Patricia Wants to Cuddle

By: Samantha Allen

Narrated by: Cindy Kay, Justis Bolding, Laura Knight Keating, Susan Bennett, Jasmin Walker

The contestants of a reality television dating show compete for love--and their lives--in this pulse-pounding and viciously funny fiction debut from the GLAAD Award-winning author of Real Queer America.

When the final four women in competition for an aloof, if somewhat sleazy, bachelor’s heart arrive on a mysterious island in the Pacific Northwest, they mentally prepare themselves for another week of extreme sleep deprivation, invasive interviews, and of course, the salacious drama that viewers nationwide tune in to eagerly devour. Each woman came on The Catch for her own reasons--brand sponsorships, followers, and yes, even love--and they’ve all got their eyes steadfastly trained on their respective prizes.

Enter Patricia, a temperamental but woefully misunderstood local, living alone in the dark, verdant woods and desperate to forge a connection of her own. As the contestants perform for the cameras that surround them, Patricia watches from her place in the shadows, a queer specter haunting the bombastic display of heterosexuality before her. But when the cast and crew at last make her acquaintance atop the island’s tallest and most desolate peak, they soon realize that if they’re to have any hope of making it to the next Elimination Event, they’ll first have to survive the night.

A whirlwind romp careening toward a last-girl-standing conclusion and a scathing indictment of contemporary American media culture, Patricia Wants to Cuddle is also a love story: between star-crossed lesbians who rise above their intolerant town, a deeply ambivalent woman and her budding self-actualization, and a chosen family of misfit islanders forging community against all odds.

©2022 Samantha Allen (P)2022 Recorded Books

Not what I expected but in the best way possible

I came into this with a totally open mind when someone from my book club recommended this for the month. I honestly went into it thinking this was going to be a romance of some sort but thats further from the truth. There is a tiny romance piece but that’s it. I would say this has more of a horror element to it.

With that said, this book really is fun. It’s a pretty quick read and is great for people that love dating shows like “The Bachelor”. It also has a queer element to it which was a super adorable cherry on top.

The only thing holding me back from that 5th star is that I wish the ending wasn’t so rushed feeling. I wanted to know more… about her of course. I wanted to know more!! It just felt like it was missing some information that I could have really gotten into and that just didn’t happen which bummed me out.

Overall though, if you like fun, pretty tame horror stories this is a good one! I wasn’t expecting to like it as much as I did. I would recommend!

Bachelor with a hint of true crime

I loved the narrator, I loved the storyline, I just felt like it was very rushed. But it’s a parody based off of our reality and o truly enjoyed it

A tad violent and dark but aside from that…

The book was a little dark but quite listenable Not really my taste. Not sure what the remaining characters motivations were, which makes them seem mostly crazy.

Unique

Fun, graphic, unique read! Definitely will recommend for a mindless listen. Narrators are great as well!

An interesting read

This book really surprised me. I wasn't expecting that type of an ending. It was a pretty good read overall.

Really interesting story!

I was definitely not expecting some of the stuff that happened in this book - in a good way! Really fun read!

CUDDLE ME ALREADY

Patricia gets what Patricia wants and we want more audiobooks like this!
Playfully deadpan narration juxtaposed beautifully with Allen’s clever writing style and fatalistic wit. You’ll hang on every moment, gush on every reveal, just dying to be a lucky few standing for that rose ceremony. Light the candles, pour a glass, and draw my warm bubble bath because true love awaits, my friends, if you’re willing to risk it all!

Clever and Entertaining

Really clever and unexpected story. It was funny and entertaining, even if it was very self aware of its cleverness. A good satire about Bachelor Nation.

Goofy and Predictable

The author used all kinds of tricks and plot devices but it felt like Direct to DVD Sandler comedy with splashes of gore. It never got me scared and the characters were one dimensional and boring

What did I just listen to?

Not at all what I expected, the book doesn’t make a lot of sense and the end is abrupt