Finding Your Third Place

Building Happier Communities (and Making Great Friends Along the Way)

By: Richard Kyte PhD

Narrated by: Rick Adamson

Do you have a Third Place? Your first place is home, your second place is work, and your third place is where you go to socialize. As more of our lives are spent online and in digital spaces, these often overlooked "Third Places" play a crucial role in keeping our communities vibrant.

In a timely and thoughtful examination, Richard Kyte, PhD, explores the places that nurture our souls and make up the bedrock of our communities. Third Places can range from a neighborhood tavern, to a community center, to a local bookstore or coffee shop. They are the critical gathering spaces where friendships are formed, relationships are nurtured, and the tapestry of community is woven.

Yet, for an ever-growing list of reasons, many people today find themselves without a third place of their own. At a time when our nation is facing an epidemic of loneliness, when communities are suffering from loss of trust, low levels of engagement, despair, and political polarization, what if the answer to many of our problems lies in a simple idea? What if we just need to pay attention to the places where we find ourselves?

©2024 Richard Kyte (P)2024 Tantor

The importance of connection

“Finding Your Third Place” by Richard Kyte not only provides an insightful look into the social spaces that foster community, but also how to incorporate these spaces into your own life and the benefits that come with community and friendship. His blend of storytelling, philosophy and social science makes for a very compelling read. This book is a must-read for anyone interested in the importance of community spaces.

Doesn't really live up to its title

This book has been on my list for months, even before its release. I have been writing a lot about the need for people to connect and I was really anxious about what I could learn from this book. And I did learn a few things about why third places are harder to come by. But mostly I was disappointed.

The author spends a fair amount of time at the start expounding on the evils of social media. I get it. We all get it. He's not wrong, but I would guess that anyone who doesn't know that also isn't probably buying this book. That said, social media is not likely going anywhere and we need to learn how to live and connect in a world WITH social media.

Kyte went on to describe the key traits of a third place, why they are important to connections, what kinds of experiences can be had at third places, a bit about what third places are not and how we can differentiate. He also went on to share how various factors - education, community zoning, etc. have all but eliminated third places. As a reader I was left thinking, sooooo, where does that leave me?

Not really sure because Kyte didn't offer up a lot of solutions. He referenced organizations such as Kiwanis, Lions, and Elks clubs. I grew up knowing that these organizations existed, but had no idea what they did or what purpose they served. TBH, I thought they were clubs for men only, and largely old men. He didn't necessarily dispel that, but he did reference women at the club he belongs to, He seemed to promote these organizations as good choices as third places, which if they align with your needs and values, they might very well be. But it sounds like he doesn't think there are many other options in most areas for adults.

For children, he specifically spoke about Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts, Recent scandals aside, both are probably decent examples for connecting with others, if hiking, camping and the outdoors is your thing.

In both the above examples, however, they appeal to a certain group of people. However, the author seemed to be unable to extrapolate ideas for people for whom those groups aren't a good fit. There are people who find community and connection making music together, bonding at the ball field, doing community theater, helping in local elections, etc..

The entire viewpoint of the book felt very narrow and also somewhat aged, in my opinion.

The narrator had a pleasant enough voice and delivery. He probably would be great reading a fiction book in a character role. For me, he sounded and felt a little too folksy which, combined with the tone of the book, just felt like it was a step away from "back in my day..."

Was not worth my 3 hours and 34 minutes.