Coercive Control
How Men Entrap Women in Personal Life
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Coercive Control
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Narrated by:
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William Sarris
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By:
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Evan Stark
About this listen
Evan Stark, founder of one of America's first battered women's shelters, shows how "domestic violence" is neither primarily domestic nor necessarily violent, but a pattern of controlling behaviors more akin to terrorism and hostage-taking.
Drawing on court records, interviews, and FBI statistics, Stark details coercive strategies that men use to deny women their very personhood, from "beeper games" to food logs to micromanaging dress, speech, sexual activity, and work. Stark urges us to move beyond the injury model and focus on the real victimization that allows men to violate women's human rights with impunity.
Provocative and brilliantly argued, Coercive Control reframes abuse as a liberty crime rather than a crime of assault and points the way to bringing "real" equality for women in line with their formal rights to personhood and citizenship, freedom, and safety.
©2007 Oxford University Press, Inc. (P)2020 TantorListeners also enjoyed...
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Coercive control will see an abuser dominate their victim's life, from the food they eat, the people they see, the places they can go, and the things they can say. A controlling partner, through fear and intimidation, will seek to ensure their victim is subdued, to the point of accepting any and all abuse that's fired their way.
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Coercive control will see an abuser dominate their victim's life, from the food they eat, the people they see, the places they can go, and the things they can say. A controlling partner, through fear and intimidation, will seek to ensure their victim is subdued, to the point of accepting any and all abuse that's fired their way.
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The Way We Never Were
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- By: Stephanie Coontz
- Narrated by: Suzanne Toren
- Length: 17 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 69
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 54
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 54
Leave It to Beaver was not a documentary, a man's home has never been his castle, the "male breadwinner marriage" is the least traditional family in history, and rape and sexual assault were far higher in the 1970s than they are today. In The Way We Never Were, acclaimed historian Stephanie Coontz examines two centuries of the American family, sweeping away misconceptions about the past that cloud current debates about domestic life. The 1950s do not present a workable model of how to conduct our personal lives today, Coontz argues.
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5 out of 5 stars
-
fantastic report on the dangers of nostalgia
- By Richard Stine on 06-29-21
By: Stephanie Coontz
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Black Women, Black Love
- America's War on African American Marriage
- By: Dianne M. Stewart
- Narrated by: Tracey Leigh
- Length: 9 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 60
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 55
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 54
According to the 2010 US census, more than 70 percent of Black women in America are unmarried. Black Women, Black Love reveals how four centuries of laws, policies, and customs have created that crisis. Dianne Stewart begins in the colonial era, when slave owners denied Blacks the right to marry, divided families, and, in many cases, raped enslaved women and girls. Later, during Reconstruction and the ensuing decades, violence split couples again as millions embarked on the Great Migration north.
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2 out of 5 stars
-
Cherry picked feminism
- By Keith Swanson on 11-26-20
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Angry White Men
- American Masculinity at the End of an Era
- By: Michael Kimmel
- Narrated by: Aaron Williamson
- Length: 12 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 92
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 78
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 78
One of the enduring legacies of the 2012 Presidential campaign was the demise of the white American male voter as a dominant force in the political landscape. On election night, after Obama was announced the winner, a distressed Bill O'Reilly lamented that he didn't live in "a traditional America anymore". He was joined by others who bellowed their grief on the talk radio airwaves, the traditional redoubt of angry white men. Why were they so angry?
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4 out of 5 stars
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Interesting book; Wrong reader
- By Carolina A. Miranda on 05-02-18
By: Michael Kimmel
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Down Girl
- The Logic of Misogyny
- By: Kate Manne
- Narrated by: Lauren Fortgang
- Length: 10 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 374
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 310
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 307
Misogyny is a hot topic, yet it's often misunderstood. What is misogyny, exactly? Who deserves to be called a misogynist? How does misogyny contrast with sexism, and why is it prone to persist - or increase - even when sexist gender roles are waning? This book is an exploration of misogyny in public life and politics by the moral philosopher Kate Manne. It argues that misogyny should not be understood primarily in terms of the hatred or hostility some men feel toward all or most women. Rather, it's primarily about controlling, policing, punishing, and exiling the "bad" women.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Five Star Book w/bad Narration
- By Cherrybomb on 02-08-19
By: Kate Manne
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Policing the Black Man
- Arrest, Prosecution, and Imprisonment
- By: Angela J. Davis - editor
- Narrated by: Robin Miles, Kevin Kenerly
- Length: 10 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 90
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 79
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 79
Policing the Black Man explores and critiques the many ways the criminal justice system impacts the lives of African American boys and men at every stage of the criminal process, from arrest through sentencing. Essays range from an explication of the historical roots of racism in the criminal justice system to an examination of modern-day police killings of unarmed black men.
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4 out of 5 stars
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A Book Every Young White Male Should Read
- By danielwead on 08-04-17
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Chokehold
- Policing Black Men
- By: Paul Butler
- Narrated by: JD Jackson
- Length: 8 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 227
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 200
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 197
Cops, politicians, and ordinary people are afraid of black men. The result is the Chokehold: laws and practices that treat every African American man like a thug. In this explosive new book, an African American former federal prosecutor shows that the system is working exactly the way it's supposed to. Black men are always under watch, and police violence is widespread - all with the support of judges and politicians.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Good but not amazing
- By Andrew on 12-16-17
By: Paul Butler
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The Death of Right and Wrong
- Exposing the Left's Assault on Our Culture and Values
- By: Tammy Bruce
- Narrated by: Tammy Bruce
- Length: 11 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 82
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 36
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 37
A woman of contradictions, "a gun-toting, lesbian, feminist, voted-for-Reagan activist", Tammy Bruce is standing in line to become the next Ann Coulter. The "left wing" is engaged in an enormous conspiracy to make moral values relative, to undercut pride and patriotism in our country, to destroy Christian ideology at any cost, to pollute the minds of our youth by means of leftist professors who rewrite history, and to hijack the justice system through morally bankrupt trial lawyers.
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5 out of 5 stars
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A thoughtful analytical review of moral relativism
- By Book and Movie Lover on 07-26-04
By: Tammy Bruce
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Men Explain Things to Me
- By: Rebecca Solnit
- Narrated by: Luci Christian Bell
- Length: 2 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 2,106
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 1,822
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 1,801
In Men Explain Things to Me, Rebecca Solnit takes on the conversations between men who wrongly assume they know things and wrongly assume women don't. The ultimate problem, she shows in her comic, scathing essay, is female self-doubt and the silencing of women. Rebecca Solnit is the author of fourteen books about civil society, popular power, uprisings, art, environment, place, pleasure, politics, hope, and memory, most recently The Faraway Nearby, a book on empathy and storytelling.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Great read - horrible performance
- By Denise Johnson on 03-26-15
By: Rebecca Solnit
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An African American and Latinx History of the United States
- By: Paul Ortiz
- Narrated by: J. D. Jackson
- Length: 9 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 454
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 399
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 394
Spanning more than 200 years, An African American and Latinx History of the United States is a revolutionary, politically charged narrative history arguing that the "Global South" was crucial to the development of America as we know it. Ortiz challenges the notion of westward progress, and shows how placing African American, Latinx, and Indigenous voices unapologetically front and center transforms American history into the story of the working class organizing against imperialism.
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2 out of 5 stars
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I had to return
- By Andrew Alvarez on 05-19-20
By: Paul Ortiz
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Forget "Having It All"
- How America Messed Up Motherhood - and How to Fix It
- By: Amy Westervelt
- Narrated by: Amy Westervelt
- Length: 8 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 49
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 39
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 38
In Forget "Having It All", Westervelt traces the roots of our modern expectations of mothers and motherhood back to extremist ideas held by the first Puritans who attempted to colonize America and examines how those ideals shifted - or didn't - through every generation since.
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5 out of 5 stars
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A Thorough and Well-Researched Book on The "Mom Predicament"
- By Merle B on 04-10-19
By: Amy Westervelt
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The Better Angels of Our Nature
- Why Violence Has Declined
- By: Steven Pinker
- Narrated by: Arthur Morey
- Length: 36 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 6,349
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 5,500
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 5,453
Faced with the ceaseless stream of news about war, crime, and terrorism, one could easily think we live in the most violent age ever seen. Yet as New York Times bestselling author Steven Pinker shows in this startling and engaging new work, just the opposite is true: violence has been diminishing for millennia and we may be living in the most peaceful time in our species's existence.
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5 out of 5 stars
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I'd kill for another book this good
- By Eric on 11-11-11
By: Steven Pinker
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Fight of the Century
- Writers Reflect on 100 Years of Landmark ACLU Cases
- By: Michael Chabon - editor, Ayelet Waldman - editor
- Narrated by: an all-star cast
- Length: 11 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 51
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 42
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 42
In collaboration with the ACLU, authors Michael Chabon and Ayelet Waldman have curated an anthology of essays about landmark cases in the organization’s 100-year history. Fight of the Century takes you inside the trials and the stories that have shaped modern life. Some of the most prominent cases that the ACLU has been involved in - Brown v. Board of Education, Roe v. Wade, Miranda v. Arizona - need little introduction. Others you may never even have heard of, yet their outcomes quietly defined the world we live in now.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Outstanding
- By Nancy B on 10-06-20
By: Michael Chabon - editor, and others
-
The Invincible Family
- Why the Global Campaign to Crush Motherhood and Fatherhood Can't Win
- By: Kimberly Ells
- Narrated by: Becky White
- Length: 7 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 34
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 30
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 30
Socialists and feminists have long targeted the family as an enemy, even the enemy. For socialists, the family is an obstacle to the full power of the progressive state. For feminists, the family denies female independence and equality. Today, however, the battle has grown even fiercer, as socialists and feminists have found a global ally in the United Nations, which is using its extraordinary power to undercut the authority and the sanctity of the family around the world - even in the United States.
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5 out of 5 stars
-
Must read for all mothers.
- By Andrea G on 07-07-23
By: Kimberly Ells
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Our Political Nature
- The Evolutionary Origins of What Divides Us
- By: Avi Tuschman
- Narrated by: Jay Snyder
- Length: 17 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 97
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 76
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 79
Our Political Nature is the first book to reveal the hidden roots of our most deeply held moral values. It shows how political orientations across space and time arise from three clusters of measurable personality traits. These clusters entail opposing attitudes toward tribalism, inequality, and differing perceptions of human nature. Together, these traits are by far the most powerful cause of left-right voting, even leading people to regularly vote against their economic interests.
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2 out of 5 stars
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A Trivial Version of Haidt's "The Righteous Mind"
- By Curt Doolittle on 10-29-13
By: Avi Tuschman
-
The Science of Good and Evil
- Why People Cheat, Gossip, Care, Share, and Follow the Golden Rule
- By: Michael Shermer
- Length: 2 hrs and 21 mins
- Abridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 94
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 72
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 69
In The Science of Good and Evil, psychologist and science historian Michael Shermer explores how humans evolved from social primates into moral primates, how and why morality motivates the human animal, and how the foundation of moral principles can be built upon empirical evidence. Along the way he explains the implications of scientific findings for fate and free will, the existence of pure good and pure evil, and the development of early moral sentiments among the first humans.
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5 out of 5 stars
-
Read by author
- By Gregory A. Townsend on 04-16-23
By: Michael Shermer
-
What It Means to Be Moral
- Why Religion Is Not Necessary for Living an Ethical Life
- By: Phil Zuckerman
- Narrated by: Paul Brion
- Length: 11 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 65
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 56
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 56
In What It Means to Be Moral: Why Religion Is Not Necessary for Living an Ethical Life, Phil Zuckerman argues that morality does not come from God. Rather, it comes from us: our brains, our evolutionary past, our ongoing cultural development, our social experiences, and our ability to reason, reflect, and be sensitive to the suffering of others.
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4 out of 5 stars
-
Praise for Faith No More
- By Amazon Customer on 12-08-19
By: Phil Zuckerman
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When you are showered with attention, it can feel incredibly romantic and can blind you to hints of problems ahead. But what happens when attentiveness becomes domination? In some relationships, the desire to control leads to jealousy, gaslighting, threats, micromanaging - even physical violence. If you or someone you care about are trapped in a web of coercive control, this audiobook provides answers, hope, and a way out.
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Statistics tell us something that's almost impossible to grapple with: it's not the stranger in the dark women should fear, but the men they fall in love with. See What You Made Me Do is not only a searing investigation, but also a dissection of how that violence can be enabled and reinforced by the judicial system we trust to protect us. It carefully dismantles the flawed logic of victim-blaming and challenges everything you thought you knew about psychological abuse and emotional abuse relationships, while shining a spotlight on domestic violence awareness and abuse awareness.
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We call it domestic violence. We call it private violence. Sometimes we call it intimate terrorism. But whatever we call it, we generally do not believe it has anything at all to do with us, despite the World Health Organization deeming it a 'global epidemic'. In No Visible Bruises, journalist Rachel Louise Snyder gives context for what we don't know we're seeing. She frames this urgent and immersive account of the scale of domestic violence in our country around key stories that explode the common myths....
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When you are showered with attention, it can feel incredibly romantic and can blind you to hints of problems ahead. But what happens when attentiveness becomes domination? In some relationships, the desire to control leads to jealousy, gaslighting, threats, micromanaging - even physical violence. If you or someone you care about are trapped in a web of coercive control, this audiobook provides answers, hope, and a way out.
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In The Emotionally Abused Woman, therapist Beverly Engel introduced the concept of emotional abuse, one of the most subtle yet devastating forms of abuse within a relationship. Now Engel exposes the most destructive technique the abuser uses to break our spirit and gain control - and guides listeners on how to free themselves from the shame that can keep them from the life (and the love) they deserve.
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Excellent Audiobook - Suitable for Anyone
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IT'S NOT “HIGH CONFLICT” IT’S POST-SEPARATION ABUSE
- When Abusers Weaponize the Courts as a Form of Retaliation
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The family court system is meant to protect domestic violence victims, yet too often, it becomes an endless labyrinth that traps them inside. Abusers weaponize our judicial system to instill their revenge, from long, drawn-out divorces and custody battles to forcing their victims to spend thousands of dollars and endless time in court. In her new book, Kaytee Gillis tells the story of those victims trying to defend themselves against the revenge of post-separation abuse while navigating that legal labyrinth. When our judicial system fails to protect victims from this abuse, they give ...
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5 out of 5 stars
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Authenticity.
- By theteendoc on 03-14-24
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The Woman They Could Not Silence
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1860: As the clash between the states rolls slowly to a boil, Elizabeth Packard, housewife and mother of six, is facing her own battle. The enemy sits across the table and sleeps in the next room. Her husband of 21 years is plotting against her because he feels increasingly threatened - by Elizabeth’s intellect, independence, and unwillingness to stifle her own thoughts. So Theophilus makes a plan to put his wife back in her place. One summer morning, he has her committed to an insane asylum.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Everyone should read this!
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Look What You Made Me Do
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For more than two years, BBC Radio 4's The Archers ran a disturbing storyline centred on Helen Tichener's abuse at the hands of her husband Rob. Not the kind of abuse that leaves a bruise, but the sort of coercive control that breaks your spirit and makes it almost impossible to walk away. As she listened to the unfolding story, Helen Walmsley-Johnson was forced to confront her own agonising past. Helen's first husband controlled her life, from the people she saw to what was in her bank account.
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5 out of 5 stars
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So many relatable thoughts
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Husband, Liar, Sociopath
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Could you or someone you know be married to a sociopath? The author of this book was, but it took her twenty years to figure it out. She wrote this book to make sure the same thing doesn’t happen to other people. Onna thought the classmate she married was her Prince Charming—kind, honest, loving, and intellectually vibrant—but she was wrong. That “spark” she felt wasn’t true love, it was a trap—custom designed to ensnare her. Onna’s repayment for investing twenty years into her marriage and unwittingly providing her husband with a façade of normalcy was ongoing gaslighting ...
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5 out of 5 stars
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recommend
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By: O.N.WARD
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The Emotionally Abusive Relationship
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The number of people who become involved with partners who abuse them emotionally and/or who are emotionally abusive themselves is phenomenal, and yet emotional abuse is the least understood form of abuse. In this breakthrough book, Beverly Engel, one of the world's leading experts on the subject, shows us what emotional abuse is and what to do about it.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Amazing SELF GROWTH
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By: Beverly Engel
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Psychopath Free: Expanded Edition
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 2,933
The psychopath carefully selects the most indifferent and heartbreaking way imaginable to abandon you. They destroy you as a way to reassure themselves. Psychopath Free will help you out of the darkness so that you can begin making better choices that will forever alter the course of your life. So say farewell to love triangles, cryptic letters, self-doubt, and manufactured anxiety. You are no longer a pawn in the mind games of a psychopath. You are free.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Be kind to yourself and read this book.
- By GoodMonster on 09-19-15
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Women with Controlling Partners
- Taking Back Your Life from a Manipulative or Abusive Partner
- By: Carol A. Lambert MSW
- Narrated by: Tina Wolstencroft
- Length: 7 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 6
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 6
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Story4 out of 5 stars 6
Based on over a decade of clinical and domestic abuse research, Women with Controlling Partners will help you identify the coercive constraints that can be predictive of intimate partner abuse, recognize the harmful effects of psychological abuse on your mental and physical health, and gain the personal strength and power to break free. Using the author's three-stage recovery model, you'll be empowered to move out of denial, deconstruct what holds you psychologically captive, and take back your life.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Controlling parents
- By Anonymous User on 06-04-24
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Daily Wisdom for Why Does He Do That?
- Encouragement for Women Involved with Angry and Controlling Men
- By: Lundy Bancroft
- Narrated by: Gary Galone
- Length: 11 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 137
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 116
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Story5 out of 5 stars 116
Like a constant friend, this collection of meditations is a source of strength and reassurance designed to speak to women like you, women in relationships with angry and controlling men. It helps you to digest what is happening a piece at a time, so you can gain clarity, safety, and freedom.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Just what I needed.
- By lori Goodson on 11-07-15
By: Lundy Bancroft
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If He's So Great, Why Do I Feel So Bad?
- Recognizing and Overcoming Subtle Abuse
- By: Avery Neal
- Narrated by: Virginia Wolf
- Length: 7 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 66
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 54
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 54
In this groundbreaking audiobook, Avery Neal, founder of the Women's Therapy Clinic, helps you recognize the warning signs of subtle abuse. As you are able to identify patterns that have never made sense before, you are better equipped to make changes. An expert in the field, Neal has guided countless individuals to regain their self-esteem, their joy, and their lives. From letting go of fear to setting boundaries, If He's So Great, Why Do I Feel So Bad? will help you enjoy a happy, healthy, fulfilling life, free of shame or blame.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Please keep politics out of a Self Help book.
- By Laureen K on 09-18-20
By: Avery Neal
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When Loving Him Is Hurting You
- Hope and Help for Women Dealing with Narcissism and Emotional Abuse
- By: Dr. David Hawkins
- Narrated by: Jim Denison
- Length: 8 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 789
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 661
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 653
You fell in love with him. But over time you've come to realize he's in love with himself - and you feel trapped. His needs, his problems, and his plans always seem to take precedence over yours. Dr. David Hawkins, director of the Marriage Recovery Center, offers a guide to help you identify signs of narcissism, understand how your loved one's issues are affecting you, and prepare a biblical game plan for freeing yourself to live courageously in light of God's love.
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5 out of 5 stars
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The book I so desperately needed to read
- By Julia on 05-26-18
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Out of the Fog
- Moving from Confusion to Clarity After Narcissistic Abuse
- By: Dana Morningstar
- Narrated by: Dana Morningstar
- Length: 8 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 1,319
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 1,109
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Story5 out of 5 stars 1,099
The FOG is an acronym that stands for "Fear, Obligation, and Guilt". These three emotions are often how narcissists, sociopaths, and other types of emotional manipulators go about controlling others.
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5 out of 5 stars
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THE best book I’ve ever read on the subject
- By Alexandria Filipowski on 10-23-19
By: Dana Morningstar
What listeners say about Coercive Control
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Charleen Grice
- 07-04-23
A hopeful glimpse
This work puts statistics to the malevolence occurring on a daily basis in millions of relationships. This is an outline to present to lawmakers regarding the change, that must come, to our judicial system and outlines specific perceptions, prejudices and policies as hurdles and obstacles to this goal.
This was a very validating read and I feel heard.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Evie
- 11-18-23
phenomenonal
fabulous book on the origins and methods of abusive behavior inrelationships!
a must read for anyone who has ever been in a bad relationship!!!
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Emily Meyers
- 03-22-21
Wow
So well done. The research is strong, the communication ending, the conclusions insightful. A work of art on coercive control!
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5 people found this helpful
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Overall1 out of 5 stars
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Performance2 out of 5 stars
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Story1 out of 5 stars
- Gloria F.
- 09-11-24
Unbearingly mindnumbing
This book is nothing but data and statistics concerning women's domestic violence centers and battered women organizations. After listening to 5 hours of this 21 hour book, I had to stop. This book would probably be helpful to someone working in these environments. Are you sure this isn't a textbook? Seems more like a textbook to me. Like I said, this book is 95% data and statistics. Just hours and hours of percentages and numbers. Not what you might think the book is about.
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