, mental health, literature, and how we navigate the world. This list of the best sex-positive nonfiction books (with a few provocative fiction titles thrown in for good measure) is all about exploring the intricacies of sex with intelligence, humor, and insight. Discover these cross-genre voices.

Scientifically Backed Information • Empowering Personal Stories • Engaging Narration • Accessible Explanations
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Dr. Nagoski's revisions were necessary, due to some partners' incomprehension of the difference between desire and pleasure. Thanks to Dr. Nagoski for recognizing this issue publicly and addressing it with this new edition. I am in academia myself and am aware of the fragility of some egos in this domain. Dr. Nabisco handled the communicative shortcomings in the previous book with utter professionalism and with an eye to collaborative and affirming communication, most especially toward men in heterosexual partnerships. Good communication is important in partnerships between people of any gender identity and sexual orientation!

Excellent revisions

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Hi Emily, that feeling of gratitude that you described at the end of the book. Where you’re so thankful your heart is swollen and you want to get on your knees with tears in your eyes in front of a person. Well, that’s how I feel after finishing this book. My life is changed forever. Thank you. EVERY human on this planet needs to read this book. Here’s to sexual and emotional healing and freedom for every person on this spinning floating rock we call earth.

OH my WOW mind BLOWN

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Dr. Nagoski knows about the challenges women face, and cares deeply for their happiness. I’m a huge fan, and rather ashamed to belong to such a mysogynistic gender. Because, patriarchy. I learned a lot, and my admiration for women everywhere continues to grow. All men need to read this.

Passionate and knowledgeable - an excellent combination.

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Overall very good (and needed) book on the subject, but thought it was quite redundant at times. I get that as a teaching strategy but it kind of got old listening to it over and over.

Some things were oversimplified I thought, like “all the same parts arranged differently.” I mean on some level we’re all just protons/neutrons/electrons arranged differently, but that different arrangement makes a big difference from like, being a chicken or a chair.

I found myself asking a lot, so is there room for a sexual ethic in cultures or communities that automatically puts boundaries around certain sexual practices? I think she would say no, but I think there can be room for that and the book sort of dismisses it. I’ll have to think about that more.




Good Book, A Little Redundant at Times

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This book was very insightful and even challenged my own bias. There's a lot of metaphors which while helpful gets overwhelming. I also feel this book is heavily targeted towards women who are in relationships and yet fails to address some issues regarding the other person. Mostly anyways. this is also more targeted to women with high brakes and low accelerators (but does mention the opposite).

The reader was good. The music is what really annoyed me. It was weird listening about sexual education when its jarred with church piano. It felt like she was gonna bust a hymn as soon as the piano started.

Love the book; the music is the bad part for audio

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I think this book would be great for women but, as a man reading this, it was incredibly eye opening and helped me understand what my partner might be going through and how to help us develop our relationship instead of getting frustrated.

Great book for women, even better book for men!

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Emily has a very special skill turning important research results into easily readable & relatable explanations. A brilliant guide to see through the misguided messages we are told by our cultures and the steps we can take to find our individual truths and joy in our unique lives.

Essential Reading for More Joy in Life!

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this book is absolutely life changing. so much gratitude for Emily for speaking truth! her writing and reading is approachable and genuine.

everyone (all genders) NEEDS TO read this book!

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Fantastic collection of science and personal stories to make this feel applicable. Validating and makes you feel connected to all other women In this world. We are the same, but different and that’s what’s beautiful!

Everyone can learn something here!

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The author is spot on! Every woman should not only read this book, but pass this down to the next generation and empower them with this valuable information.

Thank you Emily for spreading joy!

Every woman should read this book!

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