This week I talk to Steve, who is trying to balance his care for a friendship that has become emotionally draining, with his care for himself, and we explore questions many of us grapple with:

• How do we distinguish between setting boundaries and abandoning someone we care about?
• How do we honor our own well-being while remaining compassionate toward others?

You’ll hear Steve’s initial conversation about his struggle to let go of a friendship that isn’t meeting his emotional needs, followed by a powerful follow-up discussion two weeks later as he reflects on his journey.

Episode Highlights:

• 3:12 Steve’s Initial Question: Detaching from a friendship that has become emotionally unbalanced.
• 10:00 A script for disengaging from a friendship
• 12:00 Part 2 Intro
• 16:40 What is making it difficult to disengage?
• 21:10 The Role of Validation: How seeking external affirmation can lead to unhealthy dynamics.
• 29:03 Caring for the impact of our actions is not the same as feeling responsible for them.
• 30:31 Closing thoughts: Tools for Boundaries and Clarity: Strategies for balancing care for others with self-compassion.
• 37:20 Questions to ask yourself when wanting to disengage.

Key Takeaways:

1. Setting boundaries is not about rejecting others; it’s about preserving your own emotional well-being.
2. Guilt often arises from taking too much responsibility for others’ emotions—self-compassion is key.
3. Fulfilling relationships are rooted in reciprocity and mutual respect; it’s okay to let go when that’s missing.

Resources Mentioned:

Blog: Boundaries vs. Abandonment: How to Prioritize Yourself Without Guilt

Boundaries Masterclass: A step-by-step guide to setting boundaries that both connect and protect.

Free Resources: Explore tools for self-compassion and emotional clarity at yvetteerasmus.com.

If this episode resonated with you, consider sharing it with your family and friends!

For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.


Subscribe & Follow:
Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Thank you for listening!

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Become a member of my online learning community
• Winter 2025 Retreat: Getting Grounded in Your Goodness
• Join our calls live
• Set up a private session
• Follow me on TikTok @dr.yvetteerasmus

What if the smallest moments of care could transform a relationship or change a life? In this episode, we uncover the surprising power of empathy and connection through two compelling stories. Discover how to meet people where they are, foster deep understanding, and create conversations that truly matter.

We discuss:

• 2:01 How can I help shift someone from self-blame to self-compassion?
• 6:33 What happens when you prioritize connection over solving?
• 7:34 How can presence and empathy shift someone from self-blame to self-compassion?
• 12:57 The difference between a monologue and a conversation
• 16:37 What are some strategies I can use to stay in my lane?
• 23:28 How can I help the woman I care for make a difficult decision?
• 35:44 Practical tips for creating co-created conversations that inspire growth.

Join us for insights, stories, and an invitation to bring these lessons into your life. Don’t forget to sign up for the Getting Grounded in Your Goodness retreat by January 31st!

If this episode resonated with you, consider sharing it with your family and friends!

For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.


Subscribe & Follow:
Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Thank you for listening!

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Become a member of my online learning community
• Winter 2025 Retreat: Getting Grounded in Your Goodness
• Join our calls live
• Set up a private session
• Follow me on TikTok @dr.yvetteerasmus

In this episode, we tackle one of the most challenging aspects of communication: defensiveness. Whether it’s a friend who dismisses others, a family member who reacts sharply, or a coworker who resists feedback, defensiveness often creates distance in relationships. But what if we could work with defensiveness instead of resisting or judging it?

Drawing from real-life listener questions, I explore how to engage with others’ defenses in ways that foster trust, empathy, and connection. Together, we’ll uncover why defensiveness arises, how to approach it with curiosity, and the surprising ways it can become a bridge rather than a barrier. If you’ve ever struggled with someone’s resistance—or your own—this episode is for you. We listen to three different scenarios that can be turned around with the use of really clear requests.


We discuss:

• 1:00 My friend is so judgmental of my other friends. How can I talk to her about this?
• 6:00 Why clear requests are so essential.
• 9:49 Want to experience more care? Try this move.
• 11:39 Leading with curiosity
• 19:44 Working with others' defenses.
• 20:57 How can I warm the relationship I have with my daughter?
• 29:07 How can I request an invitation to dinner?

If this episode resonated with you, consider sharing it with your family and friends!

For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.


Subscribe & Follow:
Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Thank you for listening!

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Become a member of my online learning community
• Winter 2025 Retreat: Getting Grounded in Your Goodness
• Join our calls live
• Set up a private session
• Follow me on TikTok @dr.yvetteerasmus

Today's conversation with Julia and Meka explores the problems with being "normal" and recommends strategies for being authentic and real, instead. The idea of being "normal" can be misused to keep people compliant and obedient - but this isn't always the "healthiest" or wisest move.

Additionally, this episode features some discussion on the way domination systems use the concept to uphold existing power structures via moralistic judgements of "good/bad" and "normal/abnormal".

A takeaway: Instead of asking "Is this normal?" try asking instead "Is this working for me?"

• 3:10 How can I remind others how I want to engage?
• 7:30 Care for the impact vs. responsibility for others' reactions.
• 11:30 What is "normal"?
• 14:26 What the concept of normal is used for.
• 15:32 Why we want to inspire change.
• 18:55 Just because something is normal doesn't mean it's healthy.
• 22:20 The way domination systems use the idea of "normal" to enforce obedience and conformity.
• 30:30 The difference between normal and healthy.
• 35:02 The benefit of embracing our authenticity.
• 39:02 Questions we can ask ourselves to reflect

If this episode resonated with you, consider sharing it with your family and friends!

For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.


Subscribe & Follow:
Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Thank you for listening!

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Become a member of my online learning community
• Winter 2025 Retreat: Getting Grounded in Your Goodness
• Join our calls live
• Set up a private session
• Follow me on TikTok @dr.yvetteerasmus

This week we explore critical themes around racism, bullying, emotional safety, and systemic bias, as we talk with Simone about how to protect her kindergarten son from bullying. In this powerful and emotionally charged episode, you'll witness both empathetic support and strategic advice for navigating the complex dynamics of racism, bias, and systemic inaction. Together, we discuss restorative circles, adultification bias, and practical ways to engage allies while ensuring the safety of vulnerable children. This episode is a must-listen for parents, educators, and anyone working to create safer, more inclusive communities for children.

We discuss:

• 4:05 My son is being bullied at school and it feels racially charged. How can I encourage all parties to care?
• 10:43 Who are the people with the power that need to engage first?
• 14:24 How can I determine my clear request?
• 18:38 A two-pronged approach: changing people's hearts AND changing systems.
• 20:13 Dreaming BIG: imagining a system that works for all people.
• 23:45 Closing thoughts

If this episode resonated with you, consider sharing it with your family and friends!

For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.


Subscribe & Follow:
Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Thank you for listening!

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Become a member of my online learning community
• Winter 2025 Retreat: Getting Grounded in Your Goodness
• Join our calls live
• Set up a private session
• Follow me on TikTok @dr.yvetteerasmus

In this special holiday episode, we explore what happens when connection feels strained, boundaries are tested, and communications gets tough. From dealing with unsolicited advice and navigating silent partners to addressing unresolved conflicts in community and bridging value divides, these four callers bring real-life challenges that many of us can relate to. Together, we'll unpack practical tools, compassionate insights, and reflective questions to help you stay grounded, set boundaries, and maintain connection--even when it's hard.

Show Notes:

• 3:36 Dealing with unsolicited advice from a friend and how to navigate boundaries without snapping.
• 12:17 Silent partners, and how to create emotional safety when difficult conversations arise.
• 26:10 Unresolved conflicts in community, and how to approach delicate conversations with curiosity and care.
• 34:36 Bridging divides on life-and-death issues like vaccines, and how to stay grounded and compassionate when values clash.

Tune in for insights and practical tools on handling the messiness of human relationships, especially during the holiday season. 🎧✨

Resources Mentioned in This Episode:

Relationships as Spiritual Practice
Human 101 (free for Members!)
How to Have Hard Conversations
Blog Post: How to Respond to Silence and Shut Downs

If this episode resonated with you, consider sharing it with your family and friends!

For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.


Subscribe & Follow:
Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Thank you for listening!

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Become a member of my online learning community
• Winter 2025 Retreat: Getting Grounded in Your Goodness
• Join our calls live
• Set up a private session
• Follow me on TikTok @dr.yvetteerasmus

One of the most important stops we can make on our healing journey is figuring out how to sit with uncomfortable feelings. Often, this will appear in the form of others being upset with us. In this episode, we discuss one approach to others' upset: the ability to hear the message even when couched in a clumsy delivery.

We consider:

• 2:00 How can I speak with a friend who's always on her phone?
• 9:22 The key to a difficult conversation? How to elicit more care for more people.
• 14:34 My daughter doesn't want to spend time with me and is often mean. What is a healthy response?
• 18:10 Can you hear the message and ignore the delivery?
• 21:59 Key practices when others are upset with us.

If this episode resonated with you, consider sharing it with your family and friends!

For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.


Subscribe & Follow:
Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Thank you for listening!

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Become a member of my online learning community
• Winter 2025 Retreat: Getting Grounded in Your Goodness
• Join our calls live
• Set up a private session
• Follow me on TikTok @dr.yvetteerasmus

Today, we’re bringing you three heartfelt and deeply relatable conversations:

Co-Parenting with a Narcissist:
How do you protect your children while maintaining your own emotional resilience? We’ll dive into strategies for setting firm boundaries, minimizing conflict, and creating a safe and nurturing environment for your kids—all while managing the complexities of dealing with someone who prioritizes control over collaboration.

Reconnecting with an Adult Child
How do you approach a grown child with whom you’ve had a strained relationship, especially when the past is filled with pain? We’ll explore ways to lead with vulnerability, take responsibility without burdening them, and open the door to reconnection with respect and care.

Navigating Boundaries with a Difficult Roommate
Sharing a home can be a minefield of misunderstandings, especially when personalities clash and past trauma comes into play. We’ll break down how to manage a tense living situation with a roommate who struggles with passive-aggressive communication and territorial behaviors.


We consider:

• 2:15 How can I co-parent best?
• 15:20 Will my requests make a sticky situation worse?
• 20:30 A helpful hint when dealing with narcissistic defenses
• 26:50 How can I open the door to a deeper conversation with my adult child?
• 32:35 What I'd want to hear from an estranged parent
• 38:02 How can I invite my roommate into a conversation?
• 48:30 Closing thoughts

If this episode resonated with you, consider sharing it with your family and friends!

For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.


Subscribe & Follow:
Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Thank you for listening!

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Become a member of my online learning community
• Winter 2025 Retreat: Getting Grounded in Your Goodness
• Join our calls live
• Set up a private session
• Follow me on TikTok @dr.yvetteerasmus