
Two Necromancers, a Bureaucrat, and an Army of Golems: An Unconventional Heroes Publisher's Pack
Unconventional Heroes, Book 1, 2
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Narrated by:
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Fred Berman
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By:
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L. G. Estrella
About this listen
Contains Books 1 and 2 of the Unconventional Heroes series.
Two Necromancers, a Bureaucrat, and an Elf, book 1:
Two necromancers, a bureaucrat, and an elf - it sounds like the start of a bad joke, only the joke is on Timmy.
Timothy Walter Bolton - better known as Timmy - has spent most of his life as a necromancer. When he isn't terrorising his enemies, he's plotting inside his castle, which is built on top of lightless chasms filled with nameless horrors and beings of a generally malevolent and megalomaniacal nature. But after one of his latest creations, a zombie hydra-dragon-bear, tries to eat him, he decides that maybe it's time to find a new, less dangerous, career.
But that's easier said than done. He's a wanted criminal with no shortage of powerful (and crazy) enemies, and he has a bone or two to pick with the Everton Council of Mages.
It's a good thing that he's got some help: an obnoxious 10-year-old apprentice who thinks that pink glasses are appropriate for a budding necromancer and a bumbling bureaucrat who may or may not make it through their first real fight without puking his guts up. Wonderful.
Two Necromancers, an Army of Golems, and a Demon Lord, book 2:
Two necromancers, an army of golems, and a demon lord - it sounds like a recipe for trouble, and for Timmy, it definitely is.
To earn his pardon and avoid horrible torture and/or gruesome execution, Timmy has to complete every mission the Council throws his way, most of which seem to involve extremely scary things trying to kill him. At least he’s got help - sort of. His help consists of an apprentice with designs on his castle (and her plans may or may not involve overthrowing him), a bureaucrat whose two greatest skills are fainting in the face of trouble and using people (usually Timmy) as human shields, and an elf with the world's worst case of pyromania and enough magic to level a mountain.
Somehow, Timmy's got to get this bunch of unconventional heroes to work together. Trouble is coming, and it's trouble of the kind that only a necromancer like Timmy could possibly find himself in the middle of.
©2014 L. G. Estrella (P)2020 Podium AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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- By riley on 05-13-22
By: Matthew Howry
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Guardsman
- Greymantle Chronicles, Book 1
- By: J. David Baxter
- Narrated by: A.W. Miller
- Length: 11 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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College student Nate Keller is transported to another world where he becomes the target of deadly zealots who serve powerful malevolent gods. He will need to overcome his fears, make allies, and learn new skills to stop a plot that could plunge an entire world into war.
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Refreshingly well written portal fantasy
- By CDM860 on 10-13-23
By: J. David Baxter
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24/7 Demon Mart: Publisher's Pack
- 24/7 Demon Mart, Book 1, 2, 0.1
- By: D.M. Guay
- Narrated by: Todd Haberkorn
- Length: 19 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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24/7 Demon Mart: Publisher's Pack features two books from the 24/7 Demon Mart series: The Graveyard Shift, book one, and Monster Burger, book two. It also includes the bonus Hell for the Holidays, a 24/7 Demon Mart Christmas special. Lloyd Wallace is the most clueless crossing guard the intersection of hell and earth has ever seen. So clueless, that he doesn't even realize the beer cave in the corner store where he works is the gateway to hell.
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cool idea ruined by cartoonish narration
- By AJ on 11-29-20
By: D.M. Guay
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Darkfell
- By: Amanda Wright
- Narrated by: Jonathan Todd Ross
- Length: 11 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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For years, Thom Darkfell has used his cartography skills to advise Lomair's king of the country's shifting borders. A valued academic, Thom is excluded from the military drafts until whispers of dark abominations and mass casualties reach the king's ears. The resulting conscription thrusts Thom into Lomair's losing army. A realist, Thom ignores the wild myths circling through the ranks-until a monster's jaws snap through the folds of reality and crush a man before Thom's eyes. With his dying breath, the Realm Walker passes an impossible task to Thom.
By: Amanda Wright
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Liches Get Stitches
- Liches Get Stitches, Book 1
- By: HJ Tolson
- Narrated by: Ella Lynch
- Length: 8 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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Busy with troubles of her own, Maud the village witch just wants to be left alone. Peace and quiet should be easy enough when you're dead, right? Wrong. Reborn as a powerful lich, Maud is suddenly faced with the attentions of all the righteous heroes, holy clerics, and nosy neighbors of the realm. Now, instead of whiling away the days in her garden with her cat and her knitting, Maud must figure out how much force is required to crush a man's spine, the proper storage solution to keep a spoiling cadaver, and how best to display the remains of the fallen for maximum scare.
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Leveling up in a cheery British accent
- By 🔥 Phx17 🔥 on 09-08-23
By: HJ Tolson
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Friendly Neighborhood Wizard: A Cozy Fantasy
- Friendly Neighborhood Wizard, Book 1
- By: SmilingSatyr
- Narrated by: Eric Burgher
- Length: 12 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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After six years at Saint Balthazar's Academy of Magic, Wil McKenzie has returned to his hometown a bewitching but humble Mr. Fix-It. The farming community of Harper Valley has its fair share of problems, and it's counting on Wil's sigils—and dazzling flicks of the wrist—to solve them. After all, the whole of Harper Valley funded his education. Now, Wil's back in the family fold and working to fill the needs of his neighbors, who all seem to want a fast return on their investment. But whether it's mending fences, ridding a house of vermin, boosting crops, or finding lost children, Wil is ready.
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Very wholesome
- By GGT on 02-20-24
By: SmilingSatyr
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The Sidekicks Initiative: A Comedy Superhero Adventure
- By: Barry J. Hutchison
- Narrated by: Phil Thron
- Length: 11 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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When sworn protectors of Earth, the Justice Platoon, are all horribly killed, their former arch-enemies come crawling out of the woodwork. Outnumbered, outgunned, and out of options, the US government has no choice but to activate the Sidekicks Initiative, dragging the Platoon's middle-aged ex-sidekicks out of retirement. Now these three reluctant, out of shape former child-wonders must work together to stop the rising tide of supervillainy, avenge their former mentors' deaths, and bring the world back from the brink of destruction.
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All hail THE Butterfly King! Ummm... I mean Randy😜
- By C. White on 02-20-19
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Modern Patriarch
- A Xianxia Cultivation Progression Fantasy
- By: Daoist Enigma
- Narrated by: Ralph Lister
- Length: 13 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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When Yao Shen, Patriarch of the Heavenly Sky Sect, ascends and regains memories of his past life on Planet Earth, he realizes that he can no longer allow himself to accept the cruel and violent ways of Eliria, the realm of cultivation. So he decides to change it. It was time to found a new sect. One based on the values of honor and equality over senseless violence and discrimination. A sect where all, from the mortal farmer’s son to a sect elder's daughter, were held accountable to the same rules.
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Not Bad
- By Elonzo on 04-14-24
By: Daoist Enigma
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Vigor Mortis: Volume 1
- Vigor Mortis, Book 1
- By: Natalie Maher, Thundamoo
- Narrated by: Jessica Almasy
- Length: 14 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Casting necromancy without ever learning how to isn't supposed to be possible. A starving orphan girl named Vita is somehow managing it anyway, and she's not sure if this is going to be the solution to her life's problems or a horrifying, spiraling mess of problems she can hardly conceive.
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How do I put this…
- By Jonathan Yelli on 01-21-22
By: Natalie Maher, and others
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Born Different
- A Monster Evolution LitRPG
- By: V. Nator
- Narrated by: Tess Irondale
- Length: 5 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Hatched from an egg along with their many brethren, a singular arachnid is driven by a survival instinct to hunt and feed. Unlike their siblings, they remain cautious and observant, aware of the dangers that lurk in the dungeon they call home. They watch as larger and more powerful beasts prey on other reckless, foolish spiders, developing a sense of self-preservation and a cunning intelligence they alone seem to possess.
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a nice story with sensible progression. Go Click.
- By Scooter McBeas on 06-13-25
By: V. Nator
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Minimum Wage Magic
- By: Rachel Aaron
- Narrated by: Emily Woo Zeller
- Length: 9 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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The DFZ, the metropolis formerly known as Detroit, is the world’s most magical city with a population of nine million and zero public safety laws. That’s a lot of mages, cybernetically enhanced chrome heads, and mythical beasties who die, get into debt, and otherwise fail to pay their rent. When they can’t pay their bills, their stuff gets sold to the highest bidder. That’s when they call me. I’m a Cleaner: a freelance mage employed by the DFZ to sort through the mountains of magical junk people leave behind. It’s not a pretty job, or a safe one....
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One Of My Favorite Authors
- By Connor on 02-14-19
By: Rachel Aaron
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Ancient Things: A High Fantasy Adventure
- The Land of Broken Roads, Book 1
- By: Ryan English
- Narrated by: Peter Kenny
- Length: 10 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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The age of mankind is over, its empire reduced to a land of rubble and broken roads. Vicious things nest in the old, forgotten ruins, and what's left of humanity huddles in tiny communities that grow smaller every generation. But when a young boy is taken in by an unlikely ally, a glimmer of hope is born. After waking up in a mysterious forest with no weapons, supplies, or even memories of his life before, Dirt should have ended up a barely adequate snack. Luckily, he attracts the attention of a gigantic, curious wolf pup, who rescues him, and they quickly become friends.
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Giant Puppy fun
- By Travis Elder on 07-03-25
By: Ryan English
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Red X Wolf
- Damsels of Distress, Book 1
- By: Dakota Krout
- Narrated by: Emily Woo Zeller
- Length: 11 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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Lily Red, known as "Little Red", has trained her entire life to become a system-acknowledged scout under her Grandmother's guidance. Hunting, tracking, and trap-making—she's a master of her craft. But her dreams of joining the elite Scout forces are repeatedly blocked by a leader of the Wyld with a grudge against Grandmother. When Lily uncovers an impending invasion by Wolf Warband, brutal raiders from the frozen north, a deadly challenge offered by their war leader sets her pulse racing.
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Who was this for?
- By Chris Buzon on 03-28-25
By: Dakota Krout
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NPCs
- By: Drew Hayes
- Narrated by: Roger Wayne
- Length: 7 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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What happens when the haggling is done and the shops are closed? When the quest has been given, the steeds saddled, and the adventurers are off to their next encounter? They keep the world running, the food cooked, and the horses shoed, yet what adventurer has ever spared a thought or concern for the Non-Player Characters? In the town of Maplebark, four such NPCs settle in for a night of actively ignoring the adventurers drinking in the tavern when things go quickly and fatally awry.
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Enjoyable if you manage your expectations
- By Miachi on 01-23-15
By: Drew Hayes
A large part of what makes the story entertaining is the parental/humorous tone, off beat world, and interesting characterization. It has a slice of life feel which I found to be a good change of pace from similar stories. Also there is a decent amount of meat on the bone as book 3 is ~15 hours and is quality as well.
The main gripes I had with the book are that the dialogue and character behavior can be repetitive. For instance, there seems to be a reference to how awful Timmy's old master was about every hour. Also the voice of Katie by Fred Berman I found grating. Despite these criticisms, I highly recommend this book. A publisher's pack done right!
Excellent Compilation: Publisher's Pack Done Right
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Love these 2 Necromancers
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Silly, popcorn comedy fantasy
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Entertaining
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extreme enjoyable
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Quirky story
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book amazing!
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Very enjoyable listen
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it's not gonna change your view of the world or make you think, but this book will be a better way to spend your time than most shows on TV these days.
Fred Berman has a wide variety of voices and keep them both consist and destinct. he was a joy to listen to
a great comedy with better characters
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The funny side of necromancy.
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