You're the Only One I Can Tell

Inside the Language of Women's Friendships

By: Deborah Tannen

Narrated by: Deborah Tannen

This warm, wise exploration of female friendship from the best-selling author of You Just Don't Understand will help women lean in to these powerful relationships.

Best friend, old friend, good friend, BFF, college roommate, neighbor, workplace confidante: women's friendships are lifelines in times of trouble and support systems for daily life. A friend can be like a sister, daughter, mother, mentor, therapist, or confessor - or she can be all of these at once. She's seen you at your worst and celebrates you at your best. Figuring out what it means to be friends is, in the end, no less than figuring out how we connect to other people.

In this illuminating and validating new book, New York Times best-selling author Deborah Tannen deconstructs the ways women friends talk and how those ways can bring friends closer or pull them apart. From casual chatting to intimate confiding, from talking about problems to telling what you had for dinner, Tannen uncovers the patterns of communication and miscommunication that affect friendships at different points in our lives. She shows how even the best of friends - with the best intentions - can say the wrong thing, and how words can repair the damage done by words. Through Tannen's signature insight, humor, and ability to present pitch-perfect real-life dialogue, listeners will hear themselves and their friendships in this book. The book explains:

• The power of women friends who show empathy, give advice - or just listen
• How women use talk to connect to friends - and to subtly compete
• How fear of being left out and fear of getting kicked out can haunt women's friendships
• How social media is reshaping communication and relationships

Drawing on interviews with 80 women of diverse backgrounds, ranging in age from 9 to 97, You're the Only One I Can Tell gets to the heart of women's friendships - how they work or fail, how they help or hurt, and how we can make them better.

©2017 Deborah Tannen (P)2017 Random House Audio

This is a book for anyone

Deborah Tannens advise and insight is as good for males at it is for females.

Fantastic analysis!!

I absolutely loved this book. The insights about the different dynamics of friends are thoughtful and very well explained. The new understanding will not stop me from making mistakes with friends but for sure it will save me $$ with therapy accepting I'm prunning acquaintances.

Excellent & revealing

I loved her book You Just Don’t Understand & this was equally enjoyable. I’ve had only female friends my whole life & am now seeing things in our conversations that I never pinpointed or recognized before. I really enjoyed the book & my best friend is reading it too!

Diluted Tannen at best

I've been reading Deborah Tannen's books for years, and this is a watered down version of her earlier work. The anecdotes are as engaging as ever, but there's precious little else, no new insights to help one navigate interpersonal relationships. I would recommend going to Tannen's earlier books. They may seem dated, but not nearly as dated as this one will be in a year or two (e.g. chapter on social media)

At Your Own Risk

It was somewhat frightening how much this got inside my head- I work with all women and had to take a break from the book because I was getting inside own head and overanalyzing things too much- but in the end I am so glad to have more insight. I will listen to this book again, hopefully at the same time as my mom so that we can discuss it together as I know she also will appreciate the journey of discovery that this book provides. Look forward to reading more from this author.