The Good Daughter Syndrome

Help for Empathic Daughters of Narcissistic, Borderline, or Difficult Mothers Trapped in the Role of the Good Daughter

De: Katherine K Fabrizio

Narrado por: Colleen Weaver

You love your mother, but she drives you crazy.

She controls, criticizes, and butts into your life constantly. Then when you try and set boundaries, the pushback and resulting guilt are so bad you tell yourself...it's just not worth it.

Is your mother narcissistic, borderline, or just plain difficult?

Are you empathetic, sensitive, and kind?

Do you feel stuck in your relationship with Mom:

• trying to please her but never feeling good enough?
• feel responsible for Mom's emotional well-being?
• struggle to set boundaries without feeling guilty or getting so much pushback you end up feeling like…it's just not worth it?

If so, chances are you have fallen into one or all of the hidden psychological traps that constitute the Good Daughter Syndrome.

I help daughters trapped in the Good Daughter role escape and break the cycle of intergenerational wounding so that they can:

• Stand up to Mom with confidence.
• Stop feeling responsible for their mother's happiness.
• Set healthy boundaries that stick.
• Banish the negative internalized mother and conquer self-doubt.
• Say "no" to Mom without letting guilt stop them.

Following my step-by-step system, you can escape this destructive dynamic, finally feel good enough, stand up to your mother without guilt, and replace self-doubt with self-trust and shame with self-acceptance.

Then, whether or not your mother ever changes, you can break free of this disempowering dynamic and claim a life that is truly your own.

©2020 Katherine Fabrizio (P)2023 Makers Mark Press

Excellent coping skills and compassion for both mother and daughter

This is how we honor our mothers and empower ourselves. Very informative and compassionate. Lessons that heal the body mind and spirit

Spot on

I can't believe how spot on most of this was. I have dealt with so much of this in my own relationship with my mother. I do wish there had been more stories because they are so helpful. The reader though. The reader's voice was really pleasant, but her cadence and placement of emphasis was frequently distracting.

Valuable listen if you can tolerate the narrator

I have no idea what this narrative was trying to do with her voice - I guess adding flair? But her intonation is so consistently inappropriate, it's difficult to stay focused on the content. Very disappointing. I'm surprised she was employed and paid for this work.

Decent primer if your mom is still in your life

So, this book is great for beginners who have never studied childhood trauma or psychology of any kind. She walks you through the ultra basics and explains why difficult mothers are the way they are. She introduces you to personality disorders and generational trauma. But she doesn't really offer much for people who already know that stuff and need help managing internalized "mom" after she's no longer in your life, be it because you went no contact or she's passed away. This book is really only for people who still have to deal with mom and can't figure out how to break free to live their own lives.

So, if you're looking for a primer on the subject, this book is for you. If you're looking for something more, I'm sad to say this won't help much. It's only a guide through the very initial steps of realizing there's an issue and mentally preparing to break free. It's primarily geared towards how to deal with mom. How to talk to mom. How to set boundaries with mom. How mom is likely to react. How to carve time for yourself away from mom. How to stand your ground with mom and take up space. How to stop taking responsibility for mom's emotions while she's actively in the process of guilting you. Etc. etc.

If mom is in the picture, this book provides some insight into how to manage your relationship with her. However, if she's not, this book is going to feel like a lot of useless advice because you can't follow the steps without a mom to enact them on. You're going to get frustrated. It's more focused on getting free of mom than dealing with the aftermath.

Another issue I had with this book is that the author is a Good Daughter who spends too much time trying to manage the emotions of the reader and trying to convince them to get on board with her process, even though they were already there when they purchased the book. Because why else would they buy it? There's a lot of "Now, I know you probably have really big feelings right now, and I know you probably want to throw this book across the room, but trust me, this will all be worth it in the end, so stick with me as I explain more about why you should do it," and, "now that you know why it happened, you're ready to move on! So let me tell you more about why it happened so I can convince you again of why you're ready to move on!" By the end of Chapter 10, she's still trying to manage the emotions of the reader and trying to convince them to get on board with the process. It's incredibly frustrating. Like, yes, ok, got it, let's get to the point already!

And when you do finally get to those 4 chapters that outline the process of breaking free, every chapter gives the same advice with the same exact 'rip up the contract' sacred ritual meditation word for word. Not just a similar meditation, the exact same one. It basically boils down to: set boundaries and stick to them, tolerate feeling guilty so you won't feel Guilty, stand your ground and take up space, decide to stop taking responsibility for mom's emotions (with little followup beyond "decide to stop doing it",) stand barefoot outside and get physically grounded to get emotionally grounded, what to say to mom during the process, practice saying what you want, and look for the fear driving your mother's actions that try to control you so you don't take it so seriously which basically boils down to "psychoanalyze mom in the moment" combined with "stop taking her so seriously." Easy to say, not so easy to do. And there's very little internal work beyond mentally ripping up the contract to help you develop a healthier emotional life, yourself, so, aside from deciding to be different, there's little guidance on how to actually think, feel, and live differently once you've dealt with mom and broken free, or once mom has passed away and left you to your own devices, drifting aimlessly through the world without any idea of how to be your own person. That stuff isn't in here.

This isn't an instruction manual on how to transcend Good Daughterhood. It's an introductory lesson into the definitions, origins, and backstory of what being a Good Daughter is and where it comes from. That's a majority of the book. You'll find out why you are the way you are, and why she is the way she is, but you're not going to discover radical change for yourself in its pages. Everything else you do in this book is still tightly tied to mom. It still requires mom's presence. So if that's you, it's worth a read. If not, consider a pass.