C is for Cookie: An Alphabet Book for Grown-Ups!
The Alphabet Books Series, Book 3
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Narrated by:
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David S. Dear
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By:
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Marc Richard
About this listen
They're the cookies that bite back!
OK, Gretel, Dad says we need to move out and get a job.
Don't look at me that way.
Hey, we can do it together. It'll be fun.
Yes. I know we have no skills.
Well, you know how all those long-haul cookie delivery drivers left on their routes and never came back?
It's perfect. Guaranteed employment. People need their sweets.
What? Danger? Nah, we'll be fine.
Hansel and Gretel are two long-haul truckers, a brother and sister team, whose work order is simple: Deliver a truckload of cookies cross-country to an old witch in the forest.
They stop to pick up their load and notice something isn’t right. Pastries shouldn’t be bleeding and screaming and trying to escape their boxes.
Once upon a time, in an orphanage, lived a rather ugly child. Picked on mercilessly by her peers until one by one the orphans went missing. Now an old witch with a cookie addiction, she sits alone in her mansion made of sweets, waiting for her delivery of baked goods with the one special ingredient in them.
Will Hansel and Gretel make their delivery on time? Will they make it out alive? Will Hansel finally admit that Gretel is the better driver?
Indulge your appetite and feast your eyes on this new twist on an age-old tale.
Note: This series does not need to be heard in alphabetical order. Mix and match! Trade with friends!
©2017 Marc Richard (P)2017 Marc RichardListeners also enjoyed...
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Thanks for sharing
- By Nickisnotgary on 09-06-24
By: Darrell Hammond, and others
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Breakfast of Champions
- By: Kurt Vonnegut
- Narrated by: John Malkovich
- Length: 6 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Breakfast of Champions (1973) provides frantic, scattershot satire and a collage of Vonnegut's obsessions. His recurring cast of characters and American landscape was perhaps the most controversial of his canon; it was felt by many at the time to be a disappointing successor to Slaughterhouse-Five, which had made Vonnegut's literary reputation.
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Kurt Was Right to Grade This a C
- By Dubi on 01-10-16
By: Kurt Vonnegut
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Heads Will Roll
- By: Kate McKinnon, Emily Lynne
- Narrated by: Kate McKinnon, Emily Lynne, Tim Gunn, and others
- Length: 4 hrs and 6 mins
- Original Recording
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Heads Will Roll is an Audible Original from Saturday Night Live star Kate McKinnon and her cocreator/costar (and real-life sister) Emily Lynne. Produced by Broadway Video, this is not an audiobook - it’s a 10-episode, star-studded audio comedy that features performances from Meryl Streep, Tim Gunn, Peter Dinklage, Queer Eye’s Fab Five, and so many more. Please note: This content is not for kids.
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More like this please
- By Anon893 on 05-03-19
By: Kate McKinnon, and others
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Napoleon's Hemorrhoids…And Other Small Events That Changed History
- By: Phil Mason
- Narrated by: LJ Ganser
- Length: 8 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Hilarious, fascinating, and a roller coaster of dizzying, historical what-ifs, Napoleon's Hemorrhoids is a potpourri for serious historians and casual history buffs. In one of Phil Mason's many revelations, you'll learn that Communist jets were two minutes away from opening fire on American planes during the Cuban missile crisis, when they had to turn back as they were running out of fuel. You'll discover that before the Battle of Waterloo, Napoleon's painful hemorrhoids prevented him from mounting his horse to survey the battlefield.
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They just throw the facts too fast
- By Concerned_llama on 12-11-20
By: Phil Mason
What listeners say about C is for Cookie: An Alphabet Book for Grown-Ups!
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Paul A. Luedecke
- 02-23-18
An odd author
What made the experience of listening to C Is for Cookie the most enjoyable?
C is for Cookie takes a Hansel and Gretel story and applies Richard's wackiness to it, complete with fart jokes, gross-outs and insanity. A fun read/listen.
Any additional comments?
All of Marc Richard's books have an oddness to them that, if one is so inclined to the odd, is easy to appreciate, simply for the out there way he comes up with the tales. The narrator, David S. Dear, does a great job in keeping up the tongue-in-cheek absurdity of it all.
"I was given this free review copy audiobook at my request and have voluntarily left this review."
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- Jennifer Mulder
- 02-13-18
Loved it!
I never really know what to expect when it comes to books like this, but i absolutely loved this one!!! i was laughing soo hard at parts.... like the cookies at the truck stop. I would definitely recommend this book to quite a few of my friends!!!
"I was given this free review copy audiobook at my request and have voluntarily left this review."
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- Rebecca Azizov
- 02-17-18
geniously written
while this book was just a phenomenal I seriously loved this book I enjoyed it so very much my family probably thought I was crazy when I was laughing so hard the narrator did an amazing job as well just a great great book
I was given this free review copy audiobook at my request and have voluntarily left this review."
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- Robert Merrill
- 03-11-18
Fairy tales done right!!
I received this book for free in exchange for a voluntarily unbiased review.
This is the first book from this author and found his take on the genre refreshing. Had a Creepshow vibe to it and could easily be a tv show I would watch. This short story was fun and ending was not expected.
The narrator was fine but reminds me if Chris from Family Guy. He is fun to listen too and he brought the characters alive.
Beware the cookies!!!!
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- TU
- 03-05-18
Not for kids but quite entertaining
I was given this free review copy audio book at my request and have voluntarily left this review.
This was a short and oddball take on Hansel and Gretel. For what it was, it was humorous and entertaining. Not for kids, though!
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- Pizza Knight
- 02-11-18
Fantastically Deranged
Would you listen to C Is for Cookie again? Why?
Yes. This is definitely one to share with friends who also enjoy black humor.
What did you like best about this story?
The bizarre observations. Look out for cavernous belly buttons!
Any additional comments?
The narrator, David S. Dear, did a great job voicing this title.
This was worth the time spent listening to it. I will definitely be looking for other titles from this author/narrator duo.
*This book was given to me for free at my request and I provided this voluntary review.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Heather North
- 03-19-18
Unique
Unique take on a classic fairytale. Very funny to listen to. Great narrator! I received a free review copy of this audiobook at my request and I have voluntarily left this review.
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- Krista Jasper
- 02-21-18
Stop! Not for Kidlet Ears! 😊
Although it may look like it, this is not your toddler’s alphabet book. Heck, the main characters are Hansel and Gretel, but this is closer to the scary stories once referred to as “fairy tales”! It is far from the Disney type fables that many of us grew up with.
Marc Richards has taken the ABC’s and lore we are familiar and gave them a twist with an adult edge. They are short reads but amusing because of the creative way they have been re-imagined. They don’t have to be read in order, so pick any one up for a fun quick read.
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- Sarah Moon
- 02-20-18
Well woven
I did not know what to expect when I started this book and what I got was some fabulous horror that does not take itself seriously. I was laughing out loud at parts of this book, the horror was a more grizzly Hansel and Gretel probably closer to what the Brothers Grimm would have originally written. But the genius to this story was the humor. I did not know what I wanted to listen to last night and this fit the bill perfectly.
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- James
- 02-12-18
Quirky and fun
Short, quirky, and fun listen! Really good narration too.
“I was voluntarily provided this free review copy audiobook by the author, narrator, or publisher.”
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