The Origins of You

How Breaking Family Patterns Can Liberate the Way We Live and Love

By: Vienna Pharaon

Narrated by: Vienna Pharaon

NATIONAL BESTSELLER

From licensed therapist and popular Instagram relationship expert Vienna Pharaon (@mindfulmft, +683K followers) comes a profound guide to understanding and overcoming wounds from your Family of Origin—the foundation of how we relate to others, ourselves, and the world around us.

None of us had a perfect childhood; we are all carrying around behaviors that don’t serve us—and may in fact be hurting us. But it doesn’t have to be that way, says licensed marriage and family therapist Vienna Pharaon. Our past might create our patterns, but we can change those patterns for the better...with the right tools.

In The Origins of You, Pharaon has unlocked a healing process to help us understand our Family of Origin—the family and framework we grew up within—and examine what worked (and didn’t) in that system. Unhealed pain (or “wounds”) in that Family of Origin will manifest in our adult behaviors in surprising ways, from work challenges to interpersonal struggles. But the good news: armed with the knowledge about our past, we can actually rewire our programming to meaningfully improve our relationships and our lives, right now and in the future.

It doesn’t matter whether you’ve been in therapy for decades, or whether therapy isn’t for you. It doesn’t matter if you had a great childhood, or a terrible one. You can create change and resolve things from the past that need your attention. Complete with guided introspection, personal experiences, client stories, and frameworks for having difficult conversations to complement each chapter, The Origins of You will teach you how to break family patterns and help you liberate the way you live and love.

©2023 Vienna Pharaon (P)2023 Penguin Audio

Critic reviews

One of Amazon’s Best Books of the Month
One of Hollywood Reporter’s Best Gifts for Sparking Optimism

“The Origins of You offers us a promise: our family of origin, no matter how damaged it might have been, does not determine our destiny. With empathy and wisdom, Vienna Pharaon explains how our past creates our patterns—patterns we’re still living out today—and how we can shift those habits to create a new, healthier path for ourselves. Vienna's book is a gift.” —Nedra Glover Tawwab, author of Set Boundaries, Find Peace

“Change your behavior, change your life. Licensed therapist and relationship expert Vienna Pharaon wrote The Origins of You to help readers break unhealthy patterns of behavior in order to enjoy a better way of life. Each chapter includes worksheets for introspection, which will help you heal old wounds to create meaningful change in relationships with others as well as yourself.” —Hollywood Reporter

“[Pharaon] offers tools to communicate and set boundaries in relationships, and encourages readers to make changes to take control of their own relationship dynamics and move beyond their past trauma…She encourages readers to seek out therapy, while still offering them a starting place to understand their trauma and guide them through the work that they will need to do as they move forward…Will appeal to fans of Pharaon’s Instagram page and those seeking a self-help guide to help them navigate family patterns and take control of their love lives.” —Library Journal

Wow, that was good

This is one of the best self reflective books. I learned so much and came out with a broad understanding of my relationships with family and friends. Thank you I’m forever changed.

So good for those of us on a healing journey!

This is a must for anyone who is trying to grow and heal. I think I’m going to buy the paper copy to go back and highlight things I want to remember!

Powerful

This book definitely was unique in the space of psychotherapy and psychology. I gained a lot from it and hope more people will take the deep dive even though it may feel uncomfortable or hard , it’s work that’s worthwhile ! Great read

The best self discovery book ever written

Wow, just wow. I have consumed a fair amount of self help books but this is hands down the best one. Pharaon’s ability to make this approachable is remarkable. Standing ovation.

10/10 recommend for every human

This book provides a blueprint to get to the deep dark places within us and how to heal them

An instant staple

As a licensed couple and family therapist, myself; and as the second reviewer of this audiobook; let me be among the first to declare this book an instant a staple in our field. Vienna’s way of synthesizing attachment, family systems, inner child work, and more is so clear and accessible, that I’ll be recommending this book to literally everyone. On top of it, I could hear Vienna’s warmth, kindness, and empathy throughout the reading. Congrats to you, the listener, for choosing a real masterpiece.

Beyond a SELF HELP BOOK

This is the true definition of a self help book. You will learn so much about yourself that you will want to encourage everyone you know to read it. The explanations, examples, and writing prompts allows for the reader to feel safe and connected.

Life changing advice

My trust wound is a big hurdle in my life and she explains how that could have originated. Makes so much sense and I can be nicer to myself while I work on it.

Eye opening and extremely vulnerable

This was so amazing to listen to. Not only is her voice so soothing but while talking about trauma she was able to still somehow make it comfortable. I am an inner healing coach and I talk about trauma often but some of these wounds she talks about were things I’ve heard of for the first time. Many of these wounds I can relate to. Thank you for sharing your heart with us. You can tell just how much you enjoy helping others heal. We appreciate you!

Great content

Everyone should read this book! So enlightening and easy listening. Learned a lot about my self and others