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Sure, I'll Join Your Cult
- A Memoir of Mental Illness and the Quest to Belong Anywhere
- Narrated by: Maria Bamford
- Length: 7 hrs and 40 mins
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Sure, I'll Join Your Cult
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Publisher's summary
From “weird, scary, ingenious” (The New York Times) stand-up comedian Maria Bamford, an instant New York Times bestselling, brutally honest, and “laugh-out-loud funny” (Jennette McCurdy, #1 New York Times bestselling author) memoir about show business, mental health, and the comfort of rigid belief systems—from Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People, to Richard Simmons, to 12-step programs.
Maria Bamford is a comedian’s comedian (an outsider among outsiders) and has forever fought to find a place to belong. From struggling with an eating disorder as a child of the 1980s, to navigating a career in the arts (and medical debt and psychiatric institutionalization), she has tried just about every method possible to not only be a part of the world, but to want to be a part of it.
In Bamford’s “trademark blend of disarming intimacy and dark whimsy” (Publishers Weekly), Sure, I’ll Join Your Cult brings us on a quest to participate in something. With sincerity and transparency, she recounts every anonymous fellowship she has joined (including but not limited to: Debtors Anonymous, Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous, and Overeaters Anonymous), every hypomanic episode (from worrying about selling out under capitalism to enforcing union rules on her Netflix TV show set to protect her health), and every easy 1-to-3-step recipe for fudge in between.
Packed with “Bamford’s brilliance, relentless humor, and insatiable instinct for survival (Library Journal), this memoir explores what it means to keep going, and to be a member of society (or any group she’s invited to) despite not being very good at it. In turn, she hopes to transform isolating experiences into comedy that will make you feel less alone (without turning into a cult following).
PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.
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- Narrated by: Taraji P. Henson, Tracee Ellis Ross, Blake Griffin, and others
- Length: 2 hrs and 7 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 537
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 530
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 530
Separated by 10 years, 3,000 miles, and the unrelenting stresses of adulthood, best friends Janet and Serena plan a 40th birthday girls’ trip to reconnect. But after a massive crash, they’re the only survivors to wash ashore on an uncharted Caribbean Island. Armed with only the clothes on their backs and zero survival skills, they fight to overcome hunger, thirst, deadly wildlife—and most terrifyingly—decades of accrued resentment. Can they find their way home, or will they kill each other first?
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Get ready to Laugh
- By Lasheree McFarlane on 11-08-24
By: Chris Bruno, and others
-
Born a Crime
- Stories from a South African Childhood
- By: Trevor Noah
- Narrated by: Trevor Noah
- Length: 8 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 215,150
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 194,640
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 193,671
In this award-winning Audible Studios production, Trevor Noah tells his wild coming-of-age tale during the twilight of apartheid in South Africa. It’s a story that begins with his mother throwing him from a moving van to save him from a potentially fatal dispute with gangsters, then follows the budding comedian’s path to self-discovery through episodes both poignant and comical.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Great book and perfect narration
- By MarilynArms on 12-15-16
By: Trevor Noah
-
The Best Man's Ghostwriter
- By: Matthew Starr
- Narrated by: Glen Powell, Nicholas Braun, Ashley Park, and others
- Length: 4 hrs and 37 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 910
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 880
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 880
A bad best man’s speech can ruin a wedding. Why do we plan every detail of a perfect day and then give the groom’s idiot best friend five minutes of total power? Enter Nate (Glen Powell), a speechwriter-for-hire who helps people write incredible best man speeches. To keep the best man from embarrassing himself (and the newlyweds), Nate uses his list of don’ts: Don’t mention the exes, don’t be rated R, and don’t bum everyone out. Nate’s system never fails. That is, until he meets Dan (Nicholas Braun).
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
SO GOOD
- By Csutty on 09-23-24
By: Matthew Starr
-
Slaughterhouse-Five
- By: Kurt Vonnegut
- Narrated by: James Franco
- Length: 5 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 18,948
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 16,937
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 16,912
Traumatized by the bombing of Dresden at the time he had been imprisoned, Pilgrim drifts through all events and history, sometimes deeply implicated, sometimes a witness. He is surrounded by Vonnegut's usual large cast of continuing characters (notably here the hack science fiction writer Kilgore Trout and the alien Tralfamadorians, who oversee his life and remind him constantly that there is no causation, no order, no motive to existence).
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4 out of 5 stars
-
Don't Quit Your Daytime Job, James
- By Keith on 11-20-15
By: Kurt Vonnegut
-
The Great Indoors
- By: Ginny Hogan
- Narrated by: Mae Whitman
- Length: 3 hrs and 53 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 276
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 270
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 270
Alice's journey begins as all good journeys do: hitting on the sales guy at REI. After a tumultuous breakup, a quick career transition, family upheaval, and a sobriety journey that didn't fix her life quite as much as she expected it to, Alice decides that the only way to solve all her problems is to hike the Pacific Crest Trail. But as she begins preparing for the months-long quest, she realizes the answers she's seeking might not be on top of a snow-covered mountain. Especially since she just learned there was snow in California.
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5 out of 5 stars
-
Chuck full of laughs to lift anyone's spirits.
- By Laura Boogaert on 09-22-24
By: Ginny Hogan
-
I Can't Make This Up
- Life Lessons
- By: Neil Strauss - contributor, Kevin Hart
- Narrated by: Kevin Hart
- Length: 11 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 56,000
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 50,447
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 50,191
Superstar comedian and Hollywood box-office star Kevin Hart turns his immense talent to the written word by writing some words. Some of those words include: the, a, for, above, and even even. Put them together and you have the funniest, most heartfelt, and most inspirational memoir on survival, success, and the importance of believing in yourself since Old Yeller.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Best Audiobook I Ever Listened To
- By Sam Clear on 07-13-17
By: Neil Strauss - contributor, and others
-
The Perfect Find
- By: Tia Williams
- Narrated by: Wesleigh Siobhan
- Length: 11 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,590
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 1,466
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,463
Jenna Jones, former It-girl fashion editor, is broke and desperate for a second chance. When she’s dumped by her longtime fiancé and fired from Darling magazine, she begs for a job from her old arch nemesis, Darcy Vale. The beyond-bitchy publisher of StyleZine.com, Darcy agrees to hire her rival - only because her fashion site needs a jolt from Jenna’s old school cred. But Jenna soon realizes she’s in over her head.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
A-FREAKING-MAZING!!!
- By Bernadette on 05-30-21
By: Tia Williams
-
American Psycho
- By: Bret Easton Ellis
- Narrated by: Pablo Schreiber
- Length: 16 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 5,259
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 4,662
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 4,670
Patrick Bateman moves among the young and trendy in 1980s Manhattan. Young, handsome, and well educated, Bateman earns his fortune on Wall Street by day while spending his nights in ways we cannot begin to fathom. Expressing his true self through torture and murder, Bateman prefigures an apocalyptic horror that no society could bear to confront.
-
4 out of 5 stars
-
Fanntastic book but maybe not for everyone....
- By So Fain on 03-27-11
-
CRAY
- By: Darrell Hammond, Elizabeth Stein
- Narrated by: Darrell Hammond
- Length: 1 hr and 10 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 143
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 140
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 140
He is one of the longest-running cast members on Saturday Night Live, an American comedy genius renowned for his spot-on sendups of politicians and celebrities. But off-stage, Darrell Hammond’s life was anything but a joke. In CRAY, a special audio performance captured live onstage at Audible’s Minetta Lane Theatre, Hammond brings to life his acclaimed memoir, God, If You're Not Up There, I'm F*cked: Tales of Stand-Up, Saturday Night Live and Other Mind-Altering Mayhem.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Thanks for sharing
- By Nickisnotgary on 09-06-24
By: Darrell Hammond, and others
-
Breakfast of Champions
- By: Kurt Vonnegut
- Narrated by: John Malkovich
- Length: 6 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 4,309
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 3,889
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 3,880
Breakfast of Champions (1973) provides frantic, scattershot satire and a collage of Vonnegut's obsessions. His recurring cast of characters and American landscape was perhaps the most controversial of his canon; it was felt by many at the time to be a disappointing successor to Slaughterhouse-Five, which had made Vonnegut's literary reputation.
-
3 out of 5 stars
-
Kurt Was Right to Grade This a C
- By Dubi on 01-10-16
By: Kurt Vonnegut
-
Heads Will Roll
- By: Kate McKinnon, Emily Lynne
- Narrated by: Kate McKinnon, Emily Lynne, Tim Gunn, and others
- Length: 4 hrs and 6 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 17,427
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 15,879
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 15,813
Heads Will Roll is an Audible Original from Saturday Night Live star Kate McKinnon and her cocreator/costar (and real-life sister) Emily Lynne. Produced by Broadway Video, this is not an audiobook - it’s a 10-episode, star-studded audio comedy that features performances from Meryl Streep, Tim Gunn, Peter Dinklage, Queer Eye’s Fab Five, and so many more. Please note: This content is not for kids.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
More like this please
- By Anon893 on 05-03-19
By: Kate McKinnon, and others
-
Napoleon's Hemorrhoids…And Other Small Events That Changed History
- By: Phil Mason
- Narrated by: LJ Ganser
- Length: 8 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 1,188
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 1,054
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 1,050
Hilarious, fascinating, and a roller coaster of dizzying, historical what-ifs, Napoleon's Hemorrhoids is a potpourri for serious historians and casual history buffs. In one of Phil Mason's many revelations, you'll learn that Communist jets were two minutes away from opening fire on American planes during the Cuban missile crisis, when they had to turn back as they were running out of fuel. You'll discover that before the Battle of Waterloo, Napoleon's painful hemorrhoids prevented him from mounting his horse to survey the battlefield.
-
3 out of 5 stars
-
They just throw the facts too fast
- By Concerned_llama on 12-11-20
By: Phil Mason
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Cults prey on the very attributes that make us human: our desire to belong, to find a deeper meaning in life, to live everyday with divine purpose. Their existence creates a sense that any one of us, at any time, could step off the cliff’s edge and fall into that daunting abyss of manipulation and unhinged dedication to a misplaced cause. Perhaps it’s this mindset that keeps us so utterly obsessed and desperate to learn more, or it’s that the stories are so bizarre and unsettling that we are simply in awe of the mechanics that make these infamous groups tick.
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Sandy!!! She wrote a book...it's crazy, a book!!!
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Paul Scheer has entertained countless fans and podcast listeners with stories about the odd, wild, and absurd details of his life. Yet these tales have pointed to deeper, more difficult truths that the actor and comedian has kept to himself. Now, he is finally ready to share those truths for the first time—but, of course, with a healthy dose of humor.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Paul cheer is funny and deep
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Not worth using a "credit"
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5 out of 5 stars
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2 out of 5 stars
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I Don’t Care about Your Band
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In the tradition of Cynthia Heimel and Chelsea Handler, and with the boisterous iconoclasm of Amy Sedaris, Julie Klausner's candid and funny debut I Don't Care about Your Band sheds light on the humiliations we endure to find love - and the lessons that can be culled from the wreckage. I Don't Care about Your Band posits that lately the worst guys to date are the ones who seem sensitive. It's the jerks in nice guy clothing, not the players in Ed Hardy, who break the hearts of modern girls.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Shopping for Men at the Wrong Mall
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Cults Inside Out: How People Get In and Can Get Out
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 64
-
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You’ve seen them in movies and on TV, but cults are more prevalent than you think - and they’re armed with strategies that can brainwash and persuade even the most unlikely of candidates. But how do individuals get involved with cults in the first place, and what steps can be taken to “deprogram” and heal those who have been drawn into these damaging groups? These questions and more are addressed in Cults Inside Out, written by leading cult expert Rick Alan Ross.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Informative and interesting read!
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Don't Call It a Cult
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Investigative journalist Sarah Berman explores the shocking practices of NXIVM, a cult run by Keith Raniere and many enablers. Through the accounts of central NXIVM figures, Berman uncovers how dozens of women seeking creative coaching and networking opportunities instead were blackmailed, literally branded, near-starved, and enslaved. Don't Call It a Cult is a riveting account of NXIVM's rise to power, its ability to evade prosecution for decades, and the investigation that finally revealed its dark secrets to the world.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Detailed (best for those already interested)
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Dad Is Fat
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In Dad is Fat, stand-up comedian Jim Gaffigan, who’s best known for his legendary riffs on Hot Pockets, bacon, manatees, and McDonald's, expresses all the joys and horrors of life with five young children - everything from cousins ("celebrities for little kids") to toddlers’ communication skills ("they always sound like they have traveled by horseback for hours to deliver important news"), to the eating habits of four-year-olds ("there is no difference between a four-year-old eating a taco and throwing a taco on the floor").
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4 out of 5 stars
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Good for Gaffigan fans - better for expecting dads
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I Choose Darkness
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The holly-jolly holidays aren’t for everyone, least of all when you look back on that one Christmas when there were two definitely haunted dolls waiting for you and your sister under the tree. You have to assume that’s where it all started. And so it was for Jenny Lawson. Now, she lives in the land of eternal Halloween, as evidenced by her interior decor and general state of darkness. (Although, if you ask her, her taxidermy zoo is less dark, more delightful. But not everyone has taste, so what are you going to do?)
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5 out of 5 stars
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Audiobook Treat, Delightful, Short Listen. Laughed out loud and smiled!
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Themes and Variations
- An Essay
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Dismissed by a bored author at a book signing, a betrayed young man named David Sedaris made a vow. Someday, when it was his turn at the table, he’d connect with his readers. The experience has been even more revealing than he’d hoped.In this hilarious and perceptive essay, the celebrated humorist reflects on the unusual patterns of forced socialization between author and audience, and the obligations and sometimes surprising returns of not-so-chance encounters with strangers: jokes, secrets, insights, and even charity.
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5 out of 5 stars
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It’s true!
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By: David Sedaris
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A Carnival of Snackery
- Diaries (2003-2020)
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-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 2,431
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 2,408
If it’s navel-gazing you’re after, you’ve come to the wrong place; ditto treacly self-examination. Rather, his observations turn outward: a fight between two men on a bus, a fight between two men on the street, pedestrians being whacked over the head or gathering to watch as a man considers leaping to his death. There’s a dirty joke shared at a book signing, then a dirtier one told at a dinner party - lots of jokes here. Plenty of laughs.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Tracey Ullman?
- By Kelley R. on 10-05-21
By: David Sedaris
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Yes Please
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- Length: 7 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 54,407
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 47,368
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 47,135
Amy Poehler is hosting a dinner party and you're invited! Welcome to the audiobook edition of Amy Poehler's Yes Please. The guest list is star-studded with vocal appearances from Carol Burnett, Seth Meyers, Michael Schur, Patrick Stewart, Kathleen Turner, and even Amy’s parents - Yes Please is the ultimate audiobook extravaganza.
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5 out of 5 stars
-
Listen to this book for sure
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By: Amy Poehler
-
Cultish
- The Language of Fanaticism
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- Narrated by: Ann Marie Gideon
- Length: 8 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 2,740
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 2,348
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 2,324
What makes “cults” so intriguing and frightening? What makes them powerful? The reason why so many of us binge Manson documentaries by the dozen and fall down rabbit holes researching suburban moms gone QAnon is because we’re looking for a satisfying explanation for what causes people to join - and more importantly, stay in - extreme groups. We secretly want to know: could it happen to me? Amanda Montell’s argument is that, on some level, it already has.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Get this book ASAP
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By: Amanda Montell
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Leslie F*cking Jones
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,914
Hey you guys, it’s Leslie. I’m excited to share my story with you. Now, I’m gonna be honest: Some of the details might be vague because a b*tch is fifty-five and she’s smoked a ton of weed. But while bits might be a touch hazy, I can promise you the underlying truth is REAL.
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5 out of 5 stars
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she's the f*cking BEST
- By Audible Anon on 09-20-23
By: Leslie Jones, and others
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Jim Gaffigan: Quality Time
- By: Jim Gaffigan
- Narrated by: Jim Gaffigan
- Length: 1 hr and 13 mins
- Original Recording
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 386
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 321
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Story5 out of 5 stars 314
Jim Gaffigan is in top form for his seventh comedy special. The four-time Grammy nominated comedian doesn’t understand why we aren’t more honest about the reasons we don’t want to attend events, while at the same time embraces lying to kids. From horses and dog birthdays to traveling and museums, Jim continues to impress. Get ready to sit back and enjoy some Quality Time with Jim Gaffigan!
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4 out of 5 stars
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This is just one of his comedy shows
- By Virginia Snyder on 08-21-20
By: Jim Gaffigan
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The Bedwetter
- Stories of Courage, Redemption, and Pee
- By: Sarah Silverman
- Narrated by: Sarah Silverman
- Length: 5 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 3,564
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 2,815
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Story4 out of 5 stars 2,804
From the outrageously filthy and oddly innocent comedienne and star of the powerful 2015 film I Smile Back Sarah Silverman comes a memoir—her first book—that is at once shockingly personal, surprisingly poignant, and still pee-in-your-pants funny. If you like Sarah's television show The Sarah Silverman Program, or memoirs such as Chelsea Handler's Are You There Vodka? It's Me Chelsea and Artie Lange's Too Fat to Fish, you'll love The Bedwetter.
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5 out of 5 stars
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a surprisingly nice, unsurprisingly funny memoir
- By Jamie on 04-30-10
By: Sarah Silverman
What listeners say about Sure, I'll Join Your Cult
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Cornucarbia
- 09-07-23
Maria is my copilot
From the only comedian who could keep me free of intrusive thoughts for a full set, comes a handy bedside companion to my otherwise difficult (if not externally dramatic) life. Hearing her read her book is endlessly delightful and soon I will have a printed version to cling to during the rough seas that accompany any relationship (that I am in). Thank you again Maria, for teaching me that I am not alone and there is room for me in the world.
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2 people found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Anders
- 09-08-23
Moving, hilarious, extremely worth your time
So glad to have had the audio experience of this book! I’ve loved Maria’s comedy and wisdom for 20 years, and I’m a huge fan of Lady Dynamite, so no surprise that I really enjoyed this as well. It’s a generous, candid, bonkers exploration of the things that shape us: family, creative purpose, love, work, health, and humor (other stuff too, but this text box is getting full). Familiarity with her previous work isn’t required— I wish I’d had this book when I was starting to understand the role of mental health in art.
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Mary Beth Kineke
- 10-22-23
A big fan!
I love the sound of Maria's "voices"! (That's all I really wanted to say, but there is a 15 word minimum.)
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Anonymous User
- 09-08-23
An absolute pleasure
Maria Bamford is generous, raw, and hilarious. I appreciate her honesty and I can’t recommend another memoir higher than this. This was absolutely fantastic. I cried and laughed and listened to pets of it several times.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Jill Farmer
- 09-14-23
Brilliant. Hilarious. Poignant.
Best audio book I’ve ever listened to—really magnificent. I highly recommend this audiobook memoir.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Colleen
- 09-14-23
Grat book
Love Maria Bamford her book is awesome. I laughed out loud and was happy she narrated.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Ruby Woodard
- 10-03-23
Listened to it all in one day!
I am already a fan, from Lady Dynamite- but this really shines with authenticity and generous honesty. I love her even more now.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Mark J. Wilder
- 10-04-23
Very funny and VERY Maria Bamford
Ms. Bamford is a unique voice in the comedic world and this memoir is no different. It's very funny and she manages to make even the lowest parts of her life funny without taking away the seriousness. I love her and want nothing but the best for her.
(If you happen to read this, Maria: Don't park illegally today, okay?)
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- D. Milliken
- 09-14-23
Not Dead?! Well Done!!
How could anyone possibly get a memoir of Maria's without wanting to hear her read it?
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- Bessie Mae
- 09-19-23
I'm a Fan for Good Reason
This whole thing is a content warning: eating disorder, mental illness, suicidality. What's remarkable is how the author deals with these topics with a stunning sense of honesty and humor. And she is rightly famous for her voices and impressions, making the narration exceptionally good. I am definitely a fan of Maria Bamford.
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