A Guide to Midwestern Conversation
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A Guide to Midwestern Conversation
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Narrated by:
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Taylor Kay Phillips
About this listen
Learn (and love) the language of the landlocked in this bitingly funny guide to the common phrases and sentiments of the American Heartland, from the author of the McSweeney’s series “A Guide to Midwestern Conversation.”
If you end an evening by slapping your thighs and saying, “Welp, I’ll go ahead and get outta your hair,” then you don’t need this guide, but you sure as heck might like it. Full of common Midwestern phrases (and what they really mean behind the friendly facade), A Guide to Midwestern Conversation is an affectionate, self-deprecating look at the language of a people long defined by their kindness and reduced to their voting patterns. Written by born-and-bred Midwesterner Taylor Kay Phillips, it’s a wink, a hug, and a firm handshake (with eye contact) to the millions of Americans who say soda and pop interchangeably and grew up doing tornado drills in school.
Discover Midwestern conversational staples like:
- How to announce that you hate something beyond comprehension (“I didn’t really care for it”)
- What counts as “a short drive” (less than eight hours)
- Sports talk (starts early, doesn’t end till we’re six feet under)
- Describing the ultimate dream home (“It’s got a finished basement”)
- An ode to the Garage Fridge
Including an array of guides, tips, and profiles of all the states included, A Guide to Midwestern Conversation is guaranteed to make Midwesterners (and their friends) laugh out loud, nod their heads, and ask if “anyone needs anything real quick while I’m up.”
©2023 Taylor Kay Phillips (P)2023 Random House AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
“Taylor is as funny as she is Midwestern. And she is thunderously Midwestern. You will enjoy this book!” —John Oliver, Last Week Tonight with John Oliver
“ . . . a wildly entertaining, precisely critical, and lovingly mocking taxonomy of the people of ‘flyover country.’” —Vulture
“It’s perfect. It’s wonderful. If you are from the Midwest, or know someone who is, go check this out, peruse it a little bit, buy it as a gift. . . . Phillips does such an excellent job of parsing, with familiar and understandable exactitude, the very fine distinctions in what seem to be interchangeable expressions. . . . It was both revelatory and delightful and somewhat reaffirming. Really fun pop anthropology that’s smarter than it seems, and more fun than it has any right to be.” —BookRiot
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Cooking as Fast as I Can
- A Chef’s Story of Family, Food, and Forgiveness
- By: Cat Cora
- Narrated by: Cassandra Campbell
- Length: 7 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 63
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 54
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 56
In Cooking as Fast as I Can, Cat Cora reveals, for the first time, coming-of-age experiences from early childhood sexual abuse to the realities of life as a lesbian in the Deep South. She shares how she found her passion in the kitchen and went on to attend the prestigious Culinary Institute of America and apprentice under Michelin-star chefs in France. After her big break as a cohost on the Food Network's Melting Pot, Cat broke barriers by becoming the first-ever female Iron Chef.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Great listen for a chef
- By Nikki on 04-10-24
By: Cat Cora
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I Regret Nothing
- A Memoir
- By: Jen Lancaster
- Narrated by: Jen Lancaster
- Length: 9 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 411
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 368
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 364
New York Times best-selling author Jen Lancaster has lived a life based on re-invention and self-improvement. From Bitter Is the New Black to The Tao of Martha, she’s managed to document her (and her generation’s) attempts to shape up, grow up, and have it all - sometimes with disastrous results...Mistakes are one thing; regrets are another. After a girls’ weekend in Savannah makes her realize that she is - yikes! - middle-aged (binge watching is so the new binge drinking), Jen decides to make a bucket list and seize the day.
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3 out of 5 stars
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The Smug Is Strong With This One
- By T. Filowitz on 05-24-15
By: Jen Lancaster
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Waiter to the Rich and Shameless
- Confessions of a Five Star Beverly Hills Server
- By: Paul Hartford
- Narrated by: James Patrick Cronin
- Length: 10 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 1,347
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 1,256
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Story4 out of 5 stars 1,261
Waiter to the Rich and Shameless is not just a peek into the secretive inner workings of a legendary five-star restaurant; it is not just a celebrity tell-all or a scathing corporate analysis. It is a top-tier waiter's personal coming-of-age story, an intimate look into the complicated challenges of serving in the country's most elite, Hollywood-centric dining room while fighting to maintain a sense of self and purpose.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Not what I imagined
- By Autumn Larkin on 02-17-17
By: Paul Hartford
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Gummi Bears Should Not Be Organic
- And Other Opinions I Can't Back Up with Facts
- By: Stefanie Wilder-Taylor
- Narrated by: Stefanie Wilder-Taylor
- Length: 4 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 75
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 67
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 67
In this latest mommy audiobook from the popular blogger, author, and TV personality, Stefanie will share her secrets for achieving a balance in motherhood between being protective and caring and downright bats--t crazy. She'll debunk some of the looniest parenting myths and reinforce others; she'll describe how, through as simple a process as good old trial and error, she's learned to pick and choose what works for her and her family, and tune out the rest.
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5 out of 5 stars
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You’re A Parent Now...Don't Mess It Up
- By Tim on 04-16-15
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Laughing Without an Accent
- Adventures of an Iranian American, at Home and Abroad
- By: Firoozeh Dumas
- Narrated by: Firoozeh Dumas
- Length: 5 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 306
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 175
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 177
In the best-selling memoir Funny in Farsi, Firoozeh Dumas recounted her adventures growing up Iranian American in Southern California. Now she again mines her rich Persian heritage in Laughing Without an Accent, sharing stories both tender and humorous on being a citizen of the world, on her well-meaning family, and on amusing cultural conundrums, all told with insights into the universality of the human condition. (Hint: It may have to do with brushing and flossing daily.)
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1 out of 5 stars
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Sigh
- By Sara on 01-29-14
By: Firoozeh Dumas
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Stories I'd Tell in Bars
- By: Jen Lancaster
- Narrated by: Jen Lancaster, John Fletcher
- Length: 8 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 365
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 325
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Story4 out of 5 stars 322
Unfiltered. Unapologetic. Older, but not wiser, Lancaster goes back to basics in this hilarious essay collection about everything from taking community policing classes to accidentally getting high with her waiter after a fancy dinner. These are the tales she'd tell if she met you in a bar... if she weren't too lazy to put on pants and go to a bar. Offering advice ranging from how to remain happily married to a man who refuses to blow his damn nose already to not creating An Incident at the cheese counter during an attempt at Whole30, she's you, only louder.
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2 out of 5 stars
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self absorbed
- By D D H on 06-15-19
By: Jen Lancaster
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Cooking as Fast as I Can
- A Chef’s Story of Family, Food, and Forgiveness
- By: Cat Cora
- Narrated by: Cassandra Campbell
- Length: 7 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 63
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 54
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 56
In Cooking as Fast as I Can, Cat Cora reveals, for the first time, coming-of-age experiences from early childhood sexual abuse to the realities of life as a lesbian in the Deep South. She shares how she found her passion in the kitchen and went on to attend the prestigious Culinary Institute of America and apprentice under Michelin-star chefs in France. After her big break as a cohost on the Food Network's Melting Pot, Cat broke barriers by becoming the first-ever female Iron Chef.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Great listen for a chef
- By Nikki on 04-10-24
By: Cat Cora
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Isle of Palms
- A Lowcountry Tale, Book 3
- By: Dorothea Benton Frank
- Narrated by: Robin Miles
- Length: 18 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 998
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 914
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 908
Dorothea Benton Frank is a treasure of American letters with numerous New York Times best-sellers to her credit and a portfolio full of critical acclaim. “Mixing high drama and high jinks” ( Booklist), her third Lowcountry novel follows the fortunes of the dysfunctional Abbot family. Looking to set her life aright, Anna Lutz Abbot returns to her South Carolina lowcountry hometown. And as she attempts to right past wrongs, Anna receives help and support from a quirky cast of lovable locals sure to endear themselves to listeners.
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5 out of 5 stars
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A feel good story
- By Sheryl on 02-04-13
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The Story of Arthur Truluv
- A Novel
- By: Elizabeth Berg
- Narrated by: Elizabeth Berg
- Length: 6 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,373
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 1,200
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,194
Three people find their way back from loss and loneliness to a different kind of belonging in this deeply moving novel. Arthur, an old widower struggling to overcome his grief, meets Maddy, a troubled teenage girl who avoids school by hiding out where Arthur goes every day for lunch. The two strike up a friendship that draws them out of isolation.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Sickly Sweet
- By Amazon Customer on 01-19-18
By: Elizabeth Berg
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Miss Cecily's Recipes for Exceptional Ladies
- A Novel
- By: Vicky Zimmerman
- Narrated by: Beth Chalmers
- Length: 11 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 84
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 70
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 71
When her life falls apart on the eve of her 40th birthday, Kate Parker finds herself volunteering at the Lauderdale House for Exceptional Ladies. There she meets 97-year-old Cecily Finn. Cecily's tongue is as sharp as her mind, but she's fed up with pretty much everything. Having no patience with Kate's choices, Cecily prescribes her a self-help book with a difference.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Book for foodies
- By RueRue on 02-20-23
By: Vicky Zimmerman
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Something She's Not Telling Us
- A Novel
- By: Darcey Bell
- Narrated by: Vivienne Leheny, Carly Robins, Pete Simonelli, and others
- Length: 9 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 195
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 173
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Story3.5 out of 5 stars 173
Charlotte has everything in life that she ever could have hoped for: a doting, artistic husband, a small-but-thriving flower shop, and her sweet, smart five-year-old daughter, Daisy. Her relationship with her mother might be strained, but the distance between them helps. And her younger brother Rocco may have horrible taste in women, but when he introduces his new girlfriend to Charlotte and her family, they are cautiously optimistic that she could be The One. Daisy seems to love Ruth, and she can’t be any worse than the klepto Rocco brought home the last time.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Should be "Something Almost Happened"
- By Kimberly Wasilewski on 05-03-20
By: Darcey Bell
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Hey Mom
- By: Louie Anderson
- Narrated by: Louie Anderson
- Length: 6 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 441
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 402
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 400
Louie Anderson has been channeling his beloved mom in his iconic stand-up comedy for decades - but she passed away before getting to see him reach new heights with his breakout role. Hey Mom is Louie's way of catching Ora Zella Anderson up on everything that has been going on in his life, including his continued struggles with food and family, but also how so much has changed for the better. He also has plenty of laugh-out-loud stories about his incredibly resilient mother and his 10 siblings, as well as observations on the absurdities of life.
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5 out of 5 stars
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I love Louie even more now
- By Candace on 05-02-18
By: Louie Anderson
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Cleaning House
- A Mom's Twelve-Month Experiment to Rid Her Home of Youth Entitlement
- By: Kay Willis Wyma
- Narrated by: Tavia Gilbert
- Length: 8 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 193
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 161
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 162
Do your kids think that clean, folded clothes magically appear in their drawers? Do they roll their eyes when you suggest they clean the bathroom? Do you think it's your job to pave their road to success? As parents, so often we hover, race in to save, and do everything we can for our kids - unintentionally reinforcing their belief that the world revolves around them. When Kay Wyma realized that an attitude of entitlement had crept into her home, this mother of five got some attitude of her own.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Yes, yes, YES!!
- By Rachel Maize on 06-19-12
By: Kay Willis Wyma
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Buy Yourself the F*cking Lilies
- And Other Rituals to Fix Your Life, from Someone Who's Been There
- By: Tara Schuster
- Narrated by: Tara Schuster
- Length: 11 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,635
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 1,394
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,389
By the time she was in her late 20s, Tara Schuster was a rising TV executive who had worked for The Daily Show with Jon Stewart and helped launch Key & Peele to viral superstardom. By all appearances, she had mastered being a grown-up. But beneath that veneer of success, she was a chronically anxious, self-medicating mess. No one knew that her road to adulthood had been paved with depression, anxiety, and shame. Buy Yourself the F*cking Lilies is the story of Tara’s path to re-parenting herself and becoming a "ninja of self-love".
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1 out of 5 stars
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Shallow romp through other authors works
- By MM in Los Angeles on 03-01-20
By: Tara Schuster
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The Midwest Survival Guide
- How We Talk, Love, Work, Drink, and Eat... Everything with Ranch
- By: Charlie Berens
- Narrated by: Charlie Berens
- Length: 6 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 124
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 113
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 112
Have you ever had a goodbye lasting more than four hours? Do you lack the emotional capacity to say “I love you” so you just tell your loved ones to “watch out for deer”? Have you apologized to a stranger because she stepped on your foot? If you answered yes to any of these questions, there’s a good chance you’re a Midwesterner - or a Midwesterner at heart.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Perfect for the Long Drive to WI
- By Amazon Customer on 01-24-22
By: Charlie Berens
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The Longest Date
- Life as a Wife
- By: Cindy Chupack
- Narrated by: Cindy Chupack, Ian Wallach
- Length: 4 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 65
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 55
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Story4 out of 5 stars 56
After having endured enough emotional wreckage in her search for true love to fill a book ( The New York Times bestseller The Between Boyfriends Book), two magazine columns, and five seasons of scripts for Sex and the City, Cindy Chupack finally, mercifully, at the age of thirty-nine, met the Perfect Man. The perfect companion for anyone navigating a marriage (or even just contemplating one), The Longest Date marks the welcome return of one of our most gifted and captivating comic writers.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Meh...
- By Jessica K. on 11-07-18
By: Cindy Chupack
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People I Want to Punch in the Throat
- Competitive Crafters, Drop-Off Despots, and Other Suburban Scourges
- By: Jen Mann
- Narrated by: Jen Mann
- Length: 5 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 98
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 86
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Story4 out of 5 stars 87
Jen Mann doesn't have a filter, which sometimes gets her in trouble with her neighbors, fellow PTA moms, and that one woman who tried to sell her sex toys at a home shopping party. Known for her hilariously acerbic observations on her blog, People I Want to Punch in the Throat, Mann now brings her sharp wit to bear on suburban life, marriage, and motherhood in this laugh-out-loud collection of essays. From the politics of joining a play group, to the thrill of moms' night out at the gun range, to the rewards of your most meaningful relationship, nothing's sacred or off-limits.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Boring, not funny, and kind of mean
- By Jess on 11-22-19
By: Jen Mann
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A Little Christmas Spirit
- By: Sheila Roberts
- Narrated by: Ann Marie Gideon
- Length: 8 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 146
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 134
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 134
Single mom Lexie Bell hopes to make this first Christmas in their new home special for her six-year-old son, Brock. Festive lights and homemade fudge, check. Friendly neighbors? Uh, no. Stanley Mann lost his Christmas spirit when he lost his wife and he sees no point in looking for it. Until she shows up in his dreams and informs him it's time to ditch his scroogey attitude. Stanley digs in his heels, but she's determined to haunt him until he wakes up and rediscovers the joys of the season. He can start by being a little more neighborly to the single mom next door.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Heartwarming
- By Bette Hansen on 10-07-21
By: Sheila Roberts
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Two Truths and a Lie
- A Novel
- By: Meg Mitchell Moore
- Narrated by: Courtney Patterson
- Length: 10 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 245
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 218
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Story4 out of 5 stars 218
Truth: Sherri Griffin and her daughter, Katie, recently moved to the idyllic beach town of Newburyport, Massachusetts. They’ve been welcomed by Rebecca Coleman, unofficial former leader of the Newburyport Mom Squad, and her teenage daughter Alexa, Katie’s new babysitter. Truth: Alexa has time on her hands after a falling-out with her friends involving her popular YouTube channel.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Really more of a YA novel...
- By Faith W. on 09-04-20