The Grass Is Always Greener over the Septic Tank
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The Grass Is Always Greener over the Septic Tank
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Narrated by:
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Barbara Rosenblat
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By:
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Erma Bombeck
About this listen
In The Grass Is Always Greener over the Septic Tank, Bombeck rides the train to the suburbs. In lands like the Suburbian Gems subdivision, settlers from the city brave endless cul-de-sacs and overly helpful insurance salesmen. Picture windows bring new meaning to the term "neighborly". A poorly timed trip to the restroom results in a promotion to Girl Scout Cookie Captain. And brave parents fight epic battles to get sex out of the schools and back into the gutters.
With Barbara Rosenblat's perfect comic timing, the author of If Life Is a Bowl of Cherries - What Am I Doing in the Pits? and A Marriage Made in Heaven, or Too Tired for an Affair adds to her reputation as America's favorite funny lady.
©1995 Erma Bombeck (P)2007 Recorded BooksListeners also enjoyed...
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In this award-winning Audible Studios production, Trevor Noah tells his wild coming-of-age tale during the twilight of apartheid in South Africa. It’s a story that begins with his mother throwing him from a moving van to save him from a potentially fatal dispute with gangsters, then follows the budding comedian’s path to self-discovery through episodes both poignant and comical.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Great book and perfect narration
- By MarilynArms on 12-15-16
By: Trevor Noah
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Going Infinite
- The Rise and Fall of a New Tycoon
- By: Michael Lewis
- Narrated by: Michael Lewis
- Length: 9 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 2,053
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,844
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,842
When Michael Lewis first met him, Sam Bankman-Fried was the world’s youngest billionaire and crypto’s Gatsby. CEOs, celebrities, and leaders of small countries all vied for his time and cash after he catapulted, practically overnight, onto the Forbes billionaire list. Who was this rumpled guy in cargo shorts and limp white socks, whose eyes twitched across Zoom meetings as he played video games on the side?
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1 out of 5 stars
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really expected more rigor from Michael Lewis
- By Wowhello on 10-04-23
By: Michael Lewis
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The Wonder of Stevie
- By: Wesley Morris
- Narrated by: Wesley Morris, Michelle Obama, Barack Obama, and others
- Length: 6 hrs and 10 mins
- Original Recording
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 628
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 588
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Story5 out of 5 stars 588
The year 1972 saw the beginning of a five-year span in which Stevie Wonder released five groundbreaking, critically acclaimed albums, garnering him more than half a dozen Grammys and more than 10 million albums sold, securing his place as one of the most important American musicians and songwriters in history. For the first time, uncover the untold story of an extraordinary artistic journey that shaped the greatest creative era in popular music history.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Good but not great
- By Anonymous User on 09-14-24
By: Wesley Morris
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Flannery O'Connor and the Scandal of Faith
- By: Jessica Hooten Wilson, The Great Courses
- Narrated by: Jessica Hooten Wilson
- Length: 3 hrs and 5 mins
- Original Recording
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 5
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 5
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Story5 out of 5 stars 5
Across six revealing lectures, Professor Jessica Hooten Wilson will introduce you to one of the 20th century’s most fascinating and divisive writers in Flannery O’Connor and the Scandal of Faith. Beginning with an overview of her brief but remarkable life, Professor Wilson will then take you through an exploration of themes in O’Connor’s work and the hallmarks of her literary style. You’ll get a clearer picture of O’Connor’s historical and geographical context while digging into how her stories can transcend time and place.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Fascinating life cut short
- By KRoss on 11-21-24
By: Jessica Hooten Wilson, and others
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Maybe You Should Talk to Someone
- A Therapist, HER Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed
- By: Lori Gottlieb
- Narrated by: Brittany Pressley
- Length: 14 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 43,428
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 38,252
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 38,115
One day, Lori Gottlieb is a therapist who helps patients in her Los Angeles practice. The next, a crisis causes her world to come crashing down. Enter Wendell, the quirky but seasoned therapist in whose office she suddenly lands. With his balding head, cardigan, and khakis, he seems to have come straight from Therapist Central Casting. Yet he will turn out to be anything but.
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2 out of 5 stars
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It was like a hallmark movie being waterboarded into my ears for 15 hours
- By Amazon Customer on 10-01-19
By: Lori Gottlieb
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The Parole Room
- By: Ben Austen
- Narrated by: Ben Austen
- Length: 4 hrs and 25 mins
- Original Recording
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 229
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 225
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 225
Will Johnnie Veal—convicted of the murder of two police officers in 1970—be granted parole after 50 years in prison? How can he convince the parole board he’s reformed when he insists he’s innocent? What is prison time even supposed to accomplish? These are the questions that propel The Parole Room forward as it builds toward Johnnie’s 20th parole hearing—after 19 rejections.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Enlightening story & a must read
- By Patsy on 10-07-24
By: Ben Austen
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Genghis Khan and the Making of the Modern World
- By: Jack Weatherford
- Narrated by: Jonathan Davis, Jack Weatherford
- Length: 14 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 19,927
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 16,477
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 16,473
The Mongol army led by Genghis Khan subjugated more lands and people in 25 years than the Romans did in 400. In nearly every country the Mongols conquered, they brought an unprecedented rise in cultural communication, expanded trade, and a blossoming of civilization.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Golden Horde/Platinum Listen
- By Cynthia on 12-11-13
By: Jack Weatherford
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The Last Days of Cabrini-Green
- By: Ben Austen, Harrison David Rivers
- Narrated by: Ben Austen, Patina Miller, Harry Lennix, and others
- Length: 3 hrs and 32 mins
- Original Recording
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 23
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 21
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Story5 out of 5 stars 21
In 1992, the deadliest year in Chicago’s history, seven-year-old Dantrell Davis was shot and killed in front of his elementary school inside the public housing complex Cabrini-Green. What happened to Dantrell led to a truce among Chicago’s gangs, but it also ignited a national panic about poverty and violence in America’s cities. Dantrell’s name would soon be used to demolish all of Chicago’s high-rise public housing, displacing tens of thousands of low-income families.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Chicago Housibg
- By Ruby on 11-21-24
By: Ben Austen, and others
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Episodes
- The True Story of Two Friends & One Diagnosis
- By: Mara Altman, Kat Alexander
- Narrated by: Mara Altman, Kat Alexander
- Length: 7 hrs and 5 mins
- Original Recording
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 37
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 34
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 34
In Episodes, lifelong best friends Kat and Mara take listeners on an unfiltered journey through friendship, mental illness, and survival. Kat, a successful professional, is preparing for marriage and motherhood. On her fourth round of IVF, it happened—a frantic call to Mara. Mara comes over to find Kat, her friend of 25 years—the one who'd always been levelheaded, hilarious, and over-the-top thoughtful—trying to jump through a window.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Just listen!
- By AJ on 11-17-24
By: Mara Altman, and others
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Heroes Behind Headlines
- Only the Brave
- By: Ralph Pezzullo
- Narrated by: Ralph Pezzullo
- Length: 6 hrs and 33 mins
- Original Recording
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 25
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 23
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 23
How did DEA agents orchestrate the capture of one of the world’s most wanted weapons dealers? How does an all-female, unarmed group of rangers stop poachers from killing South Africa’s most majestic wild animals? And how did a scrappy crew of soldiers help desperate Afghans escape Kabul during the Taliban’s rapid takeover? Welcome to Heroes Behind Headlines: Only the Brave, where host Ralph Pezzullo takes you on deep dives into extraordinary true stories, told to you by the experts and the brave men and women who lived them.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Great interview format
- By Ronald Gauvin on 11-21-24
By: Ralph Pezzullo
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The Demon Next Door
- By: Bryan Burrough
- Narrated by: Steve White
- Length: 2 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 31,041
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 27,819
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Story4 out of 5 stars 27,711
Best-selling author Bryan Burrough recently made a shocking discovery: The small town of Temple, Texas, where he had grown up, had harbored a dark secret. One of his high school classmates, Danny Corwin, was a vicious serial killer. In this chilling tale, Burrough raises important questions of whether serial killers can be recognized before they kill or rehabilitated after they do. It is also a story of Texas politics and power that led the good citizens of the town of Temple to enable a demon who was their worst nightmare.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Odd narration choice
- By Amanda Fredericks on 03-08-19
By: Bryan Burrough
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Evil Has a Name
- The Untold Story of the Golden State Killer Investigation
- By: Paul Holes, Jim Clemente, Peter McDonnell
- Narrated by: Paul Holes, Jim Clemente
- Length: 6 hrs and 13 mins
- Original Recording
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 21,371
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 19,212
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Story5 out of 5 stars 19,115
For his victims, for their families and for the investigators tasked with finding him, the senselessness and brutality of the Golden State Killer's acts were matched only by the powerlessness they felt at failing to uncover his identity. Then, on April 24, 2018, authorities arrested 72-year-old Joseph James DeAngelo at his home in Citrus Heights, Calif., based on DNA evidence linked to the crimes. Amazingly, it seemed, evil finally had a name. Please note: This work contains descriptions of violent crime and sexual assault and may not be suitable for all listeners.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Audible Raises The Bar On True Crime Genre
- By R. Squyres on 11-16-18
By: Paul Holes, and others
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Dear Cousin: The Stalking of Susan Fensten
- By: Ventureland
- Narrated by: Susan Fensten
- Length: 4 hrs and 24 mins
- Original Recording
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,356
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,330
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,330
Dear Cousin: The Stalking of Susan Fensten is the gripping true story of one woman's quest for long lost family. After the deaths of her sister and estranged father, Susan searches for relatives on an early online genealogy forum. When she meets cousins from her grandfather's other family, they're everything she'd hoped for—until it all goes to hell.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Harrowing Case, Excellent Production
- By C Lopez on 07-12-24
By: Ventureland
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The Autobiography of Malcolm X
- As Told to Alex Haley
- By: Malcolm X, Alex Haley
- Narrated by: Laurence Fishburne
- Length: 16 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 12,435
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 11,061
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Story5 out of 5 stars 11,001
Experience a bold take on this classic autobiography as it’s performed by Oscar-nominated Laurence Fishburne. In this searing classic autobiography, originally published in 1965, Malcolm X, the Muslim leader, firebrand, and Black empowerment activist, tells the extraordinary story of his life and the growth of the Human Rights movement. His fascinating perspective on the lies and limitations of the American dream and the inherent racism in a society that denies its non-White citizens the opportunity to dream, gives extraordinary insight into the most urgent issues of our own time.
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4 out of 5 stars
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it's Nearly perfect
- By Kerry on 09-16-20
By: Malcolm X, and others
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How I Get It Done
- By: Shereen Marisol Meraji
- Narrated by: Shereen Marisol Meraji
- Length: 9 hrs and 53 mins
- Original Recording
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 33
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 31
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 31
In a series of deeply moving and inspiring conversations, host Shereen Marisol Meraji connects with successful women from all walks of life to reveal how they manage their careers and every aspect of their lives. Based on the long-running column from The Cut and New York Magazine.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Relatable, helpful, and beautifully produced.
- By Anonymous User on 09-07-24
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Elvis and Me
- By: Priscilla Beaulieu Presley
- Narrated by: Priscilla Beaulieu Presley
- Length: 7 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 3,211
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 2,900
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 2,893
The inspiration for the major motion picture Priscilla directed by Sofia Coppola, this New York Times best seller reveals the intimate story of Elvis Presley and Priscilla Presley, told by the woman who lived it.
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5 out of 5 stars
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What a story!
- By Pen Name on 08-28-22
What listeners say about The Grass Is Always Greener over the Septic Tank
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Tracy
- 02-24-13
I LOVE THIS!
If you could sum up The Grass Is Always Greener over the Septic Tank in three words, what would they be?
real life situations made hilarous!!
What was one of the most memorable moments of The Grass Is Always Greener over the Septic Tank?
OMG ... there are too many!! Erma Bombeck is the best!!
What about Barbara Rosenblat’s performance did you like?
she was very energetic and read with gusto
Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?
oh goodness yes it made me laugh out loud!!
Any additional comments?
I read " THE GRASS IS ALWAYS GREENER OVER SEPTIC TANK" years ago. It was just as funny if not more so to listen to the audio book!!
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4 people found this helpful
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Overall3 out of 5 stars
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Performance1 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Corbin5
- 01-19-17
Voice is so bad
If you're old enough to remember Erma, you will be SO disappointed in this reading! Ruined it for me. Didn't get past the first chapter.
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2 people found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Researcher
- 01-29-23
very entertaining
laugh out loud funny, even 2nd and 3rd time listening! helps put parenthood into perspective. very good narration.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- SherBear52
- 07-19-24
funny things that are relatable
Foud this book very funny. it's life but told to make ya laugh 😃
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- ssharon Miller
- 02-20-18
wonderful book fantastic as all
wonderful book I think I've read all her books now, wish she had written more but that's the way things go
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance4 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Robert N. Fife Sr.
- 05-30-23
LZFIFE
One of the GOAT’s and will keep me giggling for hours! I can’t wait to go to her next book!
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Mary Joyce phillips
- 10-30-18
Loved it ...
Very entertaining. The narrator is fabulous. Irma Bombeck was awesome. Would recommend this audible to anyone.
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance1 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- Karen J
- 02-20-23
Read the book!
The narrator for this classic Bombeck book is ALL wrong. Bombeck had a dry wit. I wish she had read it herself!
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Toma
- 03-13-23
Loved all of it!
Bombeck’s humor speaks for itself but in this case the narration, in my opinion was brilliant! Not sure why some didn’t enjoy the reading.
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance4 out of 5 stars
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Story3 out of 5 stars
- Teresa
- 10-20-12
Family humor
What made the experience of listening to The Grass Is Always Greener over the Septic Tank the most enjoyable?
I read this book years ago. I really enjoyed listening to it. It is funny to hear about the technology changes in our life's over the years.
Would you be willing to try another book from Erma Bombeck? Why or why not?
I already purchased all of her audiobooks.
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2 people found this helpful