Please Let Me Help
"Helpful" Letters to the World's Most Wonderful Brands
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Please Let Me Help
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Narrated by:
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Keith Szarabajka
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By:
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Zack Sternwalker
About this listen
Rebuilding a life by sending absurd letters
Zack is unemployed, overweight, recently divorced, and lives with his mother. Whilst a lesser man would wither away in emo-laden angst, Zack has found inspiration during this difficult stretch of life. A renaissance man, Zack conjures up brilliant ideas (soap on a rope, a Sammy Davis, Jr. biopic starring Tom Cruise, vases of flowers in Port-a-Potties nationwide), offers services (babysitter for Sophia Coppola, compiler and burner for a Beatles Best-of), and attempts to woo unsuspecting ladies with his lifelike sketches of firearms. Please Let Me Help is a collection of letters Zack has written to companies, actors, directors, his local police department, Hulk Hogan, Canada, and scores of other easy targets. Some write back; most don't. Please Let Me Help shows how we can turn our weakest moments into creative opportunities and never give up hope!
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New York Times best-selling author Jen Lancaster has lived a life based on re-invention and self-improvement. From Bitter Is the New Black to The Tao of Martha, she’s managed to document her (and her generation’s) attempts to shape up, grow up, and have it all - sometimes with disastrous results...Mistakes are one thing; regrets are another. After a girls’ weekend in Savannah makes her realize that she is - yikes! - middle-aged (binge watching is so the new binge drinking), Jen decides to make a bucket list and seize the day.
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3 out of 5 stars
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The Smug Is Strong With This One
- By T. Filowitz on 05-24-15
By: Jen Lancaster
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Andy Rooney
- 60 Years of Wisdom and Wit
- By: Andy Rooney
- Narrated by: J. Paul Guimont
- Length: 10 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 29
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 27
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 27
Chairs. Neat people. Ugliness. War. Over six decades of intrepid reporting and elegant essays, Andy Rooney has proven a shrewd cultural analyst. Andy Rooney: 60 Years of Wisdom and Wit brings together the best of more than a half-century of work (including long-out-of-print pieces from his early years) in an unforgettable celebration of one of America’s funniest men. Like Mark Twain, Finley Peter Dunne (Mister Dooley) and Will Rogers, Andy Rooney is a classic chronicler of America, a writer for the ages.
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4 out of 5 stars
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A good style
- By Denise L. Holtz on 11-04-16
By: Andy Rooney
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I Blame Dennis Hopper
- And Other Stories from a Life Lived in and out of the Movies
- By: Illeana Douglas
- Narrated by: Illeana Douglas
- Length: 9 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 209
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 189
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 190
In 1969, Illeana Douglas' parents saw the film Easy Rider and were transformed. Taking Dennis Hopper's words - "That's what it's all about, man" - to heart, they abandoned their comfortable upper-middle-class life and gave Illeana a childhood filled with hippies, goats, free spirits, and free love. Illeana writes, "Since it was all out of my control, I began to think of my life as a movie, with a Dennis Hopper-like father at the center of it." I Blame Dennis Hopper is a rollicking, funny, at times tender exploration of the way movies can change our lives.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Loved Every Moment of this Book!
- By Susan Van Allen on 01-20-16
By: Illeana Douglas
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Hey Mom
- By: Louie Anderson
- Narrated by: Louie Anderson
- Length: 6 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 441
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 402
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 400
Louie Anderson has been channeling his beloved mom in his iconic stand-up comedy for decades - but she passed away before getting to see him reach new heights with his breakout role. Hey Mom is Louie's way of catching Ora Zella Anderson up on everything that has been going on in his life, including his continued struggles with food and family, but also how so much has changed for the better. He also has plenty of laugh-out-loud stories about his incredibly resilient mother and his 10 siblings, as well as observations on the absurdities of life.
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5 out of 5 stars
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I love Louie even more now
- By Candace on 05-02-18
By: Louie Anderson
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There Are Worse Things I Could Do
- By: Adrienne Barbeau
- Narrated by: Adrienne Barbeau
- Length: 7 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 52
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 43
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Story4 out of 5 stars 43
Adrienne Barbeau never set out to be a sex symbol, and she never planned on giving birth to twins when she was 51, but both those stories and a lot more are detailed in this witty, revealing memoir. With humor and fearlessness, she shares her romance with a superstar, her marriage to a famous film director, her marriage to a much younger man and her successful battle with infertility.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Excellent book
- By Jill on 01-05-10
By: Adrienne Barbeau
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Paddle Your Own Canoe
- One Man's Fundamentals for Delicious Living
- By: Nick Offerman
- Narrated by: Nick Offerman
- Length: 10 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 13,169
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 11,934
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 11,855
Growing a perfect moustache, grilling red meat, wooing a woman - who better to deliver this tutelage than the always charming, always manly Nick Offerman, best known as Parks and Recreation's Ron Swanson? Combining his trademark comic voice and very real expertise in woodworking - he runs his own woodshop - Paddle Your Own Canoe features tales from Offerman's childhood in small-town Minooka, Illinois, to his theater days in Chicago, beginnings as a carpenter/actor and the hilarious and magnificent seduction of his now-wife Megan Mullally.
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5 out of 5 stars
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On the need to acknowledge the role luck plays
- By OpenMindedNotCredulous on 11-17-13
By: Nick Offerman
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There's Nothing in This Book That I Meant to Say
- By: Paula Poundstone
- Narrated by: Paula Poundstone
- Length: 5 hrs and 59 mins
- Abridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 577
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 362
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Story4 out of 5 stars 357
What do the lives of Lincoln, Helen Keller, Joan of Arc, and other historical figures have in common with Paula Poundstone? In the hands of this wryly observant and self-deprecating comedian, the answer is outrageously funny and unexpectedly touching. Poundstone compares her crazy life to theirs, as she holds forth on her children, her career, and the time in her life when it appeared she would lose them both.
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5 out of 5 stars
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More!
- By Evelyn on 02-11-07
By: Paula Poundstone
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Laughing Without an Accent
- Adventures of an Iranian American, at Home and Abroad
- By: Firoozeh Dumas
- Narrated by: Firoozeh Dumas
- Length: 5 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 306
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 175
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 177
In the best-selling memoir Funny in Farsi, Firoozeh Dumas recounted her adventures growing up Iranian American in Southern California. Now she again mines her rich Persian heritage in Laughing Without an Accent, sharing stories both tender and humorous on being a citizen of the world, on her well-meaning family, and on amusing cultural conundrums, all told with insights into the universality of the human condition. (Hint: It may have to do with brushing and flossing daily.)
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1 out of 5 stars
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Sigh
- By Sara on 01-29-14
By: Firoozeh Dumas
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All About Me!
- My Remarkable Life in Show Business
- By: Mel Brooks
- Narrated by: Mel Brooks
- Length: 15 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 4,164
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 3,664
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Story5 out of 5 stars 3,650
At 95, the legendary Mel Brooks continues to set the standard for comedy across television, film, and the stage. Now, for the first time, this EGOT (Emmy, Grammy, Oscar, Tony) winner shares his story in his own words.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Wonderful and nostalgic
- By GAT on 12-07-21
By: Mel Brooks
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They Call Me Supermensch
- A Backstage Pass to the Amazing Worlds of Film, Food, and Rock'n'Roll
- By: Shep Gordon
- Narrated by: Shep Gordon
- Length: 9 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 532
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 481
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Story5 out of 5 stars 477
In the course of his legendary career as a manager, an agent, and a producer, Shep Gordon has worked with and befriended some of the biggest names in the entertainment industry, from Alice Cooper to Bette Davis, Raquel Welch to Groucho Marx, Blondie to Jimi Hendrix, Sylvester Stallone to Salvador Dali, Luther Vandross to Teddy Pendergrass. He is also credited with inventing the "celebrity chef" and has worked with Nobu Matsuhisa, Emeril Lagasse, Wolfgang Puck, Roger Vergé, and many others.
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4 out of 5 stars
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It's like he's never seen the words before
- By Joe F. on 11-01-17
By: Shep Gordon
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A Fine Romance
- By: Candice Bergen
- Narrated by: Candice Bergen
- Length: 14 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 559
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 483
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 486
A Fine Romance begins with Bergen's charming first husband, French director Louis Malle, whose huge appetite for life broadened her horizons and whose occasional darkness never diminished their love for each other. But her real romance begins when she discovers overpowering love for her daughter after years of ambivalence about motherhood.
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4 out of 5 stars
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up the speed to 1.5 and Candace sounds way better
- By Susan M. Mitchell on 06-03-15
By: Candice Bergen
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It Takes Two
- Our Story
- By: Jonathan Scott, Drew Scott
- Narrated by: Drew Scott, Jonathan Scott
- Length: 6 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 905
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 818
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 818
It Takes Two: Our Story shares never-before-revealed tales of the Scott brothers' childhood and rise to fame - from starting their first business at seven years old and their years modeling and acting to their first house purchase at the impressive young age of 18. They soon found their true passion in life, combining their natural gifts for entertaining with the skills they learned from buying, renovating, and selling homes.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Not Worth the Time or $2.95
- By Sharlotte on 03-06-18
By: Jonathan Scott, and others
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The Unspeakable
- And Other Subjects of Discussion
- By: Meghan Daum
- Narrated by: Meghan Daum
- Length: 6 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 120
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 102
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Story4 out of 5 stars 102
It's a report tempered by hard times. In "Matricide", Daum unflinchingly describes a parent's death and the uncomfortable emotions it provokes; and in "Diary of a Coma" she relates her own journey to the twilight of the mind. But Daum also operates in a comic register. With perfect precision, she reveals the absurdities of the marriage-industrial complex, of the New Age dating market, and of the peculiar habits of the young and digital.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Complaining about her dead mom.
- By Erik Hermansen on 11-23-14
By: Meghan Daum
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My Korean Deli
- Risking It All for a Convenience Store
- By: Ben Ryder Howe
- Narrated by: Bronson Pinchot
- Length: 8 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 339
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 263
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Story4 out of 5 stars 267
This sweet and funny tale of a preppy editor buying a Brooklyn deli with his Korean in-laws is about family, culture clash, and the quest for authentic experiences. It starts with a gift. When Ben Ryder Howe’s wife, the daughter of Korean immigrants, decides to repay her parents’ self-sacrifice by buying them a store, Howe, an editor at the rarefied Paris Review, agrees to go along.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Absolutely delightful!
- By Grace O'Malley on 03-19-11
By: Ben Ryder Howe
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Spelling It Like It Is
- By: Tori Spelling
- Narrated by: Tori Spelling
- Length: 6 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 391
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 345
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Story4 out of 5 stars 344
Tori Spelling is the first to admit that the "reality" behind her popular television show, Tori & Dean, isn't always real. Not even Star magazine could invent the true chaos that happens behind the scenes. Luckily, Tori is famously honest and self-deprecatingly funny when it comes to her personal life - she's always "Spelling it like it is". Tori here shares her stories, her biggest challenges, and more with the usual humor, candor, and down-to-earth charm that her fans love.
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2 out of 5 stars
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I Spell Opportunist: T O R I S P E L L I N G
- By Hilary on 07-22-14
By: Tori Spelling
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What's So Funny?
- My Hilarious Life
- By: Tim Conway, Jane Scovell, Carol Burnett - foreword
- Narrated by: Tim Conway, Carol Burnett, Dick Hill, and others
- Length: 8 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 2,165
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,943
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Story4 out of 5 stars 1,934
Six-time Emmy Award-winning funnyman Tim Conway, best known for his characters on The Carol Burnett Show, offers a straight-shooting and hilarious memoir about his life on stage and off as an actor and comedian. In television history, few entertainers have captured as many hearts and made as many people laugh as Tim Conway. There's nothing in the world that Tim Conway would rather do than entertain - and in his first-ever memoir, What's So Funny?, that's exactly what he does.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Not narrated by Tim
- By Bob Murdock on 05-05-14
By: Tim Conway, and others
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Stories I'd Tell in Bars
- By: Jen Lancaster
- Narrated by: Jen Lancaster, John Fletcher
- Length: 8 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 365
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 325
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Story4 out of 5 stars 322
Unfiltered. Unapologetic. Older, but not wiser, Lancaster goes back to basics in this hilarious essay collection about everything from taking community policing classes to accidentally getting high with her waiter after a fancy dinner. These are the tales she'd tell if she met you in a bar... if she weren't too lazy to put on pants and go to a bar. Offering advice ranging from how to remain happily married to a man who refuses to blow his damn nose already to not creating An Incident at the cheese counter during an attempt at Whole30, she's you, only louder.
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2 out of 5 stars
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self absorbed
- By D D H on 06-15-19
By: Jen Lancaster