Portal Escape from Heartache
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Portal Escape from Heartache
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Narrated by:
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Izaax Doppler
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By:
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Bruce Xavier
About this listen
They say that once you go cat, you never go back. That was not Markus’ experience! But what better way to get over your ex than to get trapped in another realm and be treated as a sperm donning asset?
After going through the portal, Markus wants to get back home. This new realm is too dangerous. Different factions of this medieval world of furry, magic, and monsters are hunting for him and his human companions. An amphibious empire wants them as sex pets, while reptilian creatures want them served raw with a nice beer to wash down the human pancreas bits that get stuck in your teeth.
All humor aside, they need to find the portal back to their world, but they need to survive this savage city of Reptos and treacherous Darkphibian swamp first.
©2022 Bruce Xavier (P)2022 Bruce XavierListeners also enjoyed...
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 4,735
When Gunnar Long is transported into the first fully-immersive virtual MMORPG, he finds himself in a new world filled with magic, mystery, and adventure. No more 9-to-5 job. No more studio apartment. No more reality TV. Finally, he's in a place where he can call home, a place with people he can call friends. But as more people want to trade their real world lives to get inside Eden's Gate, the government of the outside world wants the "game" shut down at all costs.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Good start
- By Dawn on 04-15-17
By: Edward Brody
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Caverns and Creatures: Volume I (Books 1-4)
- By: Robert Bevan
- Narrated by: Jonathan Sleep
- Length: 32 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,887
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,682
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,674
Swords. Sorcery. Dick Jokes. Truly do the gods smile upon you, dear listener, for the first four books in the hilarious Caverns and Creatures series are now available in one audiobook set. Join Tim, Dave, Julian, and Cooper as they are thrown into a hostile fantasy world filled with magic and monsters, and ruled over by a cruel and sadistic game master who taunts and harasses them while he sits back and eats their fried chicken.
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5 out of 5 stars
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A great listen, but don't listen while in public!
- By Jonathan on 06-26-19
By: Robert Bevan
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The Unleashing
- Call of Crows, Book 1
- By: Shelly Laurenston
- Narrated by: Johanna Parker
- Length: 11 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 2,398
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 2,224
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 2,210
Kera Watson never expected to face death behind a Los Angeles coffee shop. Not after surviving two tours lugging an M16 around the Middle East. If it wasn't for her hot Viking customer showing up too late to help, nobody would even have seen her die. In uncountable years of service to the Allfather Odin, Ludvig "Vig" Rundstrom has never seen anyone kick ass with quite as much style as Kera.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Too Violent for this Reader
- By Aryn on 04-11-15
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Forever Fantasy Online
- Forever Fantasy Online, Book 1
- By: Rachel Aaron, Travis Bach
- Narrated by: Josh Hurley
- Length: 19 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 957
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 869
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 870
In the real world, twenty-one-year-old library sciences student Tina Anderson is invisible and under-appreciated, but in the VR-game Forever Fantasy Online she's Roxxy—the respected leader and main tank of a top-tier raiding guild. Her brother, James Anderson, has a similar problem. IRL he’s a college drop-out struggling under debt, but in FFO he's famous—an explorer known all over the world for doing every quest and collecting the rarest items.
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1 out of 5 stars
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The cover art is great....
- By Johnny Jeppesen on 08-18-18
By: Rachel Aaron, and others
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The Bitches of Everafter
- The Everafter Series, Book 1
- By: Barbra Annino
- Narrated by: Erin Fossa
- Length: 7 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 303
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 276
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Story4 out of 5 stars 278
These are not the mild-mannered maidens of your childhood. These are fallen princesses and fierce women with no recollection of who they are, where they came from, or how they arrived in a mysterious town called Everafter. All they know is that they've been sentenced to a stretch in a half-way house by a malicious judge with an ax to grind. They've been stripped of their freedom, their kingdoms, and their true loves. Now, they have nothing left to lose.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Good Idea, Bad execution
- By A.J. Amendolara on 04-26-15
By: Barbra Annino
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The Archemi Online Chronicles Boxset: Books 1, 2 & 3
- A LitRPG Epic Fantasy Series (The Archemi Online Chronicles)
- By: James Osiris Baldwin
- Narrated by: Justin Thomas James, Jeff Hays, Laurie Catherine Winkel, and others
- Length: 45 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 396
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 353
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 353
Before being conscripted to fight in the Total War, Private Hector Park had a shattered family, a collection of old video games, and a promising career as a motorcycle stuntman. Now, he is dying from a virus threatening humankind with extinction. He has three days to live. When Hector’s brother contacts him after years of hostile silence, Hector goes to try and make peace. But his brother offers him something even better: the chance to cheat death by joining him in Archemi, a full-immersion fantasy VR-RPG video game.
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4 out of 5 stars
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fun narration & characters buuut...
- By ERIC ESTES on 01-29-24
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Forbidden Forest
- By: Tenaya Jayne
- Narrated by: Khristine Hvam
- Length: 8 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 771
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 707
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 709
Born in shame. Cast from society. Shape-shifter/elf hybrid Forest must fight for any respect she can get. Targeted in her youth by a vampire noble who placed an illegal slave mark on her, she is forced to obey him no matter what. Slipping the grip of her master and abandoning the prejudice of Regia, her native world, Forest takes a job on Earth, guarding the portal, using her skills as a warrior to enforce Regia's laws. Now, called home for a black ops mission, Forest must put aside her own prejudice to transport the vampire prince, Syrus, through enemy territory in a time of war.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Eye roll-inducing YA fluff
- By M. Williams on 09-05-17
By: Tenaya Jayne
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Royal Bastards
- By: Andrew Shvarts
- Narrated by: Brittany Pressley
- Length: 10 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 98
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 93
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Story4 out of 5 stars 94
Being a bastard blows. Tilla would know. Her father, Lord Kent of the Western Province, loved her as a child but cast her aside as soon as he had trueborn children. At 16 Tilla spends her days exploring long-forgotten tunnels beneath the castle with her stablehand half brother, Jax, and her nights drinking with the servants, passing out on Jax's floor while her castle bedroom collects dust. Tilla secretly longs to sit by her father's side, enjoying feasts with the rest of the family.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Reading is not the same as the physical copy
- By Annelle Powell on 07-09-18
By: Andrew Shvarts
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Dark and Stormy Knights
- By: Ilona Andrews, Jim Butcher, Shannon K Butcher, and others
- Narrated by: Renee Raudman, Joe Barrett, Marc Vietor, and others
- Length: 10 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 1,225
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 1,019
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Story4 out of 5 stars 1,023
It was a dark and stormy knight, and nine dark defenders embarked upon a most perilous quest. They're the ultimate defenders of humanity, modern day knights who do dark deeds for all the right reasons. In this all-star collection, nine of today's hottest paranormal authors bring us thrilling, all-new stories of supernatural knights that are brimming with magic mystery and mayhem.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Bought this for Dresden, loved the rest!
- By Moon River on 06-27-12
By: Ilona Andrews, and others
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Everlasting Bad Boys
- Dragon Kin Series
- By: Shelly Laurenston, Cynthia Eden, Noelle Mack
- Narrated by: Emma Wilder
- Length: 11 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 328
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 306
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 304
They're who you call when you want pleasure that lasts. A collection of three short stories by Shelly Laurenston, Cynthia Eden, and Noelle Mack.
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3 out of 5 stars
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As with all anthologies some are better than other
- By Babsbny reads way too much on 06-12-19
By: Shelly Laurenston, and others
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Succubus Christmas Special
- By: A.J. Markam
- Narrated by: Iggy Toma
- Length: 3 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 440
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 396
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Story4 out of 5 stars 394
In this irreverent take on the holidays, Ian gets a new quest in a virtual reality video game: kill a monstrous villain named Sinter Klaws. (And no, he is NOT a jolly old elf.) Join Ian, his succubus Alaria, and his imp Stig as they journey through a winter wonderland full of killer reindeer, lecherous elves, and the worst mall Santa in the history of the world.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Say my name b**ch! A porny, Xmas, litRPG short
- By 🔥 Phx17 🔥 on 11-07-21
By: A.J. Markam
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The Nate Temple Series: Books 0-3
- The Nate Temple Series Boxset Book 1
- By: Shayne Silvers
- Narrated by: Joel Richards
- Length: 41 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 998
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 904
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 899
My name is Nate Temple, and I’m secretly a wizard. I ride a foul-mouthed unicorn, I drink with Achilles, and I’m pals with the Four Horsemen. I’ve even cow-tipped the Minotaur. I understand the theory of following the rules...I’m just not very good at the application. Because rules were meant to be broken, and St. Louis has a bit of a supernatural infestation these days. Someone should probably be keeping an eye on these things -and probably an eye on me, too. Before I blow up another building...or three.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Basically Batman with lizard brain
- By Ross Hageman on 04-01-20
By: Shayne Silvers
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Queen Heir
- NYC Mecca Series, Book 1
- By: Jaymin Eve, Leia Stone
- Narrated by: Eva Kaminsky
- Length: 8 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 824
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 751
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 749
Arianna is a queen heir and at 20 years old she's now eligible for the crown of wolf shifters. Heirs are trained and groomed so that they're ready should the queen perish during their time of eligibility. Of course, there's little chance of that happening. The Red Queen has stood for a century, and her power is beyond reckoning. Or so Arianna believes, right up until the final tolling of the bells. The queen has fallen. Four heirs will now fight it out for the crown.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Eehhh... it's okay
- By LexiLikesLiterature on 03-03-17
By: Jaymin Eve, and others
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In the Land of Hershel
- The Sunrider Saga, Book 0
- By: Rafael Hohmann
- Narrated by: Ralph Lister
- Length: 51 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 72
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 65
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 65
Five knights tell stories of ancient lands, madness, and terrifying monsters...but no one can top Knight Elric's tale of the Land of Hershel, a monstrous swamp filled with horrifying creatures and an ever-present threat. If you stop moving, you drown. "In the Land of Hershel" is a short story set in the thrilling world of SunRider.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Good but
- By Mistina on 05-09-23
By: Rafael Hohmann
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Rebirth Online
- Rebirth Online, Book 1
- By: Michael James Ploof
- Narrated by: Tristan Morris
- Length: 5 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 258
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 235
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Story4 out of 5 stars 236
Sam Sullivan has spent the last year of his life paralyzed. Unable to afford the state-of-the-art surgery needed to repair his spinal cord, Sam has lost all hope. But when the first fully immersive virtual-reality game goes live, Sam is given a second chance at life. If Sam can rise through the ranks and claim his kingdom, he just might be able to earn enough money to afford the surgery he so badly needs. Sam enters Rebirth Online excited to begin his adventure, but within 15 minutes of spawning in the game, he is robbed, beaten, and left for dead.
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2 out of 5 stars
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to know that genre or to Pander to everyone
- By Cory on 03-04-19
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Frostbite
- An Ivy Granger Psychic Detective Prequel Short Story
- By: E.J. Stevens
- Narrated by: Melanie A. Mason
- Length: 28 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 103
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 97
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 97
When a client claims her house is being haunted, Ivy tries to keep her mind open and her weapons handy. If her psychic gifts and recent cases have taught her anything, it's that you're better off arming yourself for the unexpected.
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5 out of 5 stars
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A haunting release
- By MelHay on 06-21-18
By: E.J. Stevens
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Born in Fire
- Demon Days, Vampire Nights World, Book 1
- By: K.F. Breene
- Narrated by: Nicole Poole
- Length: 10 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 3,718
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 3,340
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 3,319
Supernatural Bounty Hunter isn't the sort of thing you see on LinkedIn. But with a rare type of magic like mine, I don't have many options. Dangerous or not, the job is mine. And it was going fine, until an old-as-sin vampire stole my mark, and with it, my pay day. Knowing I'm poor and desperate, he has offered me a job. I'll have to work by his side to help solve a top secret case. Everyone knows not to trust vampires. Especially a hot elder vampire.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Entertaining New Series
- By HWin on 06-23-17
By: K.F. Breene
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Of Beast and Beauty
- Daughters of Eville, Book 1
- By: Chanda Hahn
- Narrated by: Jesse Vilinsky
- Length: 10 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,315
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,258
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,256
Everyone dreams of marrying a prince - except for me. I am nothing more than a pawn in my adoptive mother's diabolical plot against the seven kingdoms. I was the chosen tool, her sharpened blade that would cut the deepest into the heart of the kingdom of Baist. But like all deadly weapons, my wedding is two-edged sword that could cost me my soul. For I am Rosalie, one of the adopted daughters of Lady Eville, and it is my duty to enter into a loveless and hate-filled marriage with the narcissistic Crown Prince of Baist.
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4 out of 5 stars
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OF BEAST AND BEAUTY
- By 🐺 SCARLET PIMPERNEL 🐺 on 11-08-19
By: Chanda Hahn
What listeners say about Portal Escape from Heartache
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall3 out of 5 stars
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Performance4 out of 5 stars
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Story2 out of 5 stars
- Kindle Customer
- 08-28-22
depressing
the story could have gone a lot of ways. the biggest problem with the book is that the main character goes from one really shitty situation to another. even having those he loves die.
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