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This Shit Only Happens to Me
- Narrated by: K-D.
- Length: 40 mins
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This Shit Only Happens to Me
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Publisher's summary
It’s all fun and games...until somebody goes to jail. Grab some herbal tea. You’ll need it.
Here are 10 wild true tales, including:
- "Short and Unsweet"
- "Kissing Cousins"
- "Tag, You It!"
- "It Was 100 Degrees That Day!"
The stories cover scenarios such as these:
- When I met my best friend, he was on trial. I was on the jury.
- One night my homegirl bailed on me. She went clubbing. I went to jail.
- The reason I escaped being arrested at work.
- Which relative I accidentally dated.
- What's with my college roommate and rubbing alcohol?
I can’t make this stuff up.
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-
Story4 out of 5 stars 63
Widely published journalist William Van Meter returned to his hometown of Bowling Green, Kentucky to research this harrowing account of a horrifying crime that occurred at Western Kentucky University. In 2003, attractive college student Katie Autry was found dead in her dorm room after being raped, stabbed, and set on fire. As Van Meter delves into the facts of the case, further disturbing information surfaces.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Excellent!
- By brooke whitehead on 01-09-23
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Trejo
- My Life of Crime, Redemption, and Hollywood
- By: Danny Trejo, Donal Logue
- Narrated by: Danny Trejo, Donal Logue
- Length: 13 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 2,474
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 2,241
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Story5 out of 5 stars 2,243
On screen, Danny Trejo the actor is a baddie who has been killed at least a hundred times. He’s been shot, stabbed, hanged, chopped up, squished by an elevator, and once, was even melted into a bloody goo. Off screen, he’s a hero beloved by recovery communities and obsessed fans alike. But the real Danny Trejo is much more complicated than the legend.
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5 out of 5 stars
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The best book ever!
- By Nicolas Rocha on 07-08-21
By: Danny Trejo, and others
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Ice
- A Memoir of Gangster Life and Redemption - from South Central to Hollywood
- By: Douglas Century
- Narrated by: Mirron Willis
- Length: 7 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 410
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 364
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 369
Ice-T here offers his hip-hop generation’s Horatio Alger story: the narrative of an orphaned child who, drawn inexorably into a harrowing life of crime, ultimately turns away from the streets and, through self-discipline and a single-minded work ethic, forges a path to international fame as a musician and film-and-television star.
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5 out of 5 stars
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I have a whole new respect for this man!
- By kris on 11-19-12
By: Douglas Century
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Wanna Bet?
- A Degenerate Gambler's Guide to Living on the Edge
- By: Artie Lange
- Narrated by: Oliver Wyman
- Length: 6 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 359
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 323
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 320
The two-time best-selling author, comedian, actor, and radio icon explains the philosophy that has kept his existence boredom-free since the age of 13 - the love of risk. An avid sports better and frequent card player, Lange believes that the true gambler gets high not from winning, but from the chaotic unknown of betting itself. He recounts some of his favorite moments, many of which haven't involved money at all. In this candid and entertaining memoir, he looks back at the times he's wagered the intangible and priceless things in life: his health, his career, and his relationships.
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5 out of 5 stars
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who needs Artie (to read)
- By B. Wenners on 08-24-18
By: Artie Lange
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A Pimp's Life
- By: Treasure Hernandez
- Narrated by: Keith Benn Jr.
- Length: 6 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 423
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 376
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Story4 out of 5 stars 379
In the tradition of Donald Goines and Iceberg Slim comes A Pimp’s Life, the story of the rise and fall of Mack Jones. He’s at the top of his pimp game in Queens, New York, until he breaks one of the cardinal rules of Pimping 101 and falls in love with one of his girls. Destiny was once an innocent young girl tricked into selling her body, but now she’s as tough as the most seasoned professionals on the street. Then a tragic turn of events causes her to open her heart once again.
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2 out of 5 stars
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SMH....
- By Emanuelinc on 12-09-20
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Junkie Love
- By: Joe Clifford
- Narrated by: Timothy McKean
- Length: 6 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 114
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 98
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 98
From the cow fields of Connecticut to the streets of San Francisco, Joe Clifford's Junkie Love traverses the lost highways of America, down the rocky roads of mental illness to the dead ends of addiction. Based on Clifford's own harrowing experience with drugs as a rock 'n' roll wannabe in the 1990s, the audiobook draws on the best of Kerouac and the Beats, injecting a heavy dose of pulp fiction as it threads a rollicking narrative through a doomed love triangle, lit up by the many strange characters he meets along the way.
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5 out of 5 stars
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WOW! an inside look into an junkies mind
- By TinkerMel on 05-16-17
By: Joe Clifford
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Once a Cop
- The Street, the Law, Two Worlds, One Man
- By: Corey Pegues
- Narrated by: Corey Pegues
- Length: 10 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 389
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 355
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 357
New Jack City meets Serpico in this provocative memoir of a crack dealer-turned-decorated NYPD officer - a timely reflection on the complex relationship between the police and the communities they are meant to protect.
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3 out of 5 stars
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A POSSIBLE GOOD BOOK RUINED BY NARRATION
- By The Louligan on 05-29-16
By: Corey Pegues
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Home Before Daylight
- My Life on the Road with the Grateful Dead
- By: Steve Parish, Joe Layden - contributor, Bob Weir - foreword
- Narrated by: Sean Runnette
- Length: 9 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 258
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 225
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Story5 out of 5 stars 225
Steve Parish was never one to walk the straight-and-narrow, even during his childhood growing up in Flushing Meadow, Queens. Busted as a teenager for selling acid in the summer of 1968, Parish landed in Riker's Island. The experience changed him, and after getting out, he did his best to stay out of trouble, securing a job moving music equipment at the New York State Pavilion. The first show he worked was a Grateful Dead concert in July of 1969, and Parish was captivated by the music. A life seemingly headed nowhere had suddenly found its calling.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Narrator-Blaa
- By MORGAN NOTEL on 10-06-19
By: Steve Parish, and others
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You're Making Me Hate You
- A Cantankerous Look at the Common Misconception That Humans Have Any Common Sense Left
- By: Corey Taylor
- Narrated by: Corey Taylor
- Length: 7 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,184
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 1,070
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,066
In the tradition of the late, great George Carlin, Corey Taylor, the lead singer of Slipknot and Stone Sour, sounds off in hilarious fashion about the many vagaries of modern life that piss him off. Whether it's people's rude behavior in restaurants and malls, the many indignities of air travel, eye-searingly terrible fashion choices, dangerously clueless drivers, and - most of all - the sorry state of much modern music, Taylor's humor and insight cover civil society's seeming decline.
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5 out of 5 stars
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New perspective.
- By jeremy on 09-22-15
By: Corey Taylor
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Crash and Burn
- By: Artie Lange, Anthony Bozza
- Narrated by: Sean Runnette
- Length: 10 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,211
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,082
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,083
At a high point in his career, Artie Lange performed a sold-out show in Carnegie Hall-and he did it with a pocketful of heroin. In the midst of a deep, self-destructive depression, addicted to heroin, cocaine, and prescription drugs, he lashed out at everyone around him-from his cohosts on The Howard Stern Show to celebrity guests and even his longtime friends. Then came his legendary meltdown on-air, with 6 million people listening, after which Lange pulled himself together enough to go to a buddy's bachelor party in Amsterdam.
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3 out of 5 stars
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[Narrator Fail] Comic Genius+Depression+Drugs=Mess
- By Hilary on 11-07-13
By: Artie Lange, and others
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The Pursuit of Happyness (Abridged)
- By: Chris Gardner
- Narrated by: Andre Blake
- Length: 5 hrs and 42 mins
- Abridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 422
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 260
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 260
At the age of 20, Chris Gardner arrived in San Francisco to pursue a promising career in medicine. However, he surprised everyone and himself by setting his sights on the competitive world of high finance. Yet no sooner had he landed an entry-level position at a prestigious firm, Gardner found himself caught in a web of incredibly challenging circumstances that left him part of the city's working homeless with his toddler son.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Very Good Story!
- By Lito Da Critic on 06-02-06
By: Chris Gardner
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Trust No Man
- By: Cash
- Narrated by: Brandon Rubin
- Length: 10 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 241
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 210
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 207
Terrence aka Youngblood is a young and jiggy stick-up kid in ATL with strict street principles respect for the code of his game, loyalty to those who are loyal to him, and much baby mama drama. Shan, Youngblood's cocaine sniffin' baby mama, violates him when she hooks up with one of his partnaz while Youngblood is serving a bid. When Youngblood touches down, it's on and poppin. Rich kid, a flamboyant drug kingpin wants to put Youngblood on his team, but Youngblood prefers to get his the fast way the ski mask way.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Good Read with different twist!
- By Coco Smiles on 04-09-15
By: Cash
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All Souls
- A Family Story from Southie
- By: Michael Patrick MacDonald
- Narrated by: Michael Patrick MacDonald
- Length: 8 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 41
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 36
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Story5 out of 5 stars 36
The anti-busing riots of 1974 forever changed Southie, Boston's working-class Irish community, branding it as a violent, racist enclave. Michael Patrick MacDonald grew up in Southie's Old Colony housing project. He describes the way this world within a world felt to the troubled yet keenly gifted observer he was even as a child. But the threats - poverty, drugs, a shadowy gangster world - were real. All Souls is heartbreaking testimony to lives lost too early, and the story of how a place so filled with pain could still be "the best place in the world".
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5 out of 5 stars
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this book broke me in the best way
- By anon on 02-14-23
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A Very Punchable Face
- A Memoir
- By: Colin Jost
- Narrated by: Colin Jost
- Length: 7 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 9,732
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 8,411
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 8,356
If there’s one trait that makes someone well-suited to comedy, it’s being able to take a punch - metaphorically and, occasionally, physically. Told with a healthy dose of self-deprecation, A Very Punchable Face reveals the brilliant mind behind some of the dumbest sketches on television, and lays bare the heart and humor of a hardworking guy - with a face you can’t help but want to punch.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Amazing
- By Erin E. Kace on 07-27-20
By: Colin Jost
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Basketball Junkie
- A Memoir
- By: Chris Herren, Bill Reynolds
- Narrated by: Peter Berkrot
- Length: 6 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 103
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 91
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Story5 out of 5 stars 92
At basketball-crazy Durfee High School in Fall River, Massachusetts, junior guard Chris Herren carried his family’s and the city’s dreams on his skinny frame. His grandfather, father, and older brother had created their own sports legends in a declining city; he was the last, best hope for a career beyond the shuttered mills and factories. Herren was heavily recruited by major universities, chosen as a McDonald’s All-American, featured in a Sports Illustrated cover story, and at just seventeen years old became the central figure in Fall River Dreams, an acclaimed book about the 1994 Durfee team’s quest for the state championship.
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5 out of 5 stars
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most powerful recovery story I've ever heard
- By Brian Swasey on 03-23-22
By: Chris Herren, and others