The Compleat Gentleman

The Modern Man's Guide to Chivalry

By: Brad Miner

Narrated by: Christopher Lane

At a time of astonishing confusion about what it means to be a man, Brad Miner has recovered the oldest and best ideal of manhood: the gentleman. Reviving a thousand-year tradition of chivalry, honor, and heroism, The Compleat Gentleman provides the essential model for 21st-century masculinity.

Despite our confusion, real manhood is not complicated. It is an ancient ideal based on service to one's God, country, family, and friends, a simple but arduous ideal worthy of a lifetime of struggle.

Miner's gentleman stands out for his dignity, restraint, and discernment. He rejects the notion that one way of behaving is as good as another. He belongs to an aristocracy of virtue, not of wealth or birth. Proposing neither a club nor a movement, Miner describes a lofty code of manly conduct, which, far from threatening democracy, is necessary for its survival.

Miner traces the concept of manliness from the jousting fields of the 12th century to the decks of the Titanic. The three masculine archetypes that emerge, the warrior, the lover, and the monk, combine in the character of the "compleat gentleman". This modern knight cultivates a martial spirit in defense of the true and the beautiful. He treats the opposite sex with the passionate respect required by courtly love. And he values learning in the pursuit of truth, all with the discretion, decorum, and nonchalance that the Renaissance called sprezzatura.

The Compleat Gentleman is filled with examples from the past and the present of the man our increasingly uncivilized age demands.

©2004 Brad Miner (P)2004 Blackstone Audiobooks

Critic reviews

"What can the word 'gentleman' have to do with 21st-century America? A lot....Miner writes with wit and charm." (Wall Street Journal)
"In erudite and witty prose, Miner explores these three facets of his concept of the gentleman through an engaging survey of knighthood, warfare and courtship....Miner's theories are consistently entertaining." (Publishers Weekly)

Seems too short because it's so good!

I am not a gentleman yet, though growing up I had a respect for classical characters in fiction that were gentlemanly, but I am going to be one after this book. It makes you think about how you live your life, and brought to mind many mistakes I've made, and made sense to me just where I went wrong. I am thirty-six years old and it is never too late to strive to be a gentleman. Sometimes I think the author doesn't explain well enough why someone he disagrees with is wrong. I think he misses some chances to make a point more thought provoking. But on the whole, I am greatly moved by the book. Eleanor of Aquitaine was a surprisingly fresh find for me in it. I was moved by her life, and only mention it now to showcase how the historical matter is worthwhile just for itself in this book. Good job, Mr. Miner!

Good argument (with a single near-fatal flaw)

This book is a joy to read for anyone longing to escape the confines of our decadent culture. The history of gentlemanliness, chivalry, courtship, and honor that comprises the first portion of the book is sound and thorough enough, but the point of this text comes toward the end, where Miner explains what it is to be a gentleman in today?s society. He shows how it is possible and gives examples of modern day gentlemen (largely centered around the military and the heroes of 9/11).

The argument for chivalry stumbles when the author tries to make a case for martial combat. Simply, our age cannot condone martial combat because technology has eliminated the possibility of honorable combat. School shootings and the prospect of nuclear war are proof that we should find a better outlet for physical prowess. Sport is the closest thing I can think of, but it is not mentioned in the book.

The big problem with Miner?s examination is his exaltation of coolness. The way he puts it, cool (sprezzatura) is the ultimate aim of the gentleman. And while a solid case can be made for sprezzatura, coolness means nonchalance and insouciance, and those things do not always lead to refinement and excellence. Indeed, coolness is the primary aim of our culture these days and it leads directly to all the problems that Miner is trying to correct with the compleat gentleman.

It is a fine collection of refreshing ideas and is well worth the read despite its near-fatal flaw. The author is diligent in locating the source of words and ideas and it is worth the read just to know where the word ?romance? came from. Ultimately, the book will probably add some energy to the growing movement toward a more civilized society.

Slightly dated, but worth the listen

Some information or analysis by the author Brad Miner will seem humorously off to people in the know or lived through the early 2000’s.

What the author does get right is a semi-comprehensive view of masculine virtue (an idealized view of how elite men should behave) through history using actual stories or figures to illustrate his point. There’s one about a knight that takes great offense to his underling being insulted that sticks with me. If you watched “Kingsmen” by Matthew Vaughn, you will understand where Brad Miner is coming from: does being a gentlemen depend on birth, upbringing, or an attitude? It can be all three, or one; it’s tough to nail down. I’ve heard others take similar views, Miner’s falls under a somewhat traditional and “refined” viewpoint. The book covers a lot of ground, and even jumping off and on it over a few weeks it never fell into a rut of monotony. There’s too much to read to get bored if you’re genuine about the topic, although he does like referencing the movie “Titanic” a lot.

If you looking for a how-to, this isn’t it. If you want a decently long and multi-faceted examination on what makes “Better Men” what they are, this is for you

History and definition of the gentleman.

If you could sum up The Compleat Gentleman in three words, what would they be?

History. Definition. Guide.

Any additional comments?

The book is a great history and definition of the gentleman for men who are constantly aspiring to grow and improve. My wife and I listened this book and enjoyed and learned from it.

So Toxic its Funny

This book is so backwards and stupid it is affirmatively Jurassic with respect to its ideas about masculinity. But it is actually really funny.
Good luck with the karate Brad Miner. You are my hero!

Not what I expected, either

This is a book that all liberals need to read. It provides an infusion of strength and purpose. The author is certainly not a hippie, but neither is he neo-conservative. He doesn't glorify violence, but he does preach conviction and dedication, and he acknowledges that as long as there are things worth fighting for, you'd better be prepared to fight. There's a big difference between standing up for what's right and just waxing philosophic about "the way things ought to be", and we liberals have largely forgotten that. This book is a much-needed wakeup call.

Being a gentleman is living a tradition

This book is far more than a manners guide. It speaks deeply to the largely Western traditions of honor, valor, consideration for others, and yes, manners and the special care for women. These things are skipped over in schools today, to our diminishment. The world would be a better place if men strove more towards becoming gentlemen.

a need for every man to read/listen

i loved it and it gave me new insight in the role of the man in the society.

The more men read this, the better our future

In a fast changing world dominated by liberal ideas, and a great deal of man hating, it is fantastic to be reminded of what a gentleman really is and had been.

The writing is excellent and narration perfect for the content.

Guilty much?

Not a bad book, but I could do without the author's personal history. He dodged the draft in Vietnam and now, safely past draft age, he thinks all men should undertake military service and feels guilty about dodging the draft. Pure BS. Public service is important and Gandi was much more of a gentleman than many who can pick up a gun. I have nothing agaist the military and it is a good choice for many people, but not all public service is military service.

The history is good acurate and interesting. Good narriation.