Take Your Shirt Off and Cry
A Memoir of Near-Fame Experiences
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Take Your Shirt Off and Cry
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Narrated by:
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Nancy Balbirer
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By:
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Nancy Balbirer
About this listen
Without sparing the embarrassing details, Balbirer chronicles the two decades she spent as a struggling actress in the trenches of show business. From the searing purist tutelage of David Mamet at NYU Drama School ("In show business, women who are lucky enough to find employment are asked to do only two things in every role they ever play: take your shirt off and cry") to her bizarre 1 AM Saturday Night Live audition for Lorne Michaels, Balbirer recounts her sometimes disappointing, sometimes painful, and always bizarre adventures.
Among the stories in Take Your Shirt Off and Cry is "Friendly Fire," which is about Nancy's friendship and eventual falling out with a good friend who went on to become a huge star with a top-rated sitcom. Fame may not have knocked on her door, but it certainly slept on her couch. Take Your Shirt Off and Cry is an utterly engaging, deeply personal, and absurdly comic memoir from a one-of-a-kind talent.
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-
short but good
- By Charlene on 08-06-07
By: Armistead Maupin
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Miss Fortune
- Fresh Perspectives on Having It All from Someone Who Is Not Okay
- By: Lauren Weedman
- Narrated by: Lauren Weedman
- Length: 8 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 44
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 41
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Story4 out of 5 stars 40
Lauren Weedman is not okay. She's living what should be the good life in sunny Los Angeles. After a gig as a correspondent with The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, she scored parts in blockbuster movies, which led to memorable recurring roles on HBO's Hung and Looking. She had a loving husband and an adorable baby boy. In these comedic essays, she turns a piercingly observant, darkly funny lens on the ways her life is actually not okay.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Good
- By Ajules29 on 04-02-16
By: Lauren Weedman
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I Blame Dennis Hopper
- And Other Stories from a Life Lived in and out of the Movies
- By: Illeana Douglas
- Narrated by: Illeana Douglas
- Length: 9 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 209
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 189
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 190
In 1969, Illeana Douglas' parents saw the film Easy Rider and were transformed. Taking Dennis Hopper's words - "That's what it's all about, man" - to heart, they abandoned their comfortable upper-middle-class life and gave Illeana a childhood filled with hippies, goats, free spirits, and free love. Illeana writes, "Since it was all out of my control, I began to think of my life as a movie, with a Dennis Hopper-like father at the center of it." I Blame Dennis Hopper is a rollicking, funny, at times tender exploration of the way movies can change our lives.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Loved Every Moment of this Book!
- By Susan Van Allen on 01-20-16
By: Illeana Douglas
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I'm the One That I Want
- By: Margaret Cho
- Narrated by: Margaret Cho
- Length: 4 hrs and 57 mins
- Abridged
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Overall3.5 out of 5 stars 161
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 76
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Story4 out of 5 stars 77
I'm the One That I Want, based on her show of the same name, is filled with dead-on insights about the experience of being a woman with attitude, of flowing with the highs and lows of life, and of creating one's own identity and acceptance. It is every bit as hilarious, shocking, and irreverent as she is.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Hilarious and deeply engrossing
- By Ling on 04-10-03
By: Margaret Cho
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I Hate Everyone, Except You
- By: Clinton Kelly
- Narrated by: Clinton Kelly
- Length: 4 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 463
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 404
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 402
Clinton Kelly is probably best known for teaching women how to make their butts look smaller. But in I Hate Everyone, Except You, he reveals some heretofore unknown secrets about himself, like that he's a finicky connoisseur of 1980s pornography, a disillusioned critic of New Jersey's premier water parks, and perhaps the world's least enthused high school commencement speaker.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Filthy language overshadowed stories
- By Doris on 04-29-17
By: Clinton Kelly
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Coreyography
- By: Corey Feldman
- Narrated by: Corey Feldman
- Length: 8 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 2,920
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 2,640
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 2,635
In this brave and moving memoir, Corey Feldman is revealing the truth about what his life was like behind the scenes: His is a past that included physical, drug, and sexual abuse, a dysfunctional family from which he was emancipated at age fifteen, three high-profile arrests for drug possession, a nine-month stint in rehab, and a long, slow crawl back to the top of the box office.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Didn't like the Two Coreys, but liked this.
- By ricketsj on 04-29-14
By: Corey Feldman
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The Fame Game
- By: Lauren Conrad
- Narrated by: Jenna Lamia
- Length: 7 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 83
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 69
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Story4 out of 5 stars 69
In Hollywood, fame can be found on every corner and behind any door. You just have to know where to look for it. Nineteen-year-old Madison Parker made a name for herself as best frenemy of nice-girl-next-door Jane Roberts on the hot reality show L.A. Candy. Now Madison's ready for her turn in the spotlight and she'll stop at nothing to get it. Sure, she's the star of a new show, but with backstabbing friends and suspicious family members trying to bring her down, Madison has her work cut out for her.
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5 out of 5 stars
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One of the best narrators I've ever heard!
- By Kindle Customer on 05-09-17
By: Lauren Conrad
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American on Purpose
- The Improbable Adventures of an Unlikely Patriot
- By: Craig Ferguson
- Narrated by: Craig Ferguson
- Length: 7 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 3,269
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 2,509
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 2,501
In American on Purpose, Craig Ferguson delivers a moving and achingly funny memoir of living the American dream as he journeys from the mean streets of Glasgow, Scotland, to the comedic promised land of Hollywood. Along the way, he stumbles through several attempts to make his mark - as a punk rock musician, a construction worker, a bouncer, and, tragically, a modern dancer.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Unabashedly Honest
- By Diane on 12-09-09
By: Craig Ferguson
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God-Shaped Hole
- A Novel
- By: Tiffanie DeBartolo
- Narrated by: Rachael Warren
- Length: 10 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 132
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 124
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Story4 out of 5 stars 123
When Beatrice Trixie Jordan replies to a personal ad, she meets Jacob Grace, a charming, effervescent 30-something free-spirit writer passionately seeking life. He possesses his own turns of phrase and ways of thinking and feeling that dissonantly harmonize with Trixie's off-center vision. As they rollercoaster through the joys and furies of their wrenching romance, they try to come to terms with the hurt brought about by both of their distant fathers who, in different ways, forsook them.
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5 out of 5 stars
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To see a fortune teller or not to see one...
- By Renee on 08-08-18
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A Little Bit Wicked
- Life, Love, and Faith in Stages
- By: Kristin Chenoweth
- Narrated by: Kristin Chenoweth
- Length: 6 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 484
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 312
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 313
In this frank and funny memoir, the Tony Award-winning star of stage and screen shares her journey from small-town Oklahoma to big-time Broadway, vamping on what it takes to stand firmly on a foundation of family and faith while wearing a hot pair of Jimmy Choo platform sling-backs.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Salt of the Earth + Sparkles
- By Holly on 10-01-09
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Skinnydipping
- A Novel
- By: Bethenny Frankel
- Narrated by: January LaVoy
- Length: 11 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 84
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 76
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Story4 out of 5 stars 77
This outrageously entertaining and bawdy roman à clef from reality TV star Bethenny Frankel follows a business-savvy, would-be actress in hot pursuit of the perfect man, the perfect job, and the perfect body. Burning through men like she burns through calories, our sexy, loud-mouthed heroine grasps at any opportunity that might take her to the top. Listeners will jump at the chance to hear about the thrilling highs and cringe-worthy lows of Bethenny’s first shaky steps into adulthood, told here in a fictional format.
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3 out of 5 stars
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An amusing story that may have already been told
- By Kimjnwa on 05-11-12
By: Bethenny Frankel
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True Stories from an Unreliable Eyewitness
- A Feminist Coming of Age
- By: Christine Lahti
- Narrated by: Christine Lahti
- Length: 5 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 33
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 32
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Story4 out of 5 stars 31
For decades, actress and director Christine Lahti has captivated the hearts and minds of her audience through iconic roles in Chicago Hope, Running on Empty, Housekeeping, And Justice for All, Swing Shift, Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, God of Carnage, and The Blacklist. Now, in True Stories from an Unreliable Eyewitness, this acclaimed performer channels her creativity inward to share her own story for the first time.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Christine Lahti, Actress, Activist and A+ Author!
- By L. Cat Schultz on 10-26-18
By: Christine Lahti
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32 Candles
- A Novel
- By: Ernessa T. Carter
- Narrated by: Adenrele Ojo
- Length: 11 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,086
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 916
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 913
Davie—an ugly duckling growing up in small-town Mississippi—is positive her life couldn’t be any worse. She has the meanest mother in the South, possibly the world, and on top of that, she’s pretty sure she’s ugly. Just when she’s resigned herself to her fate, she sees a movie that will change her life— Sixteen Candles. But in her case, life doesn’t imitate art.
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5 out of 5 stars
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2 High Fives - for Monkey Night
- By Nevada on 10-03-12
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The Filthy Truth
- By: Andrew Dice Clay, David Ritz
- Narrated by: Bruce Rubenstein
- Length: 8 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 158
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 137
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 138
In this unapologetic and uncensored autobiography, Andrew Dice Clay is ready to set the record straight. He was the eighties’ answer to Lenny Bruce, with material that stretched the boundaries of decency and good taste to their breaking point, and in turn became the most vilified stand-up comic of all time.
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5 out of 5 stars
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The Diceman Returns!
- By Steven D. Sorrell on 03-26-15
By: Andrew Dice Clay, and others
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I Don’t Care about Your Band
- What I Learned from Indie Rockers, Trust Funders, Pornographers, Felons, Faux-Sensitive Hipsters, and Other Guys I’ve Dated
- By: Julie Klausner
- Narrated by: Julie Klausner
- Length: 6 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 339
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 307
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Story4 out of 5 stars 309
In the tradition of Cynthia Heimel and Chelsea Handler, and with the boisterous iconoclasm of Amy Sedaris, Julie Klausner's candid and funny debut I Don't Care about Your Band sheds light on the humiliations we endure to find love - and the lessons that can be culled from the wreckage. I Don't Care about Your Band posits that lately the worst guys to date are the ones who seem sensitive. It's the jerks in nice guy clothing, not the players in Ed Hardy, who break the hearts of modern girls.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Shopping for Men at the Wrong Mall
- By Pamela Harvey on 01-02-13
By: Julie Klausner
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I Like You Just the Way I Am
- Stories About Me and Some Other People
- By: Jenny Mollen
- Narrated by: Jenny Mollen
- Length: 7 hrs
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 835
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 745
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 737
Jenny Mollen is an actress and writer living in Los Angeles. She is also a wife, married to a famous guy (which is annoying only because he gets free shit and she doesn't). She doesn't want much from life. Just to be loved - by everybody: her parents, her dogs, her ex-boyfriends, her ex-boyfriends' dogs, her husband, her husband's ex-girlfriends, her husband's ex-girlfriend's new boyfriends, etc.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Hmm...Why am I listening to a bio of Jenny Mollen?
- By Elisabeth W. on 09-16-15
By: Jenny Mollen
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Wildflower
- By: Drew Barrymore
- Narrated by: Drew Barrymore
- Length: 7 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 5,700
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 5,101
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 5,071
Wildflower is a portrait of Drew's life in stories as she looks back on the adventures, challenges, and incredible experiences of her earlier years. It includes tales of living on her own at 14 (and how laundry may have saved her life), getting stuck in a gas station overhang on a cross-country road trip, saying good-bye to her father in a way only he could have understood, and many more adventures and lessons that have led her to the successful, happy, and healthy place she is today.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Hold the shrieking !
- By Dawne on 11-27-15
By: Drew Barrymore
What listeners say about Take Your Shirt Off and Cry
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall2 out of 5 stars
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Performance2 out of 5 stars
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Story2 out of 5 stars
- Amazon Customer
- 10-18-13
Over dramatic!
What would have made Take Your Shirt Off and Cry better?
Writing and performance were irritating. Had to abandon it.
What do you think your next listen will be?
Will try a biz book.
What didn’t you like about Nancy Balbirer’s performance?
Too dramatic.
You didn’t love this book... but did it have any redeeming qualities?
Hmm, can't think of any yet.
Any additional comments?
Waste of a credit.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- L. M. Bass
- 07-13-23
Loved it
There are plenty of books out there about famous, successful people in show business. I found this book, about a woman in the entertainment trenches, who was successful in her own way, but never reaching the top, extremely interesting. I definitely recommend this book as you will take a ride alongside Nancy as she experiences what it’s like to try to make it in a very tough business.
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