I Hate Everyone, Except You
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I Hate Everyone, Except You
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Narrated by:
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Clinton Kelly
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By:
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Clinton Kelly
About this listen
Clinton Kelly is probably best known for teaching women how to make their butts look smaller. But in I Hate Everyone, Except You, he reveals some heretofore unknown secrets about himself, like that he's a finicky connoisseur of 1980s pornography, a disillusioned critic of New Jersey's premier water parks, and perhaps the world's least enthused high school commencement speaker. Whether he's throwing his baby sister in the air to jump-start her cheerleading career or heroically rescuing his best friend from death by mud bath, Clinton leaps life's social hurdles with aplomb. With his signature wit, he shares his unique ability to navigate the stickiest of situations, like deciding whether it's acceptable to eat chicken wings with a fork on live television (spoiler: it's not). Clinton delves into all these topics - and many more - in this thoroughly unabashedly frank and uproarious collection.
©2017 Clinton Kelly (P)2017 TantorListeners also enjoyed...
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Bitter Is the New Black
- Confessions of a Condescending, Egomaniacal, Self-Centered Smartass, Or, Why You Should Never Carry A Prada Bag to the Unemployment Office
- By: Jen Lancaster
- Narrated by: Jamie Heinlein
- Length: 10 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 635
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 436
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Story4 out of 5 stars 441
Jen Lancaster was living the sweet life-until real life kicked her to the curb. She had the perfect man, the perfect job-hell, she had the perfect life - and there was no reason to think it wouldn't last. Or maybe there was, but Jen Lancaster was too busy being manicured, pedicured, highlighted, and generally adored to notice.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Intolerable
- By Betty on 09-12-09
By: Jen Lancaster
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You're Better than Me
- A Memoir
- By: Bonnie McFarlane
- Narrated by: Bonnie McFarlane, Alexander Cendese
- Length: 7 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 295
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 271
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 268
In the spirit of Mindy Kaling, Kelly Oxford, and Sarah Silverman, a compulsively listenable and outrageously funny memoir of growing up as a fish out of water, finding your voice, and embracing your inner crazy person from popular actress, writer, and comedian Bonnie McFarlane.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Sandy!!! She wrote a book...it's crazy, a book!!!
- By Jonathan Placek on 03-02-16
By: Bonnie McFarlane
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Stories I'd Tell in Bars
- By: Jen Lancaster
- Narrated by: Jen Lancaster, John Fletcher
- Length: 8 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 365
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 325
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Story4 out of 5 stars 322
Unfiltered. Unapologetic. Older, but not wiser, Lancaster goes back to basics in this hilarious essay collection about everything from taking community policing classes to accidentally getting high with her waiter after a fancy dinner. These are the tales she'd tell if she met you in a bar... if she weren't too lazy to put on pants and go to a bar. Offering advice ranging from how to remain happily married to a man who refuses to blow his damn nose already to not creating An Incident at the cheese counter during an attempt at Whole30, she's you, only louder.
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2 out of 5 stars
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self absorbed
- By D D H on 06-15-19
By: Jen Lancaster
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Single State of Mind
- By: Andi Dorfman
- Narrated by: Andi Dorfman
- Length: 8 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 653
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 575
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 573
Andi Dorfman, breakout star of ABC's The Bachelorette and New York Times best-selling author of It's Not Okay, returns with this new collection of her adventures as a still-single gal surviving and thriving in New York City.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Shallow
- By c63989 on 01-10-18
By: Andi Dorfman
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Miss Fortune
- Fresh Perspectives on Having It All from Someone Who Is Not Okay
- By: Lauren Weedman
- Narrated by: Lauren Weedman
- Length: 8 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 44
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 41
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Story4 out of 5 stars 40
Lauren Weedman is not okay. She's living what should be the good life in sunny Los Angeles. After a gig as a correspondent with The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, she scored parts in blockbuster movies, which led to memorable recurring roles on HBO's Hung and Looking. She had a loving husband and an adorable baby boy. In these comedic essays, she turns a piercingly observant, darkly funny lens on the ways her life is actually not okay.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Good
- By Ajules29 on 04-02-16
By: Lauren Weedman
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Domestic Violets
- A Novel
- By: Matthew Norman
- Narrated by: Todd McLaren
- Length: 11 hrs
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 222
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 196
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 193
Tom Violet always thought that by the time he turned 35, he’d have everything going for him. Fame. Fortune. A beautiful wife. A satisfying career as a successful novelist. A happy dog to greet him at the end of the day. The reality, though, is far different. He’s got a wife, but their problems are bigger than he can even imagine. And he’s written a novel, but the manuscript he’s slaved over for years is currently hidden in his desk drawer while his father, an actual famous writer, just won the Pulitzer Prize for Fiction. His career, such that it is, involves mind-numbing corporate buzzwords....
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5 out of 5 stars
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What a rollicking ride!
- By Pamela Harvey on 08-13-11
By: Matthew Norman
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30 Before 30
- How I Made a Mess of 20s, and You Can Too
- By: Marina Shifrin
- Narrated by: Marina Shifrin
- Length: 6 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 36
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 32
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 33
Something was nagging Marina Shifrin. As a freshly minted adult with student loan payments and a “real” job she hated that paid her enough to get by if she also worked two other jobs, something needed to change. Marina and her friend each made lists of 30 things they’d do before the age of 30. The first thing on Marina’s list was, “Quit My Shitty Job”. So she did, and just like that the List powered her through her twenties. Told with humor and heart, 30 Before 30 will entertain, motivate, and challenge listeners to get out of their comfort zones and live their best lives.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Inspiring read
- By Chris Gledhill on 12-18-18
By: Marina Shifrin
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Bright Lights, Big City
- By: Jay McInerney
- Narrated by: Daniel Passer
- Length: 5 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 341
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 280
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Story4 out of 5 stars 283
The tragicomedy of a young man in New York City, a writer, never named, who works as a fact-checker for a prestigious magazine. He struggles with the reality of his mother's death, alienation, and the seductive pull of drugs and a vibrant nightlife.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Curiously, mundanely real
- By Amber on 01-07-12
By: Jay McInerney
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32 Candles
- A Novel
- By: Ernessa T. Carter
- Narrated by: Adenrele Ojo
- Length: 11 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,086
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 916
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 913
Davie—an ugly duckling growing up in small-town Mississippi—is positive her life couldn’t be any worse. She has the meanest mother in the South, possibly the world, and on top of that, she’s pretty sure she’s ugly. Just when she’s resigned herself to her fate, she sees a movie that will change her life— Sixteen Candles. But in her case, life doesn’t imitate art.
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5 out of 5 stars
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2 High Fives - for Monkey Night
- By Nevada on 10-03-12
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Skinnydipping
- A Novel
- By: Bethenny Frankel
- Narrated by: January LaVoy
- Length: 11 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 84
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 76
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Story4 out of 5 stars 77
This outrageously entertaining and bawdy roman à clef from reality TV star Bethenny Frankel follows a business-savvy, would-be actress in hot pursuit of the perfect man, the perfect job, and the perfect body. Burning through men like she burns through calories, our sexy, loud-mouthed heroine grasps at any opportunity that might take her to the top. Listeners will jump at the chance to hear about the thrilling highs and cringe-worthy lows of Bethenny’s first shaky steps into adulthood, told here in a fictional format.
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3 out of 5 stars
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An amusing story that may have already been told
- By Kimjnwa on 05-11-12
By: Bethenny Frankel
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White Girl Problems
- By: Babe Walker
- Narrated by: Tavia Gilbert
- Length: 6 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 343
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 306
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Story4 out of 5 stars 311
Babe Walker, center of the universe, is a painstakingly manicured white girl with an expensive smoothie habit, a proclivity for Louboutins, a mysterious mother she's never met, and approximately 50 bajillion Twitter followers. But her "problems" have landed her in shopping rehab - that's what happens when you spend $246,893.50 in one afternoon at Barneys. Now she's decided to write her memoir, revealing the gut-wrenching hurdles she's had to overcome in order to be perfect in every way, every day.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Hysterical
- By Kimberlykate on 02-01-13
By: Babe Walker
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How to Be a Grown-Up
- By: Emma McLaughlin, Nicola Kraus
- Narrated by: Tara Sands
- Length: 7 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 123
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 105
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Story4 out of 5 stars 105
Rory McGovern is entering the prime of her life when her husband loses his dream job and announces he feels like "taking a break". Rory was already spread thin and now, without warning, she is single-parenting two kids, juggling their science projects, flu season, and pajama days, while coming to terms with her disintegrating marriage. Without Blake, her only hope is to accept a full-time position working for two full-time 20-somethings.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Performance
- By Jill on 02-10-16
By: Emma McLaughlin, and others
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I Am Not Myself These Days
- A Memoir
- By: Josh Kilmer-Purcell
- Narrated by: Johnny Heller
- Length: 6 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 161
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 144
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 144
I Am Not Myself These Days follows a glittering journey through Manhattan's dark underbelly---a shocking and surreal world where alter egos reign and subsist (barely) on dark wit and chemicals...a tragic romantic comedy where one begins by rooting for the survival of the relationship and ends by hoping someone simply survives.
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3 out of 5 stars
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depressing
- By Barry Morrison on 08-02-16
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Dear Girls Above Me
- Inspired by a True Story
- By: Charles McDowell
- Narrated by: Kirby Heyborne
- Length: 8 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 78
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 75
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Story4 out of 5 stars 74
When Charlie McDowell began sharing his open letters to his noisy upstairs neighbors - two impossibly ditzy female roommates in their mid-twenties - on Twitter, his feed quickly went viral. His followers multiplied and he got the attention of everyone from celebrities to production studios to major media outlets such as Time and Glamour.
Now Dear Girls breaks out of the 140-character limit as Charlie imagines what would happen if he put the wisdom of the girls to the test.
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4 out of 5 stars
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An Enjoyable Listen
- By Elle W on 11-05-13
By: Charles McDowell
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My Inappropriate Life
- Some Material Not Suitable for Small Children, Nuns, or Mature Adults
- By: Heather McDonald
- Narrated by: Heather McDonald
- Length: 5 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 335
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 295
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Story4 out of 5 stars 296
In her hilarious New York Times best seller You’ll Never Blue Ball in This Town Again, Heather McDonald recounted her adventures as an unwilling virgin in Hollywood. Now happily married with three wonderful kids, she shows that life as a grown-up - even a pretend grown-up - has its challenges. Heather’s a working mom with parents who live next door, a sister who keeps asking for one of her still-fertile eggs, and friends who are up to more hijinks than even Heather can handle.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Irritating
- By TrishS on 04-23-13
By: Heather McDonald
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I Don’t Care about Your Band
- What I Learned from Indie Rockers, Trust Funders, Pornographers, Felons, Faux-Sensitive Hipsters, and Other Guys I’ve Dated
- By: Julie Klausner
- Narrated by: Julie Klausner
- Length: 6 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 339
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 307
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Story4 out of 5 stars 309
In the tradition of Cynthia Heimel and Chelsea Handler, and with the boisterous iconoclasm of Amy Sedaris, Julie Klausner's candid and funny debut I Don't Care about Your Band sheds light on the humiliations we endure to find love - and the lessons that can be culled from the wreckage. I Don't Care about Your Band posits that lately the worst guys to date are the ones who seem sensitive. It's the jerks in nice guy clothing, not the players in Ed Hardy, who break the hearts of modern girls.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Shopping for Men at the Wrong Mall
- By Pamela Harvey on 01-02-13
By: Julie Klausner
What listeners say about I Hate Everyone, Except You
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall3 out of 5 stars
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Performance3 out of 5 stars
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Story3 out of 5 stars
- Anne K. Catterson
- 08-30-18
Disappointing
It was very short. It says unabridged in the description, but at the end Clinton says it's abridged. I would not have gotten it if I had known it was abridged. It was amusing as far as it went. I was hoping to read about some of his time at The Chew - but nothing.
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2 people found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Letitia D. Estes
- 08-30-18
Loved it!
Really funny! Loved it! Okay, maybe sometimes a little TMI, but really a fun listen.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- darlette camara
- 01-16-17
Couldn't put it down!
I laughed out loud and that was just the first Chapter, as it continued I couldn't stop laughing! What a fabulous book!
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- NH
- 01-24-17
Freaking Fabulous
Love Mr. Kelly and his stories. It was just the right amount of detail with keeping some scenarios for the reader to imagine. Loved it.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Joe
- 10-27-17
Too funny!!
Crazy and fun! Clinton does a great job and you feel like your sitting with him just listening. S
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Karolina
- 01-18-17
Why are you reading this? Start listening to this book!
Seriously such a great listen. Funny, interesting, witty, at times laugh out loud hilarious. It has it all. If you are looking for a light listen that will entertain the hell out of you, this is it!
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Nichole
- 09-09-17
So funny and entertaining
I laughed out loud so many times listening to this book. What Not to Wear didn't do him justice. Funny and clever I didn't want to stop listening.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- DDHair
- 07-09-18
Laugh out Loud!!
Clinton is so great in his writing and stories!! I laughed out loud many times!! If you read this Clinton, I'm not good at grammar, but you get it anyway!! This is such a good listen, like read...😂🤣 Your the best, and I will so miss you on the Chew!! Please keep in the" TV" land.
🤩👏🤗 ~~~DEBBIE~~
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Samantha A.
- 06-16-18
Truly Relatable
Best book I have read/ listened to to date! The stories are hilarious and entertaining that I couldn't stop listening. It reminds you that celebrities are humans too, and I found myself relating to his stories ad if they happened in my own life. P.s I hope my grammar is correct. 🤞😂
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance4 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- Michelle Battles
- 11-25-23
Entertaining
Light and humorous insight into the life of someone famous making him more relatable. Entertaining listen.
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