
The Perfectionist's Guide to Losing Control
A Path to Peace and Power
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Narrado por:
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Katherine Morgan Schafler
Acerca de esta escucha
Selected for USA Today's Best Books of 2023
Selected as Editor's Pick in Amazon's Best Books of 2023
From psychotherapist Katherine Morgan Schafler, an invitation to every “recovering perfectionist” to challenge the way they look at perfectionism, and the way they look at themselves.
We’ve been looking at perfectionism all wrong. As psychotherapist and former on-site therapist at Google Katherine Morgan Schafler argues in The Perfectionist's Guide to Losing Control, you don’t have to stop being a perfectionist to be healthy. For women who are sick of being given the generic advice to “find balance,” a new approach has arrived.
Which of the five types of perfectionist are you? Classic, intense, Parisian, messy, or procrastinator? As you identify your unique perfectionist profile, you'll learn how to manage each form of perfectionism to work for you, not against you. Beyond managing it, you'll learn how to embrace and even enjoy your perfectionism. Yes, enjoy!
Full of stories and brimming with humor, empathy, and depth, this book is a love letter to the ambitious, high achieving, full-of-life clients who filled the author’s private practice, and who changed her life. It’s a clarion call for all women to dare to want more without feeling greedy or ungrateful. Ultimately, this book will show you how to make the single greatest trade you’ll ever make in your life, which is to exchange superficial control for real power.
©2023 Katherine Morgan Schafler (P)2023 Penguin AudioLos oyentes también disfrutaron...
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Reseñas de la Crítica
“From an emerging thought leader, an irresistible invitation to reclaim your natural state of wholeness, your joy and your life."—Deepak Chopra, New York Times bestselling author of Abundance
"A valuable, much-needed perspective that gives you permission to be more in a world that's telling you to be less.”—Lori Gottlieb, New York Times bestselling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone
"An accessible, actionable guide for how to aim high without overthinking or punishing yourself along the way. This book is a must-read for anxious achievers who want to remain ambitious but could operate with a bit more self-compassion."—Liz Fosslien, coauthor and illustrator of the bestselling books Big Feelings and No Hard Feelings
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Being alone doesn’t have to be lonely. Consider taking time to reflect, regroup, and reconnect with the most important person in your life - you. The Loneliness Companion can help you cope with feelings of alienation and isolation while finding comfort and community in our hyperconnected modern world. Learn how to boost self-confidence and build self-esteem. The Loneliness Companion delivers real, actionable exercises and evidence-based strategies so you can navigate loneliness, heal from past relationships, and gain a healthier, positive approach to dating.
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A completely useless book
- De Anonymous User en 01-26-21
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The Emotional Edge
- Discover Your Inner Age, Ignite Your Hidden Strengths, and Reroute Misdirected Fear to Live Your Fullest
- De: Crystal Andrus Morissette
- Narrado por: Andi Arndt
- Duración: 9 h y 24 m
- Versión completa
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The Emotional Edge is an exciting expansion of Crystal's successful brand - she has tackled weight management, confidence building, and spiritual growth; now she combines all that and more into her most powerful program yet. The Emotional Edge is a guide for letting go of the past and embracing a more empowered future. This audiobook is spiritual self-help designed to teach listeners how to overcome behavioral ruts and engage the world from a happier, more empowered place.
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the world needs more of this.
- De Amber Jessop en 11-25-17
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Perfectly Hidden Depression
- How to Break Free from the Perfectionism That Masks Your Depression
- De: Margaret Robinson Rutherford PhD
- Narrado por: Eleanor Caudill
- Duración: 5 h y 51 m
- Versión completa
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If you were raised to believe that painful emotions are a sign of weakness, or if being vulnerable has always made you feel unsafe, then you may have survived by creating a perfect-looking life - a life where you appear to be successful, engaged, and always there for others. The problem? You're filled with self-criticism and shame, and you can't allow yourself to express fear, anger, loss, or grief. You recognize something is wrong, but you're not sure what exactly - only that you feel trapped and alone. If this sounds like you, you may have perfectly hidden depression (PHD).
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Amazing
- De Kimberly Davis en 10-27-20
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Fierce Self-Compassion
- How Women Can Harness Kindness to Speak Up, Claim Their Power, and Thrive
- De: Kristin Neff
- Narrado por: Jean Ann Douglass
- Duración: 12 h y 34 m
- Versión completa
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Kristin Neff changed how we talk about self-care with her enormously popular first book, Self-Compassion. Now, 10 years and many studies later, she expands her body of work to explore a brand-new take on self-compassion. Although kindness and self-acceptance allow us to be with ourselves as we are, in all our glorious imperfection, the desire to alleviate suffering at the heart of this mindset isn't always gentle, sometimes it's fierce.
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Liberal Activism distracting
- De Janiene en 07-26-21
De: Kristin Neff
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Make Peace with Your Mind
- How Mindfulness and Compassion Can Free You from Your Inner Critic
- De: Mark Coleman
- Narrado por: Mark Coleman
- Duración: 6 h y 19 m
- Versión completa
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The inner critic is the voice inside our heads reminding us that we are never "good enough". It's behind the insidious thoughts that can make us second-guess our every action and doubt our own value. The inner critic might feel overpowering, but it can be managed effectively. Meditation teacher and therapist Mark Coleman helps listeners understand and free themselves from the inner critic using the tools of mindfulness and compassion.
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Life changing!
- De Lisa Ackerman en 12-28-20
De: Mark Coleman
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The Codependency Recovery Plan
- A 5-Step Guide to Understand, Accept, and Break Free from the Codependent Cycle
- De: Krystal Mazzola M.Ed LMFT
- Narrado por: Linda Henning
- Duración: 4 h y 19 m
- Versión completa
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You can say no. You can stop people-pleasing and start setting boundaries. You can ask for what you need. You can love and be loved - without sacrifice - by breaking the codependency cycle. The Codependency Recovery Plan empowers you to have healthy, happy interdependent relationships. This actionable five-step program is designed to help you get in touch with yourself, assert boundaries, and communicate confidently. You’ll be free to nurture true intimacy.
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Great content, audio not for the neurodiverse
- De Danielle A en 01-30-23
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The Science of Stuck
- Breaking Through Inertia to Find Your Path Forward
- De: Britt Frank LSCSW
- Narrado por: Sasha Heinz, Britt Frank LSCSW
- Duración: 7 h y 8 m
- Versión completa
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General
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Narración:
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Historia
We all experience stuckness in our lives. We feel stuck in our relationships, career paths, body struggles, addiction issues, and more. Many of us know what we need to do to move forward—but find ourselves unable to take the leap to make it happen. And then we blame and shame ourselves, and stay in a loop of self-doubt that goes nowhere. The good news is you’re not lazy, crazy, or unmotivated. In this empowering and action-oriented guide, you’ll discover why we can’t think our way forward—and how to break through what’s holding us back.
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Mental health is a physical process
- De Meagen G. en 04-18-22
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Real Happiness at Work
- Meditations for Accomplishment, Achievement, and Peace
- De: Sharon Salzberg
- Narrado por: Sharon Salzberg
- Duración: 7 h y 33 m
- Versión completa
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How would you like to be calmer, less distracted, more productive, and more content at your job? You might think it would take more hours in the day, a better boss, more support, less interference, a shorter commute - and the list goes on. Most of the things we think would help are either not in our control or simply not realistic. But there is one thing we can do to achieve the qualities we seek, and it can be done invisibly and often: meditation.
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inspirational and totally useful
- De C. L. Campion en 10-21-15
De: Sharon Salzberg
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Trust Again
- De: Debi Silber PhD
- Narrado por: Debi Silber PhD
- Duración: 7 h y 36 m
- Versión completa
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Historia
During times of betrayal, when we most need support, sometimes the ones we would turn to first are the betrayers. Other times, we’re saddled with shame and fear. But it’s during these times that we need to learn to trust again. This book offers support, comfort, and community to those struggling with feelings associated with betrayal and guides them to healing from painful experiences of it. Listeners will learn about and move through five stages from betrayal to breakthrough and will be lovingly guided with tools and strategies along the way.
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Life changing
- De KM en 07-27-22
De: Debi Silber PhD
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Bad Advice
- How to Survive and Thrive in an Age of Bullshit
- De: Dr. Venus Nicolino
- Narrado por: Dr. Venus Nicolino
- Duración: 5 h y 31 m
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In Bad Advice, relationship expert Dr. Venus Nicolino - aka Dr. V - takes a blowtorch to the shrink-wrapped “feel good” BS that passes for self-help these days. Smart and irreverent, Dr. V fuses the brains and insight of a nerdy PhD with the heart of a doting Italian mother and the artful profanity of a Philly trucker. Dr. V’s signature combination of humor, hard science, and heart make Bad Advice an iconoclastic course correction like no other. Bad Advice is a fiercely sharp wake-up call that tackles some of self-help’s most damaging truisms.
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Not my cup of tea.
- De ocean22 en 05-18-19
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The Anxious Perfectionist
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The Anxious Perfectionist shines a much-needed light on the hidden costs of "being the best," and offers essential skills based in acceptance and commitment therapy to help you cope with the anxiety that is driven by your perfectionism. You'll learn how your "need to be perfect" can actually hinder your productivity and keep you from reaching your goals. You'll also learn skills to help you gain distance from negative self-talk, let go of unhelpful and self-limiting labels, and give yourself permission to make mistakes while still honoring your aspirations.
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The Book of Moods
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Five years ago, Lauren Martin was sure something was wrong with her. She had a good job in New York, an apartment in Brooklyn, a boyfriend, yet every day she wrestled with feelings of inferiority, anxiety and irritability. It wasn't until a chance encounter with a (charming, successful) stranger who revealed that she also felt these things, that Lauren set out to better understand the hold that these moods had on her, how she could change them, and began to blog about the wisdom she uncovered.
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A great book to remind you to not take life so seriously.
- De Shana Osborne en 02-23-21
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How to Be an Imperfectionist: The New Way to Self-Acceptance, Fearless Living, and Freedom from Perfectionism
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Perfectionism is a naturally limiting mindset. For example, kids are taught to color inside the lines, and any color outside the lines is considered a mistake that must be corrected. Imperfectionism frees us to live outside the lines, where possibilities are infinite, mistakes are allowed, and self-judgment is minimal.
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The Science of Stuck
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We all experience stuckness in our lives. We feel stuck in our relationships, career paths, body struggles, addiction issues, and more. Many of us know what we need to do to move forward—but find ourselves unable to take the leap to make it happen. And then we blame and shame ourselves, and stay in a loop of self-doubt that goes nowhere. The good news is you’re not lazy, crazy, or unmotivated. In this empowering and action-oriented guide, you’ll discover why we can’t think our way forward—and how to break through what’s holding us back.
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Mental health is a physical process
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When Perfect Isn't Good Enough (Second Edition)
- Strategies for Coping with Perfectionism
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- Narrado por: Mike Chamberlain
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In this fully revised and updated second edition of When Perfect Isn't Good Enough, you'll discover the root cause of your perfectionism, explore the impact of perfectionism on your life, and find new, proven-effective coping skills to help you overcome your anxiety about making mistakes. This guide also includes tips for dealing with other perfectionists and discussions about how perfectionism is linked to worry, depression, anger, social anxiety, and body image.
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Great help
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The Wisest One in the Room
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Renowned psychologists describe the most useful insights from social psychology that can help make you "wise": wise about why people behave the way they do, and wise about how to use that knowledge in understanding and influencing the people in your life. When faced with a challenge, we often turn to those we trust for words of wisdom. Friends, relatives, and colleagues - someone with the best advice about how to boost sales, the most useful insights into raising children, or the sharpest take on an ongoing conflict.
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Not Really About Wisdom. Nothing New Here.
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The Anxious Perfectionist
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The Anxious Perfectionist shines a much-needed light on the hidden costs of "being the best," and offers essential skills based in acceptance and commitment therapy to help you cope with the anxiety that is driven by your perfectionism. You'll learn how your "need to be perfect" can actually hinder your productivity and keep you from reaching your goals. You'll also learn skills to help you gain distance from negative self-talk, let go of unhelpful and self-limiting labels, and give yourself permission to make mistakes while still honoring your aspirations.
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Game Changer
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Five years ago, Lauren Martin was sure something was wrong with her. She had a good job in New York, an apartment in Brooklyn, a boyfriend, yet every day she wrestled with feelings of inferiority, anxiety and irritability. It wasn't until a chance encounter with a (charming, successful) stranger who revealed that she also felt these things, that Lauren set out to better understand the hold that these moods had on her, how she could change them, and began to blog about the wisdom she uncovered.
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A great book to remind you to not take life so seriously.
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How to Be an Imperfectionist: The New Way to Self-Acceptance, Fearless Living, and Freedom from Perfectionism
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Perfectionism is a naturally limiting mindset. For example, kids are taught to color inside the lines, and any color outside the lines is considered a mistake that must be corrected. Imperfectionism frees us to live outside the lines, where possibilities are infinite, mistakes are allowed, and self-judgment is minimal.
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Please read 8,100,352 times
- De Sandra Makuch en 10-16-16
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The Science of Stuck
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We all experience stuckness in our lives. We feel stuck in our relationships, career paths, body struggles, addiction issues, and more. Many of us know what we need to do to move forward—but find ourselves unable to take the leap to make it happen. And then we blame and shame ourselves, and stay in a loop of self-doubt that goes nowhere. The good news is you’re not lazy, crazy, or unmotivated. In this empowering and action-oriented guide, you’ll discover why we can’t think our way forward—and how to break through what’s holding us back.
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The Wisest One in the Room
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Simple Thinking
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Awaken your passion, and tap in to your inner greatness as you remove the metaphorical clutter from your life with Simple Thinking. You'll learn how to expand your mind and understand your true potential through the power of thinking simply while stripping back the jargon and digging to the core of any obstacle in your way.
De: Richard Gerver
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When Depression Hurts Your Relationship
- How to Regain Intimacy and Reconnect with Your Partner When You're Depressed
- De: Shannon Kolakowski PsyD, Craig Malkin - foreword PhD
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If you are in the midst of depression, you may worry that you aren't good enough for your partner, or become irritable around them. You may even push them away when you feel like your emotions are beyond your control. In addition, your sense of intimacy may diminish, and your sex life may fizzle as a result of fatigue, medications and feeling disconnected from your partner. The hard truth is that feelings of isolation, worthlessness, and tiredness can all take a hefty toll on your love life. But you don't have to let depression be the demise of your relationship.
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Wish I would have listened to it years ago!
- De Jesse en 05-04-23
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Present Perfect
- A Mindfulness Approach to Letting Go of Perfectionism and the Need for Control
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While there's no doubt that setting high standards for yourself is a good thing, you've probably already noticed that perfectionism can come at a high price. And when you take steps to try to change, it's easy to be too hard on yourself and fall into the same traps that keep you feeling stressed and disappointed. This book presents a revolutionary approach to overcoming perfectionism—a way to transform your need for precision into self-acceptance, compassion, and love for each perfectly imperfect passing moment in our lives.
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The bane of Perfectionism!
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De: Pavel Somov PhD
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Girl Gurl Grrrl
- On Womanhood and Belonging in the Age of Black Girl Magic
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Black women have never been more visible or more publicly celebrated. But for every milestone, every magazine cover, every new face elected to public office, the reality of everyday life for black women remains a complex, conflicted, contradiction-laden experience. An American journalist who has been living in London for a decade, Kenya Hunt has made a career of distilling moments, movements, and cultural moods into words. Her work takes the difficult and the indefinable and makes it accessible; it is razor sharp cultural observation threaded through evocative and relatable stories.
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Inspired
- De Amazon Customer en 01-29-21
De: Kenya Hunt
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Keep It Shut
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- De: Karen Ehman
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Kind, encouraging, and humorous, Karen Ehman helps us learn the essential practice of using our words more effectively - alleviating heartache and regret, reducing relational tension and conflict, lessening our stress levels, and growing our relationship with God. From Bible times to modern times women have struggled with their words. What to say and how to say it. What not to say. When it is best to remain silent. And what to do when you’ve said something you wish you could now take back.
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Horrid
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Kind Words for Unkind Days
- A Guide to Surviving and Thriving in Difficult Times
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- Narrado por: Jayne Hardy
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The perfect practical pick-me-up for life's tough days, this book is the perfect guide to help you feel happier, healthier and calmer. We all have days where we feel like the world is getting us down. But here's the thing - you're not alone. From helping us see what strong really looks like, to what to do when you have no energy for self-care; Jayne Hardy shows us that even on our most difficult days, a little kindness can go a very long way.
De: Jayne Hardy
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Dear Stranger, You Deserve to Be Loved
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Everything we do in life is for love. Why? I don't know. Maybe love is what keeps us going. Maybe love is the means and ends to this life. Maybe the universe runs on love. Whatever may be the reason, love is what we all demand, and love is what we all want. But very often, we find ourselves without love. Some of us have lost love, some of us have lost ourselves in love and some of us don't believe in love. And for so many of us, it's worse because we don't feel we deserve to be loved. Right? I know how it feels to feel unloved for many years.
De: Ashish Bagrecha
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Make Your Move
- The New Science of Dating and Why Women Are in Charge
- De: Jon Birger
- Narrado por: Michael Butler Murray
- Duración: 5 h y 18 m
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Jon Birger offers women bold new strategies for finding the one. Backed by research showing that women can win at romance by making the first move with the men of their choice, Birger explains why: It's better to choose than to be chosen; the "play hard to get" method is not only outdated but grounded in bad science; the first move does not have to be a big move; it's time to log off of dating apps and date men you actually know; the workplace can be a terrific place to meet a long-term romantic partner...and more.
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A Good Read For The Dating Fatigued
- De Andrew J Starr en 02-04-21
De: Jon Birger
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This Is Your Brain on Birth Control
- How the Pill Changes Everything
- De: Sarah Hill
- Narrado por: Nan McNamara
- Duración: 8 h y 57 m
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This paradigm-shattering book provides an even-handed, science-based understanding of who women are, both on and off the pill. It will change the way that women think about their hormones and how they view themselves. It also serves as a rallying cry for women to demand more information from science about how their bodies and brains work and to advocate for better research. This book will help women make more informed decisions about their health, whether they're on the pill or off of it.
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Alright.
- De brenda en 01-18-20
De: Sarah Hill
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How to Be an Overnight Success
- De: Maria Hatzistefanis
- Narrado por: Maria Hatzistefanis - introduction, Janice Vee
- Duración: 4 h y 54 m
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Random House presents the audiobook edition of How to Be an Overnight Success by Maria Hatzistefanis. 'You are not born an entrepreneur. It's a skill that you learn along the way.' When the skincare company Rodial launched its cult 'snake' serum, the press quickly called the business an 'overnight success'. However, Rodial's founder, Maria Hatzistefanis, had been toiling for 18 years, building the company from scratch in her bedroom. Now, the beauty boss sets out to demonstrate in this very accessible book that its success stemmed from sheer hard work, tireless efforts and a lot of patience.
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I kept waiting for there to be useful information
- De WedLocks | Nine Morrison en 12-17-18
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Overcoming Perfectionism Anxiety and Indecision
- A Brilliant but Imperfect Guide to Releasing Your Inner Achiever
- De: Cross Border Books
- Narrado por: Dan Hamel
- Duración: 3 h y 26 m
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Overcoming Perfection, Anxiety, and Indecision is a comprehensive, easy-to-understand guide that doesn’t just help you accept that failures pave the way to the greatest successes, but teaches you how to gain the most from every misstep!
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Small Wins Every Day
- 100 Powerful Ways to Transform Your Life and Health
- De: Luke Coutinho
- Narrado por: Rayan Madan
- Duración: 3 h y 2 m
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Nothing is as daunting as a goal. Many of us struggle with achieving them—be it in life, health, love and career. When you set unrealistic goals and keep failing, your intelligently designed brain tries to protect you from the pain and negative emotions that come with failure. In Small Wins Every Day, Luke Coutinho presents a simple premise with powerful results, teaching you to rewire your brain for success. The hack? Break down your goals into small wins that you can achieve every day. Stacked over time, these contribute to significant lifestyle changes, good health and happiness.
De: Luke Coutinho
Lo que los oyentes dicen sobre The Perfectionist's Guide to Losing Control
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- Loli Olivera
- 11-05-23
Loved it!
As a perfectionist I really like the approach of accepting your perfectionism and working around it so it’s beneficial for you. I always hear comments about how you shouldn’t aim for perfection but those kind of comments don’t help because they feel like going against your essence. Katherine’s approach is amazing. Really enjoyed it!
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- Samantha J.
- 12-11-23
Best book I’ve read in a decade
Bookmark after bookmark. A staple read for being a better human. Especially if you’re a perfectionist! 🎯
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- Brandy M.
- 06-20-24
Fantastic book
This was a fabulous book that will benefit so many women. I love her light hearted and funny approach.
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- Jammie Peterson
- 05-25-23
Beautiful
I loved every min of it. I’m a therapist myself and sometimes hearing these words repeated back to me is a reminder to don’t forget about yourself in all the chaos. It helped me map my understanding of my own life in small bits. I would highly recommend this book. I have gifted the book to a few people so far.
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- Simon Brooks
- 03-11-24
Almost perfect, except the exclusionist gender generalizations.
About 90% relatable to any sex, 5% specific to women, & 5% sweeping generalizations about how this couldn’t apply to men, who are “always/never” X & then strawmanning that all males are like some highly lauded media personalities is highly insulting & triggering. I appreciated the inclusive introduction to women & anyone who identified as a woman. As a “beta” male who grew up in a household of women, & having a perfectionist mother, wife & daughter I can appreciate that they have a much harder time of it.
Ex. That dads can’t feel the equivalent of mom guilt, or any of the quandaries of trying to be it all, etc. is pure bunk. The rhythm of enjoying the book & garnering all one can to self-understand was frequently disrupted by a tirade of exclusionist & inaccurate stereotyping. It took a moment after each incident to pause, recenter, & recall she was only speaking from her experience, rather than objectively, but I get there’s a general perception.
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- Larisa Massey
- 07-26-23
So good!
I’m am SO GRATEFUL for this book! It’s allowed me to reflect on so many personality quirks as well as some of my unseen/unconscious tendencies. It’s just so real and relatable for me; not to mention it’s beautifully written. Highly recommend!
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- Kristin Johnson
- 10-27-24
So good. So helpful.
I loved it so much I had to buy the hard copy half way through to be able to highlight and underline. I plan to listen again through to make sure I didn’t kids anything and I probably will many times after that. So. Good.
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- Anonymous User
- 05-11-23
Fantastic
This book is Incredible. So many parts of it drove me to reflect and learn about myself and how I may be perceived by others, intentionally or otherwise.
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- S. Van Der Sluys
- 08-17-23
Exactly what I needed.
I’ve been a perfectionist my whole life and this is the first book that I felt really understood me and gave me permission to not have to change who I am. A must read.
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- XYZ
- 10-26-23
Best book ever
First, this book is for anyone with perfectionist tendencies, not just women. I’m a guy and I’m on my 4th listen to this book. I’ve read a LOT of self help type books and this , for me, finally identified my issues. Im a perfectionist. Which involves a lot of other things of course.
This is far and away the most helpful book I’ve EVER listened to from any genre. The author is brilliant and has the most wonderful , soothing, professional, kind voice. Seriously. I can’t believe the revelation in my life. Thank God for Katherine.
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