Out of Focus

My Story of Sexuality, Shame, and Toxic Evangelicalism

By: Amber Cantorna-Wylde

Narrated by: Amber Cantorna-Wylde

When a mass shooter killed five people in an LGBTQ nightclub in Colorado Springs, grieving people graffitied James Dobson's Focus on the Family headquarters with the words "Their blood is on your hands." Such an accusation comes as no surprise to Amber Cantorna-Wylde, whose father is a Focus on the Family executive and cast Amber out of her family when she came out in 2012. From severed family ties to malicious murder, such enmity is the fruit of a religious movement that considers it more faithful to reject your child or even to kill than to accept and love LGBTQ+ people. Evangelical organizations like Dobson's, along with pastors like Jerry Falwell, Franklin Graham, and Robert Jeffress, built an empire out of their conservative Christian beliefs and convinced millions of Americans that sexual purity, patriarchal families, and militaristic nationalism were God's priority. Cantorna-Wylde shows listeners how the political and personal intertwine to cause shame and suffering that Jesus would never desire, including the long-term effects of identity-repression, trauma, and family estrangement. A blend of heart-wrenching memoir and astute cultural analysis, Out of Focus will help heal individuals harmed by evangelicalism's toxic influence and inspire Christian communities to pursue a path of love and inclusion.

©2023 Amber Cantorna-Wylde, Foreword Copyright 2023 by Westminster John Knox Press (P)2023 eChristian

Deeply Insightful

What an incredibly thoughtful, insightful, and compelling work.

As a former evangelical, I have been trying to understand the far-right turn of that form of Christianity since 2016. This helps me grasp how the embrace of white heterosexual male dominant sexuality has shaped this part of the American church, while bleeding into Catholicism & mainline churches as well.

Beyond sociology, this is a revealing life story of how we as humans can be kinder & more accepting of one another.

I read this in one day because I could not stop engaging with it.

giving words to those of us who can't find them

hearing this authors story was in many ways like hearing my own told back to me. With honesty and courage she lays out the truth of what growing up and coming out as a gay person can be like in evangelical spaces. I'm so very greatful for this book, and so sorry that we live in a world were I don't doubt a word of it.

Amazing

All I can say is that I was blown away by the incredible experiences this author survived. I was so encouraged by her story and strength.

This resonates with my soul

I needed this. As a child of the 90s I was raised on the voices of James Dobson and Whit. Connie and Eugene taught me to parallel park, and my soul is tired. I cried, I healed, this book was needed in my life.

Raw, Honest, heartfelt

I appreciate Amber's honesty and vulnerability in sharing her difficult journey from a 'Focus' upbringing to finding her true self and be able to live unashamed, with dignity and confidence. I was born in '62, and grew-up in tight religious (Mennonite) faith community (aligned w Focus teachings), and in recent years have left the church (and belief in god) as i could no longer be part of a community that seemed to me to be using scripture (and authority of god) to advance their desires at the expense of people (like Amber) on the margins... I have a younger brother who committed suicide when I was 15.. to this day, i wonder if he struggled with something that was unacceptable in our family, and the church, that he couldn't share with others...
A valuable part of my recent journey has been a commitment to reading the stories of those who are different or on the margins, to hopefully help is see how much we all share the same yearnings and desires, and to make the world a safer, more inclusive and loving place. Thank you Amber for helping us all along that path.

Excellent work

I’m going to have to digest and get back to you on that. It was very well narrated and the content was incredibly topical for our times