This week I talk to Steve, who is trying to balance his care for a friendship that has become emotionally draining, with his care for himself, and we explore questions many of us grapple with:

• How do we distinguish between setting boundaries and abandoning someone we care about?
• How do we honor our own well-being while remaining compassionate toward others?

You’ll hear Steve’s initial conversation about his struggle to let go of a friendship that isn’t meeting his emotional needs, followed by a powerful follow-up discussion two weeks later as he reflects on his journey.

Episode Highlights:

• 3:12 Steve’s Initial Question: Detaching from a friendship that has become emotionally unbalanced.
• 10:00 A script for disengaging from a friendship
• 12:00 Part 2 Intro
• 16:40 What is making it difficult to disengage?
• 21:10 The Role of Validation: How seeking external affirmation can lead to unhealthy dynamics.
• 29:03 Caring for the impact of our actions is not the same as feeling responsible for them.
• 30:31 Closing thoughts: Tools for Boundaries and Clarity: Strategies for balancing care for others with self-compassion.
• 37:20 Questions to ask yourself when wanting to disengage.

Key Takeaways:

1. Setting boundaries is not about rejecting others; it’s about preserving your own emotional well-being.
2. Guilt often arises from taking too much responsibility for others’ emotions—self-compassion is key.
3. Fulfilling relationships are rooted in reciprocity and mutual respect; it’s okay to let go when that’s missing.

Resources Mentioned:

Blog: Boundaries vs. Abandonment: How to Prioritize Yourself Without Guilt

Boundaries Masterclass: A step-by-step guide to setting boundaries that both connect and protect.

Free Resources: Explore tools for self-compassion and emotional clarity at yvetteerasmus.com.

If this episode resonated with you, consider sharing it with your family and friends!

For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.


Subscribe & Follow:
Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Thank you for listening!

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Become a member of my online learning community
• Winter 2025 Retreat: Getting Grounded in Your Goodness
• Join our calls live
• Set up a private session
• Follow me on TikTok @dr.yvetteerasmus

What if the smallest moments of care could transform a relationship or change a life? In this episode, we uncover the surprising power of empathy and connection through two compelling stories. Discover how to meet people where they are, foster deep understanding, and create conversations that truly matter.

We discuss:

• 2:01 How can I help shift someone from self-blame to self-compassion?
• 6:33 What happens when you prioritize connection over solving?
• 7:34 How can presence and empathy shift someone from self-blame to self-compassion?
• 12:57 The difference between a monologue and a conversation
• 16:37 What are some strategies I can use to stay in my lane?
• 23:28 How can I help the woman I care for make a difficult decision?
• 35:44 Practical tips for creating co-created conversations that inspire growth.

Join us for insights, stories, and an invitation to bring these lessons into your life. Don’t forget to sign up for the Getting Grounded in Your Goodness retreat by January 31st!

If this episode resonated with you, consider sharing it with your family and friends!

For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.


Subscribe & Follow:
Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Thank you for listening!

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Become a member of my online learning community
• Winter 2025 Retreat: Getting Grounded in Your Goodness
• Join our calls live
• Set up a private session
• Follow me on TikTok @dr.yvetteerasmus

In this episode, we tackle one of the most challenging aspects of communication: defensiveness. Whether it’s a friend who dismisses others, a family member who reacts sharply, or a coworker who resists feedback, defensiveness often creates distance in relationships. But what if we could work with defensiveness instead of resisting or judging it?

Drawing from real-life listener questions, I explore how to engage with others’ defenses in ways that foster trust, empathy, and connection. Together, we’ll uncover why defensiveness arises, how to approach it with curiosity, and the surprising ways it can become a bridge rather than a barrier. If you’ve ever struggled with someone’s resistance—or your own—this episode is for you. We listen to three different scenarios that can be turned around with the use of really clear requests.


We discuss:

• 1:00 My friend is so judgmental of my other friends. How can I talk to her about this?
• 6:00 Why clear requests are so essential.
• 9:49 Want to experience more care? Try this move.
• 11:39 Leading with curiosity
• 19:44 Working with others' defenses.
• 20:57 How can I warm the relationship I have with my daughter?
• 29:07 How can I request an invitation to dinner?

If this episode resonated with you, consider sharing it with your family and friends!

For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.


Subscribe & Follow:
Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Thank you for listening!

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Become a member of my online learning community
• Winter 2025 Retreat: Getting Grounded in Your Goodness
• Join our calls live
• Set up a private session
• Follow me on TikTok @dr.yvetteerasmus